"Boyfriend Air" Is All Over TikTok, But What Is It?
Maybe she’s born with it — maybe it’s boyfriend air. According to a new TikTok theory that has garnered over 73 million views, you’re not the only one feeling the ick after spending time with your significant other. Apparently, it’s common to feel a little yuckier after spending consecutive nights with your partner. We can blame it on the fact that your good self-care products are at home, but what if it’s not you… what if it’s him?
Whatever it is, energy doesn’t lie and if thousands of women are validating this theory, then it’s probably worth looking into. And who better to go to than a body-loving sexpert who will tell us everything we need to know about the energy exchange? Let’s start with the facts:
What even is boyfriend air?
According to Laura Delarato, author of My Pleasure: An Intimate Guide to Loving Your Body and Having Great Sex, “boyfriend air is when a person looks less put together after spending time with their boyfriend.” So, you know when you spoon your man on his flattened pillow and wake up with a breakout on your chin? Then you hop in the shower and wash the oil out of your hair with his 3-in-1 body wash? Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about. That sort of musk in the air.
“Yes, of course, when you engage in any physical activity with a partner, the makeup, the hair, the look is not going to stay in place. But we’re talking about energy here, and a low amount of it can certainly dull skin, cause dark circles, flatten hair, etc.,” says Delarato — and she makes a great point. After a weekend of ordering out, steamy sex, and lounging on the couch, you’ll probably feel a little heavier, energy-wise, and your body could certainly show it.
Could an irregular skin and hair care routine be to blame — or something else entirely?
When you spend lots of time with your boyfriend, me-time turns into we-time, and you may find yourself prioritizing things that offer a mutual benefit over your own self-care. “It’s possible that once a person is comfortable in a relationship the baseline skin and hair routines fall to the wayside — and that’s okay,” Delarato assures us. “If those routines are important to you, or if you’re finding you’re not enjoying how you feel giving away so much energy, find ways to incorporate those back into your calendar.”
Is boyfriend air a threat to relationships?
You might feel physically worse after spending too much time with your boo, but boyfriend air shouldn’t impact your emotional connection. Delarato says there’s nothing to worry about: “I don’t believe boyfriend air is a threat to a relationship — if anything, it’s a fairly normal occurrence when a person is experiencing the same routine with their partner.”
However, that’s not to say that you’re completely off the hook. If there is something beneath the (smelly) surface that needs to be addressed, you should feel comfortable bringing it up to your partner.
“I find the threat here to be less about the effects of boyfriend air, and more about not checking in individually and as a couple to make sure you’re both getting what you need to feel good in your body,” Delarato shares.
So, how do you combat boyfriend air?
Now, I know we’ve made this out to seem like a pretty scary phenomenon (blame TikTok, not me!), but there are ways to combat the invisible ick. Delarato offers this: “The best way to combat boyfriend air is to have a check in with yourself about what you need to be the best version of you.”
Instead of harping on what we-time has done to you, think about what me-time could do for you. “If your look is important to you, take stock of your routine and make room for it when you’re spending time with your partner — this is a good time to chat about leaving a few items at their place so you can feel like your best self when you’re over. If you’re not getting enough sleep, have a conversation about your schedule and preferred bed times. Of course, it’s not always going to be perfect but the time you put into yourself will help support the energy you provide to your partner.”
Where do I start?
The best way to freshen the air is with a solid skin and hair care routine. We recommend these travel-sized beauty products for your next sexy sleepover:
Fenty Skin Start’rs Set ($45)
Fenty Skin Body Duo ($45)
Glossier Boy Brow + Balm Dotcom + Futuredew (Was $57, now $48)
Chill Tips Press-Ons ($16-$18)
What a relief it is to fiiiiiinally put a name to an experience so many of us share. Now that we’ve identified boyfriend air, let’s get to the bottom of it — and do away with it for good. 💪
What are your tips for fighting boyfriend air? Let us know on Twitter and in the comments!
Header image viaToa Heftiba / Unsplash
