What To Do After A Breakup, According To An Expert

What *Not* To Do After A Breakup

Don't Focus On Your Ex, Especially If They've Moved On

When you move on from an ex, it's important to put boundaries into place. "Don’t spend time obsessing over who their new partner is," Boodram says. "That can often lead you down a rabbit hole of insecurity and comparison."

We know firsthand how desirable it can be to creating an imaginationship and daydream about getting back together, but don't forget that more likely than not, you broke up for a reason. "Don’t lean into tactics to 'get your ex back,'" Boodram continues, "instead begin your individual journey to accepting that this person has moved on and ask yourself: what tools do I have at my disposal to make me feel okay about this?"

Don't Spend Too Much Time On Social Media

"Giving yourself a break seeing or hearing from the person may help you heal and separate what from the mourning process more quickly," Boodram says. "My advice here is to unfollow your ex or, better yet, come to a mutual agreement to block one another at least for the first six months to a year after the breakup."

Blocking one another (or taking the initiative to block them if that's not a conversation you're ready to have) will give you space. "You need to reach a point where you’re no longer longing for the emotional connection with them. Be mindful of your social media use following a breakup in general," Boodram continues. "Any reminders of your recent breakup, even if it’s through friends’ relationships, might make your thoughts turn back to your ex."

If you really want to take a break altogether, you can also consider deleting your social media apps off your phone to disconnect from the world for a bit. However, because there isn't a one-size-fits-all cure for heartbreak, there are some cases where the opposite is true. "It can in some cases...be really helpful to reread old conversations between you and your ex," Boodram says. "This will give you an opportunity to re-examine why the relationship ultimately did not – and will not – work."

Don't Forget To Prioritize Life-Giving Activities

"Don’t pour energy into things that don’t give you satisfaction or stability," Boodram recommends. Self-care — which can include nourishing your physical body with recipes and exercise, or fueling your brain with your favorite books — is a huge part of ensuring stability.

According to the National Institute For Mental Health, self-care can help you manage your stress and increase your energy, both of which you might need. Your favorite hobbies can help your mental health, and can range from something that engages your imagination (like creative writing) or gives your body rest (like a bubble bath with your favorite show). Not sure where to start? Here's How To Kickstart A New Hobby!

Don't Be Afraid To Get Back Out There

When learning how to move on from an ex, Boodram recommends knowing when is the right time to get back out into the dating game. Whether you download a dating app, agree to a blind date, or give a cute stranger your phone number, you have the power to shape your romantic future — and have a good time while doing it.

"Once you feel ready to start putting yourself back out there, take advantage of the technology at your disposal," Boodram says. "Apps like Bumble enable you to highlight unique interests to expedite the process of meeting people who you will likely form kind, lasting connections with."

What To Do After A Breakup

Hang Out With Your Friends

When healing from a breakup, you don't only want to impose boundaries to stick to. You want to make sure you add in habits and routines that will fill your cup and make you feel good! When we're feeling down, we love hanging out with our friends, so try out an affordable friend date or get together with a "nothing" friend (you know, the ones you can do chores with, work with, or just...do nothing).

Look For Glimmers

Consider a glimmer the opposite of a trigger. They're small bursts of joy that come throughout your day, whether you see a dog on the street, you get to light your favorite fall candle, or it's finally cool enough to wear your favorite sweater. Start writing them down and you'll realize just how many you see in a single day.

Make Your Favorite Comfort Food

Food can totally transform your mood. Think about your go-to creamy mac and cheese, loaded baked potato, or a colorful salad that always puts a smile on your face. These comfort food recipes are also healthy, that way you're fueling your body and your soul at the same time.

Start Journaling

Whether you're going through a healing process or just trying to move through the day to day, sometimes you have a lot of feelings and a lot of thoughts — and that's okay. Journaling can help you work through a problem, or just help you process emotions that feel really big. Aside from following some journal prompts, we've found that writing down exactly what we're thinking in the moment, like a stream of consciousness, is really helpful.