8 Ways to Get Around Pregnancy Brain

Your car keys are in the freezer, you can’t remember any of your passwords, and you just came home from a two-hour grocery shopping expedition with nothing more than a bag of rocky road ice cream and three mangoes. Yeah, you have pregnancy brain. And it’s totally normal — heck, even science says it’s a real thing. Knowing that your seemingly sluggish mental prowess is just part of being pregnant won’t help your sudden forgetfulness, but these tips might just do the trick.

1. Write notes, notes, and more notes. Put everything down on paper. Or rather, use one of the gazillion note-making apps to create lists. You know, “just in case” you forget (you totally will). You can also text your S.O. (not only can they remind you, but you’ll have the text you sent to view) or send yourself emails.

2. Work out more than once in a while. While exercise on its own won’t cure pregnancy brain, it does give you time to relax and de-stress. Letting go and getting physical can help to recharge your mental state. Whether you hit the gym, take a walk around the block, or join a prenatal yoga class, you’ll find benefits galore in a daily workout.

3. Get enough sleep. Okay, okay, so it’s not always easy to get a full night’s sleep — especially when your growing baby has their foot pressed up against your bladder. But do what you can to get as much rest as possible. A tired mama-to-be is a forgetful mama-to-be. This might mean changing your dinner plans to a lunch date or waiting until the weekend to catch up on the emails that are littering your inbox.

4. Take pictures of everything. In a few short months, you’ll be snapping away, taking pic after pic of your lovely little newborn. But for right now, use photos as a memory tool. This strategy is helpful if you tend to forget where you parked your car, what you have left in the fridge (and what you need at the store), or people’s names (edit a photo of them to add a caption).

5. Designate organization areas. Everything has a home. That’s it. There’s nothing easier than finding what you’re looking for exactly where it belongs. Create “homes” for important objects, such as your keys or your phone. Keeping your keys in the same basket next to your desk at work every day means that you’ll be less likely to misplace them and freak out at 5pm when you want to go home but can’t get into your car.

6. Set alarms all day long. You were supposed to meet your BFF for lunch at noon. At 12:30 you get a “where r u?” text. Your friend probably understands your new tendency to flake out. But you could have avoided the whole situation if you had set an alarm on your phone to help you remember to head out.

7. Talk it out. Pregnancy isn’t always rainbows, lollipops, and unicorns. Sometimes it’s scary — even when everything is going perfectly fine. The stress you’re feeling is normal, but it’s still weighing on your mind. The more time you spend thinking about the “what ifs,” the less time you can devote to thinking about everything else. Talking to your S.O., a family member, or a friend can help you to better cope with the stress and get some of your pre-pregnancy memory back.

8. Enlist the help you need. Preparing for baby comes with an almost endless list of must-dos. Trying to knock every item off your “get it done ASAP” list by yourself is only adding to the pressure you feel. While you can’t have someone else grow the baby for you, there’s no reason that your other half, family, and friends can’t pitch in and help out. The less you have to think about, the less you’ll forget!

Tweet us your funniest pregnancy brain moment @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

The perks of having an older sister means I've been able to ask her all my more embarrassing questionsgrowing up. My whole life, we've chatted about everything from periods to sex to giving birth. Then one day, right before I graduated high school, she gifted me a book that changed everything: Nancy Redd's Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers. It not only helped me understand my body more, but it also helped soothe some of the insecurity I had before my postpartum body developed into what it is today.

I eventually gifted Body Drama to someone else, but I never forgot about how beneficial it was, and I always thought there should be more work like it out in the world. As it turns out, Nancy Redd wasn't done normalizing bodies and questions bout sexual health — the author and Wirecutter journalist just released The Real Body Manual: Your Visual Guide to Health & Wellness! Not only is it a great resource for those who are looking for answers to more specific health questions, but it's something I continue to revisit on the days my insecurity dampens my mood!

I chatted with Redd to understand more about her work — and I came out understanding even more about myself and how I want to help raise the future generation.

The Difference Between 'Body Drama' And 'The Real Body Manual'

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If you've had the pleasure of sticking your nose in Nancy Redd's Body Drama, you're familiar with how well-researched and thorough it is. In that regard, The Real Body Manual is no different — but Redd highlights it's still a "totally different book." She says, "The world has changed dramatically, and we're talking so much more about bodies, and we see a lot more bodies."

Despite seeing all those "real" bodies on TV and otherwise, women — and people in general — still don't feel great about themselves. According to a 2022 study, 32% of teens had a negative opinion about their acne, while 31% weren't comfortable with their weight. Meanwhile, another study shows that 80% of women have referred to themselves as "fat."

To combat troubling statistics like those, Redd hopesThe Real Body Manual can help. "I think we're all operating with not enough information about the world we live in, and I think the more information we can receive in a safe, educated, medically-accurate space, the better," she explains.

Centre for Ageing Better

Redd also really wanted to write a book that taught both her son and her daughter about their changing bodies — and she feels this is the perfect time for everyone to come together and learn about the way bodies not only look, but function. She likens these lessons to learning about world geography. "We don't just need to know about the small town we live in. We need to know about the state, country, the world-at-large," she stresses. And she thinks The Real Body Manual can help you "learn about your own body, your friends, and the people in society you live with."

If you look at the group of friends I have today, everyone doesn't have the same body shame. One of my friends is a little taller and curvier than I am while another is shorter and rounder. I dealt with acne-prone skin and dark spots while my best friend Cookie didn't really struggle with that. It's honestly rare that everyone will look the same — and that's okay! But learning about what's going on with all of us helps bridge our experiential gaps and creates better shared understanding.

And with that in mind, here are the 4 things I learned about my body — and all bodies — when chatting with Nancy and reading The Real Body Manual.

1. Understanding Your Body Doesn't Have To Look Like Everyone Else's

MART PRODUCTION

I grew up during a time where certain body types were celebrated more than others in media, and it had a negative effect on how I perceived my own body. I believed I wasn't supposed to have stretch marks because video vixens didn't, and became horrified when I discovered them in middle school as a slender girl. Not only that, but I didn't really develop curves until after I gave birth which made me feel like an outlier in my community.

Recent studies found there's a link between teens aged 16-18 years old developing body dysmorphia and social media...which doesn't sound surprising. And while there are countless body positive accounts that also exist — and I really do promise I'm not saying to completely ditch your socials — sometimes you have to take a step away from it (and other influencers) if it's having a negative impact on your self-esteem.

"Some bodies naturally look like those in music videos. I think separating that from being able to find love or have purpose in your life — they're completely separate things," Redd insists. She breaks things down even further by explaining why you not looking a certain way doesn't discount you from enjoying life. "Some people are born with the ability to be tennis stars, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up a tennis racket because you're not Serena Williams."

The main point she drives home is that "every person can have a great time with their bodies" which is why The Real Body Manual reads like an encouraging, evidence-based love letter to readers.

2. Loving Yourself Is A Choice

Anna Tarazevich

Just like I had to make the decision to fully accept the body I have, it's something Nancy says everyone has the ability to do. "It's literally a choice," she says before one of her kids quickly pops into our convo. In a tender moment, she asks her child, "Hello, do you love your body?"

This brief encounter circles back to the reason why The Real Body Manual matters — it opens up these conversations with our kids, offering a tangible resource for others. I know I try to have more conversations like this with my son, and I've even encouraged him to hug himself when he needs a little dose of self love.

"The things that matter — having purpose in life, feeling love, being a good community member — don't have much to do with whether you have hyperpigmentation, freckles, cellulite, etc.," she says. "The more you know from the beginning of your journey that bodies look different, the easier it is for you to accept [yourself]. But if the only bodies you're seeing are sexualized in pornography, videos, and magazines, you don't have a real basis."

It's one of the biggest reasons she intended for The Real Body Manual to be a visual guide.

3. Your Naked Body Is Beautiful

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"I really like showing people what the body actually looks like for the most part," Redd says. Yeah, that's right — The Real Body Manual features real people's bodies, not just illustrations. In doing so, she says, "Everyone can see someone who resembles them." It doesn't matter if you're heavy-set, a person with different sized breasts, or anything in-between. The point is that you'll be able to find yourself somewhere in The Real Body Manual.

My mother told me how little information her own mom shared with her about bodies. Because of that, my mom always stressed that she wanted my sister and I to have access to whatever information we needed. She wanted us to be informed, and never inhibited by her own lack of comfort over a topic. But not all parents feel comfortable sharing with their kids.

Redd says, "I don't think it was done with malice. I think people are just working with whatever they have which is not a lot." She further notes people have chosen to refer to genitals as "down there" for both men and women instead of saying the proper term for them for their autonomy. I'll be honest — growing up in a religious background often means sexual shame was attached to very normal things like breasts and penises.

Not everyone was on board with me telling my toddler he has a penis instead of saying "pee pee" — or not talking about it at all, if we're being honest. But I wanted him to feel comfortable with what he was born with, and to know that his dad having the same anatomy is normal. "We just don't use the proper names for things which increases this shroud of secrecy about it. We aren't taught health literacy," Redd says.

4. 'The Real Body Manual' Is A Must-Have For Pre-Teens, Teens, And Adults

Yan Krukau

Funnily enough, Redd informs me that October is actually Health Literacy Month, making all this really round out. We should know what's going on with our bodies, whether it's the proper terminology, what changes we're going through, what we can look like. Ignorance only makes our experiences more confusing and harder — especially when we're young and probably have a million different questions.

She explains that if you ask people specifics like 'How does a period work,' then they may not know the answer. "The same goes for if you ask what's the difference between a freckle and a mole," Redd explains. "It may not seem like these things are a big deal, but when something goes wrong, you need to know 'I need to get this thing checked out.'"

Information is power, and when armed with information about our bodies we can lead safer, healthier lives. Instead of wondering why we don't talk about things enough, Redd decided to take the bull by the horns and talk about them — and she thinks you should talk about them, even (and sometimes especially) when they're uncomfortable. She says, "Any time you feel shame or discomfort discussing your body, that's a sign you don't have enough information."

If you find yourself unable to ask other people questions, but want to start feeling comfortable in your body, I highly recommend that you read both Body Drama and The Real Body Manual because they're equipped with detailed explanations — and helpful imagery — about how bodies actually look, work, and feel.

Buy 'The Real Body Manual' Here!

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The Real Body Manual

Looking for more incredible books to read right now? Check out our fave new reads here!

From Kamala Harris-inspired bobs to silky Lindsay Lohan-esque tresses, the season of the silk press (or straighter hairstyles) is officially here! It's been fun watching watching TikTok videos of women going to the salon to get their hair straightened, but it made me ask myself if people truly know how to maintain this style at home. It's one thing to watch a licensed hairstylist work their magic, but the upkeep may not be as straightforward for some people!

Luckily, celebrity hairstylists, Takisha Sturdivant-Drew and Natalie Lamorena, are here to answer all my burning questions. Sturdivant-Drew has over 20 years of experience working in the film and commercial industry, styling clients such as Kerry Washington, Lucy Liu, and Ashley Graham. She also worked on TV series like Suits and the Oscar-nominated film Ray. Lamorena owns Polished Pub Hair & Nail Bar— not to mention she invented the viral "Headicure" service for clients who love the idea of getting a manicure while receiving the best blowout of their lives. And with all that experience, the two of them have plenty to say about silk presses.

TL;DR

  • You should rely on professionals for the majority of your silk presses, but you can maintain them at home with "the right tools and products."
  • Different hair types require different temperatures and products — be sure to research and check with your hair dresser to make sure your treating your hair the right way.
  • Don't get a silk press if you've recently straightened your hair.
  • Heat protectant is key for any silk press or hair straightening.
  • Naturally curly or textured hair should limit silk presses to once or twice a month; other hair types should keep it to no more than once a week.
  • Be sure to wrap your hair correctly and use a bonnet to maintain your style.

How do you know when to straighten your hair at home or go to the salon?

Sephora

Desperate times call for desperate measures when you're due for a hair appointment and can't book one. I'm sure all of us have turned into an armchair hairstylist by giving ourselves a trim, quick haircut, or dye job. You've probably even watched a few tutorials about how to give yourself a homemade silk press or blowout. I know I've recently purchased a few things to help me maintain my hair at home, but should we be straightening our hair at home?

Lamorena says, "While it’s possible to straighten hair at home, I’d recommend going to a professional for the best results. Stylists know how to work with different hair types, adjust heat settings accordingly, and use high-quality products that protect your hair." If we decide to forego a stylist's expertise, she says we can "accidentally cause damage with uneven heat or over-processing."

Sturdivant-Drew agrees that it's best to see a stylist "for the first few silk presses," but it's not impossible to safely straighten your own hair. "If you have the right tools and products, along with research, you can achieve this hairstyle at home," she says.

How should different hair types approach a silk press?

Sephora

Just like everyone doesn't have the same skin complexion or undertones, hair types can differ too. This means someone with a fine hair isn't always going to have the same routine as someone with thicker strands — which is why all silk presses aren't the same. "There's definitely no one-size-fits-all approach. The technique used depends on the client’s hair type and texture," Lamorena confirms. This isn't to scare you, however!

Sturdivant-Drew says, "The process of getting a silk press is pretty standard — prepping the hair with shampoo, conditioner, and heat protectant, followed by straightening with a blow dryer and flat iron, and finishing with a lightweight oil or serum."

She and Lamorena do agree that some hair textures require a little more than others though. Lamorena says you could only need "a simple blowout and flat iron" while someone may need "more intensive treatments like keratin or a Brazilian blowout for longer-lasting results." If your hair is very curly or textured — and you're ultimately not seeing the results you want — she says chemically straightening your hair is another option. However, Sturdivant-Drew reminds me, "Stylists usually adjust heat settings based on their client's hair health and texture."

Either way, we always recommend you check with your stylist before making any permanent or lasting decisions!

What should you avoid doing before getting a silk press?

Mike Jones

Getting a silk press doesn't always involve chemicals, but there are still things you need to avoid before your appointment. Unlike the steps you may follow at home, Lamorena wants you to "avoid loading your hair with a bunch of heavy products " because this can "make the straightening process less effective and lead to more heat being used" than you need. Also, she doesn't want you to wash your hair because "natural oils protect your hair from the heat."

It probably goes without saying, but you also shouldn't book a silk press appointment if you've already straightened your hair. "...that can make it harder for the stylist to work with and could increase the risk of damage," says Lamorena. Besides that, Sturdivant-Drew advises against "using color or relaxers should be avoided before getting a silk press" because "this could lead to a lot of breakage."

What increases a risk of heat damage with this style?

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As gorgeous as silk presses are, it's possible to use "too much heat," according to Lamorena. She says, "People tend to crank up the heat on their flat irons and blow dryers, but that can seriously damage the hair cuticle, especially if your hair is fine or already fragile." Something I've learned over time is that a licensed and experienced hair stylist has better knowledge of what's really going on with our hair. They're able to have a clearer view of your scalp, roots, split ends, and more.

The other thing that contribute to damage is not protecting your hair. Lamorena implores that heat protectant products are "are crucial for minimizing damage." Even if you use the right products, you could be straightening your hair way too often. It's normal to want to have straighter hairstyles for a little while, but you should keep in mind that you don't want to overdo it.

"Not prepping or using a heat protectant on your hair will cause a lot of damage. Silk presses require a lot of heat, so it's best to use good heat protectant," adds Sturdivant-Drew. She personally prefers to use Smooth Moisture's Thermal Hair Strengthener because "their system is built for silk presses specifically." She loves that it truly upholds against heat and "adds a nice shine to the hair" once you apply it.

When would it be recommended that a client avoid getting a silk press?

Kaboompics.com

Here comes the not so fun part. As much as you don't want to hear this, your hair may not be able to handle getting a silk press right now. "If your hair is already damaged, it's best to hold off on straightening. Hair that's brittle, dry, or over-processed can be further damaged by heat styling," says Lamorena. What you can do in the meantime is help strengthen your hair by giving yourself "deep conditioning treatments," according to Lamorena.

This is completely up to you and your stylish, but Lamorena suggests staying away from having your hair straightened "during really humid months...if you're prone to frizz" because "the style may not last as long."

Is there a limit to how often clients should receive a silk press?

Tomaz Barcellos

I'm not an expert, but even I know too much of something can become a bad thing. In the case of using excess heat, I can imagine the implications of that over time. Lamorena says, "There's definitely a limit. You don't want to be straightening your hair too often," and shares her rule of thumb for textures:

  • Naturally Curly or Textured Hair — Limit silk presses to once or twice a month to avoid weakening the hair or losing your curl pattern.
  • Other Hair Types — Keep it to no more than once a week.

All hair types are capable of experiencing "long-term damage," but giving "your hair a break between sessions helps maintain its health," Lamorena says.

Sturdivant-Drew stresses, "Taking a break between silk presses is important in allowing your hair to recover and maintain the health of your hair. I recommend limiting your silk presses to every 6-8 weeks."

How can clients maintain this style at home during the fall?

Sephora

Even though cooler temperatures means you won't have to fight against possible frizz, you still have to take care of your silk press. "Maintaining a straight style during the fall can be tricky with cooler weather, wind, and dryness in the air, but it’s doable," says Lamorena. She suggests that you use:

  • Use a flat iron with adjustable heat settings to avoid unnecessary damage. Tools like the Dyson Corrale or GHD Platinum+ are solid options
  • A wide-tooth comb is great for detangling without pulling or breaking the hair

"Keeping up with a regular routine and using the right tools and products can really help your style last, even through the challenges that fall weather brings," she says.

No matter what your hair type is, Sturdivant-Drew suggests "wrapping your hair correctly and using a bonnet" as they're "key to maintaining" a silk press. Similar to what Lamorena said earlier, Sturdivant-Drew believes "humidity is your worst enemy...so try to avoid humid environments as best as possible!"

Shop Other Expert Silk Press Recommendations

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Bumble and Bumble Invisible Oil Primer

"Always apply a heat protectant before using any hot tools. Some favorites include Oribe Royal Blowout and Bumble and Bumble Invisible Oil Primer," she says.

Amazon

Moroccanoil Treatment

"For taming frizz, try an anti-frizz serum like Moroccanoil Treatment," suggests Lamorena. or John Frieda Frizz Ease.

Amazon

John Frieda Frizz Ease

Another option you can use to beat the frizz is John Frieda's Frizz Ease. It's another one of Lamorena's recommendations that will "help seal in moisture and keep your style sleek even in windy fall weather."

Amazon

Kérastase Discipline Fluidissime

Lamorena says, "A good leave-in conditioner is key to keeping hair smooth and hydrated; Kérastase Discipline Fluidissime works wonders."

Amazon

Living Proof Perfect Hair Day

"To extend your style without washing, use dry shampoo. This is a great option to absorb oil without having to restyle with heat," she says.

Our Silk Press Recommendations

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Giovanni Frizz Be Gone Serum

This anti-frizz serum will not only keep humidity from messing up your silk press, but it'll help improve your hair's elasticity over time and will even add an extra boost of shine to it.

Amazon

Wavytalk Professional Hair Dryer with Diffuser

If you decide to straighten your hair at home, you need a good blow dryer that'll work with your texture. Wavytalk has an inexpensive option that comes with a comb attachment, diffuser, and nozzle to help you dry your hair no matter what style you're wearing. It also has the right amount of heat settings that'll lessen the chance you cause any damage.

Amazon

CHI 44 Iron Guard Heat Protectant

Not only do I personally love this heat protectant, so does our Affiliate Writer Meredith Holser! It's been our go-to product whenever we straighten our hair because it truly does a great job of protecting our hair from heat and has a slightly fragrant smell we can't get enough of. In my experience, a little goes a long way so you'll get plenty of uses out of it.

Follow our Amazon storefront to see which hair products we'll always keep in our bathrooms.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Navigating adulthood as an eldest daughter can be tough. While you’re not a child in your parents’ home anymore, the dynamics you grew up with can still follow. Think about it: how often do you find yourself trying to solve everyone else’s problems while continuously trying to shoulder your own alone? If this resonates with you at all, you may be dealing with Eldest Daughter Syndrome.

To understand what this actually looks like beyond the TikTok therapy speak of it all, I talked to a licensed therapist, Briana Paruolo, LCMHC. As the founder of On Par Therapy — a practice that specializes in “burnout, disordered eating, and self-worth” that seeks to “empower high achieving women” — she comes across a lot of clients dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Here’s what Paruolo has to say!


TL;DR

  • Eldest daughter syndrome isn't in the DSM-5, but that doesn't make the experiences of eldest daughters any less real.
  • Eldest daughter syndrome can look like intense perfectionism, unrealistic high standards, an inability to delegate, and an innate need to prioritize the needs of others first.
  • Eldest daughters can heal by validating their experiences, understanding their self-worth, and setting clear boundaries with themselves and others — especially by just saying "no" sometimes.

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

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While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Pavel Danilyuk

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

Netflix

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Any Lane

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

jasmin chew

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

Elina Fairytale

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉

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I might not have wanted to be a doctor growing up, but man oh man do I enjoy watching a medical drama. Something about the literal life-or-death stakes in the operating room makes the personal stakes feel even juicier, and thanks to shows like Doctor Odyssey and Grey's Anatomy, it's never been a better time to be a medical drama fan. Here are some of the best medical TV shows to give you the chance to scrub in — and where to stream them.

Doctor Odyssey — On ABC/Hulu

Tina Thorpe/Disney

Max might live on a luxury cruise ship, but life is not a vacation (even if the crew really knows how to party). Working as the ship's doctor means constantly facing unexpected medical (and relational) issues. And while that already sounds complicated, being miles off shore doesn't help.

Doctor Odyssey stars Joshua Jackson, Don Johnson, Callum Swan, Emma Churms, and Stuart Clark.

Grey's Anatomy — On ABC/Hulu

Anne Marie Fox/Disney

You'd think by now we'd know what to expect from a day at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, but Grey's Anatomy season 21 has PLENTY of surprises in store. I'm still reeling from Mika's sister undergoing cancer treatment and potential fertility-saving treatment.

Grey's Anatomy season 21 stars Ellen Pompeo, Chandra Wilson, James Pickens Jr., Kevin McKidd, and Camilla Luddington.

Transplant — On Peacock

CTV/NBC

This can't-miss show follows Syrian doctor Bashir "Bash" Hamed, who takes refuge in Canada during the Syrian Civil War and rebuilds his career at Toronto's York Memorial Hospital.

Transplant stars Hamza Haq, Laurence Leboeuf, Ayisha Issa, Jim Watson, and Sirena Gulamgaus.

Chicago Med — On NBC And Peacock

George Burns Jr./NBC

Dick Wolf's NBC medical drama provides the staff of Gaffney Medical with plenty of challenges — both inside the emergency department and out.

Chicago Med stars S. Epatha Merkerson, Oliver Platt, Marlyne Barrett, Jessy Schram, and Luke Mitchell.

Saving Hope — On Hulu

Ken Woroner/NBCUniversal

Dr. Alex Reid already has a lot on her mind as a doctor at Hope Zion. But when a car accident leaves her fiancé Dr. Charles Harris in a coma (while on the way to their wedding no less), Alex has to balance her patients with the hope that he'll make it out okay.

Saving Hope stars Erica Durance, Michael Shanks, Erica Durance, Michael Shanks, Daniel Gillies, Huse Madhavji, Julia Taylor Ross, Kristopher Turner, Wendy Crewson, and Benjamin Ayres.

New Amsterdam — On Netflix And Peacock

NBC

Upholding tradition while also embracing the new is something we've all probably faced at one point or another, and that includes this medical drama. When Dr. Max Goodwin becomes the director at one of the oldest hospitals in the country, he's determined to change it for the better.

New Amsterdam stars Ryan Eggold, Freema Agyeman, and Janet Montgomery.

SkyMed — On Paramount+

Pief Weyman/Paramount+

Saving lives in a hospital? Incredible. Saving lives in a plane? Miraculous. This medical drama TV show follows the nurses and pilots flying air ambulances through Northern Canada, which is a concept I don't think I'll ever wrap my head around.

SkyMed stars Natasha Calis, Ace “Aason” Nadjiwon, Morgan Holmstrom, Praneet Akilla, Thomas Elms, Mercedes Morris, Kheon Clarke, and Braeden Clarke.

Dr. Death — On Peacock

Sophie Kohler/Peacock

Mandy Moore stars in this medical drama TV show, which follows a doctor who cares more about his ego than his patients — and causes more harm than good.

Dr. Death stars Joshua Jackson, Grace Gummer, Christian Slater, Alec Baldwin, AnnaSophia Robb, Édgar Ramírez, Mandy Moore, Ashley Madekwe, Gustaf Hammarsten, and Luke Kirby.

The Resident — On Netflix And Hulu

Fox

Gilmore Girls fans will want to tune into this one because Matt Czuchry (Logan) stars as the lead! And dang he looks good in scrubs. This medical drama follows the staff at Chastain Park Memorial Hospital in Atlanta, treating their patients while also peeking past the curtain into the healthcare industry. But don't worry, there's plenty of relationship drama, too ;).

The Resident stars Matt Czuchry, Emily VanCamp, Manish Dayal, Shaunette Renée Wilson, Bruce Greenwood, Merrin Dungey, Melina Kanakaredes, Moran Atias, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, and Andrew McCarthy.

House — On AppleTV+, Hulu, Prime Video, And Peacock

Fox

The successful and unconventional Dr. House leads a team of diagnosticians at New Jersey's Princeton–Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in this loose take on Dr. Holmes.

House stars Hugh Laurie, Lisa Edelstein, Omar Epps, Robert Sean Leonard, Jennifer Morrison, Jesse Spencer, Peter Jacobson, Kal Penn, Olivia Wilde, Amber Tamblyn, Odette Annable, and Charlyne Yi.

The Good Doctor — On Hulu

ABC

In this medical drama, Freddie Highmore stars as Shaun Murphy, the good doctor in question, an autistic surgical resident at San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. While he creates a new life for himself San Jose, California, it doesn't take long for his life in Wyoming to catch up with him.

The Good Doctor stars Freddie Highmore, Christina Chang, Richard Schiff, Will Yun Lee, Fiona Gubelmann, Paige Spara, Noah Galvin, and Bria Samoné Henderson.

Call The Midwife — On Netflix

PBS/BBC

Take a trip to London (and the '50s and '60s) with this dramatic series revolving around the lives of nurse midwives in the East End.

Call The Midwife stars Jessica Raine, Miranda Hart, Helen George, Bryony Hannah, Laura Main, Jenny Agutter, Pam Ferris, Judy Parfitt, Cliff Parisi, Stephen McGann, Ben Caplan, Daniel Laurie, Emerald Fennell, Victoria Yeates, Jack Ashton, Linda Bassett, Charlotte Ritchie, Kate Lamb, Jennifer Kirby, Annabelle Apsion, and Leonie Elliott.

Brilliant Minds — On NBC, FuboTV, And Peacock

Rafy/NBC

One of NBC's newest medical dramas follows a neurologist and his group of interns as they explore our brains like we've never seen before as they deal with relationships, mental health, and life outside the hospital.

Brilliant Minds stars Zachary Quinto, Tamberla Perry, Ashleigh LaThrop, Alex MacNicoll, Aury Krebs, Spence Moore II, and Teddy Sears.

Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman — On Prime Video

CBS

If you're a fan of science AND history, then tune into this 90s TV show that has literally every kind of drama wrapped into one: family, relationship, and more. I promise the series, which follows Dr. Michaela Quinn as she moves from Boston to the West in the 1800s, is a super compelling watch.

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman stars Jane Seymour, Joe Lando, Chad Allen, Shawn Toovey, Orson Bean, Jessica Bowman, and Erika Flores.

The Night Shift — Rent On Amazon Prime

Cathy Kanavy/NBC

If you thought your average medical drama was crazy during the day, wait until you see The Night Shift, which follows the nightly staff — and patients — at San Antonio Memorial Hospital.

The Night Shift stars Eoin Macken, Jill Flint, Ken Leung, Brendan Fehr, Robert Bailey, Jr., Jeananne Goossen, JR Lemon, Freddy Rodriguez, Daniella Alonso, Scott Wolf, Tanaya Beatty, and Luke Macfarlane.

A Gifted Man — On AppleTV+

Craig Blankenhorn/CBS

Surgeon Michael is self-absorbed, cold, and materialistic — but things start to change when the ghost of his late wife begins visiting him.

A Gifted Man stars Patrick Wilson, Jennifer Ehle, Margo Martindale, Liam Aiken, Julie Benz, Pablo Schreiber, Rachelle Lefevre, and Afton Williamson.

ER — On Hulu And Max

NBC

If you've ever been to the ER, then you know how chaotic it can be. And seeing both the professional and personal issues play out in this medical drama? Just as wild as you'd think.

ER stars Anthony Edwards, George Clooney, Sherry Stringfield, Noah Wyle, Julianna Margulies, Eriq La Salle, Gloria Reuben, Laura Innes, Maria Bello, Alex Kingston, Kellie Martin, Paul McCrane, Goran Višnjić, Michael Michele, Erik Palladino, Ming-Na Wen, and Maura Tierney.

Body of Proof — On Hulu

Nicole Wilder/ABC

Think of Body of Proof like Gilmore Girls in a different font. Because while balancing her career as a medical examiner with the rest of her life, Dr. Megan Hunt is also trying to reconnect with her daughter.

Body of Proof stars Dana Delany, Jeri Ryan, John Carroll Lynch, Nicholas Bishop, Sonja Sohn, Geoffrey Arend, Windell Middlebrooks, Mary Mouser, Mark Valley, and Elyes Gabel.

Good Sam — On AppleTV+

CBS

One Tree Hill's Sophia Bush leads this medical drama about Dr. Sam Griffith, who becomes Lakeshore Sentinel's top surgeon when her boss (and dad) falls into a coma. Naturally, that means she's in charge when he wakes up.

Good Sam stars Jason Isaacs, Sophia Bush, Skye P. Marshall, Michael Stahl-David, Omar Maskati, Wendy Crewson, Edwin Hodge, and Davi Santos.

Private Practice — On Hulu

ABC

Anyone who's missing Bridgerton should totally tune into this medical drama (and Grey's Anatomy spinoff) from Shonda Rhimes! Addison Montgomery is a neonatal surgeon who swaps Seattle Grace Hospital for a public clinic in LA (and a love triangle for a fresh start).

Private Practice stars Kate Walsh, Tim Daly, Audra McDonald, Paul Adelstein, KaDee Strickland, Chris Lowell, Taye Diggs, Amy Brenneman, Brian Benben, Caterina Scorsone, Benjamin Bratt, and Griffin Gluck.

Trust Me — On The Roku Channel

BBC

Trust is one of the most important parts of a doctor-patient relationship. But what happens when that trust disintegrates? This medical drama finds out.

Trust Me stars Jodie Whittaker, Emun Elliott, Sharon Small, Blake Harrison, Alfred Enoch, Katie Clarkson-Hill, John Hannah, and Ashley Jensen.

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Reboots and rewatches are all the rage right now, and for good reason. They're nostaltic, they're cozy, and they really make me wish I was a teenager in the 00s. In addition to Scott Patterson saying he's "always hopeful" for Gilmore Girls to come back, Keri Russell just revealed how much she'd love to revisit Felicity, too!

  • Keri Russell reveals she'd "totally do" a Felicity reboot — on one condition.
  • Scott Foley also says "it would be really nice" to get the cast back together.
  • Felicity ran from 1998-2002 on The WB and is now available to stream on Hulu.

    Are they rebooting Felicity?

    youtube.com

    - YouTube

    While promoting The Diplomat season 2, Keri Russell said she'd love to bring the series back if the story made sense. “I would totally do that if it was the right stuff,” she told E! News. “Mandy had a good pitch for it, actually. A really good pitch for, like… life wasn’t going great and, you know, didn’t work out. And she was supposed to be all these things. And then she bumps into someone…Never say never!"

    In case you haven't seen the show (which ran from 1998-2002 and is available to stream on Hulu, FYI), Felicity follows Keri Russell's titular character, who's in for a rude awakening when she follows her high school crush to college in New York City. But once she's there, she realizes just how big the Big Apple really is.

    The series also starred Scott Speedman as Ben Covington, Scott Foley as Noel Crane, Amy Jo Johnson as Julie Emrick, and Tangi Miller as Elena Tyler. Keri actually said they "all still talk all the time!”

    “They’re like my total pals,” she says.

    What else has the cast said about bringing Felicity back?

    Getty Images

    Scott Foley told ET that he'd consider coming back for another installment of Felicity, even though he's been against a reboot in the past. "I had always said I wouldn't — you know, there's no reason to do anything," he said. "But just to be with them again, I think would be really nice... When we did the 20th reunion down in Texas at the [ATX Television Festival], we were onstage in a panel answering questions, and I missed being with them."

    "I don't know if it could ever really happen, you know, Felicity was such a specific show at a specific time that took took place in a specific moment in people's lives," he continues. "And it's really hard to recapture — especially with the amount of gray going on right now."

    In March, Greg Gunberg (who played Sean Blumberg) hinted that there'd be some "GIGANTIC Felicity News Coming VERY Soon."

    So are we getting a Felicity reboot? It looks like, in Keri Russell's words, never say never!

    Check out 5 Old-School Shows To Stream On Prime Video for your weekend watch!