These 9 Moves Will Give Your Glutes the Workout They Deserve

Why Your Flexibility Stalls

As though going through puberty weren’t enough of a struggle, it’s also the time when you start to lose your natural flexibility. “No one is more flexible in their life than they are as a child,” says Dr. Leython Williams, a doctor of physical therapy at Athletico Physical Therapy. “However, during puberty, children often become temporarily less flexible. Some children have slow growth spurts, while others grow very quickly. This temporary decrease in muscle length/flexibility is a result of their bones growing faster than their muscles and tendons can stretch.”

Note that Dr. Williams refers to this particular loss of flexibility as temporary — meaning we can’t blame puberty for the fact our toes seem to be getting farther away every time we try to touch them.

“There is no specific age when we wake up and our flexibility has ‘officially declined.’ However, it is a fact that as we age our flexibility decreases, which leads to decreased functional ability and mobility,” he explains. “As our bodies get older, we lose a small amount of flexibility as a result of the normal aging processes. There is loss of water in our tissues and intervertebral discs, increased stiffness in our joints, and a loss of elasticity in muscles and tendons. In our 20s and 30s, it is important that we develop a consistent static and dynamic stretching regimen to establish and maintain flexibility and range of motion more easily into our older years.”

That’s right: What you do now matters later. And this isn’t just about keeping up in yoga, Dr. Williams cautions. “It becomes imperative that we stretch regularly to decrease our likelihood of various injuries.” Jill Belland, co-founder of Barre Belle, agrees. “It’s easy to feel invincible if you’re young and injury free! Flexibility will reduce your risk of injury: What doesn’t bend will break. Increased range of motion, balance, and mobility are all linked to flexibility and contribute to overall strength and fitness.”

How to Get It Back

When you’re a kid, flexibility comes naturally; when you’re an adult, you have to take responsibility for improving and maintaining it. “Peak flexibility age for adults can differ person to person and depends largely on their physical activity habits,” says Dr. Rachelle Reed, PhD, Pure Barre’s manager of training development and barre kinesiologist. “Notably, flexibility can be improved at any age when flexibility training is incorporated into a regular exercise routine. It’s important for adults to be strategic about including flexibility training into their workouts, because maintaining flexibility and physical function as we move into middle and older adulthood is associated with better quality of life and independent living.”

There’s no one flexibility standard everyone has to meet, Belland reassures: “There is no golden rule for what perfect flexibility is person to person, but there are simple markers such as touching your toes from a forward fold for hamstrings/lower back, or reaching for your hands behind your back, with one hand behind the head and the other behind the waist, for shoulder mobility. You don’t need to be a contortionist; moving around with fluidity in your everyday life and having good range of motion in your favorite activities without feeling pain or tension is a better way to gauge your own personal goals.”

But where do you start if you want to improve your flexibility? Dr. Reed explains, “There are two main types of flexibility training that you should aim to incorporate into your routine: Dynamic stretching, where a stretch is performed by moving through a challenging but attainable range of motion several times in a row, and static stretching, where a stretch is held in a challenging but attainable position for a longer period of time (at least 10-30 seconds).”

How do you know how far to go? “Our muscles have a natural stretch reflex that prevents us from going too far into a stretch, which can also cause injury,” Belland tells us. “Aim to gently stretch through this reflex. The key to increasing flexibility is about time under tension: It takes around 20 seconds to ease through the stretch reflex. Reintroduce the stretch and hold it for 10 seconds longer, working up to one minute. The second time you introduce a stretch, the stretch reflex will diminish, allowing your body to get deeper into your stretch and also building better muscle memory.”

If you’re still worried about injuring yourself — especially if you’ve been injured in the past — Dr. Williams recommends seeing a physical therapist for guided stretches. Belland reminds us that you don’t have to go to the gym or spend hours on stretching. “Stretch a little bit every day when you can fit it in after a workout or in front of the TV. If you just don’t think you’ll stretch on your own, getting to a yoga or a barre class is helpful if you need the accountability of a dedicated time and space.”

Speaking of the gym, just as your phys ed teacher told you, stretching is especially important before and after a workout. “Far too often active individuals begin their workouts without a dynamic stretch,” Dr. Williams says. “Dynamic stretching increases one’s range of movement and blood flow to soft tissues prior to physical exertion and/or sport performance. This type of stretching is vital in improving performance and reducing the risk for injury.”

But you don’t have to be an athlete to benefit — in fact, stretching is an important antidote to all that sitting those of us with desk-based jobs tend to do. “Sitting at your desk all day can lead to decreased flexibility in hip flexors and hamstrings by keeping them in a shortened position for a prolonged period of time,” Dr. Williams warns. “Consider a standing desk or work station or taking several breaks throughout your work day to stand up and stretch.”

Wellness is an umbrella term — it looks and feels different to each individual person. Despite the fact that I just named five exercises I attempt to partake in weekly — life gets busy! — I really try to branch out of my usual workouts, due to both the need for a challenge and a general interest in looking for new ways to move my body. What are my most recent exercise acquisitions? Breakdancing, hot yoga, and, well, getting TORCH’D. Goop booked us with celebrity trainer, Isaac Boots, to add the last workout to that list.

Boots has a long roster of celeb clients: Vanessa Hudgens, Kelly Ripa, Jessica Chastain, Gwenyth Paltrow (of course!) and more. I’ve always been a bit envious of how the celebrities of today are able to build at-home gyms and call for private sessions in a flash. Yet, beyond the affordability aspect, I’ve been more curious on how they become so fit — diet and personal chefs aside — with such busy schedules.

I found out in the Bahamas. And the workout is not as easy as it looks.

Boots first created virtual at-home sessions to teach TORCH’D classes during the pandemic, with the main premise of the workout focusing on the flow of body resistance, dance conditioning, and targeted repetition with the intention of burning fat. We — the other gal pal journalists and influencers on the trip — were set to complete two morning classes, both Saturday and Sunday. I, unfortunately, missed my connecting flight on Friday and wasn’t able to make it to the Saturday class due to a series of unfortunate travel events (let’s not rehash it, for my sake). But, after talking to the girls who were able to attend that morning session, it seems that the only thing I missed was waking up really sore on Sunday. My quads thanked me for that missed flight.

Group fitness is also something I’ve gotten used to over the years, especially when moving to LA where it's common practice, but going into workouts that I’ve never done before is intimidating. Exercising in front of others, especially when you aren’t familiar with the form of exercise, can be a particularly vulnerable activity.

Therefore, before attending the 45-minute TORCH’D session, I searched for the workouts online to study them a little. I’ll admit, I didn’t think they looked that difficult. But boy, was I absolutely proved wrong. Keep in mind that the Sunday session was outdoors, and although on a shaded rooftop with a stunning ocean view, the Bahamas was in the middle of a heat wave. I already didn’t stand a chance against my already innately sweaty and red-faced self during any form of physical movement.

Boots started the music — an upbeat, EDM like tune — to get us moving to the rhythm.

We began with small movements like arm circles and donkey kicks, pulsed for a bit, and then went ‘double time’ (AKA we picked up our speed). Those rotations would continue throughout the workout. It was during the pulsing portions of the workout where I really felt it target my biceps, triceps, and glutes. A burning sensation formed in my upper arms and legs several times, making it hard to keep going. There were a few instances when I had to take a quick break to get back into it. It was during those breaks when I noticed I wasn’t the only one taking a breather.

As I’ve grown sick of my mundane daily gym routine, I’ve noticed that having fun while I workout is a priority. Boots’ liveliness and charisma matched with his eagerness to teach really helped me get out of my own head (I have the tendency to become frustrated and want to quit during certain moves.)

I now understand now how a lot of celeb women — like Gwenyth — exercise with time constraints. Workouts like Torch'd are simple and tough, but effective at toning all the right places. While I would 10/10 recommend this class to anyone, I (and my sore muscles) definitely encourage you to take a rest day (or two) afterwards. 😉

1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

It's impossible to know how someone feels every second of the day, but we probably all think we have a good understanding of the people we're close to. But people are capable of hiding how they feel about something or burying their discomfort until certain situations 'expose' them. Why does it seem like money has a way of doing this?

Both Irwin and Dunlap agree that "money is taboo," leading people to avoid conversations about it. "Data tells us that we are more likely to talk about any other taboo topic—sex, politics, religion, even death—before we’ll talk about money," says Dunlap. West agrees and says, "Money is like that one friend who’s incredibly helpful but totally untrustworthy—everyone likes what they bring to the table, but no one wants to talk about them directly." Did you think of someone specific? It's okay because I did too!

The problem is that money can make "hidden insecurities come out, old sibling rivalries rear their heads," and more, according to West. "Even something like 'who paid for what' can suddenly become a life-or death conversation," she says. It's strange because Irwin says a Wells Fargo study shows that "many Americans across all ages are worried about money," proving we're all thinking about it, despite our avoidance issues.

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

"When we don’t have open conversations about money, we’re left to navigate it on our own, which can keep us feeling underpaid, overworked, or unsure about our financial situation," Dunlap points out. She feels "discussing money requires a huge amount of vulnerability" which "isn't easy for everyone." You may have seen how other topics are swept under the rug by family members or friends based on reasons they're not ready to talk about.

Though Irwin believes saying something like saying, "'Here's what's keeping me up at night' or 'here's what my goals are' could strengthen connections," Dunlap knows that "shame, comparison, or fear of judgement" can cause people to remain tight-lipped about their finances.

If you've experienced a weird moment because of money or had to be the unfortunate witness of an awkward conversation, my apologies. It's not fun no matter who's involved because, unfortunately, "money carries layers of emotions, like pride and insecurity, that turn simple conversations into potential minefields," says West.

Dunlap says there's a silver lining if people are willing to be open, however. "The key is respecting each person’s comfort level, and encouraging openness if they're willing to meet you there. It’s not going to be perfect at first, but by starting to share more about your own financial experiences, you can start to break the cycle of shame and fear around money. You might be surprised at how quickly others are willing to open up too."

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

No one's saying you should never lend friends money, but being mindful about the decision is worth noting. West feels "it's complicated" while Dunlap believes the issue "can be tricky." There's a chance a low-key loan becomes an expectation that you should dish out money every time someone needs help, even if you're trying to maintain your own bills. "Lending money to a friend is like sharing your Netflix password—simple in theory, but one wrong move, and things get weird," West forewarns.

Dunlap also says, "When you lend money to someone close to you, there's always the chance that you won’t get it back. You want to be mentally prepared for that! Otherwise, it can strain your finances and your relationship. The emotional toll can be just as heavy, as unpaid loans can lead to resentment or awkwardness." It's not unusual to hear about certain friends being unreliable in more ways than one after you've let them borrow something. Unfortunately, Irwin indicates this happens because some people "don't expect to give something back that they've borrowed."

Because of this, Dunlap thinks "it's best to avoid loans if possible." Should you decide to move forward with helping out a friend who's in a bind, make sure you're both in agreement about repayment and what to expect moving forward. West says "having clear terms" or "gifting a small amount if you can afford it" is like "buying their friendship insurance." The latter is something Dunlap agrees with because it "helps prevent resentment if they can't pay you back as planned." Plus, she feels it also "keeps the loan within an amount you're okay with potentially losing."

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

It's amazing how money can lead to a friendship breakup if boundaries aren't created or respected. "Money is a sneaky little devil who can push everyone’s buttons. It can cause resentment if one person feels taken advantage of or someone’s 'casual loan' becomes an epic saga of unpaid IOUs," West says. Not only that, but Dunlap knows "money can strain relationships between friends and family by highlighting differences in how we value it, expect to use it, or feel about sharing it."

Friends and family members shouldn't take each other's kindness for granted, but human nature is fickle at times. That's not an indicator that someone you love is a "bad" person, but they may feel like you owe them your time and money. However, Irwin says this isn't "de facto that that person is entitled." Still, Dunlap is more than aware how this can play out. "For example, it can lead to resentment if one person is always the one picking up the tab, while another might feel uncomfortable or indebted because they’ve been helped financially," she says.

On the other hand, it can show up a little differently in families. She adds, "Issues like unequal inheritance or constant requests for financial help can lead to deep emotional tension. Money can also become a tool for power imbalances, where one person feels in control and the other feels dependent, and that can mess with trust and respect."

When certain negative patterns show up in relationships, it can make people decide to take a step back from being available. "And once distrust settles in, it’s hard to shake; nobody wants to be 'that friend' who’s forever dodging a Venmo request or getting side-eye from relatives at every family BBQ," West points out. How many times have you built up a wall with the people you love because of repeated unreliability or the expectation that you're supposed to help them whenever they ask? If you didn't hesitate to think of a moment, you're living proof that distrust can affect even the closest relationships.

Dunlap says, "When money becomes a main factor in a relationship, it can overshadow the connection, making it difficult to maintain genuine trust and understanding. You can avoid this by having open conversations with friends and family about your financial situation. Clear communication can help keep the focus on the relationship, not the money."

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

Worrying about how other people feel can keep us from setting boundaries. There's a difference between being an empath and a people pleaser, but it's easy to blur the lines. You can absolutely empathize with someone's hardship while knowing you're not in the position to lend the amount they may be looking for. I'm a huge fan of saying that two things can be true at once — because they can.

Irwin says you need to "address the conversation head on" if a friend does ask you for a loan. Your response may depend on if their ask was "emotionally-charged or "in an uncomfortable environment," but Irwin doesn't recommend ignoring it. If you're not in the space to respond, here's what she suggests saying in a "timely" fashion:

1. "Hey, I need time to think about this. Let me get back to you."
2. "We can help you, but here are our boundaries."
3. "We see and understand you, but we're unable to help because we're trying to pay off debt or save for _______."

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

Don't think you need to create financial boundaries for yourself and your friends? Think again. West says, "Establishing some ground rules is a lifesaver—think of it adding airbags to the friendship. Setting boundaries early on, like when you’re still in the happy, non-monetary part of the relationship, can protect both sides if things get sticky."

Here's how she advises you proceed with creating boundaries:

1. Keep it light and be honest; you’re not making a prenuptial agreement here, just letting them know you’d like to avoid “financial fireworks” later.
2. Say, “I’m your friend, not your ATM.” It’s funny but helps set the tone that your wallet isn’t a free-for-all.
3. Set a gift cap, such as, "I'm happy to chip in for brunch or a birthday, but let’s not get into home-loan territory.”
4. If you do lend, draw up a repayment plan. Think of it as adulting with a side of accountability to avoid “accidentally” becoming their financial fairy godmother.
5. Limit talk of big financial choices unless you’re genuinely invested together. After all, nobody needs to know how much their friend spends on avocado toast or scented candles, let alone home renos.
6. A little humor and some boundaries go a long way. You’ll save yourself a lot of awkwardness and keep the friendships intact, one “non-loaned” dollar at a time!

Tori says, "It's so important to have transparent conversations about money, set clear boundaries, and ensure that relationships are prioritized in any money exchange." Here are a few things you can try:

1. Communicate about your budget with a “gratitude sandwich.” Say you’re invited to an outing—a dinner, or a sports game—that isn’t within your budget right now. You can respond with the “gratitude sandwich.” The “pieces of bread” are positive, and the “meat” is the money thing you’re scared to say. Thank that person for the invite, let them know it’s not within budget right now, and then offer a cheaper alternative, reassuring them that you’d really love to see them. Offering an alternative reminds that person that declining their invitation isn’t about them, and you still care about them. In doing so, you prioritize your budget AND your relationship in the process.When in doubt, remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t need to overcomplicate things, and sometimes a simple “no” is all you need.
2. Set expectations early. When planning trips with friends, discuss the budget and how costs will be split upfront. Having these conversations ensures that everyone is on the same page and helps avoid any misunderstandings. It creates a supportive, stress-free environment where everyone can enjoy the experience together without any added worries!

The Final Verdict:

Once you've weighed your options and considered what you need, you can decide to loan your friend money. However, Irwin wants you to consider being formal about it. "You can absolutely draft a promissory note or loan agreement so that your friend knows how serious you are about your boundaries. If you want, you can also put an interest rate on it," she says.

It's not to hurt your friend's feelings, but it is a boundary you can put in place so they think to themselves, "This is truly a loan because I'm borrowing money with the intent to pay it back," Irwin says. It could change the dynamics of your friendship, but it's more about being "purposeful about the language being used" so you and your friend can both move in the "right direction," according to Irwin.

If the idea of creating a 'loan agreement' sounds icky to you, Dunlap wants you to seriously consider it as "an extra bit of protection." She says all you need to do, again, is "try setting up a simple contract to outline repayment terms" because it "can help both of you stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings down the road."

Her ultimate piece of advice? "Only lend what you're comfortable giving and potentially losing, and keep open communication to maintain trust and respect in the relationship."