5 Creative Ways to Banish Bad Vibes Forever

Feeling bad vibes can ruin pretty much anything, be it an important presentation, a date with an online crush, or even your efforts to invite a little more luck into your life this year. While you can’t always control whether or not you’re stuck near a Debbie Downer or a Negative Nancy (the worst!), you can definitely keep what *you* project in check, helping bring a refreshing dose of positivity to yourself and everyone around you. To get the deets on how to do it, we chatted up Tory Dube, a holistic nutritional specialist, certified life coach, and hypnotherapist. Read on for her top five feel-good tips and you’ll be ready to banish bad vibes forever.

1. Declare your willingness. According to Dube, there are three key steps to making any change, big or small. Whether you want to completely overhaul your life or simply change your mind for a minute, you’ll need to go through a cycle of “willingness, to awareness, to making an informed choice. Willingness is the essential element where you surrender and actually allow space for movement. Without this softening, nothing is actually going to budge.” In order to rid yourself of bad vibes forever, she says you must declare your willingness to allow it to happen. Not sure how? “Write it out, speak it aloud, share with a friend. Solidify it in your psyche so you can hold yourself accountable.” Boom.

2. Get cozy in your “ecosystem.” “Everything that you come into contact with (food, conversations, relationships, your work environment, social media) is metabolized by you and affects your reality moving forward,” Dube says. She uses a soup analogy and says, “All of these outside forces are essentially ingredients [in] your ‘You Stew.’ Once added to the mix, they affect the state of the whole.” She says to think about this idea like the ecosystems you learned about in high school biology — it’s the same exact system of living and breathing parts that contribute to your health and happiness of the whole. Once you learn how to build your perfect ecosystem, Dube swears that you’ll be well on your way to purge bad vibes from your life forever.

3. Create a tool box. We share the world with more than seven million humans, and sometimes, no matter what, we can’t actually curate every moment of our lives. “It’s not always possible to avoid bad vibes and, most likely, you’re going to create some stinky vibes yourself some days,” Dube says. The main difference is your ability to deal and power through. “When I say ‘tools’ in your toolbox, I mean tried and tested techniques or actions that can help you change your perspective from lack to love,” she explains. “We’re all different and require different approaches, but the trick is learning and implementing what works for YOU.” To begin creating your toolbox, Dube suggests coming up with a list of at least 25 tactics to try when things don’t go as you hoped or planned. Talk about a solid start!

4. Incorporate conscious living rituals. “If your toolbox is for ‘sick visits,’ consider [adding some] conscious living rituals to be like preventative care for your vibes,” Dube says. “Basically, these are little moments throughout the day where you consciously do something positive for yourself.” Practicing this will help you maintain good vibes and slowly strengthen your “living-in-the-present muscles.” Get started right now by adding a conscious living ritual to your morning before fully starting your day. “This could be breath work, meditation, prayer, a dance party, a nourishing breakfast without television or your cell phone — whatever feels best to you,” she says. Next, incorporate other little rituals throughout the day, like eating lunch alone in the sun or writing down things you’re thankful for at night. “Your goal is to work up to a fully conscious day,” she says.

5. Vow to celebrate *something* every day. “You’ve gotta pick yourself for your own team,” Dube says, adding that she sees tons of people who set themselves up for failure by measuring daily success against impossible goals or metrics. “Instead of measuring your self-worth by whether you stuck to your diet, got a raise, published that blog post or had a good date, shift your measurement system!” Good alternate focus might be whether you lived in alignment with your values, used your authentic voice, or practiced kindness and patience all day. To take it a step further, Dube says she loves to celebrate a single mini success. “The celebration can include a candle lighting, a slow dance with your partner, a nourishing dinner, a high kick — you get to pick!” She tells us that adding a physical component to the emotional process solidifies the victory within your psyche, encouraging even more positive vibes.

How do you stay positive? Share your negative vibe ditching tricks with us on Twitter @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

The perks of having an older sister means I've been able to ask her all my more embarrassing questionsgrowing up. My whole life, we've chatted about everything from periods to sex to giving birth. Then one day, right before I graduated high school, she gifted me a book that changed everything: Nancy Redd's Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers. It not only helped me understand my body more, but it also helped soothe some of the insecurity I had before my postpartum body developed into what it is today.

I eventually gifted Body Drama to someone else, but I never forgot about how beneficial it was, and I always thought there should be more work like it out in the world. As it turns out, Nancy Redd wasn't done normalizing bodies and questions bout sexual health — the author and Wirecutter journalist just released The Real Body Manual: Your Visual Guide to Health & Wellness! Not only is it a great resource for those who are looking for answers to more specific health questions, but it's something I continue to revisit on the days my insecurity dampens my mood!

I chatted with Redd to understand more about her work — and I came out understanding even more about myself and how I want to help raise the future generation.

The Difference Between 'Body Drama' And 'The Real Body Manual'

Amazon

If you've had the pleasure of sticking your nose in Nancy Redd's Body Drama, you're familiar with how well-researched and thorough it is. In that regard, The Real Body Manual is no different — but Redd highlights it's still a "totally different book." She says, "The world has changed dramatically, and we're talking so much more about bodies, and we see a lot more bodies."

Despite seeing all those "real" bodies on TV and otherwise, women — and people in general — still don't feel great about themselves. According to a 2022 study, 32% of teens had a negative opinion about their acne, while 31% weren't comfortable with their weight. Meanwhile, another study shows that 80% of women have referred to themselves as "fat."

To combat troubling statistics like those, Redd hopesThe Real Body Manual can help. "I think we're all operating with not enough information about the world we live in, and I think the more information we can receive in a safe, educated, medically-accurate space, the better," she explains.

Centre for Ageing Better

Redd also really wanted to write a book that taught both her son and her daughter about their changing bodies — and she feels this is the perfect time for everyone to come together and learn about the way bodies not only look, but function. She likens these lessons to learning about world geography. "We don't just need to know about the small town we live in. We need to know about the state, country, the world-at-large," she stresses. And she thinks The Real Body Manual can help you "learn about your own body, your friends, and the people in society you live with."

If you look at the group of friends I have today, everyone doesn't have the same body shame. One of my friends is a little taller and curvier than I am while another is shorter and rounder. I dealt with acne-prone skin and dark spots while my best friend Cookie didn't really struggle with that. It's honestly rare that everyone will look the same — and that's okay! But learning about what's going on with all of us helps bridge our experiential gaps and creates better shared understanding.

And with that in mind, here are the 4 things I learned about my body — and all bodies — when chatting with Nancy and reading The Real Body Manual.

1. Understanding Your Body Doesn't Have To Look Like Everyone Else's

MART PRODUCTION

I grew up during a time where certain body types were celebrated more than others in media, and it had a negative effect on how I perceived my own body. I believed I wasn't supposed to have stretch marks because video vixens didn't, and became horrified when I discovered them in middle school as a slender girl. Not only that, but I didn't really develop curves until after I gave birth which made me feel like an outlier in my community.

Recent studies found there's a link between teens aged 16-18 years old developing body dysmorphia and social media...which doesn't sound surprising. And while there are countless body positive accounts that also exist — and I really do promise I'm not saying to completely ditch your socials — sometimes you have to take a step away from it (and other influencers) if it's having a negative impact on your self-esteem.

"Some bodies naturally look like those in music videos. I think separating that from being able to find love or have purpose in your life — they're completely separate things," Redd insists. She breaks things down even further by explaining why you not looking a certain way doesn't discount you from enjoying life. "Some people are born with the ability to be tennis stars, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up a tennis racket because you're not Serena Williams."

The main point she drives home is that "every person can have a great time with their bodies" which is why The Real Body Manual reads like an encouraging, evidence-based love letter to readers.

2. Loving Yourself Is A Choice

Anna Tarazevich

Just like I had to make the decision to fully accept the body I have, it's something Nancy says everyone has the ability to do. "It's literally a choice," she says before one of her kids quickly pops into our convo. In a tender moment, she asks her child, "Hello, do you love your body?"

This brief encounter circles back to the reason why The Real Body Manual matters — it opens up these conversations with our kids, offering a tangible resource for others. I know I try to have more conversations like this with my son, and I've even encouraged him to hug himself when he needs a little dose of self love.

"The things that matter — having purpose in life, feeling love, being a good community member — don't have much to do with whether you have hyperpigmentation, freckles, cellulite, etc.," she says. "The more you know from the beginning of your journey that bodies look different, the easier it is for you to accept [yourself]. But if the only bodies you're seeing are sexualized in pornography, videos, and magazines, you don't have a real basis."

It's one of the biggest reasons she intended for The Real Body Manual to be a visual guide.

3. Your Naked Body Is Beautiful

cottonbro studio

"I really like showing people what the body actually looks like for the most part," Redd says. Yeah, that's right — The Real Body Manual features real people's bodies, not just illustrations. In doing so, she says, "Everyone can see someone who resembles them." It doesn't matter if you're heavy-set, a person with different sized breasts, or anything in-between. The point is that you'll be able to find yourself somewhere in The Real Body Manual.

My mother told me how little information her own mom shared with her about bodies. Because of that, my mom always stressed that she wanted my sister and I to have access to whatever information we needed. She wanted us to be informed, and never inhibited by her own lack of comfort over a topic. But not all parents feel comfortable sharing with their kids.

Redd says, "I don't think it was done with malice. I think people are just working with whatever they have which is not a lot." She further notes people have chosen to refer to genitals as "down there" for both men and women instead of saying the proper term for them for their autonomy. I'll be honest — growing up in a religious background often means sexual shame was attached to very normal things like breasts and penises.

Not everyone was on board with me telling my toddler he has a penis instead of saying "pee pee" — or not talking about it at all, if we're being honest. But I wanted him to feel comfortable with what he was born with, and to know that his dad having the same anatomy is normal. "We just don't use the proper names for things which increases this shroud of secrecy about it. We aren't taught health literacy," Redd says.

4. 'The Real Body Manual' Is A Must-Have For Pre-Teens, Teens, And Adults

Yan Krukau

Funnily enough, Redd informs me that October is actually Health Literacy Month, making all this really round out. We should know what's going on with our bodies, whether it's the proper terminology, what changes we're going through, what we can look like. Ignorance only makes our experiences more confusing and harder — especially when we're young and probably have a million different questions.

She explains that if you ask people specifics like 'How does a period work,' then they may not know the answer. "The same goes for if you ask what's the difference between a freckle and a mole," Redd explains. "It may not seem like these things are a big deal, but when something goes wrong, you need to know 'I need to get this thing checked out.'"

Information is power, and when armed with information about our bodies we can lead safer, healthier lives. Instead of wondering why we don't talk about things enough, Redd decided to take the bull by the horns and talk about them — and she thinks you should talk about them, even (and sometimes especially) when they're uncomfortable. She says, "Any time you feel shame or discomfort discussing your body, that's a sign you don't have enough information."

If you find yourself unable to ask other people questions, but want to start feeling comfortable in your body, I highly recommend that you read both Body Drama and The Real Body Manual because they're equipped with detailed explanations — and helpful imagery — about how bodies actually look, work, and feel.

Buy 'The Real Body Manual' Here!

Amazon

The Real Body Manual

Looking for more incredible books to read right now? Check out our fave new reads here!

We've been talking about discovering the best drugstore mascaras, matte lipsticks and brow gels, but did you know you're supposed to replace your makeup products annually? This is one of those things TikTok gets right because beauty doesn't have an immortal shelf life. If you're getting the ick thinking about that trusty concealer you've used the last few years, we don't blame you!

Before you start rage or panic-cleaning, I chatted with the experts to understand what to replace — and when you should replace them! After hearing from Shawnelle Prestidge (Makeup Artist and Founder/CEO of PRESTIDGE beauté) and Joey Healy(Advanced Esthetican and Founder of Joey Healy Eyebrow Collection), I feel way more confident with my beauty cabinet. Here's what you need to know!

TL;DR

  • You can find a product's PAO (period after opening) date — AKA expiration date — on the back of the packaging.
  • Mascaras and eyeliners have the shortest shelf lives, and they should be replaced around every 3 months.
  • Foundation and concealers should be replaced once a year.
  • Lipsticks can be replaced once a year, but lip glosses can last up to 18 months.
  • Powder-based products can last a year and a half to two years.
  • Nail polishes are good for up to three years.
  • Fragrances start to break down after five years.

How can someone check the expiration date for their makeup?

Rachel Weeks

How many times have you picked up your order from Sephora or Ulta without looking at every detail of your makeup products? We're guilty of being more concerned about adding something to our routine too so don't feel like you're being called out! If you're not 100% sure how to start being mindful about something's shelf life, Prestidge and Healy want to let you in on a little secret.

"It's actually pretty simple. There's something called a PAO symbol, which stands for 'period after opening.' You'll find it on the exterior of makeup products — sometimes on the product itself but always on the box," he says. Wondering what it looks like? Healy says, "The PAO symbol looks like a small jar with a number followed by the letter 'M,' which stands for months. For example, '3M' means three months, '6M' means six months, and '12M' means twelve months."

Prestidge also adds, "Brands often print batch codes that consumers can input into websites like CheckCosmetic to determine the production date." If you've yet to open your product, Healy says "A good rule of thumb is to assume it will last about twice as long. So, if the PAO says '6M,' the product is good for six months after opening and likely up to twelve months if unopened."

Do some makeup products have a longer shelf life than others?

Tima Miroshnichenko

Based on what Healy shares, it's evident different makeup products have longer shelf lives than others, and there are plenty of different factors that determine why. "Products like mascara and eyeliner, which are used around the eyes and tend to be liquids or creams, typically have the shortest shelf life due to their risk of bacterial growth. You should replace them every three months," he says. Excuse us while we collectively clutch our pearls.

Now that we've caught our breath, we can breathe a sigh of relief because Healy says that's the only products we have to replace a little quicker. "Foundation and concealer, which are also liquids, can usually last up to a year. Lipstick is good for about a year, while lip gloss can last around 18 months," he shares. Still, Prestidge feels you should be especially mindful of liquid and cream products because their shorter lifespans are attributed to "their high water content which fosters bacteria."

For those of us who love other face products, we have an even longer time to replace them. "Powders, like brow powders, bronzers, and blushes, have a much longer shelf life — usually a year and a half to two years," Healy explains. Prestidge says this is because "they contain fewer ingredients prone to bacterial growth." And for good measure, Healy shares we can keep nail polish for "three years before it becomes dry and clumpy," and fragrances for "five years before they start to break down."

What are the top signs it's time to replace makeup?

Element5 Digital

Not always good at keeping track of when you bought your makeup? No worries — there are some key signs you can recognize that your makeup is likely expired. Healy points out you'll be able to see that "the formula may have shifted or separated, or the product may have dried." More often than not, both he and Prestidge agree expired products will often smell rancid. "For example, brow gel can smell musty if it's been sitting unused for a year. If you're unsure, it's better to throw it out," encourages Healy.

Not only that, but Prestidge says to pay attention to your product's color. "If the product's color shifts, it's a a sign it's degraded," she says. Also, your skin will let you know when expired products are irritating it. "If you notice itching, redness, or breakouts after using a product, it might be expired, she alerts.

To avoid this, go an extra step further by using a "label maker to note the purchase date on your products, or keep a record in your phone," suggests Healy. This will help lessen the chance you're using something that's full of harmful bacteria.

What can happen if someone keeps using expired makeup?

Polina Tankilevitch

There are some things we'd love for you to be rebellious about, but using old makeup isn't one of them. Healy feels the same way and says, "Using expired makeup increases your risk of infection and irritation, which can lead to unsanitary conditions and even bacterial contamination."

The last thing we want is for you to get sick because you didn't want to let go of something. While symptoms may not always be as severe — Prestige says you could see allergic reactions, redness, or acne — Healy reminds us that "at the worst, it could result in serious infections that require treatment." This could look like developing styes or pink eye if you're "using old mascara or eyeliner," according to Prestidge.

Plus, your makeup won't give you the look you're going for if it's expired. "Expired products may no longer perform as intended, compromising coverage, color, or longevity," she says. Healy's ultimate advice? "Always be cautious, check for the PAO symbol, and replace products when needed."

Beauty Products You Need To Replace Every 3 Months

Amazon

Lancôme Lash Idôle Volumizing Mascara

If you're going to replace your mascara, you need a comparable alternative that's going to give your lashes the length and volume you're used to having. Be sure to add this one to your cart today!

Amazon

Urban Decay Glide-On Eye Pencil

Knowing that eyeliners go near your precious eyes, you'll want something that has a waterproof and smudge-proof formula like Urban Decay's Glide-On Pencil. You'll get up to 24 hours of wear that'll make you glad you decided to go for this option.

Beauty Products To Replace Every One To Two Years

Amazon

ILIA True Skin Serum Foundation

If you're going to wear foundation, you should opt for something that feels like your skin. The medium coverage feels weightless and has a good dose of niacinamide and allantoin in it to help improve your texture over time.

Amazon

e.l.f. Hydrating Camo Concealer

Get all the benefits of a high quality concealer without the luxury price with this $7 formula. It's hydrating so you're less likely to experience any creasing when you're trying to set it with your favorite powder.

Amazon

Revlon ColorStay Suede Ink Lipstick

Give those lips a boost of color with Revlon's ColorStay Suede Ink Lipstick! You're going to get the best wear out of this no-transfer shade that has powerful pigment that doesn't cost more than $15.

Amazon

NYX Professional Makeup Fat Lip Oil

Want juicy lips that don't feel sticky? You have to get this fat lip oil. You'll get up to 12 hours of wear that doesn't require you to reapply it which sounds like the very thing we could all use.

Amazon

IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Pressed Powder

Headed to an event and want an airbrushed look that makes jaws drop? You'll be hard-pressed not to have this pancake-type powder. It visibly minimizes your pores while also soaking up excess oils.

Amazon

Physician's Formula Butter Bronzer

This yummy bronzer had us at hypoallergenic. It's going to give you a sun-kissed glow that'll make people wonder if you've been vacationing during colder months, but you don't have to share your inexpensive secret if you don't want to.

Amazon

Covergirl Trublend So Flushed Blush

You need a blush that's going to work with your makeup and not against it. Instead of spending a fortune on something you're not sure will work, give Covergirl's Trublend product a spin. You'll get amazing pigment that lasts throughout the day and won't irritate your skin.

Browse our Amazon Storefront for more fun beauty buys!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Navigating adulthood as an eldest daughter can be tough. While you’re not a child in your parents’ home anymore, the dynamics you grew up with can still follow. Think about it: how often do you find yourself trying to solve everyone else’s problems while continuously trying to shoulder your own alone? If this resonates with you at all, you may be dealing with Eldest Daughter Syndrome.

To understand what this actually looks like beyond the TikTok therapy speak of it all, I talked to a licensed therapist, Briana Paruolo, LCMHC. As the founder of On Par Therapy — a practice that specializes in “burnout, disordered eating, and self-worth” that seeks to “empower high achieving women” — she comes across a lot of clients dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Here’s what Paruolo has to say!


TL;DR

  • Eldest daughter syndrome isn't in the DSM-5, but that doesn't make the experiences of eldest daughters any less real.
  • Eldest daughter syndrome can look like intense perfectionism, unrealistic high standards, an inability to delegate, and an innate need to prioritize the needs of others first.
  • Eldest daughters can heal by validating their experiences, understanding their self-worth, and setting clear boundaries with themselves and others — especially by just saying "no" sometimes.

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

cottonbro studio

While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Pavel Danilyuk

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

Netflix

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Any Lane

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

jasmin chew

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

Elina Fairytale

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉

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It’s no secret that I’m a long-standing Trader Joe’s fan. Living walking-distance from my city’s most popular TJ’s store has only solidified my love for the quirky grocery chain, and though I adore their limited-time launches and playful seasonal snacks, there are a few Trader Joe's finds I can confidently crown as staples in my kitchen. These are the go-to’s I look forward to adding to my cart during every single TJ’s grocery run I make, all of which I’d truly feel lost without!

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's 100% Colombian Instant Coffee

Don’t judge – even this coffee snob drinks instant coffee! I am all about ease when it comes to my morning routine (it truly takes me hours to actually wake up), and Trader Joe’s 100% Colombian Instant Coffee is just the thing to help me expedite getting some good ol' caffeine into my system.

I love using instant coffee because I can prepare it differently based on my mood every single day. I can make a latte by mixing a serving with milk and syrup, or add more water to it to prep a more diluted hot (or iced) coffee that’s not as strong. After months of drinking it, I’ve found that TJ’s instant coffee is just as good-tasting and well-rounded as the espresso drinks or coffees I’d order out at any cafe.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Pure Grade A Maple Syrup

I use this Trader Joe’s maple syrup for a multitude of kitchen creations: coffees, protein smoothies, pancakes, mug cakes, and muffins are the most frequent syrup-infused recipes I eat on a weekly basis. You can even use it for some stellar maple cocktails!

I’m not necessarily picky when it comes to the grade of my maple syrup. As long as it’s sweet, I am into it. If you’re searching for a tasty and affordable Grade A maple syrup, I think this $5 bottle has an exceptional flavor with a nice touch of richness that makes it a perfect fit for most uses.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Unsweetened Non-Dairy Almond Beverage

Another versatile TJ’s product I pick up just about every time I go grocery shopping is their almond milk. I prefer using the unsweetened iteration so I can use it across various recipes. I’ll use it for my morning coffees, mid-day smoothies, cereal bowls, baking adventures, overnight oats, and wherever else it’s needed, really! I’ll even add a tiny splash to my scrambled eggs to keep ‘em moist. It’s perfectly smooth and light, and a true delight to always have in my fridge.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Coconut Cream Greek Nonfat Yogurt

I am a Greek yogurt girly through and through. It makes for a healthy, filling, protein-rich breakfast option that also helps me maintain a semblance of “gut health” amidst my afternoon snacking habits. But plain Greek yogurt is not nearly edible enough for my palate – that’s why I adore TJ’s coconut-flavored yogurt! It has a good amount of sweetness, plus it boasts a tiny bit of texture from coconut flakes. I typically pick up 2-3 cups on my grocery runs so I can enjoy it every other day during the week with granola and frozen berries.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Buttermilk Protein Pancake Mix

I like to prioritize protein in my diet because it keeps me feeling fuller for longer and helps me grow my muscles so I can grow in my yoga and climbing practices. When eating eggs and sausage for breakfast gets all too tiring, TJ’s Buttermilk Protein Pancake mix provides an ideal sweet option that still gives me 10+ grams of protein in a single sitting! It’s super easy to prepare, too. You just have to add a 1:1 ratio of pancake mix to water and make ‘em on the stovetop per usual. I like adding in some cinnamon to up the flavor.

I’ll also use it to make a mug cake when I feel like I need a little sweet treat in the evening – I add it to a mug with just enough water to make the batter extra thick, and then sprinkle some chocolate chips in it before throwing it in the microwave for about 2 minutes. It’s so yummy!

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Buffalo Chicken Dip

Oh, I could eat this entire dip in a single sitting. Buffalo anything is truly the key to my heart (and stomach). TJ’s Buffalo Chicken Dip is my go-to workday snack alongside some blue corn tortilla chips. It’s super satisfying (another great protein-rich option), creamy, tangy, spicy, and salty. All the things!

It’s packed with bits of chicken that can also make it a great addition for fuller meals beyond snack time: I’ve slathered some on a tortilla with cheese and cilantro for an easy quesadilla-type wrap, and even added a heaping scoop to plain pasta in lieu of traditional sauce.

Meredith Holser

Trader Joe's Palak Paneer

If you ride or die for Trader Joe’s, you know just how amazing their frozen section is. I was honestly really skeptical to try this frozen Indian dish the first time around, but once I had a taste, I was hooked. I make sure I have at least one in my freezer at all times to come to the rescue on nights I simply can’t bring myself to cook!

It takes about 4 minutes in the microwave to become a super creamy, comforting, healthy meal you can enjoy on its own or alongside some rice and naan (if you wish to go the extra mile). The paneer cooks out wonderfully. I am a chronic over-seasoner for any kind of food I eat, and I've found that adding a pinch of salt and a drizzle of TJ’s hot honey really takes this platter to the next level.

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My son randomly requested to watch Wednesday last month, and I was surprised at how invested we were in each episode. Those who grew up watching The Addams Family always seemed in awe of little Wednesday Addams' cunning and intuitive nature, so it's fun to see another generation fall in love with her. Since Halloween is next week, I have three last-minute DIY costumes if you want to dress up as the eldestAddams daughter — sans all the spooky things that took place at Nevermore Academy. 😉

1. Wednesday's Homecoming Dress

Netflix

Wednesday Addams caught everyone's eyes in this gorgeous black Tulle dress. I can't get it out of my mind, so that's why it's number one of my list of DIY Halloween ideas! I also think it's the easiest look to pull off because you don't need a lot of things!

Amazon

Black Wednesday Addams Dress

Wednesday never cared to follow the rules at Nevermore which is what made her unintentionally stand out. While the rest of the students were dressed in winter whites and pastel colors, Wednesday broke tradition by showing up in a tulle black dress that fit her personality. It's the very thing that made Xavier Thorpe do a double take even though he was supposed to be focused on Bianca Barclay.

Amazon

Black Closed-Toe Pumps

Complete your look with these black closed-toe pumps that fit Wednesday's personality! I suggest buying a pair of black tights in case you truly want to complete your look.

Amazon

Wet n Wild Breakup Proof Eyeliner

You're going to want to create the illusion of cat eyes with Wet n Wild's Breakup Proof Eyeliner. It's long-lasting and vegan so you'll get to wear something that doesn't harm your eyes.

2. Wednesday Addams' Nevermore Academy Uniform 

Amazon

Nevermore Academy Uniform

It's not 100% spot-on, but this is the closest you'll get to Wednesday's signature Nevermore Academy Uniform. Her take on the traditional wear was unlike what everyone at the school was used to seeing, but that was the point!

Amazon

Black Braided Wig

You'll definitely need Wednesday's signature braided hairstyle for this costume idea! It's one of those things that makes her look unassuming — even though we know she has that adorably dark, sadistic personality! 😉

Amazon

Thing Cosplay Hand

Make sure to carry your own version of Thing if you really want to give people a fright this halloween!

3. Traditional Wednesday Addams Costume

Hulton Archive

If you remember watching 1964 version ofThe Addams Family with your grandparents, you may be fond of Wednesday's more traditional look. Although newer versions haven't strayed far, true fans remember when her outfit was plain black button-up dress.

Amazon

Black Cosplay Dress

Skip the buttons and go for this black cosplay dress that comes with a pair of knee high socks, a Thing pin for your hair, 'poison' stickers, and a witchy necklace!

Amazon

Black Penny Loafers

Once you've slipped into your black dress and added your accessories, step into these penny loafers. They have a slightly chunky lug sole that'll make sure you're comfortable as you stalk your unsuspecting neighbors for the best candy.

If you need more last-minute ideas, we have so many fun DIY Halloween costumes, like Harley Quinn, Gilmore Girls, and couples costumes you can piece together in the next week!

Follow us on Pinterest for even more Halloween ideas!