8 Tips for Cultivating More Patience

You’ve heard that patience is a virtue, and that all good things take time, and that hard work pays off. These are all really nice sayings, but actually practicing patience day in and day out? In your relationships and on the job and with the changes you’re making to your lifestyle to feel healthier? Yeah, practicing it is harder.

If you’re like so many others, you probably find it difficult to be patient. Keep scrolling for eight tips on how to develop it as a habit in your own life.

1. Boost your empathy. Often, the struggle to be patient actually has to do with the other people involved in a given moment. With that in mind, eharmony chief of advice Jeannie Assimos suggests practicing more empathy. “Patience is all about reminding yourself that there are others to consider in all situations in life,” she tells us. “Take a step back, remove yourself from the situation for a moment, and put yourself in someone else’s shoes.”

2. Consider what’s really urgent. Sometimes, everything feels like it has to happen on a rush schedule. This world of ours moves really fast and there’s lots of pressure to keep up. Psychotherapist Beth Scarlett suggests that we slow down and home in on what’s actually urgent, versus what just feels that way. “I take the extra step of externalizing or personifying my impatience so I can argue with it,” Scarlett says. “‘Hey urgency, do you have a hot date or something? Slow your roll!’ This has the added bonus of helping me laugh at myself and not take things so seriously.”

3. Practice daily gratitude. According to marriage and family therapist and professional clinical counselor Allison Zamani, one of the major sources of impatience is a frustration with the goals that we still have yet to achieve. Fight that frustration by focusing on all of the things that are going well and all of the things that you’ve already accomplished. Spend a few minutes daily writing or reflecting on what you’re grateful for.

4. Respond before you react. If you can slow the pace and lower the intensity of your interactions with other people, you’ll be calmer and more patient in other aspects of your day. Learn to practice patience in your conversations and relationships. “Many times, we blurt out the first thought that goes through our mind, impulsively and impatiently,” wellness and healthy lifestyle expert Miriam Amselem says. “By taking a moment to think before speaking, you will respond instead of react.”

5. Adopt a meditation practice. Mindfulness can go a long way toward helping you cultivate patience. Psychotherapist Kristin Anderson encourages you to develop a consistent meditation routine, practice breathing exercises, and enjoy quiet moments when you might otherwise feel the urge to pick up your phone or watch TV.

6. Put the screen down. “One way to cultivate more patience is to put down your phone!” therapist and coach Tess Brigham tells us. “Our phones, and the ability to communicate more easily, have made us incredibly impatient.” As hard as it may be at first, resist the temptation to pull out your phone next time you’re standing in a line or waiting to meet a friend for a drink. When you retrain yourself to be alone with your thoughts, you’ll likely find that you’re able to dial up the patience in your life across the board.

7. Keep healthy distractions on hand. Yes, it is important to put down your phone, but there are healthy ways you can use your devices to temper your impatience if you can truly commit to steering clear of social media, texting, and other phone functions that fuel your need for instant gratification. Business coach and keynote speaker Lindsay Anvik recommends keeping productive distractions like interesting articles or podcasts easily available so you can direct your attention to something constructive if you’re feeling antsy.

8. Think about where your impatience comes from. Licensed professional counselor Sarah Lucas notes that impatience is often a symptom of another struggle that you’re having below the surface. Spend some time thinking about what’s really behind your tendency to be impatient so you can deal with it more directly. “It might be a sign that you’re overwhelmed by too many tasks, your timelines are too tight, or that you’re simply stressed,” Lucas says. “Once you identify the original culprit, you can tackle it head on. Taking something off your plate, setting more appropriate boundaries, and being more clear about expectations will help eliminate stress and leave more room for a clear mind.”

RELATED: 7 Ways to Improve Your Patience (So Your Toddler Doesn’t Drive You Bonkers)

(Photo credit Getty)

The perks of having an older sister means I've been able to ask her all my more embarrassing questionsgrowing up. My whole life, we've chatted about everything from periods to sex to giving birth. Then one day, right before I graduated high school, she gifted me a book that changed everything: Nancy Redd's Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers. It not only helped me understand my body more, but it also helped soothe some of the insecurity I had before my postpartum body developed into what it is today.

I eventually gifted Body Drama to someone else, but I never forgot about how beneficial it was, and I always thought there should be more work like it out in the world. As it turns out, Nancy Redd wasn't done normalizing bodies and questions bout sexual health — the author and Wirecutter journalist just released The Real Body Manual: Your Visual Guide to Health & Wellness! Not only is it a great resource for those who are looking for answers to more specific health questions, but it's something I continue to revisit on the days my insecurity dampens my mood!

I chatted with Redd to understand more about her work — and I came out understanding even more about myself and how I want to help raise the future generation.

The Difference Between 'Body Drama' And 'The Real Body Manual'

Amazon

If you've had the pleasure of sticking your nose in Nancy Redd's Body Drama, you're familiar with how well-researched and thorough it is. In that regard, The Real Body Manual is no different — but Redd highlights it's still a "totally different book." She says, "The world has changed dramatically, and we're talking so much more about bodies, and we see a lot more bodies."

Despite seeing all those "real" bodies on TV and otherwise, women — and people in general — still don't feel great about themselves. According to a 2022 study, 32% of teens had a negative opinion about their acne, while 31% weren't comfortable with their weight. Meanwhile, another study shows that 80% of women have referred to themselves as "fat."

To combat troubling statistics like those, Redd hopesThe Real Body Manual can help. "I think we're all operating with not enough information about the world we live in, and I think the more information we can receive in a safe, educated, medically-accurate space, the better," she explains.

Centre for Ageing Better

Redd also really wanted to write a book that taught both her son and her daughter about their changing bodies — and she feels this is the perfect time for everyone to come together and learn about the way bodies not only look, but function. She likens these lessons to learning about world geography. "We don't just need to know about the small town we live in. We need to know about the state, country, the world-at-large," she stresses. And she thinks The Real Body Manual can help you "learn about your own body, your friends, and the people in society you live with."

If you look at the group of friends I have today, everyone doesn't have the same body shame. One of my friends is a little taller and curvier than I am while another is shorter and rounder. I dealt with acne-prone skin and dark spots while my best friend Cookie didn't really struggle with that. It's honestly rare that everyone will look the same — and that's okay! But learning about what's going on with all of us helps bridge our experiential gaps and creates better shared understanding.

And with that in mind, here are the 4 things I learned about my body — and all bodies — when chatting with Nancy and reading The Real Body Manual.

1. Understanding Your Body Doesn't Have To Look Like Everyone Else's

MART PRODUCTION

I grew up during a time where certain body types were celebrated more than others in media, and it had a negative effect on how I perceived my own body. I believed I wasn't supposed to have stretch marks because video vixens didn't, and became horrified when I discovered them in middle school as a slender girl. Not only that, but I didn't really develop curves until after I gave birth which made me feel like an outlier in my community.

Recent studies found there's a link between teens aged 16-18 years old developing body dysmorphia and social media...which doesn't sound surprising. And while there are countless body positive accounts that also exist — and I really do promise I'm not saying to completely ditch your socials — sometimes you have to take a step away from it (and other influencers) if it's having a negative impact on your self-esteem.

"Some bodies naturally look like those in music videos. I think separating that from being able to find love or have purpose in your life — they're completely separate things," Redd insists. She breaks things down even further by explaining why you not looking a certain way doesn't discount you from enjoying life. "Some people are born with the ability to be tennis stars, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up a tennis racket because you're not Serena Williams."

The main point she drives home is that "every person can have a great time with their bodies" which is why The Real Body Manual reads like an encouraging, evidence-based love letter to readers.

2. Loving Yourself Is A Choice

Anna Tarazevich

Just like I had to make the decision to fully accept the body I have, it's something Nancy says everyone has the ability to do. "It's literally a choice," she says before one of her kids quickly pops into our convo. In a tender moment, she asks her child, "Hello, do you love your body?"

This brief encounter circles back to the reason why The Real Body Manual matters — it opens up these conversations with our kids, offering a tangible resource for others. I know I try to have more conversations like this with my son, and I've even encouraged him to hug himself when he needs a little dose of self love.

"The things that matter — having purpose in life, feeling love, being a good community member — don't have much to do with whether you have hyperpigmentation, freckles, cellulite, etc.," she says. "The more you know from the beginning of your journey that bodies look different, the easier it is for you to accept [yourself]. But if the only bodies you're seeing are sexualized in pornography, videos, and magazines, you don't have a real basis."

It's one of the biggest reasons she intended for The Real Body Manual to be a visual guide.

3. Your Naked Body Is Beautiful

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"I really like showing people what the body actually looks like for the most part," Redd says. Yeah, that's right — The Real Body Manual features real people's bodies, not just illustrations. In doing so, she says, "Everyone can see someone who resembles them." It doesn't matter if you're heavy-set, a person with different sized breasts, or anything in-between. The point is that you'll be able to find yourself somewhere in The Real Body Manual.

My mother told me how little information her own mom shared with her about bodies. Because of that, my mom always stressed that she wanted my sister and I to have access to whatever information we needed. She wanted us to be informed, and never inhibited by her own lack of comfort over a topic. But not all parents feel comfortable sharing with their kids.

Redd says, "I don't think it was done with malice. I think people are just working with whatever they have which is not a lot." She further notes people have chosen to refer to genitals as "down there" for both men and women instead of saying the proper term for them for their autonomy. I'll be honest — growing up in a religious background often means sexual shame was attached to very normal things like breasts and penises.

Not everyone was on board with me telling my toddler he has a penis instead of saying "pee pee" — or not talking about it at all, if we're being honest. But I wanted him to feel comfortable with what he was born with, and to know that his dad having the same anatomy is normal. "We just don't use the proper names for things which increases this shroud of secrecy about it. We aren't taught health literacy," Redd says.

4. 'The Real Body Manual' Is A Must-Have For Pre-Teens, Teens, And Adults

Yan Krukau

Funnily enough, Redd informs me that October is actually Health Literacy Month, making all this really round out. We should know what's going on with our bodies, whether it's the proper terminology, what changes we're going through, what we can look like. Ignorance only makes our experiences more confusing and harder — especially when we're young and probably have a million different questions.

She explains that if you ask people specifics like 'How does a period work,' then they may not know the answer. "The same goes for if you ask what's the difference between a freckle and a mole," Redd explains. "It may not seem like these things are a big deal, but when something goes wrong, you need to know 'I need to get this thing checked out.'"

Information is power, and when armed with information about our bodies we can lead safer, healthier lives. Instead of wondering why we don't talk about things enough, Redd decided to take the bull by the horns and talk about them — and she thinks you should talk about them, even (and sometimes especially) when they're uncomfortable. She says, "Any time you feel shame or discomfort discussing your body, that's a sign you don't have enough information."

If you find yourself unable to ask other people questions, but want to start feeling comfortable in your body, I highly recommend that you read both Body Drama and The Real Body Manual because they're equipped with detailed explanations — and helpful imagery — about how bodies actually look, work, and feel.

Buy 'The Real Body Manual' Here!

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The Real Body Manual

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If you grew up during the 90s, chances are you're very familiar with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Besides David and Victoria Beckham, this couple is the reason most millennials believe that love really can last 'forever.' They're both well-respected actors who've starred in cult favorites like I Know What You Did Last Summer and She's All That, plus Sarah starred in the cult-classic show Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Knowing they've cracked the relationship longevity code brings a smile to this millennial's face.

Can't help but fangirl over Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. either? Let's take a trip down memory lane to revisit their relationship timeline!

Kevin Winters/Getty Images

1997: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.'s First Introduction

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. officially met while they were working on the set of I Know What You Did Last Summer, as reported by People. That's something I never really considered back then so this news makes my heart sing! I can't even begin to tell you how much I love watching it even though it's a killer flick.

1999: Sarah Makes a Quick Appearance in She's All That

It's not 100% clear if they were romantically interested in each other a couple of years later, but Sarah did make an appearance in She's All That. The film's director, Robert Iscove, opened up to Cosmopolitan about how her cameo happened in 2015. "She was there visiting Freddie and we asked her if she would come and do it, and she said she would come and do it, but she wouldn't speak. She wouldn't say any lines."

Claire Greeneway/Getty Images

January 2000: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.'s First Date

The funny thing about their first date is that they weren't actually planning on going on one. They were just friends at the time and a last-minute cancellation turned into something more. Sarah told People Now, " "We were friends for a very long time. We'd had many dinners before. And we were supposed to go with someone else, and the third person didn't make it out and we decided to still go," she recalled.

April 2001: Their Accidental First Date Leads to an Engagement

Fate must've known something Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. didn't because they ended up getting engaged during the spring of 2001. ABC News shared that they announced the news during Gellar's birthday party.

Kevin Winters/Getty Images

September 2002: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Make It Official

The beautiful couple said "I Do" during a lovely ceremony in Mexico, according to People. Their friend Cathy Waterman — designer of their wedding bands — said, "They're on the same channel" and "This is one in which you go, 'This is going to last.'"

I'm sure she's glad to know her prediction has been proven many times over!

Kevin Winters/Getty Images

April 2009 — September 2009: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Enter Parenthood

In 2009 Sarah Michelle and Freddie Prinze Jr. not only announced they were preparing to welcome their first child, but they later did just that. Their daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze was born right before summer ended and we can only imagine how overjoyed the couple was.

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April 2012: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Announce Their Second Pregnancy

Three years after announcing they were expecting their first child, People found out the couple were ready to expand with the announcement of their second pregnancy. A source reportedly said, "They love their little girl more than anything in the world and know that love will only multiply."

September 2012: Sarah Michelle Gellar Gives Birth To a Son

Similar to their daughter's arrival, the couple's son — Rocky James Prinze — was born in September 2012. To celebrate his bday a few years ago, Sarah shared two adorable pics of him on Instagram when he was just a baby. "Rocky, on the day you were born, I swear my heart tripled in size," she partially wrote in the caption.

Chris Weeks:Liason

September 2017: The Couple Celebrates 15 Years of Marriage

Time flies when you're having fun love each other which brings a smile to my face when thinking about Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr.

Sarah actually shared a touching video on Instagram that perfectly captured the happy couple throughout the years. Each photo in the video includes the year it was taken which really puts their relationship into perspective.

Michael Kovac/Getty Images for GILT

November 2019: Freddie Prinze, Jr. Opens Up About His Love For Cooking

It's long been rumored that women are the only ones who enjoy cooking, but that's not the case for Sarah Michelle Gellar. Freddie Prinze, Jr. told People in 2019 that he's the one who throws down in the kitchen. "It's never a hassle for me to cook dinner because I like it," he freely admitted.

This is so similar to my household because I know how to cook enough to survive, but I prefer to let my S.O. plan our meals. Sorry, not sorry!

Paul Hiffmeyer/Getty Images for Disney Enterprises, Inc.

October 2022: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Are All About Their Kids Enjoying Their Youth

If you think this couple wants their children actively on social media, think again. She opened up about one of the rules she and Freddie have in place that seem worlds away from what's considered the 'norm.' "Our rules are probably stricter than most. Our kids don't have social media," she told So Mini Ways, Yahoo's Parenting series.

I know some people feel that kids should have access to things, but I'm on the fence about it now that I have a toddler. I remember what it's like having unlimited and unchecked access to the internet so I'm not sure if I'd want my kids to come across some of the things I did.

It may be controversial, but I applaud Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. for making this decision.

Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Paramount+

January 2023: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Hit the Red Carpet for Wolf Pack

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. looked amazing while posing for pictures on Wolf Pack's red carpet. Her floral mini dress by Oscar de la Renta made me want to buy something similar even if I knew I probably wouldn't find it.

Jerod Harris/Getty Images for Knott's Scary Farm

September 2023: Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. Celebrate 21 Years of Married Life

I can't believe I'm typing this, but Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr. celebrated 21 years of marriage last year. That means this couple has been going strong for two decades!

Sarah took to Instagram again to celebrate their love with a throwback picture from their wedding day on Instagram and my jaw is still on the floor.

If you need more proof that the couple are still very much in love, here's a more recent pic that Sarah shared on Instagram from earlier in the year. She's "Still celebrating and spoiling" Freddie years later, and I think it goes without saying that he loves it there.

Sigh the bar has been set HIGH, and I can't wait to see how they continue to grow with time.

November 2024: Freddie Prinze, Jr. Reveals The One Celebrity Experience They're "Good At Avoiding"

Despite the fact that paparazzi love to see (and often follow) celebrity couples, Freddie just revealed how he and Sarah have been able to keep things low-key. When Oldish's podcast co-host Randy Spelling asked how they stay out of the public — and how intentional they have to be to keep a low profile — Freddie said it's "by choice," and that "you can control it to a certain degree."

"I don't know how deliberate [others] are in trying to avoid that BS," he said on the podcast. "I know how easy it's been for us because I don't go anywhere. I don't go to parties. People don't see Sarah and I out and about at the popular places. We have our restaurants that we like, and they're not super trendy in places where paparazzi hang out. So we're good at avoiding it."

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Navigating adulthood as an eldest daughter can be tough. While you’re not a child in your parents’ home anymore, the dynamics you grew up with can still follow. Think about it: how often do you find yourself trying to solve everyone else’s problems while continuously trying to shoulder your own alone? If this resonates with you at all, you may be dealing with Eldest Daughter Syndrome.

To understand what this actually looks like beyond the TikTok therapy speak of it all, I talked to a licensed therapist, Briana Paruolo, LCMHC. As the founder of On Par Therapy — a practice that specializes in “burnout, disordered eating, and self-worth” that seeks to “empower high achieving women” — she comes across a lot of clients dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Here’s what Paruolo has to say!


TL;DR

  • Eldest daughter syndrome isn't in the DSM-5, but that doesn't make the experiences of eldest daughters any less real.
  • Eldest daughter syndrome can look like intense perfectionism, unrealistic high standards, an inability to delegate, and an innate need to prioritize the needs of others first.
  • Eldest daughters can heal by validating their experiences, understanding their self-worth, and setting clear boundaries with themselves and others — especially by just saying "no" sometimes.

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

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While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Pavel Danilyuk

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

Netflix

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Any Lane

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

jasmin chew

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

Elina Fairytale

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉

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If Gilmore Girls andThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel have shown me anything, it's that creator Amy Sherman-Palladino always has an incredible story up her sleeve. Her new show Étoile, which is coming to Prime Video, promises to be a beautiful and sophisticated look at the world of dance, and if the fact that it's from Amy wasn't enough reason to watch it, it's also Prime's first new show to get a two-season order! Here's everything we know about the series.

What is the next Sherman Palladino show?

Writer/Producer/Director Amy Sherman-Palladino, Writer/Producer/Director Daniel Palladino seen at Netflix's Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life premiere.Eric Charbonneau/Netflix

Following our beloved Gilmore Girls and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Dan and Amy Sherman-Palladino's next series is Étoile, which is set at two world-famous ballet companies in New York City and Paris. When both companies run into some trouble, the decide to swap their most talented stars in a last-ditch effort to save themselves.

And based on the first set leaks from New York City, it looks like Étoile will definitely be packing on the drama. This short clip shows Luke Kirby standing outside Lincoln Center in a serious conversation (probably about the fate of his ballet company, TBH).

"Well, guess that plan for early retirement will have to wait," Dan and Amy said in a joint statement (via The Hollywood Reporter). "Instead, we’ve decided to embark on an international journey with an unbelievable group of players and the most talented ballet dancers in the world. We will sleep when we’re dead."

But this isn't the first time ASP has forayed into the world of ballet! Her ABC Family series Bunheads (which premiered on June 11, 2012) follows Michelle (Sutton Foster) who moves to her hometown of Paradise and starts working at her mother-in-law's dance studio The Paradise Dance Academy. The best part is that the role of Michelle's mother-in-law is played by Emily Gilmore herself, Kelly Bishop!

When does Étoile premiere?

Anya Juárez Tenorio/Pexels

We don't have an official release date yet, but considering THR recently revealed the show will finish filming soon, we're hoping to see Étoile in 2025. Just like Gilmore Girls is the ultimate fall rewatch, maybe Étoile will be the ultimate winter rewatch!

Who's in the Étoile cast?

Luke Kirby attends the The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Finale Celebration at the Fonda Theater in Los Angeles on Mon, May 22, 2023. Todd Williamson/JanuaryImages/Prime Video

So far, we know that Étoile will star Luke Kirby, Gideon Glick, Camille Cottin, Simon Callow, Lou de Laâge, and David Alvarez. Yanic Truesdale, who played our favorite Gilmore Girls concierge Michel, has also joined the series as a recurring character! I'm so excited to see Yanic working with Amy Sherman-Palladino again — it's like a Gilmore Girls reunion!

What does Étoile mean?

Jeremy Thomas/Unsplash

Étoile translates to "star," and there are so many different connections here! We have the ballet stars themselves, but you also wish upon a star and reach for the stars when you're working towards a dream. If you ask me, Étoile is the perfect name for this series.

How many episodes does Étoile have?

Merve Sehirli Nasir/Unsplash

The first season of Étoile will have eight episodes total, but considering Prime Video ordered two seasons, we'll definitely be getting more episodes.

Are you excited to watch Étoile? Check back here for the latest news on the series, and stay updated on your favorite TV shows and movies on our Facebook!

This post has been updated.

So long, pumpkin spice season: Starbucks’ holiday menu is on the way, and per menu leaks, it reportedly brings back a ton of seasonal favorites starting next week.

From a classic Peppermint Mocha to the beloved Caramel Brûlée Latte, the recent menu rumors say a new Refresher flavor, 6 unique cold foams, and 4 new bakery items are on the way as the holidays draw near – including many items we predicted! The speculated lineup is honestly wild. Starbucks teased that the holiday menu will hit stores on November 7.

If you just can’t wait to order off the Starbucks holiday menu, here’s every offering reportedly coming to your closest cafe!

When will the Starbucks holiday drinks for 2024 come out?

Starbucks

According to an Instagram post from Starbucks, new holiday drinks and snacks will come out on November 7, 2024.

Will there be holiday cups?

Starbucks

Yes, the Starbucks holiday menu will include some new holiday cup designs! You can peek at all the new designs for 2024 here.

What's missing from this year's rumored Starbucks holiday menu?

Starbucks

Per rumors around the Starbucks holiday menu, the Eggnog Latte, Toasted White Chocolate Mocha, Irish Cream Cold Brew, and Gingerbread Loaf won't be returning to cafes for 2024. We're especially sad to see the Toasted White Chocolate Mocha not included, though the official menu lineup has yet to be released!

When is Starbucks Red Cup Day 2024?

Starbucks

Though there's no official word out about Red Cup Day for 2024, our best guess – based on the Red Cup Days of years past – is it'll return mid-November. In 2023, Red Cup Day fell on November 16. In 2022, the coffee chain held the event on November 17. Both dates landed on the third Thursday of November, so we predict it to hit on November 21 for 2024. Red Cup Day is when Starbucks customers can get a free reusable red cup when they order a seasonal drink off the holiday menu.

Drinks On The Starbucks Holiday Menu 2024

@markie_devo

NEW! Cran-Merry Orange Refresher

The Starbucks holiday menu leak reported that this brand-new Refresher is packed with sweet orange, tart cranberry and warm spice. It also has cranberry inclusions and is order-able mixed with water, lemonade or coconut milk.

Starbucks

Iced Gingerbread Oatmilk Chai

Chai is a totally underrated holiday flavor in our opinion. This iced drink is crafted with warm chai spices and creamy oat milk, then gets topped with even more frothed oat milk infused with gingerbread-flavored syrup and a sprinkling of spice.

Starbucks

Peppermint Mocha

You know it, and you love it! The Peppermint Mocha has hit Starbucks menus year after year, making it a total statement sip for the holiday season. This drink (available hot or iced) combines peppermint syrup, mocha sauce, and your milk of choice with espresso for a festive feel. It's traditionally topped with whipped cream and tasty chocolate curls.

Starbucks

Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha

Similar to the classic Peppermint Mocha, this bev swaps chocolate for white chocolate sauce.

Starbucks

Caramel Brûlée Latte

This rumored Starbucks holiday menu drink is very rich. The sweet caramel brûlée sauce totally completes the sip, along with plenty of whipped cream and crunchy lil' brûlée bits for textural variety.

Starbucks

Sugar Cookie Almondmilk Latte

Literally like a sugar cookie in liquid form, this super-sweet latte is handcrafted with blonde espresso (it's sweeter and lighter than Starbucks' traditional espresso shots), sugar cookie syrup, and almond milk for a little bit of a lighter effect. It's finished off with red and green sprinkles to up the seasonal vibes even more!

Starbucks

Chestnut Praline Latte

This nutty latte – rumored to return for 2024 – brings on notes of chestnut and praline, which is a nice, flavorful departure from the very expected peppermint you'll see everywhere come holiday time.

Starbucks

Salted Pecan Crunch Cold Brew

Initially introduced for fall 2024, it appears as though the Salted Pecan Crunch Cold Brew will stay on the Starbucks menu well into winter. The salted, pecan-flavored cold foam offers that classic sweet n' salty twist you'd enjoy on fall snacks like trail mix or dipped pretzels. The best part is you can now also order the cold foam in non-dairy form!

Starbucks

Holiday Cold Foams

Per the menu leak, Starbs will be bringing back four beloved holiday-flavored cold foamsand two new options for 2024. They're the perfect drink customization to add to your iced coffees and cold brews if you don't want to order an all-out holiday drink. See all the predicted flavors below:

  • NEW! Gingerbread
  • NEW! Salted Pecan
  • Peppermint Chocolate
  • Sugar Cookie
  • Chestnut Praline
  • Caramel Brûlée

Snacks On The Starbucks Holiday Menu 2024

@markie_devo

NEW! Dark Toffee Bundt

Per the menu leak, this sweet toffee-flavored bundt will be topped with holly- and berry-shaped sprinkles. How perfect for the holiday season!

@markie_devo

NEW! Turkey Sage Danish

This savory snack reportedly includes "turkey sausage with creamy béchamel sauce in a pastry." It sounds like Thanksgiving in a single treat, and we can't wait to try it!

@markie_devo

NEW! Penguin Cookie

This cutie sugar cookie is decorated like a lil' penguin bundled up for the cold.

Starbucks

Snowman Cake Pop

Starbucks' classic vanilla cake pop gets a wintry twist with an adorable snowman face – this sweet really makes us crave the holiday season!

Starbucks

Sugar Plum Cheese Danish

This cream cheese-filled danish is topped with a slightly-spiced sugar plum jam. It's been one of our go-to's over the past few holiday seasons at Starbucks!

Starbucks

Cranberry Bliss Bar

The Cranberry Bliss Bar has become an absolute staple on the Starbucks holiday menu, and for good reason! This blondie treat is smothered in a delicious cream cheese frosting and sprinkled with orange zest and dried cranberries for added seasonal enjoyment.

What People Are Saying About The Leaked Starbucks Holiday Menu

Though most commenters on @markie_devo's Starbucks holiday menu leak post seemed to be excited for the upcoming rumored menu items, some Starbs fans noticed a few things missing from the leaked lineup.

"Still missing eggnog 😢," someone noted.

"Where is the toasted white chocolate mocha 😢😢😢😢," another questioned.

"ALLLLLL these cold foams, and not the one people want: Irish Cream," one more commenter said.

"Ugh still no gingerbread loaf 😭," a disappointed user wrote. "Everything else looks bomb though!"

Despite the Eggnog Latte, Toasted White Chocolate Mocha, Irish Cream Cold Brew, and Gingerbread loaf not being part of this year's menu predictions, the holiday season is our favorite time of year at Starbucks. Many more users shared the same sentiment:

"So excited for all chestnut praline shaken espressos & cranberry bliss bars 🎄🎄🎄🎄," someone wrote.

"Oh hell yess all the chestnut praline offerings," another rejoiced.

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This post has been updated.