How to Divvy up Household Chores and Still Maintain a Happy Relationship With Your S.O.

The decision to move in with your S.O. is an exciting one. You’re taking a new step in your relationship and affirming your future together; you’re consolidating your possessions and making two lives into one. And that’s a wonderful thing — until you consider the fact that making two lives one also means double the stuff and double the chores. No matter how you spin it, nobody likes chores (and if your S.O. does, you should probably marry them). Sara Stanizai, licensed marriage and family therapist based in California, has five tips for divvying up your to-dos with your boo.

Couple doing chores at home

1. Have regular conversations about it. With housework, you can’t just set it and forget it. Schedules and commitments are constantly shifting (and resentments don’t take long to build), so it’s best to continually reevaluate the routine. “If you change your mind, it’s okay to change who is in charge of what,” Stanizai says. By having open conversations about the workload on a regular basis, you and your partner will give each other opportunities to set and keep expectations amidst whatever else is going on in your lives — and keep resentments to a minimum.

2. Understand your own approach to chores. “When it comes to chores, do you need reminders? Appreciation? Variety?” Stanizai says. “Be clear so that your partner knows what to expect and you can be held accountable.” No matter the power dynamic in your relationship, you and your partner should feel free to adjust your approach to chores to fit your lifestyles, skills, and time, and in order to do that you have to know what your own methods and needs are as a starting point.

3. Delegate. Whether you’re washing dishes and they’re cleaning the bathroom or vice versa, the bottom line is that you’re sharing work — even if you’re sharing it unevenly. To Stanizai, the important dynamic is that you two are being intelligent about who does what. “Take into consideration what you and your partner enjoy doing, what your strengths are, and what you avoid,” she advises. “Divide chores up according to how much they affect you.”

4. Know how chores fit into the bigger picture. The thing about chores is that they’re not just chores. “Chores can take on meaning just as much as any other aspect of your relationship,” Stanizai points out. Like anything else, they’re a way to know if your partner is there for you when you need them to be. For that reason, it’s important to not be hyper-critical of your S.O. if, for instance, they forget to do the laundry or pick up groceries. Instead, talk with them and use your chores as a catalyst to make you better participants in your relationship.

5. Say thank you. According to Stanizai, saying thank you for doing chores is practically as important as doing the chores themselves. It might feel funny at first, but she recommends voicing your gratefulness. “Say it out loud,” she says. “’Thank you. I know you hate doing that. I appreciate it. You did a great job.’” When it comes to dull housework, a few words go a long way.

How do you and your S.O. divvy up your chores? Let us know @BritandCo!

(Photo via Getty)

Everyone deals with family issues, but some people had more dysfunctional childhoods than others. Are there ways to tell? According to family psychologist Caitlin Slavens of Mamapsychologistsand therapist Rachel D. Miller, Ph.D., LMFT of Hold The Vision Therapy, yes!

Slavens says, "As a family psychologist, I’ve seen how growing up in a dysfunctional family leaves its mark. Sometimes the signs are glaring, like obvious chaos or neglect." However, she said the signs can also be "more subtle" being that they're "things you don’t even realize were 'off' until you’re older." You may even "start noticing patterns in yourself or your relationships" if you've become retrospective, according to her.

Here are all the subtle signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

1. You're never sure what kind of mood your parents will be in before you walk in the living room or kitchen.

Emma Bauso

Let's put this on record: parenting is tough — especially on top of trying to maintain a work-life balance. But, this doesn't mean you're meant to be unsure of what to expect every time you come around your parents. If you have to "'read the room'" a lot "before speaking," Slavens indicates this is one of the more subtle signs of dysfunction.

This is where you may have learned how to become passive-aggressive if that's something you struggle with. The reason for this is because "clear and direct communication is avoided and/or seen as bad or aggressive," according to Dr. Miller.

2. You tend to feel like you're constantly compared to and in competition with your siblings.

August de Richelieu

My heart truly wants to believe this isn't intentional behavior from parents, but I can't say I haven't heard people talk about feeling like they'd never measure up to the 'golden child' of their family. You may have felt insecure about your grades, the college you chose to go to, your career goals, or even your physical appearance. Slavens says this "struggle with self-worth or second-guessing yourself constantly" is yet another sign that your family's dynamic wasn't the healthiest.

Also, Dr. Miller says this could've caused you to learn to "shrink yourself in the presence of loved ones." Even worse, you may "feel the need to hide pieces of yourself in order to be loved and accepted."

3. There was constant yelling and screaming during arguments, making you fearful of disagreements or hardships.

Kaboompics.com

If you grew up in a home where arguments always led to screaming and yelling, chances are you're not a fan of loud voices or hard moments. Honestly, Slavens says it's not hard to believe that "conflict make you anxious, even when it’s minor." Unsurprisingly, you may have become a referee during these arguments and currently find yourself being a mediator in your platonic or romantic relationships. Why?

Dr. Miller says, "You constantly feel the need to manage everyone else’s emotions often at the cost of your own needs and wellbeing." You know, to keep the peace.

Here are some more obvious signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

4. You had to take on a parental role when one of your parents decided to stop being an adult.

cottonbro studio

I imagine that having an emotionally immature parent is one of the most aggravating and stressful things to deal with. Not only that, but you may have had to help keep the household afloat. You may have had to get a job or two to help pay bills, listening to an adult conversation as your mom or dad laid their problems at your young feet, and more!

If you "family roles were flipped" and you "maybe had to parent your own parents," Slavens says this is a form of emotional dysfunction.

5. You weren't allowed to go anywhere with your friends because your parents wanted to keep an eye on you at all times.

Ketut Subiyanto

Slavens says boundaries that "didn't exist" or "were rigid and controlling" is a sign your home was a little...interesting. Being concerned about your whereabouts is one thing, but it's another when you're unable to do anything without your parents' eagle-eyes on you. Something as simple as going to the mall with your friends may have become a lecture about the dangers of shoplifting or car wrecks. Again, these are valid concerns but they shouldn't be treated like the verbal form of doom scrolling.

6. You consistently witnessed one of your parents abuse alcohol or drugs at home.

Ksenia Chernaya

This is a tough because substance abuse is so prevalent in varies socioeconomic statuses and communities. From the functioning alcoholic to the one who becomes belligerent after they've had too much to drink, it always affects those around them. Slavens says if "there was ongoing neglect, substance abuse, or verbal/physical aggression," your home probably didn't safe.

I recognize some of these signs of a dysfunctional family. But that doesn't mean they're affecting my current relationships, right?

Ron Lach

I hate to break it to you, but it's possible your childhood wounds have shown up before. "Dysfunctional dynamics don’t stay in childhood — they tend to creep into how you connect with others," says Slavens. Similarly, Dr. Miller agrees that "we typically repeat what we learned at home with our families in our other relationships." How?

"This includes the beliefs and rules we follow, often completely subconsciously, about what can and can’t talk about and why, as well as what emotions are allowed to be expressed, who can express them and how, and how we should or must respond to those people and their emotions," explains Dr. Miller.

Another way to look at this is how Slavens has outlined it:

In Platonic Relationships:

  1. Overextending yourself to please others, even at your own expense
  2. Feeling like you have to "earn your friends' affections.
  3. Avoiding vulnerability because it feels unsafe.

In Romantic Relationships:

  1. Struggling to trust your partner or feeling overly suspicious
  2. Repeating patterns like dating people who are emotionally unavailable or controlling.
  3. Feeling overly responsible for your partner's happiness — or relying on them for yours.

OMG! How do I unlearn habits from my dysfunctional family?

Antoni Shkraba

Honestly, everyone has a few bad habits they've carried from their childhood to adulthood. You're not an outlier because some things weren't 100% normal so I don't want you to feel like you're a failure for not having having it all together. "Dysfunction doesn’t have to define your future relationships," Slavens assures. Dr. Miller says you can start to unlearn things "that aren't working for you anymore" by "gathering your family's larger context to gain insight into how and why, for them, the behaviors make sense."

By taking a look at your family's "history and larger social and political contexts" gives you a chance to "see them as whole people with full lives," she says. Once you do that, she believes "you can examine what pieces make sense for you to keep and what parts you'd like to learn to do differently." Her other suggestion? Don't forget you're ability to utilize a "therapist who works systemically, like an LMFT" who "can be a huge support in this process."

Anastasia Shuraeva

Slavens' tips include the following:

  1. Practice self-awareness: Notice when a response feels automatic — like people-pleasing or shutting down during conflict — and ask yourself, Is this helping me, or is this a leftover habit from the past?
  2. Set boundaries: If your childhood lacked healthy boundaries, learning to say “no” without guilt is a game-changer. Boundaries protect your energy and teach others how to treat you.
  3. Learn healthy conflict skills: If conflict made you feel unsafe growing up, it’s natural to avoid it. But healthy conflict is necessary in relationships. Practice expressing your needs calmly and directly.
  4. Therapy, therapy, therapy: A good therapist can help untangle the messy, “weird” things that got normalized and give you tools to rebuild healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
  5. Surround yourself with healthier models: Whether it’s friends, mentors, or books/podcasts, seek examples of functional relationships and start observing what feels different.

While you're busy unlearning things, Dr. Miller also wants you to remember something. "Recognize that how your family does something is simply that; how your particular family system figured out and were taught to navigate the world. It isn’t inherently right because you’ve normalized it nor is the way another person or family does it inherently wrong," she says.

Slavens' final thoughts? "It’s not about blaming your family but recognizing how your experiences shaped you — and giving yourself permission to do things differently. You’re allowed to rewrite the script."

Visit the top signs to recognize if you have toxic friends on Brit + Co!

We're excited about how cozy, enchanting, and yummy this holiday is going to be, and Christmas appetizers are a huge part of that. For us, Christmas appetizers bring forth the nostalgic feeling of endlessly snacking on peppermint bark and puppy chow as a kid. With starter recipes this easy, there's no reason to be a scrooge about making your holiday menu. Whether you're dreaming up a new lineup of Christmas cocktails or a festive dessert, you can get creative with merry mealtime –without giving yourself too much to handle. Here are some easy Christmas appetizers that will satiate for a lazy holiday at home.

You Won't Believe How Easy These Holiday Appetizers Are To Make

Christmas involves a lot of prep, especially when you're hosting. Whether your family is all about those casual get togethers, you're helping Grandma with Christmas dinner, or you're throwing your first dinner party, the last thing you want is to be stressed over a ridiculously difficult recipe. That's where these easy Christmas appetizers (which can also double as side dishes) come into play! Not only will that take pressure off of you, but there are so many different options that you're sure to find a few sweet and savory recipes that everyone loves.

Brit + Co

Italian Hand Pies

Follow this exact recipe for a fully vegan Christmas appetizer, or choose your own adventure by making swaps for the plant-based picks. No matter how you make them, these savory hand pies will taste amazing for a pre-dinner snack.

Brit + Co

Chocolate-Covered Cheese Bites

You'd never guess it, but certain kinds of chocolates and cheeses work well together, kind of like snack and wine pairings. This appetizer-ready recipe combines Parmigiano Reggiano and bitter dark chocolate for a mind-blowingly merry munchie.

Brit + Co

Greek Stuffed Mushrooms

To make these bite-sized Christmas appetizers, you'll essentially stuff mushrooms full of the contents of Greek salad. That means this pick is super healthy, but also super customizable, too. If you'd rather stuff your mushrooms with melty cheese, there's nothing stopping you!

Brit + Co

Sesame Shrimp Puffs

This savory, layered snack takes flavor inspiration from Asian dishes, which will totally make it a standout among the more traditional holiday dishes you're serving this season.

Cabot Creamery

Butter Candles

If you make a butter candle as a Christmas appetizer, just know it's gonna be the talk of the table. When lit, it will not only generate some seriously melty butter to dip crusty bread in, but it will add to the cozy Christmas dinner ambience, burning warm light.

Brit + Co

Bacon Pastry Twists with Beer Cheese Dip

All you have to say is "cheese dip," and your dinner guests will flock to the snack area. To complete the appetizer, make these easy bacon twists that are crafted with pre-made pastry dough. (via Brit + Co.)

Brit + Co

Keto Cheese Ball

Keto or not, you'll be blown away by this cheese ball. It's covered in chives and bacon crumbles, the ultimate duo to pair with crunchy crackers.

Brit + Co

Spinach Dip

Spinach dip is a no-fail Christmas appetizer. You can serve it hot or cold, and it's going to be delicious every single time.

Brit + Co

Smoked Salmon Poke Bites

If you love sushi but don't want to eat a whole roll before Christmas dinner, this appetizer is the perfect pick for you. With smoked salmon, rice, avocado, and onions, everyone will want more of these delicious bites. They're super easy to customize too, so you can leave out (or add) whatever toppings you want.

Brit + Co

Baked French Onion Meatballs

Meatballs are one of the greatest Christmas appetizers because they're bite-sized and delicious. We'd definitely consider that a win-win. This French-themed recipe features cremini mushrooms, garlic, and gruyere cheese for some seriously rich flavor.

Brit + Co

Vegan Butter Board Recipe

Butter boards are one TikTok trend that we can totally get behind, and this updated version gives the dish a sweet (and healthy) twist with vegan butter and plenty of berries. Coconut flakes and almonds add some texture, but if your guests have allergies, simply leave them off!

Brit + Co

Bacon-Wrapped Sweet Potatoes

This delicious Christmas appetizer is a great way to complement the all kinds of recipes that you'll be having throughout the holiday season. Since they take less than an hour to make, they're great as a pre-dinner snack while the ham is in the oven. They're easy, they're delicious, and they're Paleo!

Brit + Co

Beet Hummus

Add some vibrant color to your holiday appetizer game with this superfood dip. Dress it up with festive veggies like rainbow carrots, watermelon radish, and golden beets. Talk about eye candy!

Brit + Co

Sweet Potato + Feta + Honey Appetizer

This holiday appetizer provides a mouthwatering balance between sweet and salty that will definitely make its way to your table year after year. Spice it up with some extra seasoning or leave it as-is based on your preference. Either way, don't worry about setting out the Tupperware — you won't have any leftovers!

Brit + Co

Vegan Baked Brie Recipe

Baked brie is one of our favorite Christmas appetizers, but if you usually can't take part in the creamy goodness, have no fear. This vegan recipe swaps regular cheese for a cashew-based alternative. You can use cashews to make a convincingly creamy dip, and the nutritional yeast in this pick gives it a cheesy flavor that's almost too good to be true.

Food Lovin' Family

Vegetable Pinwheels

You can make these cream cheese and veggie pinwheels with any filling you prefer, making it a dish that gives you a ton of variety at the snack table. They're so colorful, too! Try this Christmas appetizer with different types of wraps or try filling them with fruit for even more snackage.

The Blond Cook

Easy Cheesy Jalapeño Poppers

These flaky, cheesy, and spicy poppers are *the* go-to Christmas appetizer idea when you want big flavor, but are short on time. Use veggie cream cheese instead of regular to give this snack a fuller flavor.

Half Baked Harvest

Cranberry Brie Pastry Tarts

What's more festive than cranberries and brie? Bright, cheery, and just a bit sweet, this Christmas appetizer recipe is exactly what any party needs to get going. And they're simple to make, too!

Greens & Chocolate

Red Cooking Wine Caramelized Onion Baked Brie

Baked brie is not only a fan-favorite Christmas hors d'oeuvre, but it's quick to throw in the oven while you're working on your other appetizers. This recipe uses caramelized onions and a little bit of wine to bring out the flavors of the cheese. We love eating this cheese with crackers and fruit.

Full of Plants

Vegan Smoked “Salmon” Cheese Rolls

If you love the elegance of sushi but don't want to leave fish out all night, this might be the best Christmas appetizer recipe for you. You'll never guess what the vegan salmon is made from. These are also a great way to make sure any vegan family members at the party aren't excluded.

Greens & Chocolate

Citrus Marinated Olives and Feta

For something tangy and savory to snack on, look no further than this recipe. Besides being full of tasty flavor, telling your family that you marinated your own olives will make for a toothsome conversation starter!

Need Menu Ideas? Steal These Christmas Finger Food Recipes.

Let's save the forks and knives for dinner! Finger foods are easy for both prep and clean up. All you need is a few small plates and napkins, and your friends and family can enjoy these holiday appetizers at their leisure. Finger foods are also great for kids because they're often bite-sized, but that doesn't mean that everyone can't enjoy them! From bacon-wrapped scallops to Chinese chicken egg rolls, don't be surprised if these Christmas appetizers leave your guests speechless.

Fit Living Eats

Holiday Pomegranate Guacamole on Roasted Sweet Potato Toasts

What's red and green and sweet underneath? These festive Christmas party appetizers topped with pomegranate seeds and guacamole! With so many different consistencies and flavors coming together, this recipe really provides an appetizer experience like no other.

Dinner at the Zoo

Mexican Shrimp Cocktail

Shrimp cocktail is always a hit — especially when you serve it in a fancy glass! These shrimp are served with a zesty cocktail sauce and to add that Mexican flair, they're topped with a refreshing tomato and avocado relish to make them a holiday appetizer recipe to remember.

Blissful Basil

Vegan Walnut, Sage, and Cranberry Stuffed Holiday Mushrooms

Mushrooms were meant to be stuffed — and when you pop one of these tasty and easy holiday appetizers into your mouth, you'll agree. The nutty, herbaceous, and slightly sweet filling creates a palate pleaser that will wow all your friends.

Amanda Wilens

Charcuterie Wreath

The only thing we love more than a Christmas appetizer is a themed Christmas appetizer, and this charcuterie wreath is just perf! It's a cute (and festive) take on the usual cheese board. Use plenty of rosemary sprigs for some greenery and throw in a few chocolate pieces for good measure.

Cooks with Cocktails

Bacon-Wrapped Scallops With Cajun Cream Sauce

The bacon-wrapped scallop is kicked up with a creamy and dreamy Cajun sauce. This is one recipe that's tasty enough to be made all year long!

The Roasted Root

Maple Rosemary Roasted Nuts

Warm, aromatic roasted nuts help you stay cozy when it's cold outside, and the maple and rosemary flavors in this holiday hors d'oeuvre work so nicely together. Not only do these make a tasty appetizer, but you can fill your go-to candy jar with them for a snack all holiday season long.

Half Baked Harvest

Chinese Chicken and Brussels Sprouts Egg Rolls + Sweet Chile Pomegranate Sauce

You've never seen egg rolls like this. The crispy egg rolls become swoon-worthy bites when mixed with the sweet, tart pomegranate dipping sauce. Since pomegranates are in season in wintertime, make sure to get a few to make some extra holiday recipes.

The Cozy Apron

Crispy Caprese Meatballs Stuffed with Mozzarella

We understand that people share a deep love for crock pots full of Swedish meatballs, but these babies take the cake. Stuffed with gooey mozzarella, these meatballs will totally become a holiday tradition.

Try These Delicious Dip Ideas For Christmas Eve!

By the time Christmas Eve comes around, you've probably already made half a dozen appetizers for your office party, your friend's White Elephant gift exchange, and your family's Christmas dinner. If you're feeling burnt out on regular finger foods, go for a dip instead! Dips are a great way to make a customizable appetizer that everyone will be able to enjoy. Make some sweet and savory dips to give guests a few different options, and pair 'em with your favorite cracker, veggie, or even cookies. Chef's kiss!

What's Gaby Cooking

Cheesy Artichoke Dip

A party just isn't a party without a melty dip! Get ready for a little extra indulgence with this ooey-gooey mixture that's packed with plump artichokes and topped with toasty breadcrumbs for an easy Christmas appetizer. Our mouths are watering!

The Recipe Critic

Cranberry Pecan Cheese Ball

A pop of dried cranberries makes this holiday cheese ball a tart and savory Christmas-themed appetizer to make for your next holiday bash. It's an unconventional take on a cheese ball that uses your favorite traditional holiday ingredients.

Pinch of Yum

Curry Hummus

Why have run-of-the-mill appetizers for a Christmas party when you can have curry hummus? This recipe is easy to follow, even if you've never made your own hummus before. We love to dip carrots and cucumbers, but the veggies you pick are totally up to you.

Cooks with Cocktails

Bacon Wrapped Potatoes with Warm Apple Cream Cheese Dip

The apple cream cheese dip paired with these fluffy and crunchy potato bites will add a nice, sweet touch to your Christmas dinner table. It's safe to say that no one else will have an appetizer quite like this!

Averie Cooks

Cheesy Chicken Fritters

What's better than tender chicken, mozzarella that help prepare your taste buds for Christmas dinner? We highly suggest you cook this easy recipe.

Crowded Kitchen

Vegan Jalapeno Poppers

If you want something that's cheesy and gluten-free, try prepping these vegan jalapeño poppers for a spicy Christmas appetizer idea.

Kathryn's Kitchen

Hot Cheesy Spinach Dip

This tasty spinach dip is the icing on the cake for all the other holiday appetizers you'll be serving. Just ensure that you bake it to bubble perfection, that way your cheese pulls will be epic.

Pink Owl Kitchen

Southern Fried Green Tomatoes

Fried green tomatoes are a southern staple that 1000% deserve a seat at your Christmas table this year. The salty, crunchy outer contrasts beautifully with the tender inner veg, but the real magic lies within the dipping sauce you make to serve this app.

Vanilla and Bean

Olive Artichoke Crostini

If the idea of eating a finger sandwich doesn't sound fancy enough for your holiday soiree, this olive + artichoke crostini recipe is going to hit the spot. This Christmas appetizer is unbelievably easy too customize, too, so you can accomodate for the vegans and vegetarians in your life.

Woman Scribbles

Bang Bang Chicken

This recipe is a take on Bonefish Grill's famous Bang Bang Shrimp – yum! What makes this holiday appetizer recipe extra-special is that it doesn't exclude those who may have a seafood allergy, using chicken instead.

Clamato

Shrimp Cocktail

Should you have some seafood-lovers stopping by on Christmas, cater directly to them by whipping up this quick and easy shrimp cocktail recipe! Here's how to make it:

(via Clamato)

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb shrimp, deveined and chopped
  • 2 tsp fresh lemon juice
  • ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
  • 3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • ½ cup Clamato®
  • 1 teaspoon hot sauce
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 Hass avocado, diced
  • ½ mango, diced (optional)
  • Cilantro for garnish

Directions:

  1. In a bowl, add the lemon juice, olive oil, cilantro, sugar, Clamato, hot sauce, salt, and pepper.
  2. Stir for a few seconds and set the salsa aside.
  3. Add in the avocado, mango (if you like mango), and shrimp.
  4. Put the shrimp in a schooner-type glass and pour salsa on top.
  5. Garnish with cilantro and serve.

Find more recipes like these on our Pinterest and email newsletter! You can also check out our online cooking and baking classes for more inspo.

Additional reporting by Dana Sandonato, Chloe Williams, Jasmine Williams, and Meredith Holser.

This post has been updated.

Did you leave your family Thanksgiving dinner last year feeling like you were the one who got carved up and digested? You weren't alone. In an increasingly polarized sociological climate, family events where opinions differ can feel fraught with high stakes and conflicting moral obligations. And if you're already dreading Thanksgiving because all of the brawlin' that's sure to go down, you might be considering opting out of the festivities entirely.

In our Teach Me Something New podcast, Alexandra Carter, Columbia law professor and mediation expert, talks to Brit and Anj about the powers of persuasion to get the results you want in a conversation. The key to the Thanksgiving political discussion? Listening, asking open questions, and finding some common ground.

Here's what you can do to make it through Thanksgiving when your relatives just keep being problematic and things get awkward...

"I might say something like, 'I hear that you're concerned about national security and that's what led me to have this viewpoint.' So sometimes using a little bit of focusing on what you have in common can help you to have a civil conversation and not have anybody throwing mashed potatoes across the table," says Carter.

Here are more expert-backed tips for navigating the holiday awkwardness, even if it's just via Zoom. Make stuffing your face great again this Thanksgiving by implementing our seven-step plan.

Askar Abayev

1. Choose your battles ahead of time.

You're not going to change everyone's opinion about all of the things over the course of a meal and a football game. You might want to show up ready for a duel of words with your Facebook-meme-king cousin, but that's just going to put your opinionated family member on the offensive from the moment you walk in. Decide ahead of time if there's one issue that you really cannot keep your mouth shut about if it comes up, and have two or three talking points ready that clarify your position on that topic. If your hot button does get pushed, your talking points will help you keep from making things personal.

2. Confer with the host.

If you feel comfortable with the person that's organizing or hosting Thanksgiving, speak to him or her in advance about how you can be on Team Keep the Peace. Most people aren't keen on a political brouhaha breaking out around their dinner table, so they'll probably be relieved to hear that you're on board and willing to help make the day go smoothly for everyone. Brainstorm some ideas about seating arrangements or wholesome activities to fill the idle family time that can lead to trading barbs.

Element5 Digital

3. Make it a game.

Caitlin Bergstein, a Boston-based matchmaker and relationship expert for Three Day Rule, suggests a fun twist on the swear jar concept. “If your family is up for the challenge, you can even make it a game. Each time someone mentions something political, they have to put a dollar in a jar (or take a drink, depending on how your family celebrates the holiday). At the end of the night, that cash can be put aside for the next family get together!"

4. Have a moment of silence.

Sometimes the idea of a quiet table can be intimidating (all those chewing noises!), but encouraging a moment of reflection among your holiday guests can actually be transformative. Whether you observe several seconds of silence in honor of relatives you've lost, as a way to silently acknowledge your individual blessings, or as an act of prayer or meditation, you've hopefully brought the room back to focus on each other's company and the gift that it is to be together.

Monstera Production

5. Be an active listener.

If your one doggedlypersistent aunt can't let go of her obsession with the latest political scandal, reconsider what she's actually trying to tell you. Chances are, it's not just about what she saw on the news. “Assume that your polarizing relative actually probably just wants to connect, feel respected, and reduce their own anxiety about holiday gatherings, and interpret even difficult behavior as such," advises Mary Fisher, a Salt Lake City psychotherapist who specializes in family relationships. “Express the desire to connect while redirecting the conversation," Fisher recommends. Emphasize the fact that you're interested in protecting the time your family spends together. That can help soften the blow when you ask to instead hear them share a family memory or talk about a hobby you both share.

6. Disengage.

Remember that if angry words or offensive language start flying at you across the sweet potato pie, you don't have to respond. Have a script in mind to use, something like, “While I hear where you're coming from, I don't share your opinion, and I'm done talking about it today." Convey the message that you're quite clear on the matter being discussed, and you're not going to take the bait. You may have to repeat yourself several times, or you may choose to remain silent until things cool down around you. Either one is okay.

7. Duck out early.

If you feel like you have to retreat from the situation entirely, do it. One of the best things about being an adult is leaving when you want to leave. You don't have to subject yourself, your spouse, or your family to any kind of dialogue that is insulting, bigoted, or aggressive. Fisher shares these words of advice: “While we might think that the holidays are the time to resolve differences, they are actually the time to affirm and nurture connection, which can be an uphill battle with politically polarizing relatives." If you don't feel like a connection is being nurtured and the environment is not good for you to be in, say goodbye and make a break for it.

Looking for more holiday help this year? Be sure to sign up for our weekly newsletter so you never miss a thing!

This article has been updated from a previous post.

Step into the enchanting world of holiday cheer with my handpicked selection of Christmas cocktails that are more than just drinks, but sips of festive magic! These Christmas cocktails give the energy of warm fireplaces, joyful laughter, and glowing tree lights. Whether you're looking for something sparkling, something sweet, something spicy (and anything in between), there's a Christmas cocktail recipe for you here!

The tastiest Christmas cocktails you'll be sipping well into the new year

Spicy Fireball Cocktail

Brit + Co

Embrace the holiday spirit with a Spicy Fireball Cocktail – a winter twist on the classic Moscow mule. Quick to make and visually stunning, this cozy concoction features the warmth of Fireball whiskey and is perfect for Christmas gatherings, New Year celebrations, or any other festive occasion.

Mulled Cider with Cloved Oranges

Brit + Co

Filled with aromatic spices, citrusy notes, and a touch of sweetness, this delightful apple cider is not only perfect for cozy evenings, but also makes a charming stocking stuffer or hostess gift.

Chocolate Martini

Brit + Co

Make those cozy Christmas nights even cozier by shaking up this easy martini! All you need to make it is Baileys chocolate liqueur, vodka, espresso, and simple syrup.

Peppermint White Russian 

Brit + Co

You've never had a White Russian like this before! It's a tasty blend of vodka, coffee liqueur, peppermint schnapps, and heavy cream. With the peppermint on the rim, you'll be glad to boast a festive mint smile.

Rosé Mezcal Paloma

Brit + Co

Some Christmas cocktails look too pretty to drink, but you and guests will enjoy sipping this on December 25. It's light enough that you won't feel tipsy, but the flavor still packs the punch you're looking for.

Spiced Winter Mojito

Brit + Co

If you want a drink that feels like summer, this spiced winter mojito is going to give you what you need. With its cloves, star anise, and other tasty ingredients, you'll wonder why you haven't made this sooner.

Mulled Wine Hot Chocolate

Brit + Co

Combining aromatic mulled wine infused with orange and spices, this water-based cocoa sweetened with brown sugar creates a decadent and rich experience that will redefine your Christmas cocktail traditions.

Hot Buttered Rum

Brit + Co

This spiced and spirited Christmas cocktail, featuring a blend of softened butter, brown sugar, and aromatic spices, is the perfect way to chase away the chill and add a touch of festive warmth to your holiday.

Bourbon Cocktail 

Brit + Co

Embrace the holiday spirit with the perfect festive drink – the Butterscotch Bourbon Milk Punch. This bourbon cocktail, infused with the sweet notes of homemade butterscotch syrup, promises to add a touch of warmth and flavor to your Christmas celebrations.

“Naughty and Nice” Holiday Cocktails

Brit + Co

Host a festive holiday party with these DIY Naughty and Nice Coca-Cola cocktails. First, choose between decadent chocolate-cherry or refreshing rum concoction, then add a touch of holiday cheer with themed Coca-Cola bottles.

CITNB (Cranberry is the New Black) Cocktail

Brit + Co

Whether you opt for black vodka or infuse clear vodka with black food coloring, this stylish drink, featuring creme de cassis and sparkling cranberry juice, is a surefire way to impress your dinner guests with its bold and glamorous flair.

Coffee Holiday Cocktail

Brit + Co

This Christmas cocktail boasts a hearty mix of dark beer, room-temperature espresso, and a brown sugar cinnamon syrup, topped with whipped cream and sprinkles. If your celebrations need a little boost of boozy energy, this drink is the one for you.

Lemon Drop Martini

Brit + Co

This iconic zesty cocktail will complete this year's festive gatherings. Elevate your holiday celebration with this easy-to-make Lemon Drop Martini that combines sweet and sour in the tastiest way possible.

Ginger Minj's Sassy Caramel Apple Cocktail

Brit + Co

Not only is this Christmas cocktail on-theme with the red and green colors, but its flavors of apple and cinnamon also work to highlight the season. It's crafted with apple vodka, prosecco, Sour Apple Pucker, and a touch of lime juice.

Slow-Cooker Mulled Reisling

Brit + Co

This warm white wine concoction fills your home with a delightful aroma and ensures a worry-free celebration without the fear of carpet stains from merry spills.

Chai Hot Toddy

Brit + Co

This Chai Hot Toddy puts a grown-up twist on classic chai tea. Infused with spiced rum, cinnamon-infused milk, and a hint of vanilla, this warm and subtly spicy winter drink is perfect for sipping at your merry mistletoe gatherings.

Cranberry Pear Ginger Fizz

Brit + Co

Muddled cranberries, pear slices, and a hint of lime come together with gin and ginger beer, creating a vibrant and flavorful cocktail perfect for spreading seasonal cheer.

Chocolate Peppermint Stick Cocktail

Salt & Lavender

This festive drink brings together Baileys, Creme de Cacao, Peppermint Schnapps, and a crushed candy cane rim, creating a creamy and delicious experience.

The Merry & Bright Blackberry Spritz

Lauren Sephton/Waterloo

Blackberries and mint make a big holiday statement in this Christmas cocktail. To make it, fill 1/3 of a glass with Sauvignon Blanc, topping off the rest with Waterloo Blackberry Lemonade Sparkling Water. Add fresh blackberries on top and garnish with a mint sprig!

Holly Jolly Christmas Citrus Cocktail

Half Baked Harvest

Celebrate the season with this Holly Jolly Christmas Citrus Cocktail – vodka, St. Germain, and fresh citrus juice, topped with ginger beer and pomegranates.

S’mores Martini

Mixop

This velvety smooth cocktail, complete with a graham cracker rim and toasted marshmallow garnish, is a nostalgic treat perfect for festive gatherings or cozy holiday nights.

Jericalla

Mi Campo Tequila

This frothy Christmas cocktail provides a strong and sweet sip. To make it, shake 1.5 oz Mi Campo Reposado, ½ oz vanilla syrup, ½ oz fresh lime juice, and 1 egg white together in a shaker without ice. Then, add some ice, and shake vigorously again. Strain the mix into chilled glass and garnish with freshly grated nutmeg.

Cranberry Orange Mimosas

Completely Delicious

Made with just three ingredients – cranberry juice, freshly squeezed orange juice, and sparkling white wine – this Christmas cocktail recipe brings cheer to intimate gatherings and lively crowds alike.

Cranberry and Pomegranate Red Punch Recipe

Clean Cuisine

This naturally vibrant punch, featuring organic ingredients and superfood pomegranate powder, promises a more health-conscious addition to your Christmas celebrations.

Brandy Alexander Cocktail

Vikalinka

Creamy, luxurious, and just a bit cheeky, this decadent drink combines brandy, creme de cacao, and double cream topped with a dash of freshly grated nutmeg. Perfect for sipping alongside your fam's fave Christmas movie!

Sherry Old Fashioned

Virginia Distillery Co.

If you're feeling extra-crafty this Christmas season, make your own fig syrup for this cocktail by steeping fresh figs into your go-to simple syrup recipe. Once that's squared away, mix 1.5 oz Courage & Conviction Sherry Single Cask, 2 tsp fig syrup, and 2-3 dashes of black walnut bitters to form the drink, then add a fresh fig slice or an orange peel for garnish.

Christmas Cranberry Mojito

The Endless Meal

Crafted with homemade spiced cranberry syrup, mint, and a touch of fizz, this Christmas cocktail is perfect for spreading holiday cheer at parties and cozy gatherings. Get ready to enjoy it in just 20 minutes!

Christmas Margarita

Mixop

This zingy blend of tequila, Grand Marnier, cranberry juice, and a hint of rosemary brings joy to your taste buds, making it the perfect Christmas cocktail.

The Grinch Cocktail

Crowded Kitchen

With its vibrant green color and optional sprinkle rim, this cocktail is the perfect companion for your adult holiday celebrations, as long as you're not a Grinch about it!

Jac's on Bond Bodega Buns Cocktail

Jac's on Bond

Oh, honey! This luscious Christmas cocktail emulates the sticky sweetness of Honey Buns mixed with notes of gin, pineapple, and lemon. You'll infuse a small batch of Ford's gin with Honey Buns first before shaking 2 oz of it with .5 oz pineapple juice, .5 oz lemon juice, .5 oz simply syrup, and a pinch of Maldon salt, and straining into a coupe glass.

“The Bodega Buns is the unexpectedly harmonious marriage of a “tropical” gimlet and the bodega classic Honey Bun," says Trevor Langer, Head Bartender at NYC's Jac’s on Bond. "The odd couple pairing brings out the best tasting quality in one another and subdue what some can consider less desirable. I.e. the sharpness of the gin and brightness from the citrus cut the cloying sweetness one may experience when eating a packaged cake, whilst still allowing that delectable bready note to still be present. My favorite thing to hear, which happens most times people try this drink for the first time is: ‘That literally tastes like a Honeybun!’”

Buddy the Elf Cocktail

Half Baked Harvest

This festive cocktail combines vodka, Kahlua, maple syrup, vanilla, molasses, cinnamon, and ginger for the most holiday flavor you're ever had in a single drink. Buddy would definitely approve of the sweetness!

Cranberry Mocktail 

Crowded Kitchen

Whether you're abstaining, the designated driver, or just prefer skipping the booze, this festive NA drink is perfect for everyone at the Christmas dinner able.

Apple Pie Martini

Proper No. Twelve

Shake 2 oz Proper Irish Apple, 2 oz Irish Cream Liqueur, and a dash of cinnamon together to make this decadent Christmas cocktail! Once it's shook and strained, pour the mix into a martini glass rimmed with crushed graham cracker and garnish with cinnamon.

Candy Cane Martini

Mixop

Mix some vanilla vodka, crème de menthe, half & half, and crushed candy canes to craft this Christmas cocktail. It's *so* creamy and perfectly balanced for the festivities!

Old Saint Nick’s Chocolate Espresso Martini

Half Baked Harvest

This Christmas cocktail doubles as a chocolatey holiday treat, adorned with chocolate fudge sauce and candy garnishes. Think of this recipe as the perfect nightcap that captures the essence of Christmas and adds a touch of elegance to your celebrations.

Pink Holiday Cocktail

Mixop

This festive drink blends vodka, raspberry liqueur, cranberry juice, grapefruit juice, lime juice, and simple syrup to bring color and joy into your Christmas gatherings.

Peppermint White Russian

Crowded Kitchen

What could be better than a mix of coffee liqueur, peppermint schnapps, and coconut milk, garnished with a candy cane rim? This Christmas cocktail has a super rich and decadent finish for holiday hosting.

Santa Baby Cocktail

Crowded Kitchen

Sparkling raspberry rosé, Chambord, and a touch of glitter adds a magical twist to this Christmas cocktail. Toast to the season by serving this recipe in fancy glasses!

Cranberry Bourbon Sour

The Endless Meal

Sip on the holiday spirit with a Cranberry Bourbon Sour, a festive twist on the classic cocktail. Made with 100% cranberry juice, it boasts a naturally sweet-tart flavor and a vibrant ruby hue – a perfect addition to your seasonal celebrations, ready in just 5 minutes! (via The Endless Meal)

Espresso Mint-tini

Mr. Black

Combine your favorite flavors of coffee and mint with this updated martini recipe! Here's what you'll need to create the perfect Christmas cocktail if you're not ready to part ways with caffeine for the holidays:

Ingredients

1.5oz Mr Black

0.75 Don Julio Reposado

1oz Espresso or Cold Brew Concentrate

0.25 oz Giffard Menthe Pastille

Recipe

Add ingredients to cocktail shaker with ice and shake super hard for 15 seconds.

Strain into your prepared coupe and garnish with a mini candy cane.

Playing host this holiday season? Sign up for our email newsletter to get all the recipe inspo you need!

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

Well, if it isn’t another Starbucks menu leak! This go-around – courtesy of food blogger @markie_devo – speculates an exciting drop of 4 new drinks, 2 new snacks, and one very long-awaited reformulation to Starbucks’ matcha powder (at least, according to matcha fanatics like me). New items are rumored to drop on January 2 and February 4, 2025.

Scroll on to see everything rumored to join the Starbucks January (& February!) menu at the top of 2025!

Of the 4 new drinks is a traditional café staple – the cortado – that Starbucks has never served before. It’s rumored to be made with shots of the chain’s “higher profile” ristretto espresso.

It also appears as though Starbucks is finally rethinking their approach to matcha lattes. Their current matcha powder comes pre-sweetened, enough to bulk up a single drink with 29 whopping grams of sugar. But, the new (rumored) powder will come “completely unsweetened” and only be sweetened with Starbucks’ classic syrup by default. Plus, the menu leak claims baristas will prepare matcha lattes in a blender moving forward – rather than a shaker – to better infuse the matcha powder for a smoother sip.

The menu leak comes about a month after Starbucks announced they’re no longer charging extra for alternative milk.

All in all, the leaked Starbucks winter menu for 2025 suggests that the chain is making small strides towards authenticity – perhaps a reflection of new CEO Brian Niccol‘s vision to return “back to Starbucks.”

Drinks On The Leaked 2025 Starbucks Winter Menu

Starbucks UK

NEW! Cortado

Starbucks' cortado debut will reportedly include 3 ristretto shots of blonde espresso and steamed whole milk. Ristretto shots are essentially more condensed than your traditional shot of espresso – they use half the amount of water for a more concentrated, sweeter taste.

Due to the traditional construction of a cortado, this drink will only be available in Starbucks' short size.

This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.

NEW! Brown Sugar Oat Milk Cortado

The Brown Sugar Oat Milk Cortado is speculated to follow the same recipe, but swaps whole milk for oat milk and adds brown sugar syrup and cinnamon to the mix. It's extremely similar to the chain's popular Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso. It looks delish.

This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.

@markie_devo

NEW! Blackberry Sage Refresher

Now this is how you do a flavor combo. Like most Starbucks Refreshers, this rumored iteration will be available to order as a plain Refresher or with lemonade.

This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.

Starbucks

Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Crème Frappuccino

This blended frozen bev hit the Starbucks menu back in February 2024, just in time for Valentine's Day (AKA the best holiday ever)! It's supposed to taste just like chocolate-covered strawberries, which makes me want a sip ASAP.

This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.

NEW! Chocolate Hazelnut Cookie Cold Brew

Hazelnut syrup and chocolate cream cold foam make this cold brew sweet as can be. It gets topped with some cookie crumbles for a fun texture, too. I love hazelnut and chocolate flavors respectively, so when mixed together, it's gotta be tasty!

This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.

Starbucks

Pistachio Latte

Oh, I can't wait until the Pistacho Latte is back on the menu. Let's hope the rumors are true!

This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.

Pistachio Cream Cold Brew

Speculated to join the famed Pistacho Latte is the Pistachio Cream Cold Brew, which layers a creamy layer of pistachio-infused cold foam on top of Starbucks' strong cold brew.

This drink is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.

Food On The Leaked 2025 Starbucks Winter Menu

@markie_devo

NEW! Spicy Falafel Pocket

Ooh, this new food item is vegan, according to menu leaks! It's rumored to include smashed falafel, creamy hummus, roasted red bell peppers, pickled onions, and a spicy herb sauce inside a toasted piece of lavash flatbread. Plus, it'll include a dippable cup of Bitchin' Sauce, which I am practically addicted to. I can't wait to try this one!

This item is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.

@markie_devo

Vanilla Bean Custard Danish

This danish is just like Starbucks' classic Cheese Danish, but leans sweeter, thanks to the vanilla bean.

This item is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on January 2, 2025.

@markie_devo

NEW! Valentine Cake Pop

Finally, this adorable little cake pop – Valentine's-themed, no less – flaunts a cute heart design with flavors of vanilla and buttercream.

This item is rumored to join the Starbucks winter menu on February 4, 2025.

Subscribe to our newsletter for more updates on the Starbucks winter menu for 2025!