Expert Tips for Loving the Relationship You’re In

Social media can be pretty awesome. It’s home to support groups, food blogs, and Mindy Kaling’s Instagram account. Being exposed to different images, places, ideas, and people through the lens of apps such as Facebook and Snapchat can inspire us and broaden our worldviews, but social media can be a double-edged sword. The cost of inspiration and entertainment is often the curse of comparison; social networking apps can create unrealistic standards and make us feel less confident in ourselves. That trend can hold true when it comes to our relationships too. We chatted with Bianca Rodriguez, a licensed marriage and family therapist, about ways to curb the habit.

“The most important thing to remember when you are scrolling through social media is that it is fiction loosely tied to real events,” Rodriguez says. “It’s a highlight reel of socially acceptable activities and achievements with a sprinkle of fairy dust and Photoshop.” A picture might be worth a thousand words, but even a thousand words don’t make up an entire story. Most of us know that social media isn’t reality, but Rodriguez encourages her clients to consider just how unrealistic social media can be at times. “No matter how perfect that family portrait looks online, there is a messy story behind it,” Rodriguez reminds us. “And what’s ironic is that it’s the mess that makes it so valuable because we have to fight for our relationships and work through the challenges.”

Therein lies the key: Most of the time, the mess behind the picture is beautiful too. We can’t possibly expect ourselves (or anyone else, for that matter) to air their dirty laundry and insecurities on public platforms. There’s a reason people choose to put their best foot forward online, so it makes sense that our online personas (and relationships) are a shinier, more perfect version than the real thing. The trouble comes when we stop assuming the same of others.

If you feel caught in this cycle of comparison, Rodriguez recommends looking inward at your own insecurities and desires. More specifically, she recommends that “you investigate what feelings are surfacing, allow yourself to experience them, and then devise a solution that supports your well-being.”

In this process, it might be helpful to consult a good friend or even your partner. For example, if looking at pictures of couples who travel the world together makes your relationship feel boring in comparison, your feelings might be telling you that you crave more spontaneity and adventure in your relationship. No matter what social media makes you feel about you and your partner, unpacking your feelings together might help you both take steps toward an even better relationship.

In addition to some reflection, Rodriguez recommends a social media hiatus — even if it’s only for a day. Taking a step back from those triggers will deepen your understanding of your own insecurities and desires about your own relationship, and will allow you to focus solely on your connection.

How do you curb social media comparison? Let us know @BritandCo!

(Photo via Getty)

If you've been online recently, then I'm sure you've become all too familiar with the #tradwife aesthetic — and the ladies who come along with it and dominate our FYP's at the moment. The two that you've probably seen the most? Ballerina Farm and Nara Smith.

Nara Smith took the internet by storm with her "from scratch" meals she makes while simultaneously raising her three kids and modeling alongside her husband at just 22 years old. Nara begins just about every video with, "My kids woke up and told me they wanted ___ so I decided to make it." And she proceeds to cook her "from completely scratch" meal for whatever her kids or husband want that day — all while in full glam and a gown.

She's loved and loathed at the same time, but regardless you can't look away. Her content, among so many other tradwife creators, portrays a life deemed "simple," but leaves viewers feeling that it may not actually be attainable. It opens up a wider conversation around societal expectation of women, and how these "aesthetic" lifestyles may be damaging to women's overall esteem.

This then makes us ask the question: does Nara Smith actuallyauthentically live out this unrealistic lifestyle every day? Or is it simply a show she puts on for social media? After compiling some of Nara's most unhinged and unrealistic videos, I talked to clinical psychologist Dr. Charlynn Ruan and mental health professional Natalie Rosado to get their opinion on this new #tradwife lifestyle. Here's what I found out!

What is a tradwife?

A tradwife is just short for "traditional wife," meaning that a woman falls into the more stereotypical or traditional roles for women in society — think cooking, cleaning, domestication, or homemaking. None of these acts are inherently negative or punitive for a tradwife, but simply the way they live their lives and lean into those traditional roles.

Is this attainable for most women?

Dr. Charlynn Ruan, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group, explains that it's not harmful for a woman to choose to be a homemaker "as long as she is in an arrangement that protects her financially and otherwise." For most women, however, this lifestyle is solely dependent on your partner. You cannot work a full-time job, raise your children, be a wife, and cook completely from scratch every single day. Even the recent Sunday Times article featuring Ballerina Farm suggests that she would lay in bed for weeks from exhaustion trying to keep with this lifestyle.

Given how dependent this lifestyle ultimately is, Dr. Charlynn recommends that you have an arrangement in place that protects you from solely relying on your partner to take care of you financially. She says that her concern is that women aren't seeing the long term consequences of the “tradwife” role and are instead inextricably linking one’s financial stability and wellbeing with one’s relationship. This has, historically, not often worked out well for women.

Can the tradwife lifestyle be harmful?

Photo by Florida Memory on Unsplash

While the tradwife trend may seem fun to consume, it could potentially have longterm mental health effects that we have yet to see. I talked to licensed mental health professional, Natalie Rosado, to ask what implications this may have and she said it affects these spheres of womanhood:

  • Autonomy: These women are portraying a deflection of self, instead focusing on the servitude of their family. Which can be an incredible gift, and joy for many, but the content is primarily focused on the servitude of others, thus communicating the message that autonomy/independence as a woman doesn't matter.
  • Unrealistic Expectations: Rosado says that this new fad is enchanting to look at but is subconsciously romanticizing an unrealistic expectation of motherhood and family roles. She said that this could be detrimental to mental health because it can create immense pressure on women to live up to these standards, leading to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and low self-esteem when they inevitably fall short.
  • Mental Health Risks: Women have increasingly high expectations put on them by so many people: society, their families, their husbands, their kids, other women. So this is just creating another layer of expectations for them to meet, which, however unrealistic, will make women guilty that they are not meeting these standards.
  • Perpetuation of Gender Stereotypes: Rosado says that this aesthetic reinforces outdated gender stereotypes, which can hinder any progress we may have made toward gender equality. She says that this perpetuation suggests a woman's primary value lies in only her domestic abilities. This way of thinking can be incredibly damaging to her sense of worth and potential.
This trending topic continues to open up a wider conversation on what it means to be a woman in today's society. If we were to rewind 60-70 years to the 1950's or 1960's, then this would be a commonality. But in today's modern world, women are already expected to do so much on top of being a homemaker, and this trend may be only adding to that.

Who is Nara Smith?

www.instagram.com

Nara Smith was essentially deemed the mom of the tradwife trend, based on her Tiktok claim to fame for creating outlandishly fresh, "from scratch" meals in full glam and a gown at six in the morning. Smith is only 23 years old, but is already a mom to three children, stepmom to another child, wife, model, content creator, and homemaker. Her husband, Lucky Blue Smith, is also a Tumblr "It Boy" turned model. They married each other quite young, and immediately started having children to start a family. The two now live in Texas, but previously lived in L.A. and Germany (where Nara's family is from).

Smith started off with rather simple recipes like easy Mediterranean dishes, but the more followers she gained, the progressively more difficult she made her dinners and the more elaborate gowns she wore. It became clear that she was going to play into this "tradwife" culture as much as possible.

Why does she live this lifestyle?

Grace O'Driscoll

While I've come to enjoy this content, it can definitely be bit jarring when it's noon on a Sunday and I still haven't cooked breakfast — and definitely not from scratch. And although Smith may have multiple nannies or family members watching her kids while she films all of this, her content becomes much more relatable when you realize that it stems from her having debilitating eczema that is caused by what she eats so she cooks from scratch to prevent that. So although Smith's recipes have gotten more and more elaborate and untouchable, it takes a sweeter tone when you realize that she's cooking from scratch in order to give her and her family a healthy lifestyle that doesn't cause her skin to flair up.

I know from experience, having eczema myself, some of the products in America can be particularly unhealthy and modified so it makes complete sense that she would want to protect herself — and her skin — from that. Especially since, her parents are from South Africa and Germany, where the food is a bit more healthy and less processed.

Is there a positive impact when it comes to tradwives?

While this trend has its implications, there are many who say that — like any fad on social media — it has to be taken with a grain of salt. You have to view it as fiction, because that's partly what it is. There aren't many average people who have the ability and resources to wake up before a 9-5 to make three meals from scratch in a full face of makeup and dress — it's simply unrealistic.

So, if you take tradwife videos as fiction — like most reality shows — then you're able to take a step back and enjoy it for what it is: content and inspiration. In the case of Smith, she's a stunningly gorgeous woman with a sweet family and a penchant for recreating complicated and elaborate meals. You can either ignore it, or enjoy it! I can definitely say that I decided to make a few of Smith's recipes myself...they were failures, but I still tried!

The point is, this content can be fun! And as someone who's watched far more videos than I'd like to admit, I've definitely seen a ton of moments that are so outlandish and entertaining that I have to wonder if Smith is trolling us. So, I present to you five moments where Nara Smith went so tradwife that I'm not sure what's real and what's fake.

Nara Smith Makes Her Own Cheese

@naraazizasmith absolute perfection 🫶🏽 #easyrecipe#homemade#baking#toddlersoftiktok#grilledcheese#fypシ♬ Me Cry - NGOTUAN NGUYX

One of the first times I came across Nara Smith was when she made grilled cheese. I remember thinking, "Oh that's great that she makes her own bread — how cute." Then she began to curdle and cook her own cheese, and I was fascinated immediately. This isn't your average home-cooked meal, this is a tradwife home-cooked meal. With fresh baked bread and cheese for her toddlers upon request.

Nara Cooks A Mediterranean Meal In A Gown

@naraazizasmith family dinners 🥺 #easyrecipe#homecooking#fypツ#mediterranean#dinnerideas♬ Just Give Me One More Day - Alej

This next video came on my FYP, and I realized that she has to be playing into this narrative that people have created of her: the picture perfect "tradwife." And it's smart! In fact, it's a genius marketing tactic. People are already talking about how crazy she is for getting glammed up to cook from scratch, so why not make it even crazier? Honestly, I love it. The more unattainable it is, the less guilty I feel for not being able to cook at all most days. The more the lore intertwines with reality, the more digestible it becomes.

Nara Smith Cooks Crepe In Chanel

@naraazizasmith Oh my… what do you like on your crepes or pancakes?🫶🏽 #easyrecipe#homecooking#dessert#fypツ#crepes#marriage♬ La vie en rose (Cover Edith Piaf) - 田东昱

Only Nara Smith could make home-made Nutella and crepes in a full Chanel Ready-To-Wear outfit that costs upwards of $20,000. In this video, she makes her own home-made Nutella with hazelnuts that she roasted and cooked herself. Then she proceeds to make the crepe from scratch as well. Let's hope she didn't leave a scratch on her Chanel outfit, because that's an expensive mistake. But then again, with her over 9 million followers, she can probably afford it!

Nara Smith Makes Home-Made Bubblegum

@naraazizasmith this was fun! What’s your favorite roadtrip snack? #easyrecipes#homecooking#fypツ#candy#bubblegum♬ Just Give Me One More Day - Alej

In typical Nara Smith fashion, she makes her own bubblegum! I didn't even know this was possible (a phrase I constantly utter when watching her videos), but it's fun to think about doing. It seems relatively easy, and I'd imagine it's quite yummy! This is an unhinged moment that people have been loving to recreate! BRB, adding the ingredients to my cart right now...

Lucky Smith Makes Sunscreen

@naraazizasmith 🤍 #fypツ#easyrecipe#sun#fromscratch#skincare#marriage♬ Just Give Me One More Day - Alej

In this incredibly unhinged moment, Nara has her husband make sunscreen from scratch... that's right. Sunscreen. While this may be fun to watch, dermatologists have come out to say how very dangerous and irresponsible this is to do yourself. This video has to be one of her most unhinged and controversial videos, which occurred after she made her own toothpaste in a separate video. Let's keep to the FDA approved ones for now, folks!

So what do you think? Is Nara being genuine, or is this all a silly internet trend she's just playing into? While I haven't decided for myself...I'll definitely still be watching!

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There are a lot of celebrity couples we love (Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce! Katy Perry & Orlando Bloom!), but if you ask me, nobody handles having a relationship in the spotlight like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. This hilarious duo protects their kids, but they're also always down for a good time.

The couple first met in 2010 while filming Green Lantern, which has quickly become regarded as Ryan Reynolds' worst movie (the actor said he'd "genuinely rather watch just a f—ing 24-hour marathon of PAW Patrol). But, in addition to the fact I didn't think the movie was all that bad, it also gave the world the gift of Ryan & Blake's relationship. The couple quickly fell in love, tying the knot in 2010. Since then, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have had four children (James, Inez, Betty, and Olin), launched a variety of brands like Betty Buzz, Aviation Gin, and Blake Brown Beauty, and given Hollywood some of its most iconic movies — all while supporting and praising one another. Keep reading for their full relationship timeline.

Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds' Full Relationship Timeline

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How did Blake and Ryan meet?

2010 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Meet While Filming Green Lantern

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds met on the Green Lantern set. After they filmed the movie, they ended up going out with other people, but hitting it off with each other.

"We were buddies for a long time, which I think is the best way to have a relationship, to start as friends," Ryan Reynolds said in an interview with SiriusXM's Entertainment Weekly Radio in 2016. "About a year after Green Lantern had come and gone and we were both single, we went on a double date — she was on a date with another guy, and I was on a date with another girl — and it was like the most awkward date for the respective parties because we were just like fireworks coming across."

Their relationship quickly evolved to the one we know and love today!

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

October 22, 2011 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Reportedly Start Dating

After Blake and Ryan (along with their dogs) were spotted outside a Boston apartment, a source told People: “They are very much a couple. They’re really happy together.”

Blake Lively revealed that at the start of their relationship, Ryan gave her a bouquet every single week. "When my husband and I first got together, he would send me a bouquet of flowers every week, but he would always send a card and it would just be a sentence of something that had happened that week," the actress tells People. "Something funny or emotional that one of us said."

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September 9, 2012 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Get Married

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds said "I do" in September of 2012. The wedding had a children's choir & a Florence Welch performance, paper lanterns, and a sour cream wedding cake with peach-apricot preserves, according to People. But the planning didn't go as smoothly as one might hope.

"Our wedding was becoming a disaster, and we didn't know what to do, so we called Martha!" BlakeLively told Vogue in 2014. "She said, 'Don't worry. I'll handle it.' She sent her team down to save us."

The wedding took place at Boone Hall Plantation, a former slave plantation in South Carolina, a location the couple is "unreservedly sorry for," Reynolds told Fast Company in 2020.

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

May 5, 2014 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Make Their Red Carpet Debut

At the 2014 "Charles James: Beyond Fashion" Met Gala, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds looked glamorous and sophisticated with Blake's Gucci Première gown with rose gold details and Ryan's dark blue velvet tux.

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December 16, 2014 — Blake Lively Gives Birth To Her First Child

Blake first announced her pregnancy on her since-closed website Preserve. She told Vogue in July 2014 how excited she was to start a family with Ryan. “He’s going to be a great father and leader and patriarch—he’s so meant to be all of those things," she said. "The fact that he lived so much before we got together, he’s the exact realized person that he should be.”

"They are absolutely ecstatic and just so ready for this. It is the perfect time in their lives to start this new chapter; they are so in love and are going to be amazing parents," a Peoplesource said at the time.

Ryan Reynolds confirmed their first daughter James' birthday on December 16, 2015, when he tweeted, "Happy birthday to my baby girl! Sad I lost my virginity. But thankful I have a daughter."

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for Target

September 30, 2016 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Welcome Their Second Child

Two years after giving birth to James, US Weekly confirmed Blake Lively (who was filming The Shallows at the time) was pregnant with baby number 2! “Blake is absolutely thrilled and so is Ryan,” the source told People.

Blake Lively gave birth to Inez on September 30, 2016.

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May 2, 2019 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Walk Detective Pikachu Red Carpet, And Announce Baby Number 3

At the New York premiere for Detective Pikachu, Blake Lively surprised fans by showing off a baby bump and announcing her third pregnancy! Their daughter Betty was born on October 4, 2019.

Ryan Reynolds confirmed the baby was a girl in an October 16 tweet, while Taylor Swift revealed the baby's name in "Betty" from her 2020 album Folklore.

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue

May 2, 2022 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Stun At The 2022 Met Gala

As Met Gala co-chairs, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds pulled out all the stops for their iconic looks. Blake's art deco gown was the perfect nod to New York, and represented Grand Central Station and the Statue of Liberty. Ryan looked very handsome in a black velvet tux.

Blake Lively/Instagram

February 2023 — Blake Lively Gives Birth To Her Fourth Child With Ryan Reynolds

After showing up to the 10th Annual Forbes Power Women's Summit with a baby bump in September, Blake unofficially announced the birth of their fourth baby (whom we now know is named Olin) with an Instagram post that shows the actress without a baby bump.

"Puppy Bowl Sunday 2023🥘 🍲 🥧 been busy," she says in the February 12 post.

Blake Lively/Instagram

July 26, 2024 — Blake Lively And Her Kids Make A Deadpool 3 Cameo

After fan speculation that Deadpool & Wolverine would either include Blake Lively or Taylor Swift, we were over the moon to see Blake make a (masked) cameo, along with Inez and Olin!

"In 2010, @robliefeld drew an unmasked Lady Deadpool for the first time," she says on Instagram. "@deadpoolmovie wasn’t real. And Rob had no idea I was working with @vancityreynolds. 12 years later I read Rob’s post. A year after that, @deadpoolmovie 3 was filmed. And today it’s in theaters. The universe has such a magical sense of humor sometimes."

Blake Lively & BFF Gigi Hadid also revealed that Ryan Reynolds loves a girls' night, which is information I didn't know I needed.

Cindy Ord/Getty Images

August 6, 2024 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Attends It Ends With Us Premiere

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds love to support each other at their movie premieres, but it goes way deeper than that. "He works on everything I do, I work on everything he does. So his wins, his celebrations are mine and mine are his," Blake told E! News. "The iconic rooftop scene [in It Ends With Us], my husband actually wrote it."

At the New York premiere for the new Blake Lively movie, Blake and Ryan shared a moment that proves they belong together. While heading to talk to People on the carpet, Blake Lively leans over and grabs Ryan Reynolds' butt. And the funniest part is that Ryan doesn't even turn around.

"He didn’t even react because It happens so often," one user jokes in the comments, while another says, "I love the respect that they have for each other - with love! Yes that her man!"

Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images For Entertainment Weekly

September 9, 2024 — Blake Lively And Ryan Reynolds Celebrate Their 12th Wedding Anniversary

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have been married for 14 years as of September 9, 2024. And the couple remains closer than ever. "Blake and Ryan are a great team when it comes to both their family and work," a source told People. "They're super supportive of each other. He's very proud of her. They have a great marriage and love to celebrate everything they created together."

What is the age difference between Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds?

Richard Harbaugh/Disneyland Resort via Getty Images

Blake Lively was born on August 25, 1987, meaning she just turned 37. Ryan Reynolds, who was born on October 23, 1976, is 47. They have a 9-year age gap.

Was Blake Lively married before Ryan Reynolds?

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Ryan Reynolds is Blake Lively's first husband, but before they got married, the actress dated her Gossip Girl costar Penn Badgley and also reportedly dated Leonardo DiCaprio. Ryan Reynolds was married to MCU & Jurassic World: Rebirth star Scarlett Johansson from 2008 to 2010.

Is Blake Lively in any of Ryan Reynolds' movies?

Paramount Pictures

Yes, Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have been in the same movies! After meeting during the production of Green Lantern, Blake Lively has a role as an imaginary friend in Ryan Reynolds' IF. This spring movie follows Ryan Reynolds' character and his neighbor Bea, who set out to save all the imaginary friends. The movie also stars director John Krasinski, Cailey Fleming, Fiona Shaw, Alan Kim, Liza Colón-Zayas, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Louis Gossett Jr., and Steve Carell.

Blake Lively, Inez, and Olin also had roles in Deadpool & Wolverine as Ladypool, Kidpool, and Babypool. Blake's appearance in the movie had been a fan theory for such a long time, and I was so excited to see it come to life!

Who is Blake Lively's half sister?

Christopher Polk/Getty Images for People's Choice Awards

Blake Lively's half-sister is Robyn Lively. Robyn also works in Hollywood, just like Blake's brother Eric Lively and brother-in-law Bart Johnson. Robyn and Blake have also acted together — Robyn made a cameo in It Ends With Us during one of the opening scenes!

Check back here for the latest news on this lovable celebrity couple. Check out Blake Lively's Daughters Had The Cutest Reaction To Taylor Swift Singing Their Names Onstage for more.

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We all have big feelings. And thanks to social media and rising levels of anxiety, those feelings, well, feel bigger than ever. That’s exactly where resources like Wondermind come in. The self-proclaimed “mental health ecosystem” is all about exploring, discussing, and navigating our emotions together. This Mental Health Awareness Month, Wondermind wants you to live your mental health journey in community because Mandy Teefey, who co-founded the company with daughter Selena Gomez, knows what it’s like to walk that journey alone.

Image via Wondermind

“As I went through a very long journey of finding I did have a mental health diagnosis — and then I was misdiagnosed and then I had to go through that — I was blessed to have the resources to do that,” Teefey, who received an ADHD and trauma diagnosis after a 20-year bipolar misdiagnosis, says. “Whenever I started my journey of discovering what mental condition I had…I didn't have anybody to lean into or explain the way I was feeling.”

While these personal experiences helped Teefey better understand mental health, it wasn’t until she produced Netflix’s 2017 series 13 Reasons Whythat she saw just how far the mental health conversation goes. The hit show went viral almost as soon as it aired because of its realistic depiction of mental health and all the aftershocks of trauma.

“After we did 13 Reasons Why and saw the reaction and the need for that support, me and Selena were trying to really figure out what could be next,” Teefey says. “Everybody was releasing things [at] different times. It's like you have to have 12 apps to have a program, and then remember to use them all. So that's when we decided to create a mental fitness ecosystem. So it's all-encompassing, but there's something for everyone.”

“We're not a medicinal company [but] we do have an advisory committee that oversees everything that we do,” Teefey continues. “We're technically not doctors, but we are for everyone when it comes to feelings. Everybody has feelings and they can go to our content hub and just kind of explore that for a while.”

Image via Brit + Co

Admittedly, that exploration bit is pretty fun. The articles are inspiring, and the worksheets (which are each created by an expert) are incredibly helpful. Seeing every program, article, and podcast episode feels like an opportunity to start fresh, but once you have all the ideas in front of you, what do you actually do? Teefey recommends journaling, even if it’s just a sentence every day. (She also loves watching journaling videos from Planning Annie: “Anytime I'm feeling sad or like a little unmotivated, I put her on.”)

Journaling every day, even if your entries are short, allows you to track your mood over an extended period of time. If you notice a consistent sadness, for example, it could be a sign it’s time to check in with your doctor. Plus, journaling can help prepare you for the conversations mental health appointments bring up.

“Sometimes if you go into a therapy session and you're not really settled or concrete in who you are and what may be going on, you might go through what I went through, which is being misdiagnosed,” Teefey says. “It's more important for you to know who you are and what you need prior to going in. So you can give that to them instead of them guessing and working around that process with you.”

Image via Brit + Co

Establishing a consistent routine can help decrease your stress, whether you’re eating the same breakfast every day, or you stick to a tried and true skincare regimen like Sydney Sweeney’s Cassie does on Euphoria. I immediately thought of this teen drama when Mandy Teefey mentioned how important her 4 a.m. routine is. But while Cassie spends time doing her skincare and makeup, Teefey spends time nurturing her soul.

“If I don't have [that routine], I'm usually really off kilter,” she says. “So I get up at 4 when everyone's still asleep, and I found that time could be about me, and I'm not taking it away from anybody. And so that's really what helped me be more grounded throughout the day.”

I can attest that my own quiet time in the morning is vital for a successful day — as is knowing what my boundaries need to be. Because honestly, boundaries can change daily! Teefey and I both acknowledge we have to stay away from sad music to protect our mental health, and she also recommends staying off social media when you feel your mental health struggling.

“I can go three days without looking at social media and then when I go on there, I start having anxiety because I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh, I haven't liked this person. I haven't even liked our own pictures [for] Wondermind.’ And then I start feeling guilty,” she says. “There's just some kind of [expectation] to do social media and you really don't. Not everybody needs to know everything, you know? There's beauty in privacy.”

Even Selena Gomez admitted at the 2024 Time100 Summit that taking time off Instagram "was the most rewarding gift I gave myself."

Image via Brit + Co

The idea of staying off social media is way easier said than done (speaking from first hand experience here). If you feel like you’re drowning in engagement announcements, anxiety-inducing news, and FOMO, Teefey recommends keeping tabs on your reactions to gauge when it’s time to take a serious break.

“If it invokes any emotion that is a negative emotion, I [know] it's not worth being angry about, it's not worth losing sleep about,” she says. “It just feels like there's an unintentional taunting on social media and, ‘Wait a minute, is that about me?’ You don't know this person and then you start running with all this stuff in your mind.”

Like every area of life, social media is all about balance, and if you’re looking to unplug while still staying informed, Mandy Teefey recommends bringing a journal with you when doing your morning news scroll — that way, you can process emotions while keeping tabs on what’s happening. “If anything evokes emotion, I'm meditating during the quiet time,” she says.

Studies have found journaling can help decrease your anxiety, and that it can help you break obsessive thought cycles. And while you’re the only one who can process your thoughts and emotions, it’s important not to isolate yourself from your community — especially when you’re struggling. “You gotta build trust and you gotta build the boundary of who you volunteer [your] help to,” she says.

When it comes to her own daughters, Mandy Teefey knows it’s a process. “You have to work with them and meet them where they're at, and then see the help they need and don't assume [they’re going through] what you went through,” she says. “You've got to really understand them to be able to give that advice.”

Image via Natalie Rhea

In her own life, Mandy Teefey got to experience building that trust first-hand with Selena Gomez! “One time it was very, very cold in California and me and Selena were on the opposite sides of the pool,” she says. “We were in sweats and she says, ‘Do you trust me?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And she goes ‘Okay, if you trust me, on three, we're gonna jump in this ice cold pool.’”

While Teefey wasn’t convinced, she trusted Gomez, and they both ended up in the freezing cold water! Which is both a funny story and a fond memory: “We couldn't get out of the pool because [our clothes were] so heavy. It was madness!”

“There's a lot of things I know my daughters don't tell me and that's their right,” she continues. “It's so sensitive between teenagers — especially teenagers — and their parents. They're going through that phase and they don't want to be around them and they don't wanna tell them things. It's definitely not easy but maybe put some feelers out there and just make sure that they know you're there and make it okay to have these conversations.”

Thanks to all this actionable advice, we know that Mental Health Awareness month isn’t limited to TikTok videos or Instagram posts we can reshare. There are real tips we can use to take care of ourselves — and a place to go when we need a boost.

Watch Our Full Interview With Mandy Teefey Here!

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Wondermind Co-Founder Mandy Teefey Helps Us Navigate Big Feelings For Mental Health Awareness Month

If you're struggling with your mental health, check in with your doctor or check out the mental health resources Wondermind offers. You can also use Psychology Today to find a therapist near you.

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Blake Lively is as multifaceted as they come. She's an actress who has starred in titles like Gossip Girl, A Simple Favor, and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (plus It Ends With Us). She's the founder of Betty Buzz, which has a variety of non-alcoholic mixers that taste just as good on their own as they do with liquor. And, she's also a mom. Lively has been outspoken about protecting her children from the paparazzi, making rare public appearances with them for events like her husband Ryan Reynolds' Hollywood Walk Of Fame Ceremonyandcozy date nights.

When Lively and Reynolds seemingly announced the birth of their fourth child last year, we melted. Here's everything you need to know about Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's kids.

What is the name of Blake Lively's 4th baby?

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Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' fourth baby is named Olin, which he revealed during the July 22 premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine!

Before Ryan chose to reveal the name, he appeared on the Today show and made a cheeky joke about it after the hosts urged him to spill the beans. He said, "We always wait for Taylor to tell us what the child's name will be. We'll say this: we're still waiting."

What gender is Ryan and Blake's fourth child?

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On July 26, Ryan Reynolds confirmed that he and Blake Lively's fourth baby, born in February 2023, is a boy in an Instagram video supporting mental health charity Walking 4 Hope. Speaking with founder John Bell, who struggled with suicidal ideation after the 2020 loss of his son Jake, Reynolds says, “I want to share with you that I, too, have a son...Boy, John, if I love him one-tenth as much as you love Jake, I’ll feel like I’ve done a pretty d—mn good job.”

Considering how adorable James, Inez, and Betty are, I can only imagine how cute Blake Lively's son is!

How many children do Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have?

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Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have four kids. They welcomed their third daughter in 2019, making this new addition to the family their fourth child.

What are Blake Lively kids ages?

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Blake Lively's kids are all under 10. James is 9 (turning 10 on December 16), Inez is 7 (turning 8 on September 30), Betty is 4 (turning 5 on October 4), and Olin turned 1 in February.

Did Blake Lively have a 4th baby?

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Blake Lively posted a pic on Super Bowl Sunday in 2023 showing what appears to be a post-baby body with the caption "Been busy."

Lively confirmed her fourth pregnancy in September 2022 when she arrived at her Forbes event in NYC cradling a baby bump and by posting her own personal photos on Instagramhoping that "the 11 guys waiting outside [her] home for a 🦄 sighting will leave [her] alone."

How old was Blake Lively when she had her first child?

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Blake Lively was 27 when she gave birth to her first daughter, James, in December of 2014.

Why did Blake Lively name her daughter James?

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The couple decided to name their daughter James after Reynolds' late father. While the name connects both James and Reynolds to his father, it also gives Lively the chance to bond with her daughter over having historically male names. "I liked having a boy's name," Lively said on Good Morning Americain 2015. "I thought I'd pass it on."

Their third daughter Betty's name is a tribute to Lively's late father. We didn't know the name of the couple's third baby until Taylor Swift used all three names in her 2020 album folklore. Swift also used James' voice at the beginning of her 2017 track "Gorgeous"! Does that mean we'll hear one of Ryan Reynolds' children in Reputation (Taylor's Version)? I hope so!

What has Ryan Reynolds said about raising their kids?

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In a conversation with Hugh Jackman ahead of Deadpool & Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds opened up about how his family has helped his anxiety. "I think it makes it better because your focus is less on yourself and more on your kids," he says (via People). "I love that I've had anxiety because when I see my kids experiencing some of that, which is probably genetic, I know how to address it in a way that is compassionate, that actually allows them to feel seen. I know that I can't just fix it. And I can communicate all that stuff to them and with them. I'm always grateful for it."

Per People, Ryan Reynolds has also made it clear he and Blake are wholly invested in the kids' daily lives. The doting husband and father enjoys the moments of "walking them to school and walking them back" as it deepens their bond. More than anything, Ryan and Blake's main goal is to make sure they teach their kids how to be introspective with Ryan saying "the thing we sort of hang our hat on the most is self-awareness with our kids."

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However, that doesn't mean Blake and Ryan don't absolutely love being parents. "We're very excited [and] we wouldn't do this four times if we didn't love it," he says in an interview with CNBC's Power Lunch. "Everybody's doing great. Everybody's actually doing fantastic. I think if we hadn't figured it out by now, I think we'd be in deep, deep trouble."

"It's a zoo over here," he jokes. "This is my office here, this is where I'll probably — to be honest, I'll probably spend the rest of my life in here."

We love how much energy Ryan and Blake are pouring into their kids. It's always beautiful when parents are able to be present with their kids and teach them how to be present with themselves. Ryan Reynolds has also mentioned how having daughters "has been such a ride." Since he comes from a family of all boys, having daughters is something that was beyond his wildest dreams! “I love being a girl dad,” Ryan tells Access in 2020. “I have three daughters, which I never in a million years would imagine.”

He mentioned his newest child in June of 2023, when he announced his new series Bedtime Stories. "The idea for a show made to help everyone fall asleep was born the same day as my fourth child," he says on Instagram.

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The Deadpool actor also recently offered some parenting advice on Amanda Hirsch’s hit podcastNot Skinny But Not Fat. "Embrace the chaos,” he tells Hirsch. "[Blake] always says, ‘They're all under our roof right now. The whole family's under our roof right now. We have them all.’ And that is a fleeting thing. Not an infinite resource, you know?”

While Reynolds understands firsthand how overwhelming parenting can feel, he also doesn't wish away this time with four young kids: “Just say, ‘Think about what you would give in 40 years or 30 years to come back and enjoy this one moment.’"

How do Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively prioritize their kids?

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Blake Lively recently joined an episode of her Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' costar Amber Tamblyn's Further Adoand revealed the one unbreakable rule she made with Ryan Reynolds.

“When Ryan and I got together, we made a rule not to work at the same time,” she says. “So that we could always prioritize our personal life...That takes working really hard when we're not. Just like financial planning and sustaining that; it takes balance.”

I love that Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are serious about their family life, and that they have identified what works for them and are sticking with it.

How has motherhood affected Blake Lively?

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Blake Lively opened up about how Ryan Reynolds and she monitor screen safety for their kids, which is definitely something top-of-mind in 2024. “This is not an ad. I get nothing out of this. I just love @tappityapp,” she said of the STEM-focused educational app. “It’s engaging, informative, fun and they care about safety."

She also jokes that she's learning new things right along with her kids! But, no matter how educational or fun an app is, Blake Lively also emphasizes the importance of engaging with her kids' devices: "I’m always triple checking any kids app constantly for safety because that’s my responsibility not an app’s, but I do LOVE this one.”

Despite its fun and funny moments, the actress has admitted being a mom is hard, but she did it with her signature dry sense of humor. “BettyBooze at your service," she wrote in an Instagram Story announcing the new brand. "These are recipes I’ve been making for loved ones for years. But I have 4 kids now. And I’m tired. So here they are. In a can."

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However, Blake Lively absolutely loves motherhood, and says in a 2022 interview with Forbes that having children has made her feel more comfortable in her own skin. "Once I had children, that just became even more profound because my time was even more precious, but also I think having children for me made me feel so much more in my skin," she says. "I never felt more myself or at ease in my own body or more confident — not to say that there aren't a bevy of insecurities coming at me a million times a day, but I just feel incredibly settled."

Speaking with People in 2021, Lively also explains how important it is that her children see her accomplish things outside the home. "I want to be as present of a mother as humanly possible and I want them to feel my presence, but I also think the best way to be the best mother is to show them that you can have a life and have a passion and have an identity outside of just being a mother," Lively says.

While she acknowledges that motherhood is all-encompassing, and it looks different for everyone, she knows that having your own identity is very important. "Teaching them that they can maintain themselves and that everything is possible [is crucial]," she adds.

When did Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have their daughters?

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Blake Lively's children were all born in the last 10 years. Blake Lively's daughters are James, Inez, Betty, and her fourth child is named Olin! Their fourth baby's name was announced during the premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine. Blake gave birth to James in 2014, while Inez was born in 2016. Lively gave birth to Betty in 2019 and Olin in February of 2023.

Is Taylor Swift friends with Blake Lively's kids?

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Yes, Taylor Swift loves Blake Lively's kids! At the Philadelphia show of the Eras Tour, in which Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively attended, Taylor said hello from the stage.

One funny detail about Ryan Reynolds' kids that I love is when he mentioned the girls finally realized Taylor Swift was a popstar. "I think what's most exciting for them is that for the longest time they just thought Taylor's just like an aunt, like a friend of Mommy and Daddy that's very, very close, almost family," he tellsThe Jess Cagle Show. "And then they went to a concert one day and were like, 'Ohhhhh, this isn't a hobby.'"

For Super Bowl Sunday in 2024, Blake Lively joined Taylor Swift to support beau (and KC Chiefs tight end) Travis Kelce. "Last week I left my kids for the first time ever," she says on Instagram. "I took pictures upside down and had no clue. I treated a friendship bracelet like a Flat Stanley for my husband like I didn’t realize it wasn’t ‘07. I borrowed more jewelry than the skeleton in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. And I went clubbing. Now I know what my episode of TheTwilight Zone would look like."

Do Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's kids have nannies?

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Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' children don't have a nanny. "I feel like I could sometimes have a bit of a short fuse, but there's just been this weirdly endless supply of patience," Ryan told GQ in 2015. "I have no problem waking up five times in the middle of the night and changing diapers, and as exhausted as you get, I have this stupid grin on my face all the time."

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This story has been updated.

Comforting meals don’t have to contain meat to stick to your ribs, and this chickpea-based vegan curryproves it. Its main ingredients are healthy and inexpensive, and each lends the dish a special flavor: sweetness from tomatoes and cinnamon, savory spice from chickpeas and cumin, and richness from onions and coconut milk. The ingredients are common enough to find at most grocery chains, though it would be even more fun to shop at a local Indian market for the curry powder and, without a doubt, impulse buys like fresh naan and mango lassi!

Scroll on for a vegan curry recipe so delicious and nourishing, you’ll look forward to the week’s worth of leftovers as soon as you take the first bite!

Ingredients for Vegan Chickpea Curry

Sara Cagle

  • 2 tablespoons coconut oil
  • 2 medium yellow onions, chopped
  • 14 ounces canned tomatoes, drained
  • Salt and pepper, to taste
  • 16 ounces canned chickpeas, drained and rinsed
  • 3 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 teaspoon curry powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon cumin
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 package baby spinach
  • 13.5 ounces canned coconut milk
  • 1 tablespoon flour
  • 1 lime
  • Cooked rice

Directions for Vegan Chickpea Curry

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1. Add the coconut oil to a deep pan over medium-high heat.

2. Add the onions, tomatoes, salt, and pepper to the pan, and stir. Reduce the heat to medium and cook the mixture until tomatoes release their juices and the onions soften, for about 10 minutes.

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3. Stir in the chickpeas, garlic, curry powder, cumin, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cayenne pepper until well combined. Add spinach, coconut milk, and flour, and stir again. Bring the curry to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for 10-12 minutes.

4. Remove the curry from heat, top with lime juice, and serve over rice with naan.

Follow us on Pinterest for more quick, easy, and healthy recipes! You just may find your new favorite meal to make this week!

Recipe adapted from Jessica in the Kitchen.

This post has been updated.