It Only Takes These 4 Steps To Kickstart A New Hobby

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

• Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
• Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
• Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

• Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
• Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

• Feeling responsible for others' happiness
• Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

• Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
• Being highly attuned to body language and tone
• Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

Intentional Thoughts

I'm someone who has a hard time letting things go; I can agonize over one thought or situation for days! Because of this, I focus a lot on taking thoughts captive, which just means pinpointing anxious thoughts and replacing them with what I know is true.

When I have an anxious thought, I do a creative visualization exercise in which I imagine it's inside a bubble floating over my head. Then I slam an imaginary door over the memory and lock it. Then the bubble explodes and the thought doesn't exist anymore. It's not necessarily pretending like it never happened, but it does allow me to exercise some control over what I allow myself to spend time and energy thinking about.

—Choe Williams, Entertainment Editor

Breathing Techniques

My mom is a Pre-K teacher and suggested I try the breathing exercises she does with her kids who are just four years old (I'm 31 for context). The first is called Mountain Breathing, which entails holding up your hand and tracing the outline of your fingers. As you climb up the mountain (or your finger), inhale, and as you trace down into the valley between your fingers, exhale. Another breathing visualization she recommends is as you inhale, imagine yourself breathing in to smell the flowers, and exhale to blow out a candle. These little imaginative scenarios help me get out of my head and focus on my breathing when I need a little reset throughout the day.

Hammock Swinging

Whenever I'm feeling super stressed, I head for the hammock I setup in my front yard. Just as rocking can soothe babies, swinging in a hammock is a powerful soother for adults too! I feel super chilled afterwards and am usually getting some Vitamin D while I'm at it for a win-win.

Painting

During the pandemic, I revisited arts and crafts with soft pastels. I started mixing the colors and doing gradient shadings on card stock with my hands, and it proved to be a super meditative way to decompress. The end result is DIY art you can share or pin on your fridge or wall.

—Alison Ives, Head Of Content

Breathing Techniques

Nothing calms me down quite like alternate-nostril breathing. I first learned about this technique in my yoga classes, but the practice (called Nadi Shodhana in Sanskrit) dates back to the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, which was thought to be written sometime between 200 BC and 200 CE. Put simply, you sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and cover one nostril while you breathe in through the other. Then, you switch which nostril you're holding closed, and breathe out. In modern times, the connection between vagal nerve tone (which is correlated with anxiety and emotional regulation) and alternate-nostril breathing is becoming more and more mainstream, which may eventually help us better understand why this practice is so naturally calming.

Tarot Reading

Tarot can mean a lot of different things to different people. For me, I use tarot cards as a method to help me understand what lessons I'm learning at any given time. This has allowed me to view stressors in my life as learning experiences, which has helped me stay calm in numerous crises. I personally like to light some incense or a scented candle, sit quietly, and pull a card to see what resonates. That said, tarot and its associated images and meanings can be scary or triggering if you don't have a deep and gentle understanding of what the cards mean. I recommend Lindsay Mack's classes and podcasts for anyone who wants to learn about tarot in a non-judgemental, non-predictive, trauma-informed way.

—Maggie McCracken, Former Senior Editor

Sensory Accessories

My recent ways of coping/de-stressing have primarily been spiky sensory finger rings, which are a huge help when I need to get something done and can't stop my day to destress. I grab one of these guys which I have all over the place (most of my jacket pockets + purses), and it helps to calm me down and reset my focus.

Meditation On The Move

Another thing I do that I am trying to integrate into my daily routine is guided meditation walks. As someone who hasn't mastered sitting meditation I've found some on Headspace that I'm enjoying that are specifically for going on a walk through a city.

—Claire Shadomy, Former Graphic Designer

Baths...

In times of high stress, or after a long day, my go-to is always a candle-lit bath soak. I put a large scoop of Epsom salts in the tub with a few drops of my favorite essential oil and place tea lights all around the tub. It’s like my secret getaway from the rest of the world. I always make a point to leave my phone in the other room too so I utilize the time to just relax in silence. Water triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the body's “rest and digest” response. It always gets my heart rate and blood pressure down.

...And Sound Baths

Sound baths are a meditative experience where you’re “bathed” in sound waves. I love to watch them online but you can also create your own experience. I find meditating with a singing bowl so relaxing. It can take a little practice, but once you’ve nailed the hand movement, it’s an interactive way to ease stress and channel your focus elsewhere.

—Allison Cimo, Former Social Media Manager

Take A Hike

Pretty much every day in 2020 I walked the trails near my house and I started to pick up a small rock each time. I'd fidget with it while I cleared my mind and let nature calm my nerves. I would throw the rock back into nature after my hike and it felt like a release for all of my worries.

Bedtime Music

My daughter and I listen to Doze sleep music on Headspace before we go to bed. It calms her late-night zoomies (and mine) and gets her to sleep in minutes!

—Theresa Gonzalez, Branded Content Editor

Journaling

What I use for my anxiety is the Intelligent Change Five Minute Journal. I have a safe word in place for when I feel myself spiraling or I'm not able to control my thoughts and breathing.

—Brittney Davis, Account Manager

​The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On season 3 — On Netflix December 4, 2024

These couples are at a crossroads in their relationship: will they tie the knot and spend the rest of their lives together, or will they call it quits? It's a dilemma a lot of relationships face, and you'll have to tune in to find out how these couples handle the ultimate q.

The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On is hosted by Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey.

Black Doves — On Netflix December 5, 2024

This thriller stars Keira Knightley as Helen, a politician's wife who doubles as a spy — and feeds her organization all his deepest, darkest secrets. But when her secret lover is assassinated, Helen is forced to play a dangerous game of survival that involves everyone she holds close. This December TV show is also set against London at Christmas...you really can't go wrong!

Black Doves stars Keira Knightley, Ben Whishaw, Sarah Lancashire, Andrew Buchan, Adeel Akhtar, Tracey Ullman, Finn Bennett, Luther Ford, Andrew Koji, Kathryn Hunter, Sam Troughton, and Ella Lily Hyland.

Southern Charm season 10 — On Bravo December 5, 2024

The best TV shows always involve reality TV, and nobody's doing it like Southern Charm. Set in Charleston, South Carolina, these ladies are balancing their "bless your hearts" and sweet tea with plenty of drama. Although...when is dating not dramatic? Our favorite familiar faces are joined by some newcomers, bringing a whole new edge to the show we know and love.

Southern Charm Season 10 stars Venita Aspen, Leva Bonaparte, Craig Conover, Taylor Ann Green, Austen Kroll, Madison LeCroy, Rodrigo Reyes, Shep Rose, Jarrett “JT” Thomas, Salley Carson, Ryan Albert, and Molly O’Connell.

The Sticky — On Prime Video December 6, 2024

Despite the fact this new series revolves around a maple syrup empire, it's actually not related to Riverdale. Sorry to disappoint! This dark comedy is inspired by the Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist, where a maple syrup farmer stole millions of dollars worth of syrup in order to save her livelihood. Yep, really.

The Sticky stars Margo Martindale, Chris Diamantopoulos, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Guillaume Cyr.

Queer Eye season 9 — On Netflix December 11, 2024

We're in need of some life advice right now, TBH, and thank goodness The Fab Five are bringing it in the new season of Queer Eye. And alongside the emotional stories and heartfelt connections they make in Vegas, we'll see plenty of fabulous style. Because duh!

Queer Eye Season 9 stars includes Antoni Porowski, Jonathan Van Ness, Karamo Brown, Tan France, and Jeremiah Brent.

No Good Deed — On Netflix December 12, 2024

Sitcom fans rejoice! This December TV show has some of the all-time greats sharing the screen, and we can't wait to rewatch these episodes 100 times. Multiple families believe one house will solve all their problems, and are all racing to sign on the dotted line. But, naturally, the beautiful 1920s Spanish-style home isn't as beautiful as it appears.

No Good Deed stars Linda Cardellini, O-T Fagbenle, Abbi Jacobson, Lisa Kudrow, Denis Leary, Poppy Liu, Teyonah Parris, Ray Romano, and Luke Wilson.

Ready, Set, Glow — On Hallmark+ December 12, 2024

If your favorite scene from Jim Carrey's The Grinch is Molly Shannon and Christine Baranski's Christmas light competition, then this reality show is for you. Hallmark star Wes Brown introduces us to four families who have the best decorations around — and are sure to make your home feel even more festive.

Ready, Set, Glow is hosted by Wes Brown.

The girls are back!! Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie reunite in an attempt to produce something the world desperately needs: an operatic performance based on their iconic "Sanasa." Say no more.

"I'm so excited to be doing this with Nicole on Peacock," Paris told E! News. "Nicole has been my best friend since we're 2 years old, every memory that I have is with her."

Paris & Nicole: The Encore stars Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.

In the face of loss and hardship, nobody comes together like the town of Virgin River. And despite the struggle, this season promises to be heartwarming and lovely too — Mel and Jack are finally getting married! Their nuptials are met with some family drama but don't worry romantics. True love is sure to win out.

Virgin River season 6 stars Alexandra Breckenridge, Martin Henderson, Tim Matheson, Annette O’Toole, Colin Lawrence, Benjamin Hollingsworth, Zibby Allen, Sarah Dugdale, Marco Grazzini, Kai Bradbury, Kandyse McClure, and Mark Ghanime.

According to the official Peacock site, this dark rom-com answers the age-old question of "Is there something wrong with me?" with “Yes. There is. The problem is definitely you.” This December TV show follows Stephanie Hsu's Ruby, who's in for a rude awakening when she realizes all of her past sexual encounters are dying. Now she has to get to the bottom of it before anyone else bites the dust.

Laid stars Stephanie Hsu, Zosia Mamet, Michael Angarano, Tommy Martinez, Andre Hyland, Olivia Holt, David Denman, Finneas O’Connell, Chloe Fineman, Ettore “Big E” Ewen, and John Early.

Kennedy Center Honors — On CBS December 22, 2024

The Kennedy Center Honors (a tribute ceremony that celebrates contributions to American performing art) always provide us with iconic moments — like Anna Kendrick fangirling over Beyoncé and Cynthia Erivo performing "Alfie" for Dionne Warwick. And this year promises to be no different.

The 2024 Kennedy Center Honors will honor Francis Ford Coppola, the Grateful Dead, Bonnie Raitt, Arturo Sandoval, and The Apollo.

Despite the fact we all took games very seriously in elementary school, I'm sure we can all agree no game of Red Light, Green Light comes close to the one in Squid Game. And we're in for another round of nail-biting challenges when season 2 drops December 26. As for what to expect?

"As we all saw at the end of season 1, the main plot of season 2 will be revenge," actor Lee Jung Jae told All K-Pop. "The key figure who controlled the workings of the games in season 1 was Lee Byung-Hun...it seems that the two of us will be the central figures of this next story."

Squid Game season 2 stars Lee Jung-jae, Lee Byung-hun, Wi Ha-jun, Gong Yoo, Yim Si-wan, Kang Ha-neul, Park Sung-hoon, and Yang Dong-geun.

Dick Clark's New Year’s Rockin’ Eve — On ABC December 31, 2024

If you ask me, there's no December TV show as iconic as New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. It's going to be the perfect way to ring out 2024 (and welcome 2025). Although I have to admit, I don't know how they're going to top Megan Thee Stallion, Jelly Roll, Sabrina Carpenter, and Tyla's performances from last year!

Dick Clark's New Year’s Rockin’ Eve is hosted by Ryan Seacrest.