How 7 Common Neurodiversity Types Can Shed Light On Your Personality

Mar 21, 2024

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What is neurodiversity?

In a sense, we are all neurodiverse. When it comes to what goes on inside our heads, none of us are exactly the same. This was the original meaning of ‘neurodiversity’ when psychologist Judy Singer coined the term back in 1999. However, most people now use the word neurodiversity to say that a person’s mental functioning is in some way different from what society has dictated to be ‘normal’. In the past, the medical model was used with these people; they were seen as suffering from a medical condition or disorder, or from some form of learning deficit or impairment. The concept of neurodiversity replaces this with the idea that there is a range of human characteristics, with some people (the neurotypical) closer to the average of these and others (the neurodiverse or neurodivergent) further from the average.

What are common types of neurodiversity?

There are many different forms of neurodiversity, including for example Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), dyscalculia, dyslexia, dyspraxia (developmental co-ordination disorder) and Tourette's syndrome. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is also often seen as a form of neurodiversity. Here's a little more on each of these:

With Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), people can seem restless, may have trouble with concentration and attention, and/or may act on impulse more than other people. Some people with ADHD are more inattentive (not paying attention to detail, not listening, or paying attention, getting distracted, making mistakes). Some are more hyperactive or impulsive (fidgeting, never staying still, talking too much, interrupting, not staying seated). Many show a combination of the two. While ADHD may affect tasks that involve attention to detail, repetitive tasks, rule following or strict management of time and resources, people with ADHD can be very creative and energetic, and when they are doing a job that they enjoy and find interesting, ‘hyperfocus’, avoiding distractions and producing high-quality and incisive results.
With Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), autistic people may act in a different way to other people. They may find it hard to communicate and interact with other people and find it hard to understand how other people think or feel. Some may find things like bright lights or loud noises overwhelming, stressful, or uncomfortable, and get anxious or upset about unfamiliar situations and social events. Some can take longer to understand information while some do or think the same things over and over. Autism represents a spectrum of different behaviors. For most people, not all these issues will apply, and those that do will differ in their impact. Many autistic people can bring a high degree of attention, precision and accuracy to tasks, have in-depth expertise and knowledge in specific areas, and demonstrate a logical, analytical approach.
Dyscalculia is a specific and persistent difficulty in understanding numbers which can lead to a diverse range of difficulties with mathematics. Those with dyscalculia may also have trouble understanding shapes, distance, or volume, or have difficulty with time, directions, recalling schedules, sequences of events, or financial planning. People with dyscalculia often see situations in a holistic way, leading to effective strategic decisions and creative problem-solving. They often have a great love of words and a high degree of practical ability.
Dyslexia is when people may read and write slowly, confuse the order of letters in words, be confused by letters that look similar, write letters the wrong way round (such as "b" and "d"), and have poor or inconsistent spelling. They may understand information when told verbally but have difficulty with information that is written down. They may, however, have advantages in areas such as big-picture or lateral thinking, visualization, and some forms of creativity.
Dyspraxia is a developmental co-ordination disorder affects movement and co-ordination, such as tasks requiring balance, playing sports, or learning to drive a car. Dyspraxia can also affect fine motor skills, such as writing or using small objects. People with dyspraxia have often had to overcome obstacles growing up, leading to a degree of resilience and determination. Having to carry out tasks in different ways means that they can often bring a new and creative view to problems.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has historically been seen as a type of anxiety disorder or a form of mental illness, but it is now also often seen as a form of neurodiversity. In obsessive-compulsive disorder, a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. An obsession is an unwanted and unpleasant thought, image, or urge that repeatedly enters a person’s mind, causing feelings of anxiety, disgust, or unease. A compulsion is a repetitive behavior or mental act that they feel compelled to do to temporarily relieve the unpleasant feelings brought on by the obsessive thought, for example cleaning and hand washing, checking and rechecking, counting, or hoarding. The compulsive behavior temporarily relieves the anxiety, but the obsession and anxiety soon return, causing the cycle to begin again.
Tourette's syndrome is a condition that causes a person to make involuntary sounds and movements called tics. These may be physical (such as blinking, eye rolling, jerking of the head or limbs, or touching objects and other people) or verbal (such as grunting, coughing, tongue clicking or saying random words and phrases). Although swearing is often depicted as a symptom, only a small percentage of people with Tourette’s syndrome do this.

And it’s important to remember that neurodiverse people are not a tiny minority. It’s estimated that 3 to 4 percent of adults have ADHD, 2 percent have ASD, and up to 15% have dyslexia. If anything, these numbers may be underestimates; many adults might not have had the opportunity for a formal diagnosis, or may feel a pressure not to reveal this about themselves.

Using personality assessments like Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to better understand neurodiversity—a good idea or terrible idea?

Personality assessment had something of a bad press in this area, accused of ‘screening out diversity’. This could be the case when personality assessments are used to screen out job applicants or at other stages of recruitment and selection, though even in this context the research suggests that other hiring practices, such as traditional interviews, can have a more detrimental effect. But when personality questionnaires used as part of development or counseling, as would always be the case with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment, they can help neurodiverse people in all sorts of ways. Following MBTI feedback, many neurodiverse people report a sense of relief that they now understand themselves better, that they can see how they are different from many other people but that they realize that this difference is OK. For a neurodiverse person, this positive recognition of aspects of their personality and behavior can be extremely empowering. Here are some comments from a recent survey that we carried out:

“I don’t feel as alone”.

“It confirmed that I’m OK”.

“It helped me better understand and manage my intrusive thoughts in relation to my OCD”.

“It was the MBTI assessment that first got me to push for my own diagnosis. There is so much more that I could say here about how powerful the MBTI tool is for helping people with neurodiversity understand themselves and how they can fit into the workplace as themselves and all that they can bring”.

There can be other benefits too. Personality frameworks like the MBTI can help non-neurodiverse people understand the positive benefits of the ways in which others are different, help neurodiverse people understand their behavior and that of other people, and recognize the ways in which they have ‘masked’ their natural behavior. Generally, personality assessment in a developmental context is probably a good idea.

The link between personality and neurodiversity

Can understanding your personality shed light on neurodiversity in other ways too? Well, yes and no. Personality type and the different aspects of neurodiversity are different ways of understanding yourself and other people. Some forms of neurodiversity will not show any relationship with MBTI type at all. Even when research shows that some relationship exists, neither will entirely explain the other. For example, research using the MBTI framework suggests a link between Extraverted Intuition (people with personality type preferences for ENTP and ENFP) and ADHD. However, not all ENTPs and ENFPs will show signs of ADHD, and not all people with ADHD will have preferences for ENTP or ENFP. Personality and neurodiversity are two different ways of helping people to understand themselves, and used together can give a richer picture.

Both our personality type preferences and our neurodiversity contribute to our behavior and to the ways in which we see the world. And there are correlations, overlaps, between these two different ways of understanding ourselves. But it is important to remember that these are general relationships that do not signify cause and effect, and that won’t hold for every person.

Not Close With Your Family? Here's How To Have a Joyous And Connected Holiday Season

Last year, some of us celebrated the holidays apart from our families for the first time. COVID has brought with it many changes, some of them arguably positive (like increased flexibility to work from home), some difficult (such as the realization of vastly different political and social views between family and friends), and some horrible (obviously, the health implications of a global pandemic). However, for some of us, celebrating the holidays without family members isn't exclusively due to COVID. In addition to so many of us living in different areas than our families of origin, some of us simply don't have close bonds with the people we grew up around. Sometimes, this can cause loneliness.

If you're not close with your family members, the holidays can be a difficult time. This is doubly true if you don't have a close circle of friends to call upon. But make no mistake, if this sounds like your situation, you're not alone — there are thousands of other people going through the same struggles you are. We sat down with Irad Eichler, founder of Circles, a website that connects people who are sharing similar struggles, like heartbreak, grief, or loneliness. Here are some of Eichler's tips for coping — and even thriving! — during the holiday season when you're not planning on spending it with your family, for one reason or another.

Don't Fall For "Perfect Families" On Social Media

Laura Chouette

The first VERY important step to having a joyous holiday season when you're going it alone is to stop believing the narrative that others' family situations are perfect, Eichler says.

"Remember people only post a moment in time, and only the moments when they look their happiest and best."

In addition to the fact that everything you see on social media is curated for the 'gram, it's also important to remember that by focusing on what others have and you lack, you risk failing to see the great things at play in your own life.

"These holiday periods can become a time of focusing on who and what we don't have, rather than who or what we do, and can cause a negative spiral into depressing and dreadful feelings of inadequacy," says Eichler.

Gratitude is the reason for the season, after all. So instead of only seeing the negative, try some gratitude journal prompts to help you focus on what's actually really wonderful about your life right now.

Make An Effort To Deepen New Connections

Joel Muniz

While it may seem like everyone has friends and family to spend time with during the holiday season, that doesn't mean no one is available for deepening a blossoming relationship or new friendship.

"Make a list of people you can or would like to connect with, and try to reach out to at least one of them," advises Eichler.

Reaching out doesn't have to mean a big plan or an hour-long conversation. Even a quick text letting a friendly coworker know you're thinking about them can go a long way toward deepening the relationship and moving it in the direction of closer friendship.

Don't have an acquaintance in mind? Then it's time to make new acquaintances. What's more in line with the Christmas spirit than attending a Meetup or event full of people eager to make new friends?

"Join groups with similar interests to yours, such as hiking, baking, or games. Push your boundaries and be brave - you might find new people who have much in common with you."

Give Back

Priscilla Du Preez

The holiday season is a great time to focus on giving back to your community, and coincidentally, acts of generosity and kindness are known to reduce loneliness and help people feel happier. One study found that knowing a few of your neighbors and doing small acts of kindness for them — such as cheering them up, listening to them, mowing their lawn, providing advice about local business recommendations and job opportunities, and chatting over the fence — was statistically correlated with feeling less lonely and having a lower risk of depression.

Helping out elderly neighbors can be a particularly gratifying way to give back.

"Notice older lonely people in your neighborhood or community who might have no family at all, and offer to help them," says Eichler. "These can become mutually meaningful connections, and help you 'adopt' a grandparent."

Connect With Others Online

Thought Catalog

Finally, use the Internet for its highest and best purpose: to connect people. Whether you're using Meetup to find in-person events, digital forums for having conversations about special interests, or programs like Circle for getting support from others in your situation, the opportunities to create new connections are practically endless.

"There are many interest groups that can be found digitally, where or any person can connect with others in the same life stage, going through the same challenges, or who would like to explore the same interests," Eichler states. "Meaningful connections can be formed easily in these circumstances. The Internet enables us to find and connect to people all over the world who fit this, and to whom we can become more easily attached, as we are able to find people with the exact interests that energize us."

If you're struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. Connect with our digital community of makers and creatives here at Brit+Co by following us on IG and signing up for our newsletter!

This post has been updated.

5 Money Mistakes That Can Destroy Your Friendships, According To Experts

Loud budgeting may be popular on TikTok, but conversations about money can still be awkward. I've been in romantic relationship for a little over a decade and we're just at a point where we've become aligned on finances. So imagine having random conversations with your family or friends that begin with, "I know I've never really asked before, but is it okay if I can borrow [insert x amount of $] until I can pay you back?" The nature of your platonic and familial relationships will totally determine whether you receive positive or negative responses.

As helpful as money can be, it can fracture even the closest relationships. Why? Well, psychologist Veronica West of My Thriving Mind, head of advice for Wells Fargo Emily Irwin; and Founder of Her First $100K money expert Tori Dunlap have a few ideas!

Keep reading for a few sneaky ways money can ruin your friendships:

1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

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It's impossible to know how someone feels every second of the day, but we probably all think we have a good understanding of the people we're close to. But people are capable of hiding how they feel about something or burying their discomfort until certain situations 'expose' them. Why does it seem like money has a way of doing this?

Both Irwin and Dunlap agree that "money is taboo," leading people to avoid conversations about it. "Data tells us that we are more likely to talk about any other taboo topic—sex, politics, religion, even death—before we’ll talk about money," says Dunlap. West agrees and says, "Money is like that one friend who’s incredibly helpful but totally untrustworthy—everyone likes what they bring to the table, but no one wants to talk about them directly." Did you think of someone specific? It's okay because I did too!

The problem is that money can make "hidden insecurities come out, old sibling rivalries rear their heads," and more, according to West. "Even something like 'who paid for what' can suddenly become a life-or death conversation," she says. It's strange because Irwin says a Wells Fargo study shows that "many Americans across all ages are worried about money," proving we're all thinking about it, despite our avoidance issues.

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

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"When we don’t have open conversations about money, we’re left to navigate it on our own, which can keep us feeling underpaid, overworked, or unsure about our financial situation," Dunlap points out. She feels "discussing money requires a huge amount of vulnerability" which "isn't easy for everyone." You may have seen how other topics are swept under the rug by family members or friends based on reasons they're not ready to talk about.

Though Irwin believes saying something like saying, "'Here's what's keeping me up at night' or 'here's what my goals are' could strengthen connections," Dunlap knows that "shame, comparison, or fear of judgement" can cause people to remain tight-lipped about their finances.

If you've experienced a weird moment because of money or had to be the unfortunate witness of an awkward conversation, my apologies. It's not fun no matter who's involved because, unfortunately, "money carries layers of emotions, like pride and insecurity, that turn simple conversations into potential minefields," says West.

Dunlap says there's a silver lining if people are willing to be open, however. "The key is respecting each person’s comfort level, and encouraging openness if they're willing to meet you there. It’s not going to be perfect at first, but by starting to share more about your own financial experiences, you can start to break the cycle of shame and fear around money. You might be surprised at how quickly others are willing to open up too."

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

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No one's saying you should never lend friends money, but being mindful about the decision is worth noting. West feels "it's complicated" while Dunlap believes the issue "can be tricky." There's a chance a low-key loan becomes an expectation that you should dish out money every time someone needs help, even if you're trying to maintain your own bills. "Lending money to a friend is like sharing your Netflix password—simple in theory, but one wrong move, and things get weird," West forewarns.

Dunlap also says, "When you lend money to someone close to you, there's always the chance that you won’t get it back. You want to be mentally prepared for that! Otherwise, it can strain your finances and your relationship. The emotional toll can be just as heavy, as unpaid loans can lead to resentment or awkwardness." It's not unusual to hear about certain friends being unreliable in more ways than one after you've let them borrow something. Unfortunately, Irwin indicates this happens because some people "don't expect to give something back that they've borrowed."

Because of this, Dunlap thinks "it's best to avoid loans if possible." Should you decide to move forward with helping out a friend who's in a bind, make sure you're both in agreement about repayment and what to expect moving forward. West says "having clear terms" or "gifting a small amount if you can afford it" is like "buying their friendship insurance." The latter is something Dunlap agrees with because it "helps prevent resentment if they can't pay you back as planned." Plus, she feels it also "keeps the loan within an amount you're okay with potentially losing."

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

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It's amazing how money can lead to a friendship breakup if boundaries aren't created or respected. "Money is a sneaky little devil who can push everyone’s buttons. It can cause resentment if one person feels taken advantage of or someone’s 'casual loan' becomes an epic saga of unpaid IOUs," West says. Not only that, but Dunlap knows "money can strain relationships between friends and family by highlighting differences in how we value it, expect to use it, or feel about sharing it."

Friends and family members shouldn't take each other's kindness for granted, but human nature is fickle at times. That's not an indicator that someone you love is a "bad" person, but they may feel like you owe them your time and money. However, Irwin says this isn't "de facto that that person is entitled." Still, Dunlap is more than aware how this can play out. "For example, it can lead to resentment if one person is always the one picking up the tab, while another might feel uncomfortable or indebted because they’ve been helped financially," she says.

On the other hand, it can show up a little differently in families. She adds, "Issues like unequal inheritance or constant requests for financial help can lead to deep emotional tension. Money can also become a tool for power imbalances, where one person feels in control and the other feels dependent, and that can mess with trust and respect."

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When certain negative patterns show up in relationships, it can make people decide to take a step back from being available. "And once distrust settles in, it’s hard to shake; nobody wants to be 'that friend' who’s forever dodging a Venmo request or getting side-eye from relatives at every family BBQ," West points out. How many times have you built up a wall with the people you love because of repeated unreliability or the expectation that you're supposed to help them whenever they ask? If you didn't hesitate to think of a moment, you're living proof that distrust can affect even the closest relationships.

Dunlap says, "When money becomes a main factor in a relationship, it can overshadow the connection, making it difficult to maintain genuine trust and understanding. You can avoid this by having open conversations with friends and family about your financial situation. Clear communication can help keep the focus on the relationship, not the money."

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

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Worrying about how other people feel can keep us from setting boundaries. There's a difference between being an empath and a people pleaser, but it's easy to blur the lines. You can absolutely empathize with someone's hardship while knowing you're not in the position to lend the amount they may be looking for. I'm a huge fan of saying that two things can be true at once — because they can.

Irwin says you need to "address the conversation head on" if a friend does ask you for a loan. Your response may depend on if their ask was "emotionally-charged or "in an uncomfortable environment," but Irwin doesn't recommend ignoring it. If you're not in the space to respond, here's what she suggests saying in a "timely" fashion:

"Hey, I need time to think about this. Let me get back to you."
"We can help you, but here are our boundaries."
"We see and understand you, but we're unable to help because we're trying to pay off debt or save for _______."

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

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Don't think you need to create financial boundaries for yourself and your friends? Think again. West says, "Establishing some ground rules is a lifesaver—think of it adding airbags to the friendship. Setting boundaries early on, like when you’re still in the happy, non-monetary part of the relationship, can protect both sides if things get sticky."

Here's how she advises you proceed with creating boundaries:

Keep it light and be honest; you’re not making a prenuptial agreement here, just letting them know you’d like to avoid “financial fireworks” later.
Say, “I’m your friend, not your ATM.” It’s funny but helps set the tone that your wallet isn’t a free-for-all.
Set a gift cap, such as, "I'm happy to chip in for brunch or a birthday, but let’s not get into home-loan territory.”
If you do lend, draw up a repayment plan. Think of it as adulting with a side of accountability to avoid “accidentally” becoming their financial fairy godmother.
Limit talk of big financial choices unless you’re genuinely invested together. After all, nobody needs to know how much their friend spends on avocado toast or scented candles, let alone home renos.
A little humor and some boundaries go a long way. You’ll save yourself a lot of awkwardness and keep the friendships intact, one “non-loaned” dollar at a time!

Alexander Grey/Unsplash

Tori says, "It's so important to have transparent conversations about money, set clear boundaries, and ensure that relationships are prioritized in any money exchange." Here are a few things you can try:

Communicate about your budget with a “gratitude sandwich.” Say you’re invited to an outing—a dinner, or a sports game—that isn’t within your budget right now. You can respond with the “gratitude sandwich.” The “pieces of bread” are positive, and the “meat” is the money thing you’re scared to say. Thank that person for the invite, let them know it’s not within budget right now, and then offer a cheaper alternative, reassuring them that you’d really love to see them. Offering an alternative reminds that person that declining their invitation isn’t about them, and you still care about them. In doing so, you prioritize your budget AND your relationship in the process.When in doubt, remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t need to overcomplicate things, and sometimes a simple “no” is all you need.
Set expectations early. When planning trips with friends, discuss the budget and how costs will be split upfront. Having these conversations ensures that everyone is on the same page and helps avoid any misunderstandings. It creates a supportive, stress-free environment where everyone can enjoy the experience together without any added worries!

The Final Verdict:

Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash

Once you've weighed your options and considered what you need, you can decide to loan your friend money. However, Irwin wants you to consider being formal about it. "You can absolutely draft a promissory note or loan agreement so that your friend knows how serious you are about your boundaries. If you want, you can also put an interest rate on it," she says.

It's not to hurt your friend's feelings, but it is a boundary you can put in place so they think to themselves, "This is truly a loan because I'm borrowing money with the intent to pay it back," Irwin says. It could change the dynamics of your friendship, but it's more about being "purposeful about the language being used" so you and your friend can both move in the "right direction," according to Irwin.

If the idea of creating a 'loan agreement' sounds icky to you, Dunlap wants you to seriously consider it as "an extra bit of protection." She says all you need to do, again, is "try setting up a simple contract to outline repayment terms" because it "can help both of you stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings down the road."

Her ultimate piece of advice? "Only lend what you're comfortable giving and potentially losing, and keep open communication to maintain trust and respect in the relationship."

If you set clear financial boundaries and still find that your platonic relationships are weird, we have tips to help you navigate a potential friendship breakup.

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11 Obvious Signs You’re Actually An Empath, According To A Therapist

You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!

How To Know If You're An Empath

Empathy is when "you feel what others are feeling."
There are physical, emotional, social, and mental signs that you're an empath.
You may be an empath if you get physically exhausted after being in crowds, feel anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments, feel responsible for other people's happiness, or you find it hard to distinguish your own feelings from someone else's.

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Gary Barnes

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

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There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

Yaroslav Shuraev

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

Feeling responsible for others' happiness
Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
Being highly attuned to body language and tone
Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

Mikhail Nilov

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

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But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

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You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Vitaly Gariev

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!

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25 Anthropologie Gifts That Are Perfect For The Cool Girl In Your Life

If you’re one of those people that prides themselves on delivering the perfect present and finds joy in seeing the giftee's face light up, Anthropologie is going to be your BFF for finding gifts this holiday season! From home decor to apparel and everything in between, Anthropologie delivers unique and eclectic finds that are fun and fashion-forward. It can be challenging sifting through the endless online racks of their treasures, though, so I’ve broken down the best gifts from Anthropologie so all you have to do is press *add to cart*!

Our 25 favorite Anthropologie gifts for 2024 gifting:

Let's jump into the best gifts from Anthropologie for the season! These are perfect for teen girls, Gen-Z-ers, fashion lovers, and those who can't help but hop on the latest trends.

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For the one that plans like it's a full-time job: 2025 17-Month Monogram Planner

Is there ever a better gift than something that'll help them keep their life in order? 2025, we're coming for you.

Anthropologie

For the cozy-chic gal: UGG Classic Mini Boots

These mini UGG boots are so on-trend right now, any cool fashion gal will adore them as a gift.

Anthropologie

Bring street style to their closet: The Oversized Brigitte Satchel by Melie Bianco

This bag fits everything your giftee could possibly need in the day-to-day – and then some.

Anthropologie

For the skincare-obsessed: NuFACE Mini+ Gift Set

This slightly-bougie skincare device tones and lifts your face while targeting signs of aging, like fine lines and wrinkles. It'll be such a luxe upgrade to your giftee's current routine!

Anthropologie

For the girl on the go: New Balance 530 Sneakers

These fashion-forward sneakers work well across a variety of outfits and occasions, like hitting the gym, going on a hot girl walk, or running weekend errands. The cool girl in your life will love pairing them with her favorite matching workout set and a sleek trench coat when it's cold out.

Anthropologie

Being trendy is too easy: Cherry Lips Bag Charm

Bag charms are all the rage right now, so help them hop on the trend with this adorably eye-catching keychain.

Anthropologie

To wear with her cowgirl boots: Worn/West Let's Go For a Walk Trucker Hat

Trucker hats are the perfect head gear for a casual-get up. Styles that make a statement like this one are perfect for the Western fashion lover!

Anthropologie

Seasonal scent for their space: Icon Woody Fresh Balsam & Cedarwood Glass Candle

Anthropologie's candle selection is bomb – you're bound to find a scent your giftee will approve of. We recommend this seasonal woody scent encased in a festive, tree-dotted glass!

Anthropologie

Unique lighter that looks like decor: Nomatiq Flume Electric Lighter

Pick up this electric lighter to coordinate with any candle gift. We promise they've never owned a lighter like this!

Anthropologie

Okay, she's a bookworm: I-SEA Aviator Readers

Whether she's working through her current TBR list or starting off the workweek, these chic readers will help her see clearly. You can snag 'em in a handful of colors and different strengths based on her vision.

Anthropologie

Straight to the point for the shoe lover: Maeve Pointed-Toe Moto Mary Jane Flats

All the cool girls are rocking pointed flats for winter. Bonus points for this pair being metallic!

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Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

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Cheeky Gift Ideas That Suit Anyone and Everyone

Surprise your loved ones with these cheeky gift ideas that are perfect for anyone and everyone! From quirky gadgets to fun, useful finds and playful accessories, these picks are designed to bring a smile to anyone's face. Whether you're shopping for a close friend or that hard-to-please relative, these unique finds add a dash of humor and charm to your holiday gifting. Explore these playful gifts and make this season memorable with presents that everyone will enjoy.

Thanks for reading about our favorite finds from across the internet! FYI: We participate in affiliate programs and may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.

This calming toy to Help Reduce Anxiety

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This Purrble calming toy has been awarded Amazon’s choice, and will be both fun and soothing for children. It is a high-tech tool and a soft, furry toy that is a cuddly interactive companion that can help children stay calm in moment of stress and anxiety!

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25 Anthropologie Gifts That Are Perfect For The Cool Girl In Your Life

Let's jump into the best gifts from Anthropologie for the season! These are perfect for teen girls, Gen-Z-ers, fashion lovers, and those who can't help but hop on the latest trends.

For the one that plans like it's a full-time job: 2025 17-Month Monogram Planner

For the cozy-chic gal: UGG Classic Mini Boots

Bring street style to their closet: The Oversized Brigitte Satchel by Melie Bianco

For the skincare-obsessed: NuFACE Mini+ Gift Set

For the girl on the go: New Balance 530 Sneakers

Being trendy is too easy: Cherry Lips Bag Charm

To wear with her cowgirl boots: Worn/West Let's Go For a Walk Trucker Hat

Seasonal scent for their space: Icon Woody Fresh Balsam & Cedarwood Glass Candle

Unique lighter that looks like decor: Nomatiq Flume Electric Lighter

Okay, she's a bookworm: I-SEA Aviator Readers

Straight to the point for the shoe lover: Maeve Pointed-Toe Moto Mary Jane Flats

Cheeky Gift Ideas That Suit Anyone and Everyone

This calming toy to Help Reduce Anxiety

This Puffer Bomber Is So Chic

Blow Off Some Steam With A Dammit Doll

A Form of Shart

Fidget Putty Is Perfect For Concentration

Advent Calendar But Make It Makeup

Mini Karaoke Machine

These Slippers Are Perfect for Cold Weather

Remove Sebum and Blackheads With This Tool

The Not-So Piggy Bank

Put Your Phone on DND and Enjoy Some Quiet Time

The Top Selling Pillows On Amazon

Shoe Spray to Spray the Stink Away

This Organizer Bin With a Genius Design

A Portable Photo Printer To Make Prints Anywhere

This Desk Lamp For Lighting But in the Cutest Way

Cowboy Hat-Wearing Duck Lamp

This Comfortable Bath Pillow Takes Relaxation to Bliss

The Stanley Stainless Steel Tumbler Is a Fan Favorite

Go Solo

Wrap Up In Warm in These Essentials

Comfy Couch Blanket

Nostalgic Glow From This Tetris Lamp

They'll Feel Pampered With This Laneige Holiday Gift Set

Astronaut Galaxy Night Light

Handprint Kit

This Heated Neck Stretcher For the Whole Body

This Camera Bundle for Pro-Level Shots

Give Their Plants a Personality with these Magnets

This Book Nook for DIY Enthusiasts

Relieve Tension With an Infrared Heat Mat

A Coloring Book with a Sense of Humor

Legacy Journal

Christmas Snow Globe for Magic Glittery Moments

For the True Crime Lover

This Kit to Crochet the Stress Away

These Solar Wind Chimes For Musical Days and Nights

Every Kitchen Needs One

This B5 Balm Soothes Dry Skin