Science Explains Why This Type of Person Can’t Handle Failure

Parents face a ton of challenges — dealing with everything from traveling with children to tantrums when screen-time ends to thinking about how to practice body positive parenting. And while helping kids get a good education is high on that list, researchers find that they shouldn’t be too hard on their little ones if they come home with a C+ on that math test.

This is super important, since a kid’s belief about intelligence (and therefore their own smarts) has a big effect on their achievement and mindset throughout life. According to Kyla Haimovitz, a developmental psychologist at Stanford University and an author on the study, “Our findings show that parents can endorse a growth mindset, but they might not pass it on to their children unless they have a positive and constructive reaction to their children’s struggles.” Bottom line: It’s all in a parent’s reaction to failure.

Haimovitz and psychology researcher Carol Dweck asked 73 parent-child pairs to answer a series of questions about four statements on intelligence and six statements about failure. The children — all fourth- and fifth-grade students — responded to similar statements about intelligence.

Haimovitz and Dweck found that there was NO relationship between a parent’s ideas on intelligence and the child’s ideas on intelligence; however, parents thoughts on failure DID affect a child’s ideas on intelligence.

Parents who tended to view failure as a negative, harmful event had children who were more likely to believe that intelligence is fixed and not something that can be grown through education and learning. Therefore, parents should discuss what their kid learned from a failure (you should study consistently next time, instead of cramming the morning of the test) or constructive ways to foster learning (getting a tutor) to encourage their children to improve.

Both researchers believe that the results of this study can help teach parents to use their children’s setbacks as an opportunity for growth and motivation, not disappointment and discouragement.

Tell us how you encourage your kid to grow @BritandCo.

(Photos via Getty)

A lot of people pride themselves on being optimists, and TBH, if you canstay positivewith everything that’s going on in the world today, major props to you. For most people who consider themselves the glass-half-full type, it’s a lifestyle. They try to look at everything that comes their way, from relationship troubles to work mistakes, with a positive spin. But a recent study investigated whether optimists still stay more positive than pessimists when things get really tough, and what they found was pretty surprising.


Scientists analyzed nine previous studies to see how both optimists and pessimists brace themselves for receiving important and potentially negative news, like medical test results. They found that even though people who identify as optimists tend to be more positive in general, they too start assuming the worst as the moment of truth about something important nears. It’s easy to understand this instinct, since some people tend to believe that preparing yourself for the worst will ultimately make it less shocking if it happens. On the other hand, some people would rather stay positive whenever possible, since it’s easier to fight off stress and anxiety when you have a sunny outlook. Here, we’ve gathered some of our favorite expert tips for staying optimistic when you’re dealing with some super hard stuff.

How To Stay Positive

1.Learn to reframe negativity. “The trick to positivity is not avoiding pessimism,” says Elaine Taylor-Klaus, a certified professional coach. “It’s really about how quickly you can redirect your focus from negative to positive. Critical thinkers are going to see problems to be solved, but the ability to ‘reframe’ the conversation is the really important skill for people to practice.” She recommends getting into the habit of acknowledging negative thoughts and then asking, “What else is possible here?” This can guide you back into a positive mindset more quickly.

“Bottom line: Negativity happens,” she says. “Positivity is a choice, and the quicker you learn to reframe, the more time you’ll spend in a positive space. Then, over time, the more likely you are to turn directly to a positive interpretation of events.”

2. Ask yourself if this will matter a month or year from now. Sometimes things seem crucial AF in the moment, but might be inconsequential even just a few days after that. Just think about high school drama. “When we can leave the past behind and even know in the present moment that this feeling won’t last, it can help to remind us that time heals and life goes on,” explainsSharon Stokes, life-fulfillment coach.

3.Give back. Volunteering is an amazing way to change your entire perspective, saysLyssa Menard, a clinical health psychologist, founder of Strategies for Changeand assistant professor at Northwestern University’s medical school. “There are many organizations that don’t require an ongoing commitment, so sign up for an event that’s meaningful. Research shows that giving to others is one of the quickest routes toward happiness. While happiness and positivity are different, they’re correlated,” Lyssa says.

4. Role play to be more objective. Playing a little mind trick on yourself can work wonders, says Lori Scherwin of Strategize That, a career coaching service. “We’re often better at helping others than ourselves,” she notes. “Make the situation more objective and less personal to you. For example, consider if it were anyone else in the situation (like your best friend, partner or colleague). How would you see the same ‘problem?’ What advice might you give them to get out of it?” she asks. This will help you shift from being super hard on yourself to more objective, and most likely, more positive.

5. Make changes to things that are within your control. Spending time worrying about something that you can’t change isn’t really worth the effort. Instead, “Focus on areas where you have agency,” suggests Holly Burton, a career coach for women in male-dominated industries. “You may be stuck in a role you don’t love at work, but you could probably work a few extra hours a week and take on a project that interests you. You could also schedule some proactive meetings with your boss to make an action plan to develop the skills you need to make a lateral move,” she says. In most situations, whether they’re career-related or not, it’s possible to take actions to make things better for yourself.

6. Practice radical acceptance. Some professional coaches suggest trying out the idea of radical acceptance, which is basically accepting the things you cannot change, even if they’re not right or you don’t agree with them.

7.Try this gratitude challenge. First, journal about one event each day for seven days that made you feel happy and/or thankful and include the specifics of why it made you feel that way, going deep into the details. Second, send one random thank you email or text to someone each day, either personally or professionally. This message should include what they did and why it’s worthy of the shout out. Detailed gratitude journals are proven to improve your life satisfaction, so try to stick to a gratitude practice, even in the good times!

What do you do when you’re trying to stay optimistic? Have you tried any of these techniques? Tell us about it @BritandCo!

This article has been updated.

Sprinkle the magic of Christmas into every seasonal activity by creating some festive Christmas nail designs! Whether you like to lean towards the traditional reds and greens or prefer to think colorfully outside the box, the polishes and Christmas nail designs below will set your mood and nail look right. Winter nails don't have to be drab – from star-studded nail art to bejeweled nail beds, we've got just the inspo for you.

Christmas Nail Colors

Amazon

essie 'Off Tropic'

You can't get your dream Christmas nail designs done without some stellar nail polishes! If your look involves a deep green, this shiny pick will help you pull it off easily. Use it to coat the entire nail for a sultry seasonal mani.

Amazon

OPI Opaque Light White & Gray Shimmer Nail Polish

With Christmas comes cold, and this nail polish screams icy. Wear it alone or apply it over a traditional Christmas color like red or green!

Amazon

OPI Infinite Shine 'Bubble Bath'

This baby pink will look gorgeous as a solid coat for Christmas-y dates and dinner parties.

Amazon

ILNP 'Ruby'

It's red. It's glittery. It's perfect for the holidays!

Amazon

Essie 'Winter Trend'

Spending Christmas with your besties or roommates? It's time for you to have your first 'Pinkmas' with the sparkly magenta nails to match!

Amazon

Sally Hansen Insta-Dri 'White on Time'

A super solid white nail polish, alongside a thin nail art brush, can be used to paint snowmen, gift wrap, or snowflakes like some of our featured Christmas nail designs depict.

Amazon

RARJSM Holographic Gel Polish

For the lazy gal manicurists, this holographic polish will make any light reflect off your nails which is the point during Christmas!

Amazon

essie 'U Wish'

Embrace the holidays with this fiery red that defies expectations of what a Christmas color should be.

Amazon

Butter London Patent Shine Nail Polish

This one color will work excellently for minimalist Christmas nail designs – use it to dot, stripe, or wear it on its own.

Amazon

Revlon 'Iced Mauve'

Sparkles are a must for Christmas, which is why we're heavily eyeing this potent pink.

Christmas Nails Inspo

Nataszija / July Ninety Six

Nifty-Gifty Gems

Use small nail gems of any color to infuse your Christmas nail designs with festive energy. We're loving red in particular because it just feels luxurious!

Brydie/Instagram

Deep Red Elegance

The bold red French tips, in combination with some art deco-inspired golden stars, can really bring your seasonal mani to the next level.

Charlotte Herberts/Instagram

Colorful Christmas Stars

Use a stencil or freehand these tiny stars in different chrome nail colors for a more jolly vibe this year.

Bryony Howell/Instagram

(Gift) Wrap It Up

A nail art brush can be used to paint on cutie little Christmas bows like this silvery one!

(via )

Oliwia Krauz/Instagram

Classic Colors

Multicolor nails are not dead – take the trend further for the holidays by crafting your look with a mix of whites, golds, greens, and reds.

Melou's Nails/Instagram

Let It Shine

For an understated (yet still spirited) Christmas manicure, glitter will be your go-to. We love the gradient effect that this hand has on!

Peachi Nails/Instagram

Merry & Bright

Tiny star details are sure to turn heads this Christmas! You could use any hue, but a standout gold like this one really makes your nails pop!

Check out our weekly newsletter for more seasonal inspiration!

Brit + Co. may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated

Bill Nye The Science Guy and neuroscientist and Emmy-nominated actress Mayim Bialik join Brit for a supersized episode about the science lessons all adults should know. First up, listen in to my conversation with Bill as we cover science hacks for everyday life, how to stay healthy according to science, and his thoughts on climate change.

Then, catch our special bonus segment with Mayim as she connects science and mental health. To learn more about all the things with Brit, subscribe to Teach Me Something New on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris are the talk of the town lately — and Ali Krieger definitely has something to say about it. The timeline of Ashlyn and Ali's divorce and Ashlyn and Sophia's relationship is messy at best, but the latter couple constantly dispel any rumor that there was overlap. For much of this narrative, Ali's been pretty silent, but it's clear she's ready to speak her truth. In a statement posted to Instagram, the soccer superstar opened up. Here's what she had to say.

See Ali Krieger's full statement about the Ashlyn Harris drama here!

  • Ali says that while she's had an "outpouring of love and support" over the last year, she's been confronted with "a wave of dishonesty and misinformation" in regards to her marriage to Ashlyn Harris.
  • Ali noted that her "unwavering priority" is to her kids, and that she requests privacy while she comes to terms with the state of her personal life right now.
  • This comes after Ashlyn Harris made comments about the dissolution of their marriage on a podcast, stating that there was a total lack of intimacy and that the cheating "is so far from the truth."

www.instagram.com

On December 3, 2024, Ali posted her statement to Instagram. She opened with, "I’m overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support I’ve received this last year. However, amidst this warmth, I’ve also had to confront a wave of dishonesty and misinformation regarding my marriage and personal life."

Ali shared that she isn't ready to make a more formal statement, but she feels "compelled to address this currently to prevent further distortion of the truth." But at the end of the day, Ali explained that her "unwavering priority" is her kids at this moment, and that she'll share more when her "heart feels ready."

She closed her statement with, "In this vulnerable time, I humbly ask for privacy and understanding from all involved, as I grapple with the profound changes in my personal life."

Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for American Ballet Theatre

This comes after Ashlyn spoke on the Naked Sports with Cari Championpodcast. Ashlyn noted that she was in a relationship without intimacy, eventually leading her to ask for an open marriage as a "last attempt." She also stated that people constantly see her as a cheater, which she says is "is so far from the truth."

I guess we'll know the truth in time...but for now, this is definitely messy. Wishing both sides of this divorce peace and understanding!

Looking for more celebrity news? Be sure to follow us on Facebook so you never miss a thing!

If you were on the internet at all this summer, then you're probably familiar with all the It Ends With Us cast drama. The rumored rift between director and star Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively didn't come to light until after the movie released, but Justin just revealed some brand new information that totally reframes the whole film: he almost suffered a "breakdown" while filming.

Justin Baldoni has been vocal about taking the role of Ryle, who abuses Blake Lively's Lily throughout the film, really seriously, but his latest interview with the How to Fail podcast reveals the effect of the character went way farther than anyone knew.

Keep reading to see why starring as Ryle Kincaid opposite Blake Lively in It Ends With Usaffected Justin Baldoni's mental health.

Justin Baldoni says Ryle Kincaid was "very hard" to get rid of.

Sony Pictures Releasing

When host Elizabeth Day asks about how he decompressed after playing Ryle, Justin admits the character was harder to shake than he anticipated. "That was very hard and honestly, that took a few months," he says. "I had dreams as him for a while, and it lived in my body, but I think for the most part, he's out."

And while starring in such a role is difficult on its own, he also had the job of directing the scenes he was in! "Directing is a very lonely job, I'll just be very candid," he says. "Because you are kind of at the top of this totem pole. In your moments of quiet, everybody has a thousand questions for you and also nobody wants to disturb you and you don't really have many people to talk to and you can't necessarily share your anxiety or your nervousness about something because you're also the leader."

His scenes as Ryle involved everything from romantic scenes with Blake Lively to a physical fight with Brandon Sklenar, and there were times he had to go "shake it out" away from the rest of the cast.

Justin Baldoni almost had a breakdown after filming a scene with Blake Lively.

"I've done a lot of somatic therapy so there were times when I was actually just shaking," he says. "There's a moment in the movie where Ryle finds Lily's phone and he finds a phone number and he's very jealous and he's heartbroken and he's angry and he doesn't harm her but you can see in his eyes how dangerous he is. After that scene, I had a near breakdown."

Despite the fact he plays such a "dangerous" character, Justin quickly became the most beloved cast member after the movie's release. Fans became suspicious whey they realized Blake Lively, Brandon Sklenar, and Jenny Slate didn't follow the director on Instagram (and avoided talking about him in interviews)...and then the internet came to the conclusion there was a major rift between the director and the cast (which hasn't technically been confirmed by anyone who's rumored to be involved).

Justin spent the movie's press run raising awareness for domestic violence support, while the internet quickly criticized how Blake Lively treated the film like a lighthearted rom-com, using the opportunity to promote her haircare line.

A source told People that Blake Lively felt "surprised," "vulnerable and upset"about the response to the film's press, while Justin's Jane the Virgin costar Gina Rodriguez came to Justin's defense and told People in September that "sweet, sweet soul" Justin is "my brother forever. Forever and ever."

"You know what?" Justin says. "[Gina's comments] came at a very special time for me and that meant a lot. She really showed up for me. That was really sweet...She's a sweetheart. She's family forever."

Read up on what Brandon Sklenar said about a potential It Starts With Us sequel movie.