Here’s Scientific Proof That a Hug Can Improve Your Mood

The Difference Between 'Body Drama' And 'The Real Body Manual'

If you've had the pleasure of sticking your nose in Nancy Redd's Body Drama, you're familiar with how well-researched and thorough it is. In that regard, The Real Body Manual is no different — but Redd highlights it's still a "totally different book." She says, "The world has changed dramatically, and we're talking so much more about bodies, and we see a lot more bodies."

Despite seeing all those "real" bodies on TV and otherwise, women — and people in general — still don't feel great about themselves. According to a 2022 study, 32% of teens had a negative opinion about their acne, while 31% weren't comfortable with their weight. Meanwhile, another study shows that 80% of women have referred to themselves as "fat."

To combat troubling statistics like those, Redd hopesThe Real Body Manual can help. "I think we're all operating with not enough information about the world we live in, and I think the more information we can receive in a safe, educated, medically-accurate space, the better," she explains.

Redd also really wanted to write a book that taught both her son and her daughter about their changing bodies — and she feels this is the perfect time for everyone to come together and learn about the way bodies not only look, but function. She likens these lessons to learning about world geography. "We don't just need to know about the small town we live in. We need to know about the state, country, the world-at-large," she stresses. And she thinks The Real Body Manual can help you "learn about your own body, your friends, and the people in society you live with."

If you look at the group of friends I have today, everyone doesn't have the same body shame. One of my friends is a little taller and curvier than I am while another is shorter and rounder. I dealt with acne-prone skin and dark spots while my best friend Cookie didn't really struggle with that. It's honestly rare that everyone will look the same — and that's okay! But learning about what's going on with all of us helps bridge our experiential gaps and creates better shared understanding.

And with that in mind, here are the 4 things I learned about my body — and all bodies — when chatting with Nancy and reading The Real Body Manual.

1. Understanding Your Body Doesn't Have To Look Like Everyone Else's

I grew up during a time where certain body types were celebrated more than others in media, and it had a negative effect on how I perceived my own body. I believed I wasn't supposed to have stretch marks because video vixens didn't, and became horrified when I discovered them in middle school as a slender girl. Not only that, but I didn't really develop curves until after I gave birth which made me feel like an outlier in my community.

Recent studies found there's a link between teens aged 16-18 years old developing body dysmorphia and social media...which doesn't sound surprising. And while there are countless body positive accounts that also exist — and I really do promise I'm not saying to completely ditch your socials — sometimes you have to take a step away from it (and other influencers) if it's having a negative impact on your self-esteem.

"Some bodies naturally look like those in music videos. I think separating that from being able to find love or have purpose in your life — they're completely separate things," Redd insists. She breaks things down even further by explaining why you not looking a certain way doesn't discount you from enjoying life. "Some people are born with the ability to be tennis stars, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pick up a tennis racket because you're not Serena Williams."

The main point she drives home is that "every person can have a great time with their bodies" which is why The Real Body Manual reads like an encouraging, evidence-based love letter to readers.

2. Loving Yourself Is A Choice

Just like I had to make the decision to fully accept the body I have, it's something Nancy says everyone has the ability to do. "It's literally a choice," she says before one of her kids quickly pops into our convo. In a tender moment, she asks her child, "Hello, do you love your body?"

This brief encounter circles back to the reason why The Real Body Manual matters — it opens up these conversations with our kids, offering a tangible resource for others. I know I try to have more conversations like this with my son, and I've even encouraged him to hug himself when he needs a little dose of self love.

"The things that matter — having purpose in life, feeling love, being a good community member — don't have much to do with whether you have hyperpigmentation, freckles, cellulite, etc.," she says. "The more you know from the beginning of your journey that bodies look different, the easier it is for you to accept [yourself]. But if the only bodies you're seeing are sexualized in pornography, videos, and magazines, you don't have a real basis."

It's one of the biggest reasons she intended for The Real Body Manual to be a visual guide.

3. Your Naked Body Is Beautiful

"I really like showing people what the body actually looks like for the most part," Redd says. Yeah, that's right — The Real Body Manual features real people's bodies, not just illustrations. In doing so, she says, "Everyone can see someone who resembles them." It doesn't matter if you're heavy-set, a person with different sized breasts, or anything in-between. The point is that you'll be able to find yourself somewhere in The Real Body Manual.

My mother told me how little information her own mom shared with her about bodies. Because of that, my mom always stressed that she wanted my sister and I to have access to whatever information we needed. She wanted us to be informed, and never inhibited by her own lack of comfort over a topic. But not all parents feel comfortable sharing with their kids.

Redd says, "I don't think it was done with malice. I think people are just working with whatever they have which is not a lot." She further notes people have chosen to refer to genitals as "down there" for both men and women instead of saying the proper term for them for their autonomy. I'll be honest — growing up in a religious background often means sexual shame was attached to very normal things like breasts and penises.

Not everyone was on board with me telling my toddler he has a penis instead of saying "pee pee" — or not talking about it at all, if we're being honest. But I wanted him to feel comfortable with what he was born with, and to know that his dad having the same anatomy is normal. "We just don't use the proper names for things which increases this shroud of secrecy about it. We aren't taught health literacy," Redd says.

4. 'The Real Body Manual' Is A Must-Have For Pre-Teens, Teens, And Adults

Funnily enough, Redd informs me that October is actually Health Literacy Month, making all this really round out. We should know what's going on with our bodies, whether it's the proper terminology, what changes we're going through, what we can look like. Ignorance only makes our experiences more confusing and harder — especially when we're young and probably have a million different questions.

She explains that if you ask people specifics like 'How does a period work,' then they may not know the answer. "The same goes for if you ask what's the difference between a freckle and a mole," Redd explains. "It may not seem like these things are a big deal, but when something goes wrong, you need to know 'I need to get this thing checked out.'"

Information is power, and when armed with information about our bodies we can lead safer, healthier lives. Instead of wondering why we don't talk about things enough, Redd decided to take the bull by the horns and talk about them — and she thinks you should talk about them, even (and sometimes especially) when they're uncomfortable. She says, "Any time you feel shame or discomfort discussing your body, that's a sign you don't have enough information."

If you find yourself unable to ask other people questions, but want to start feeling comfortable in your body, I highly recommend that you read both Body Drama and The Real Body Manual because they're equipped with detailed explanations — and helpful imagery — about how bodies actually look, work, and feel.

Buy 'The Real Body Manual' Here!

The Real Body Manual

What is eldest daughter syndrome?

While The New York Timesreports that eldest daughter syndrome "isn’t an actual mental health diagnosis" — AKA it's not an official disorder recognized in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) — the symptoms seem to have a very real effect on the people struggling with it. Paruolo explains, "Often times with my clients, we explore 'eldest daughter experiences' as a way to avoid pathologizing this now normalized response to family roles and expectations. The eldest daughter experiences behavioral patterns and emotional experiences that are unique to their birth order in comparison to other siblings."

What does this all mean in practice? Paruolo says that families tend to place a ton more expectations on firstborn children, from achievements to overall responsibilities. According to Paruolo, this can put pressure on these children to lead and set a good example for younger siblings. Over time, that pressure can grow and evolve, leading an eldest daughter to taking on more and more throughout her life — even outside of the family home she grew up in — and cause further complications in their relationships, workplace, and otherwise.

What are the symptoms of eldest daughter syndrome?

Like I said before, you naturally carry a lot of these experiences from childhood into your adult interactions. And while having leadership proclivities and high standards for yourself isn't inherently a bad thing, all of these pressing expectations can morph into more frustrating symptoms later on in life.

Since this isn't an exact diagnosis or disorder (yet), a lot of these symptoms can come from the practical findings from therapists over time. With Paruolo's clients, she's noticed that eldest daughters "might experience symptoms of perfectionism and unrealistic self-induced demands in both workplaces and relationships." She explains that this can look like a lack of delegation or asking for help. Paroulo also notes that eldest daughters may innately "prioritize others' needs before they acknowledge their own" — and if they choose to pick their own needs first, they may end up feeling guilty in the long run.

Each of these symptoms can pop up in an eldest daughter's day-to-day, but they can also have some unfortunate long term effects if they go unaddressed. "Long term effects might look like consciously or unconsciously being placed in a caregiving role, which can lead to burnout in many relationships," Paruolo says. She explains that this "immense pressure" and the climbing responsibilities can eventually cause chronic stress — and potentially even lead to resentment toward family members.

For a fictional — but still practical! — example, let's think about Daphne Bridgerton. In season 1, we immediately see the extreme weight Daphne bears to find a good, respectable marriage that will make her family proud and cement their societal standing even further. That's a ton of pressure for anyone of any age, let alone a 21-year-old woman. Meanwhile, her older brothers Anthony and Benedict are 29 and 27, respectively — and if you remember, they don't seem to nervous about their own standings on the marriage mart, let alone seem eager to marry yet at all.

But Daphne prevails! She marries The Duke of Hastings, conceives a child, and fulfills her family's dreams against all odds. If you thought that would be enough, and that Daphne officially check off her eldest daughter duty, you'd be wrong! In season 2, when Anthony finally decides to navigate his own marriage prospects, the family calls Daphne in for help to give advice and lead them through their struggles. So even though Daphne's started a family of her own (exactly what they wanted and asked of her!), her job is never done. She councils, aids, and doles out an endless supply of love and care.

What can parents do to prevent eldest daughter syndrome?

Parents have a lot to prioritize as they raise their families, but there are some small (but very powerful!) things they can do to help prevent eldest daughter syndrome from getting out of hand. First and foremost, Paruolo wants parents to know how important it is to be mindful of how they speak to their children, regardless of their birth order. She stresses that a parents' voice "often becomes the child's internal voice (and often the harshest critic)."

Next, Paruolo suggests creating a more open environment for the family to talk about their feelings about the family dynamic. By doing so, it seems like this could mitigate that resentment we've talked about before, where an eldest daughter may take on more and more without asking for help and eventually burning out. Paruolo notes you can have these conversations at family dinners or meetings — this offers a set time and place for each person to air their feelings.

Finally, Paruolo wants parents that they should be "mindful of the caregiving responsibilities they place on the eldest" while also "encouraging age-appropriate forms of independence for the children in the house." All these efforts can help "breed healthier dynamics," and hopefully make an eldest daughter's life a little easier, one step at a time.

How can women heal from their eldest daughter syndrome?

After reading all this, it may seem overwhelming to recognize that you're dealing with eldest daughter syndrome. Luckily, your symptoms and struggles don't have to define you because Paruolo has some key advice for healing. "Women can deal with and heal from their oldest daughter syndrome by acknowledging their real and valid experiences," she says. "We don't tell someone with a broken leg to get over it, so the same nurturing and understanding of how the eldest daughter syndrome has shaped them is essential for their journey."

There are a few ways you can truly validate these eldest daughter experiences — and work to move on from them. Paruolo suggests practicing mindfulness in order to notice what your innate behaviors are. She says, "It can be a simple three second pause with the reflective question, 'Am I placing the oxygen mask on someone else before helping myself in this moment?'" In doing this, you're able to create a space where you allow yourself to choose your own needs first — or at least start acknowledging them more clearly.

One of the biggest — and I'd say hardest — practices that Paruolo suggests? Saying no. She says that acclimating to the discomfort of setting boundaries and saying that two-letter word can really help you form better, healthier habits. I know I could definitely do this more.

Finally, Paruolo wants eldest daughters to work on reframing their self-worth. She says, "Get curious about why it's an honor to be you (because it is!) and try to separate it from the caregiver or problem-solver role you have been continuously placed in."

If there's anything to take away from my conversation and research, I'd let it be this: your experiences as an eldest daughter are valid, and you deserve to prioritize yourself! Whether 'eldest daughter syndrome' is in a diagnostic book or not, it's clear that therapists are taking these instances seriously, honoring their clients needs — so why shouldn't you honor your own?

I don't want to end this article hypocritically. I struggle with my own eldest daughter tendencies daily, but it's helpful to know that there are very real steps I can take to make my life easier, to exhale. And maybe one day, these lived experiences we all share will be codified in the DSM-5, allowing future eldest daughters to have a clearer playbook to live by — because you know we love achievable, clear goals. 😉

How long have Justin and Hailey Bieber been married?

Justin and Hailey Bieber have been married for almost six years! They tied the knot in 2018 after they were seen walking into a courthouse, but the larger ceremony that had was filled with their closest loved ones.

They looked so stunning that I'm sure Hailey Bieber's look made it to our list of celebrity wedding dresses we can't get enough of.

How far along is Hailey Bieber?

Ever since the couple shared their sweet baby announcement yesterday, fans have been wondering how far along Hailey Beiber is. People confirmed that she's six months and even shared some cryptic clues about her pregnancy despite not fully being ready to share the happy news with the public.

Justin And Hailey Bieber's Full Relationship Timeline

November 2009 — Justin Bieber And Hailey Bieber Meet At The Today Show

Justin and Hailey Bieber first met in 2009, when he was 15 and she was 12, when he performed "Baby" at the Today show. According to People, the friendship between Hailey's dad Stephen Baldwin and Justin's mom Pattie Mallette led to the introduction.

February 2, 2011 — Hailey Bieber Attends The Premiere Of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never

Justin Bieber's Never Say Never documentary thrilled Justin Bieber fans (called Beliebers) — but even though Hailey was excited to be at the NYC premiere, she told Vogue in 2019 she didn't consider herself a superfan.

"It was never that crazed, screaming thing," she says. "I didn't think about it in any kind of way except for the fact that he was cute. Everybody had a crush on him. But for the first few years we had a weird age gap."

November 10, 2014 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Reconnect

In late 2014, Justin and Hailey Bieber were joined by Kendall Jenner at a Hillsong New York service. "One day Justin walked into Hillsong and was like, 'Hey, you got older,'" Hailey tells Vogue. "Over time he became my best guy friend. I was running around with him as his homie, but we weren't hanging out [romantically].""

February 11, 2016 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Are Officially An Item...Kind Of

After sharing a passionate New Year's Eve kiss, Justin Bieber seemingly confirmed his relationship with Hailey right before Valentine's Day. "[She's] someone I really love. We spend a lot of time together," he tells GQ. However, he doesn't call her his girlfriend.

Spring 2016 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Break Up

After the February 2016 GQ story went live, Justing and Hailey Bieber split. But, according to Hailey, it felt much more intense than that. "'Fizzled' would not be the right word — it was more like a very dramatic excommunication," she tells Vogue. "There was a period where if I walked into a room, he would walk out."

July 7, 2018 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Get Engaged

Justin and Hailey Bieber reconnected at a Miami conference from pastor Rich Wilkerson Jr., and by then, Hailey says, they were past the drama. Things fell into place quickly, and TMZ announced the couple's engagement in July.

"He was the first person I ever had real feelings for," Hailey later says in an episode of Justin Bieber: Seasons. "When things kind of went south for a little bit and we went our separate ways, I just knew that no matter what the outcome was going to be, he was going to be somebody that I loved for the rest of my life."

"Hailey I am soooo in love with everything about you!" Justin says in his official Instagram announcement. "So committed to spending my life getting to know every single part of you loving you patiently and kindLY. I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make. My heart is COMPLETELY and FULLY YOURS and I will ALWAYS put you first! You are the love of my life Hailey Baldwin and I wouldn’t want to spend it with anybody else."

September 2018 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Get Married

After moving in together, the couple was seen walking into a courthouse in the fall (via TMZ)! Since slipping wedding bands on each other's fingers, both Justin and Hailey Bieber have admitted their relationship has taken a ton of work.

"I remember when I first got married, I hit a little bit of an emotional breakdown because I thought marriage was going to fix all my problems and it didn't," Justin says in an interview with Apple Music 1's Ebro Darden (via Billboard). "You want your wife to do something that you're not doing and it's like, it's hard sometimes to look in the mirror and really have to realize, man, maybe you're not the person that you necessarily thought that you were."

"There's a reason they say 'for better or for worse.' Like, that's for real!" Hailey tells Harper's Bazaar. "I might fly somewhere and go do a job, but I can't wait to come back and hang out. And I feel like that's because of the effort that's been put in on both sides. At the end of the day, like, he's my best friend, but it still does take a lot of work to make it work."

February 7, 2019 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Have Their First Photoshoot Together

January 27, 2020 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Attend The Premiere Of Justin Bieber: Seasons

September 13, 2021 — Justin Bieber And Hailey Bieber Attend The 2021 Met Gala

To celebrate the Met's America: A Lexicon Of Fashion exhibit at the end of 2021, Justin and Hailey Bieber went old school glam for the Met Gala red carpet, with chic outfits and statement jewelry. Unfortunately, their appearance went viral for a different reason when fans of Justin's ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez started changing *her* name during Hailey's time on the carpet.

“It was disrespectful," Hailey says during an episode of Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy podcast. "To me, to my relationship. It just was. Period. The end.”

While some fans think a feud has existed between Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber for years, Hailey says "there's no drama, personally."

"I can say, period, point blank, I was never with him when he was in a relationship with anybody — that's the end of it," she adds.

March 10, 2022 — Hailey Bieber Suffers A Mini Stroke

During the spring of 2022, Justin and Hailey Bieber were eating breakfast together when the model "started having stroke-like symptoms and was taken to the hospital," she wrote in an Instagram story (via ABC News). In a YouTube video sharing her story, Hailey explains that she was diagnosed with a patent foramen ovale (or PFO), which is a hole between your heart's left and right upper chambers.

On March 16, during Justin Bieber's concert in Denver, the singer confirmed Hailey had been doing better. "She's okay, she's good. It's been scary, you know, it's been really scary but I know for a fact that God has her in the palm of his hands."

The couple later walked the Grammys red carpet in Las Vegas on April 3.

September 13, 2022 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Celebrate Their Four Year Anniversary

Both Justin and Hailey Bieber posted about their fourth wedding anniversary in honor of the special day! "Happy anniversary to my best friend and wifey," Justin posted. "thank u for making me better in every way."

"4 years married to you," Hailey says on Instagram. "the most beautiful human I’ve ever known... love of my life. Thank God for you."

November 21, 2022 — Justin Bieber Celebrates Hailey Bieber's Birthday

Hailey Bieber turned 26 while the couple was on a trip to Japan, which meant Justin's Instagram post was 14 hours earlier for all their friends and family in North America!

"HAPPY BIRFDAY TO MY FAVORITE HUMAN BEING, XOXO," Justin says in the post. "YOU MAKE LIFE MAGIC 😭 OBSESSED WITH EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. LOVE YOU BUM BUM."

May 14, 2023 — Hailey Bieber Is Ready For Kids

"I want kids so bad but I get scared," Hailey Bieber tells The Sunday Times. "It's enough that people say things about my husband or my friends. I can't imagine having to confront people saying things about a child."

And in an interview with GQ Hype later that year, Hailey says that while she looks forward to motherhood, she won't be in a rush to tell the world when she does get pregnant: "When there comes a day that that is true, you, you as in the internet, will be the last to know."

March 1, 2024 — Hailey Bieber Celebrates Justin Bieber's 30th

Justin Bieber finally joined the thirty, flirty, and thriving club in 2024 and Hailey was over the moon. "30!!!!!!!????!!????!!!!" she says on Instagram. "that was fast. words could never truly describe the beauty of who you are. Happy Birthday to you… love of my life, for life."

April 3, 2024 — Justin And Hailey Bieber Are "Very, Very Happy"

After rumors began circulating that Justin and Hailey Bieber were having some serious issues, a source tells People the couple is “doing really well."

“There’s no divorce and no truth to that whatsoever,” the source says. “They are very, very happy.”

Hailey Bieber herself weighed in on the rumors in March, when she posted the above message on her Instagram story. "Just FYI the stories and constant ‘blind items’ I see on TikTok are 100% of the time wrong. Made out of thin air," she says. “So I know it may be fun feeding into these stories but just know they’re always false xx sorry to spoil it."

April 15, 2024 — Justin Bieber Celebrates His "Soulmate"

Following the first weekend of Coachella, Justin Bieber shared a video (originally posted to a fan account) that shows him standing with Hailey during a show. The fan account captioned the video, "JUSTIN AND HAILEY ARE SOULMATES IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS," and TBH I totally agree. The video shows Justin and Hailey Bieber swaying to a song, and Justin kissing her on the forehead.

May 2024 — Justin And Hailey Announce They're Expecting Their First Baby

After mentioning she was ready for kids a year ago, Hailey Bieber's pregnant! So far, Hailey Bieber's pregnancy announcement carousel on Instagram has almost 10 million likes and tons of praise! Revolve even left this sweet comment: "couldn’t be happier for you guys🥹🤍."

But, the best praise came from Justin and Hailey Bieber's families. Justin's mom, Patti Mallette, took to Instagram to share her thoughts in a reel on Instagram that captured her excitement about becoming a grandma. She squealed, "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna be a grandmom! Oh my goodness!"

She also left a happy message on Stephen Baldwin's Instagramthat made some fans question if she was revealing if Justin and Hailey Bieber are having twins. She initially wrote, "Congratulations Grandpa! WE ARE GONNA HAVE THE CUTEST GRAND-BABIES EVER!" but circled back to let people know, "No not twins lol I wish. I just mean in general. Hopefully they will have more than one eventually. They will make beautiful babies whenever they have them. One is enough for now 😂."

The cute moments for the Biebers continue! Justin Bieber recently shared updated pics of the couple on Instagram where Hailey's baby bump is out for the world to see. She's still maintaining her signature business casual look that we're huge fans of while Justin's look complemented hers.

August 23, 2024 — Justin And Hailey Are Hollywood's Newest Parents

Look out Hollywood, there's a new Bieber in town! Justin and Hailey welcomed the arrival of their bundle of joy on August 23 and shared their enthusiasm with the world. Justin shared the cutest photo of Hailey holding their son's foot on Instagram and captioned it, "WELCOME HOME JACK BLUES BIEBER 🐻." Everyone from stylist Georgia Medley to the company Baby Bjorn congratulated the new dad on entering the ranks of parenthood.

Justin's mom even shared how excited she is that her grandson is now born! She tweeted CONGRATULATIONS @justinbieber & Hailey. I LOVE YOU FOREVER BABY JACK" and Hailey's dad, Stephen Baldwin shared his own congratulatory tweet after resharing it.

I think we can all agree that Justin and Hailey are one of the world's hottest parents aside from Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson.

October 22, 2024 — Justin And Hailey Are Closer Than Ever Amid Diddy's Scandal

In spite of the fact Justin and Hailey welcomed their infant son a couple of months ago, the rumor mill is dredging up the singer's past affiliation with fallen mogul Sean 'Diddy' Combs. Page Six reshared screenshots from an old video of that two where Diddy's hand could be seen on Justin's chest. One user on X felt Diddy was "checking Justin Bieber to see if he is wearing a wire," however it's hard to tell since we can't really hear their conversation.

Since the video resurfaced, there have been several reports that Justin isn't doing so well because he could be reliving alleged trauma from the time he was close to Diddy. One report by The News even said the singer "looked pensive" in photos snapped of he and Hailey while they headed to Doja Cat's bday bash.

However, it seems Justin and Hailey are doing their best to continue leading normal lives amid Diddy's scandal. The Rhode founder shared a sweet photo of a little plant Justin surprised her with on Instagram stories, according to PEOPLE, and wrote, "@justinbiber bought me a plant for no reason. it’s the little things."

Justin also shared a carousel of pictures on Instagram a couple of days ago that showed him working on music. The last photo features a tender moment that captures he and Hailey leaning in for a kiss, signaling they're a united front in their marriage.