Everything You Need to Achieve Your Self-Care Goals This Year

Jan 04, 2018

For many of us, 2017 was a doozy, but we here at Brit + Co are ready to hit refresh in 2018! Follow our Hit Refresh series through January for new ideas, hacks, and skills that will help you achieve (and maintain!) those New Year’s resolutions.

As the great Janet Jackson angrily sings to her slacker boyfriend while perfectly dressed in gold lamé, “What have you done for me lately?” This sassy song reminds us that the only person who won’t let you down in 2018 is you, and that’s why self-care is of the utmost importance. If you’re mentally prepared to take on the self-care challenge in 2018, fantastic! But are you equipped to actually follow through? Here’s what you need to master the self-care challenge.

1. Meditate. A mindful way to bring self-care into your 2018 routine is meditation. You can start by meditating in bed before going to sleep or for a few minutes after waking up, but if you’re facing daily stress, maybe it’s time to set up a place in your home to meditate. We recommend starting with a Bloom Meditation Pillow ($40, Amazon), VicTsing Humidifier ($35, Amazon), and non-digital timers like this sweet set of 30 and five-minute OrgaNice Hourglass sand Timers ($30, Amazon).

2. Do a Digital Detox. Making the resolution to unplug is exciting, but it’s also logistically difficult. Think about it: You’ve relied on your phone to get from place to place, arrive on time, and for entertainment while in transit. So, whether you’re unplugging every other day or for weeks at a time, you’ll definitely want a reliable Peakeep Alarm Clock ($11, Amazon), Timex Cavatina Leather Watch ($44, Amazon), a Minimalism Art Classic Notebook ($11, Amazon) for writing down phone numbers, directions and addresses, a Fujifilm camera ($71, Amazon) to capture special moments, and a subscription to The New Yorker ($6 for 12 weeks) to pass the time.

3. Cook a healthy meal. After surviving a season of gluttony, healthy eating is almost welcomed the minute the clock strikes 12 and the weeks of drinking and desserts finally come to an end. Inspire a season of mindful eating by picking up a healthy cookbook. If saving money on groceries is part of your new health food kick, try Naturally Nourished Cookbook ($21, Amazon). This cookbook implements basic recipes for beginning to intermediate cooks by using affordable farmers’ market ingredients. Make sure to check out the golden curry coconut dal, roasted sesame avocado, and baked feta. We also recommend The Love and Lemons Cookbook ($25, Amazon); it’s focused on using what you already have in your pantry to whip up something unique.

4. Start a gratitude journal. Keeping a gratitude journal allows room for positivity to wash over you in the new year. If Oprah can maintain her busy lifestyle and dedicate time to write in her gratitude journal every day for over a decade, so can you. Oprah says Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Explorationby Meera Lee Patel ($14, Amazon) is a must-read book for overcoming self-doubt. If you’re looking for more daily engagement structure in a gratitude journal, try Amazon best-seller Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude($7, Amazon).

5. Do it yourself. How many crafty Etsy gifts did you give last year? How much money did you spend on avocado toast instead of making it at home? How many store-bought birthday cards did you mail instead of creating original cards? There’s no shame in paying for convenience, but if you’re inspired to rely on yourself a little more in 2018, take a class. Learn to embroider ($29, Brit + Co) and spend an hour a week stitching. Or, take a watercolor painting course ($29, Brit + Co) and apply those skills to make original birthday cards. Do it yourself and make it yourself, or at least try to.

6. Read a book for fun. Has all of your recent reading been strictly academic? Or maybe you’ve switched from reading to listening to podcasts. This year, dedicate some weekends to curling up with a book that you actually enjoy reading. When was the last time you laughed out loud while reading a book or cried as hard as you did the first time you read Where the Red Fern Grows ($8, Amazon)? Reread a book from your childhood, or pick up one of the best books of 2017 according to Amazon.

7. Discover new music: After digging deep into the artists featured on NPR’s best albums of 2017, we realized we missed a lot of new music. If you want to stay on top of freshly released tunes in 2018, try subscribing to a music service. Music is a tremendous self-healing tool, so we love the way Spotify makes it so easy for listeners to stumble upon music organized by mood. Or, if you’re an Amazon Music member, your membership includes the ability to stream music from your Alexa devices using Prime Music and Amazon Music Unlimited. Just say, “Alexa, play ambient music” when you’re ready to zone out. Or, if you’re more old-school, try subscribing to this Vinyl Record Subscription ($53/month) and receive three new records to spin every month.

What are your self-care challenges this year? For resolution inspo, check us out on Pinterest!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

Move Over, Mayo: These 30 Aioli Recipes Meet All Your Dipping Needs

Listen – we love ketchup, mayo, mustard, and all your other favorite condiments– by no means are we suggesting that mayo doesn’t have a place in BLTs and potato salad recipes. But, if you haven’t tried aioli — a popular dipping sauce with Mediterranean origins — you’re seriously missing out.

Aioli recipes are traditionally made with garlic, olive oil, and sometimes eggs (the combination of which is, of course, mayonnaise), but modern iterations also throw in lemon juice, garlic, and a whole plethora of other delicious herbs and spices. Here are 25 of our favorite aioli recipes, but be warned: once you dip your French fries in aioli, you’ll never go back.

Vanilla and Bean

Jalapeño Aioli

Let's start things off with a little spice, shall we? This zesty, zingy aioli gets infused with jalapeños, garlic, cilantro, and lime juice to form the most delicious flavor.

Cooking With Curls

Super Easy Garlic Aioli

Let’s start off with the most mainstream, common version of aioli you’re likely to find. This easy-to-make recipe contains only five ingredients: mayo, garlic, lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Like all aioli creations, this sauce is perfect for adding to sandwiches and burgers, and will also take your fries to a *whole* new level.

Goodie Godmother

Cilantro Lime Aioli

Aioli recipes are *delish* on a quesadilla or another Mexican-inspired meal. The flavors of cilantro and lime pair with all kinds of flavorful (and spicy) foods.

The Iron You

Rosemary Aioli

Paired here with meatballs, rosemary aioli is a bit more herbaceous. The flavors of rosemary go well with meats. We also recommend serving this sauce on the sandwich portion of a hearty soup-and-sammie meal.

Hello Little Home

Pesto Aioli

Use some store-bought or homemade pesto to mix into thick mayo, and you have yourself an exceptional (and easy!) aioli recipe.

Vikalinka

Truffle Aioli

One bite of this rich aioli recipe, and you'll be hooked. It's especially tasty alongside some fries!

Feel Good Foodie

Basic Homemade Aioli

This pick is as straightforward as aioli gets. If you're looking to hone your kitchen craft with more homemade dips and sauces, this aioli recipe is a great place to start.

The Suburban Soapbox

Roasted Garlic Aioli

Here’s another crowd-pleasing garlic aioli recipe for you. Pro tip: roast the garlic by cutting it in half, placing the middle side down on a piece of foil, drizzling with olive oil, and roasting for about 30 minutes. You’ll unlock a super-rich flavor that you just can’t get with raw garlic.

The Best Aioli Recipes

The Wimpy Vegetarian

Roasted Red Pepper Aioli

Looking for something a little... tangier? This roasted red pepper aioli will definitely do the trick. It combines the flavors of traditional aioli and red peppers with mustard, lemon juice, and sun-dried tomatoes for a condiment with kick!

The Edgy Veg

Vegan Caper Aioli

Aioli recipes can be healthy — just ask this vegan caper aoil mixture. Salty capers meet mellowed-out mayo in this plant-based recipe.

The Minimalist Baker

5-Ingredient Chipotle Aioli

This baby is spicy – and it also happens to be totally vegan. The “mayo” is made from soaked and blended cashews, while the flavor itself comes from fresh chipotle peppers.

A Spicy Perspective

Magic Aioli Sauce

You'll just have to trust us on this one – this aioli recipe holds pure magic. It's dreamy and bright, meaning it's the perfect pair to hefty, salty potato wedges and the like. Each dip will leave you wanting more and more!

Takes Two Eggs

Gochujang Aioli

Gochujang, a spicy Korean chili and soybean paste, gets the aioli treatment, resulting in a spectacularly spicy spread that can be used across dishes from sandwiches to loaded fries. All we can say is bring on all the spicy aioli recipes!

Fountain Avenue Kitchen

Smoked Paprika Aioli

When shopping for paprika, go for a spice labeled “smoked paprika” or “sweet paprika.” Plain-old paprika tends to be a lot less flavorful. In the case of this pick, though, you’ll combine smoked paprika with a bit of cumin to achieve a rich, spicy flavor in your aioli recipe.

Joyful Healthy Eats

Chipotle Lime Aioli

We’ve already covered aioli with lime and aioli with chipotle peppers — but this mouthwatering recipe combines the two. Bonus points for serving these with healthy and delicious sweet potato fries!

The Real Food Dietitians

Dijon-Thyme Aioli

This rich aioli is a sweet potato's BFF.

Savor The Best

Lemon-Dill Aioli Sauce

Not so much into the peppery, spicy sauces? Keep things light and fresh with this lemon and dill-flavored creation. When prepping this aioli, be sure to bring your egg yolks to room temperature, or you may have some trouble getting them to mix with the rest of the sauce.

Healthy Green Kitchen

Vegan Egg-Free Aioli

Here’s another one for the plant-based eaters out there. The secret ingredient in this recipe is aquafaba... that is, chickpea water. You can store this mixture for up to seven days in a covered container, so it’s great for making ahead (meal prep FTW!) and taking to work.

More Delicious Aioli Recipes

The Faux Martha

Chimichurri Aioli

Chimichurri is often slathered on meats, and this aioli is just as – if not more – versatile. It shares a number of ingredients with traditional chimichurri sauce — a few of the stand-outs are cilantro, onion, lime juice, and jalapeño!

Barley & Sage

Spicy Lemon Aioli

For a dip with more kick, this spicy lemon aioli strikes the ideal balance between tangy and zesty.

Half Baked Harvest

Roasted Garlic Saffron Aioli

Saffron brings a muted, yet deep flavor to this blend that was crafted to pair with feta fries. It's one of the tastiest aioli recipes we've had!

Homemade Interest

Easy Lemon Aioli

When we say this recipe is easy, that’s kind of an understatement. There are literally two steps: whisk everything together, then allow it to chill in the fridge for 30 minutes. It’s *that* simple.

Pink Owl Kitchen

Creole Aioli

All the best parts of creole cookin' falvor are included in this aioli. Make sure you've got a lot of spices on your hands, or else this spicy pick won't quite hit the same.

The Skinny Fork

Skinny Sriracha Aioli

What makes this Sriracha-infused aioli skinny, exactly? Instead of regular mayonnaise, you’ll sub in light mayo and Greek yogurt for a lower-fat, protein-packed alternative.

Cafe Delites

Garlic Avocado Aioli

All those classic garlic aioli recipes we’ve shared above are fabulous, but adding some avocado can be a *total* game-changer. With this recipe, you’ll whip some fresh avo right into the mixture, adding creamy texture and stellar flavor.

Dad With A Pan

Lemon Parsley Aioli

This lemon-parsley combo is decidedly British-inspired and perfect for dipping. It showcases the flavors of mayo, parsley, lemon, Dijon mustard, and garlic. Bonus points for serving it with fried blue cheese olives, as shown here.

Veggie And The Beast

Vegan Roasted Red Pepper Aioli

If you’re interested in a red pepper flavor, but want to steer clear of animal products (or dairy in general), try this vegan version. You’ll sub in cashews (processed with water, of course) for mayo, keeping it dairy-free and super healthy.

Self Proclaimed Foodie

Basil Garlic Aioli

If you’re a big pesto fan, you’ll adore this basil-garlic sauce. In addition to being a perfect addition to French fries, it would also go great on any kind of Italian-inspired sammie, such as an eggplant Parm or meatball sub. (via Self Proclaimed Foodie)

Ruled.Me

Roasted Garlic Chipotle Aioli

See those eggs in the background? That’s because this recipe has you making mayo from scratch. It doesn’t get more wholesome than that. You’ll bring the eggs to room temperature before processing them with additional yolks, lemon juice, and garlic, and adding olive oil toward the end of the process.

Tasty Kitchen

Super Garlicky Aioli

We thought we’d round off our list with another classic iteration of aioli. This garlic-infused version is perfect for all your aioli needs, but we *especially* love it with French fries and a glass of white wine. Cheers!

Follow us on Pinterest, and don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more creative aioli recipes and food inspo!

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser. This article originally appeared in 2017 as part of our Hit Refresh series.

5 Money Mistakes That Can Destroy Your Friendships, According To Experts

Loud budgeting may be popular on TikTok, but conversations about money can still be awkward. I've been in romantic relationship for a little over a decade and we're just at a point where we've become aligned on finances. So imagine having random conversations with your family or friends that begin with, "I know I've never really asked before, but is it okay if I can borrow [insert x amount of $] until I can pay you back?" The nature of your platonic and familial relationships will totally determine whether you receive positive or negative responses.

As helpful as money can be, it can fracture even the closest relationships. Why? Well, psychologist Veronica West of My Thriving Mind, head of advice for Wells Fargo Emily Irwin; and Founder of Her First $100K money expert Tori Dunlap have a few ideas!

Keep reading for a few sneaky ways money can ruin your friendships:

1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

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It's impossible to know how someone feels every second of the day, but we probably all think we have a good understanding of the people we're close to. But people are capable of hiding how they feel about something or burying their discomfort until certain situations 'expose' them. Why does it seem like money has a way of doing this?

Both Irwin and Dunlap agree that "money is taboo," leading people to avoid conversations about it. "Data tells us that we are more likely to talk about any other taboo topic—sex, politics, religion, even death—before we’ll talk about money," says Dunlap. West agrees and says, "Money is like that one friend who’s incredibly helpful but totally untrustworthy—everyone likes what they bring to the table, but no one wants to talk about them directly." Did you think of someone specific? It's okay because I did too!

The problem is that money can make "hidden insecurities come out, old sibling rivalries rear their heads," and more, according to West. "Even something like 'who paid for what' can suddenly become a life-or death conversation," she says. It's strange because Irwin says a Wells Fargo study shows that "many Americans across all ages are worried about money," proving we're all thinking about it, despite our avoidance issues.

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

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"When we don’t have open conversations about money, we’re left to navigate it on our own, which can keep us feeling underpaid, overworked, or unsure about our financial situation," Dunlap points out. She feels "discussing money requires a huge amount of vulnerability" which "isn't easy for everyone." You may have seen how other topics are swept under the rug by family members or friends based on reasons they're not ready to talk about.

Though Irwin believes saying something like saying, "'Here's what's keeping me up at night' or 'here's what my goals are' could strengthen connections," Dunlap knows that "shame, comparison, or fear of judgement" can cause people to remain tight-lipped about their finances.

If you've experienced a weird moment because of money or had to be the unfortunate witness of an awkward conversation, my apologies. It's not fun no matter who's involved because, unfortunately, "money carries layers of emotions, like pride and insecurity, that turn simple conversations into potential minefields," says West.

Dunlap says there's a silver lining if people are willing to be open, however. "The key is respecting each person’s comfort level, and encouraging openness if they're willing to meet you there. It’s not going to be perfect at first, but by starting to share more about your own financial experiences, you can start to break the cycle of shame and fear around money. You might be surprised at how quickly others are willing to open up too."

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

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No one's saying you should never lend friends money, but being mindful about the decision is worth noting. West feels "it's complicated" while Dunlap believes the issue "can be tricky." There's a chance a low-key loan becomes an expectation that you should dish out money every time someone needs help, even if you're trying to maintain your own bills. "Lending money to a friend is like sharing your Netflix password—simple in theory, but one wrong move, and things get weird," West forewarns.

Dunlap also says, "When you lend money to someone close to you, there's always the chance that you won’t get it back. You want to be mentally prepared for that! Otherwise, it can strain your finances and your relationship. The emotional toll can be just as heavy, as unpaid loans can lead to resentment or awkwardness." It's not unusual to hear about certain friends being unreliable in more ways than one after you've let them borrow something. Unfortunately, Irwin indicates this happens because some people "don't expect to give something back that they've borrowed."

Because of this, Dunlap thinks "it's best to avoid loans if possible." Should you decide to move forward with helping out a friend who's in a bind, make sure you're both in agreement about repayment and what to expect moving forward. West says "having clear terms" or "gifting a small amount if you can afford it" is like "buying their friendship insurance." The latter is something Dunlap agrees with because it "helps prevent resentment if they can't pay you back as planned." Plus, she feels it also "keeps the loan within an amount you're okay with potentially losing."

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

RDNE Stock project

It's amazing how money can lead to a friendship breakup if boundaries aren't created or respected. "Money is a sneaky little devil who can push everyone’s buttons. It can cause resentment if one person feels taken advantage of or someone’s 'casual loan' becomes an epic saga of unpaid IOUs," West says. Not only that, but Dunlap knows "money can strain relationships between friends and family by highlighting differences in how we value it, expect to use it, or feel about sharing it."

Friends and family members shouldn't take each other's kindness for granted, but human nature is fickle at times. That's not an indicator that someone you love is a "bad" person, but they may feel like you owe them your time and money. However, Irwin says this isn't "de facto that that person is entitled." Still, Dunlap is more than aware how this can play out. "For example, it can lead to resentment if one person is always the one picking up the tab, while another might feel uncomfortable or indebted because they’ve been helped financially," she says.

On the other hand, it can show up a little differently in families. She adds, "Issues like unequal inheritance or constant requests for financial help can lead to deep emotional tension. Money can also become a tool for power imbalances, where one person feels in control and the other feels dependent, and that can mess with trust and respect."

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When certain negative patterns show up in relationships, it can make people decide to take a step back from being available. "And once distrust settles in, it’s hard to shake; nobody wants to be 'that friend' who’s forever dodging a Venmo request or getting side-eye from relatives at every family BBQ," West points out. How many times have you built up a wall with the people you love because of repeated unreliability or the expectation that you're supposed to help them whenever they ask? If you didn't hesitate to think of a moment, you're living proof that distrust can affect even the closest relationships.

Dunlap says, "When money becomes a main factor in a relationship, it can overshadow the connection, making it difficult to maintain genuine trust and understanding. You can avoid this by having open conversations with friends and family about your financial situation. Clear communication can help keep the focus on the relationship, not the money."

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

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Worrying about how other people feel can keep us from setting boundaries. There's a difference between being an empath and a people pleaser, but it's easy to blur the lines. You can absolutely empathize with someone's hardship while knowing you're not in the position to lend the amount they may be looking for. I'm a huge fan of saying that two things can be true at once — because they can.

Irwin says you need to "address the conversation head on" if a friend does ask you for a loan. Your response may depend on if their ask was "emotionally-charged or "in an uncomfortable environment," but Irwin doesn't recommend ignoring it. If you're not in the space to respond, here's what she suggests saying in a "timely" fashion:

"Hey, I need time to think about this. Let me get back to you."
"We can help you, but here are our boundaries."
"We see and understand you, but we're unable to help because we're trying to pay off debt or save for _______."

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

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Don't think you need to create financial boundaries for yourself and your friends? Think again. West says, "Establishing some ground rules is a lifesaver—think of it adding airbags to the friendship. Setting boundaries early on, like when you’re still in the happy, non-monetary part of the relationship, can protect both sides if things get sticky."

Here's how she advises you proceed with creating boundaries:

Keep it light and be honest; you’re not making a prenuptial agreement here, just letting them know you’d like to avoid “financial fireworks” later.
Say, “I’m your friend, not your ATM.” It’s funny but helps set the tone that your wallet isn’t a free-for-all.
Set a gift cap, such as, "I'm happy to chip in for brunch or a birthday, but let’s not get into home-loan territory.”
If you do lend, draw up a repayment plan. Think of it as adulting with a side of accountability to avoid “accidentally” becoming their financial fairy godmother.
Limit talk of big financial choices unless you’re genuinely invested together. After all, nobody needs to know how much their friend spends on avocado toast or scented candles, let alone home renos.
A little humor and some boundaries go a long way. You’ll save yourself a lot of awkwardness and keep the friendships intact, one “non-loaned” dollar at a time!

Alexander Grey/Unsplash

Tori says, "It's so important to have transparent conversations about money, set clear boundaries, and ensure that relationships are prioritized in any money exchange." Here are a few things you can try:

Communicate about your budget with a “gratitude sandwich.” Say you’re invited to an outing—a dinner, or a sports game—that isn’t within your budget right now. You can respond with the “gratitude sandwich.” The “pieces of bread” are positive, and the “meat” is the money thing you’re scared to say. Thank that person for the invite, let them know it’s not within budget right now, and then offer a cheaper alternative, reassuring them that you’d really love to see them. Offering an alternative reminds that person that declining their invitation isn’t about them, and you still care about them. In doing so, you prioritize your budget AND your relationship in the process.When in doubt, remember that no is a complete sentence. You don’t need to overcomplicate things, and sometimes a simple “no” is all you need.
Set expectations early. When planning trips with friends, discuss the budget and how costs will be split upfront. Having these conversations ensures that everyone is on the same page and helps avoid any misunderstandings. It creates a supportive, stress-free environment where everyone can enjoy the experience together without any added worries!

The Final Verdict:

Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash

Once you've weighed your options and considered what you need, you can decide to loan your friend money. However, Irwin wants you to consider being formal about it. "You can absolutely draft a promissory note or loan agreement so that your friend knows how serious you are about your boundaries. If you want, you can also put an interest rate on it," she says.

It's not to hurt your friend's feelings, but it is a boundary you can put in place so they think to themselves, "This is truly a loan because I'm borrowing money with the intent to pay it back," Irwin says. It could change the dynamics of your friendship, but it's more about being "purposeful about the language being used" so you and your friend can both move in the "right direction," according to Irwin.

If the idea of creating a 'loan agreement' sounds icky to you, Dunlap wants you to seriously consider it as "an extra bit of protection." She says all you need to do, again, is "try setting up a simple contract to outline repayment terms" because it "can help both of you stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings down the road."

Her ultimate piece of advice? "Only lend what you're comfortable giving and potentially losing, and keep open communication to maintain trust and respect in the relationship."

If you set clear financial boundaries and still find that your platonic relationships are weird, we have tips to help you navigate a potential friendship breakup.

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11 Obvious Signs You’re Actually An Empath, According To A Therapist

You and your friends have likely spent countless hours together, decoding everything from imaginationships to the best comfort shows to watch when you're sad. You've probably even settled into a designated role within the group. Maybe you're the super adventurous one, always suggesting friend date ideas for the group to try, while someone else always knows how to comfort everyone when life gets rough. But, have you ever wondered if you're the most empathetic friend in the group? That's easy, just ask Brianna Paruolo, LCMCH. She's the founder and clinical director of On Par Therapyso she knows how to recognize signs you're an empath, plus how to take care of yourself!

How To Know If You're An Empath

Empathy is when "you feel what others are feeling."
There are physical, emotional, social, and mental signs that you're an empath.
You may be an empath if you get physically exhausted after being in crowds, feel anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments, feel responsible for other people's happiness, or you find it hard to distinguish your own feelings from someone else's.

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

Gary Barnes

Like I said before, it can seem like you and your friends unintentionally gravitate toward certain 'roles.' It's not like anyone woke up one day and decided, "I'm going to be the 'mother hen' of the group," but it tends to happen. Why?

Paruolo says, "In my clinical work, I've consistently observed that our friendship roles often mirror our early family dynamics. These patterns show up naturally — think about who in your friend group gets the first crisis call, who plans all the gatherings, or who everyone turns to for emotional support." I'm willing to bet you thought of a name for each scenario — including yours — because I know I did!

"Like in families, we each fall into specific roles that feel familiar to us," Paruolo further explains.

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

cottonbro studio

There's so many definitions for empathy, but I thought it would be wise to ask a licensed professional for her opinion on the matter. "Empathy means to feel what others are feeling. You do not have to have a personal direct experience with something to feel empathy for another person," shares Paruolo.

For example, your friend could call to tell you she has to have fibroid removal surgery and is feeling scared. You may have never had surgery, but you could find yourself feeling the need to comfort her in spite of this. Paruolo says, "The cool thing about our brains is that we have mirror neurons, which means part of our brain is set up to feel what others feel. The ability to attune to others' emotional states comes naturally to some people, while others may need to develop this capacity more consciously."

Yaroslav Shuraev

To break it down even further, here's signs that Paruolo says point to your empathetic nature.

Physical Signs:

Getting physically exhausted after being in crowds
Feeling drained after social interactions, even enjoyable ones (OMG I feel so seen!)
Needing extra time alone to recharge

Emotional Signs:

Absorbing other people's emotions like a sponge
Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in emotionally charged environments
Finding it hard to watch violence or cruelty in movies/TV

Social Signs:

Feeling responsible for others' happiness
Having trouble saying "no" to people who need help

Mental Signs:

Picking up on subtle changes in others' moods
Being highly attuned to body language and tone
Finding it hard to distinguish your feelings from others' feelings

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

Mikhail Nilov

I've been an empath for as long as I can remember and I've found that I have to 'recharge' my social batteries at times. I thought it was because I was trying to be superwoman by fixing others' problems, but it turns out theres more to it than that. Paruolo says, "Empathetic friends and people have an uncanny ability to sense others' emotional states even when unspoken, and frequently need recovery time after intense social interactions. They tend to be deeply affected by others' experiences and naturally consider situations from multiple perspectives."

In the long run, she says it can be "distressing" for some people to always feel the feelings of others. Over time, she says, "it can cause you to shut down and retract." This can look like not being as quick to respond to the funny memes your friends send you or not even answering their phone calls right away.

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But, this doesn't mean you're the only person who tends to go through this. "Many empaths struggle with maintaining boundaries due to their deep emotional attunement," she says. Color me guilty because this sounds so much like me. It got so bad at one point that my sister nicknamed me 'Captain Save-A-Lot,' which is actually the clean version of what she truly meant. Still, empathy fatigue is no laughing matter nor does it mean you're defected. You just have the natural ability to show people their feelings are important to you.

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

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You know you need to set boundaries, but what does that mean? Paruolo says, "The key is understanding that empathy needs to be balanced with compassion - it's not just about feeling others' emotions but also knowing how to help without depleting yourself."

One of the things she loves to do is "encourage empaths to set clear boundaries around their emotional availability and make time for regular grounding exercises." As with gratitude journaling, try to focus on an activity that calls for you to be present. Focus on what you can hear, see, touch, taste, and smell.

"Self-care isn't just a luxury; it's essential maintenance for empaths. This might mean scheduling alone time, finding a supportive therapist, or joining communities where you can process your experiences," Paruolo implores.

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Vitaly Gariev

You may feel like it's impossible to ask others for help since your shoulders are the ones people cry on, but you're only doing yourself a disservice by not speaking up. No one's super resilient or able to handle all of their distressing feelings alone. We're not meant to.

It's the reason Paruolo wants you to speak up about what you need. "The most effective approach I've seen is being direct about your needs rather than hoping others will figure them out," she says. I made this mistake during postpartum and found myself expecting my family & friends to know exactly how I felt, but they're not mind readers. The more I verbally asked for help with little or big tasks, the more my mental and emotional load lightened.

Paruolo wants you to look at "asking for support as strengthening your friendships through trust and vulnerability, instead of waiting until you're overwhelmed." By the time you reach that point, you'll be ready to enter rage or full-blown shut down mode and they're not fun.

Avoid unlocking their proverbial doors by scheduling "regular check-ins with trusted friends," suggests Paruolo. "This creates a sustainable support system and helps prevent emotional crisis points.

We have even more self-care stories for you to dive into if you need a mental and emotional boost!

self-care mental health tips mental health friendships relationships

25 Anthropologie Gifts That Are Perfect For The Cool Girl In Your Life

If you’re one of those people that prides themselves on delivering the perfect present and finds joy in seeing the giftee's face light up, Anthropologie is going to be your BFF for finding gifts this holiday season! From home decor to apparel and everything in between, Anthropologie delivers unique and eclectic finds that are fun and fashion-forward. It can be challenging sifting through the endless online racks of their treasures, though, so I’ve broken down the best gifts from Anthropologie so all you have to do is press *add to cart*!

Our 25 favorite Anthropologie gifts for 2024 gifting:

Let's jump into the best gifts from Anthropologie for the season! These are perfect for teen girls, Gen-Z-ers, fashion lovers, and those who can't help but hop on the latest trends.

Anthropologie

For the one that plans like it's a full-time job: 2025 17-Month Monogram Planner

Is there ever a better gift than something that'll help them keep their life in order? 2025, we're coming for you.

Anthropologie

For the cozy-chic gal: UGG Classic Mini Boots

These mini UGG boots are so on-trend right now, any cool fashion gal will adore them as a gift.

Anthropologie

Bring street style to their closet: The Oversized Brigitte Satchel by Melie Bianco

This bag fits everything your giftee could possibly need in the day-to-day – and then some.

Anthropologie

For the skincare-obsessed: NuFACE Mini+ Gift Set

This slightly-bougie skincare device tones and lifts your face while targeting signs of aging, like fine lines and wrinkles. It'll be such a luxe upgrade to your giftee's current routine!

Anthropologie

For the girl on the go: New Balance 530 Sneakers

These fashion-forward sneakers work well across a variety of outfits and occasions, like hitting the gym, going on a hot girl walk, or running weekend errands. The cool girl in your life will love pairing them with her favorite matching workout set and a sleek trench coat when it's cold out.

Anthropologie

Being trendy is too easy: Cherry Lips Bag Charm

Bag charms are all the rage right now, so help them hop on the trend with this adorably eye-catching keychain.

Anthropologie

To wear with her cowgirl boots: Worn/West Let's Go For a Walk Trucker Hat

Trucker hats are the perfect head gear for a casual-get up. Styles that make a statement like this one are perfect for the Western fashion lover!

Anthropologie

Seasonal scent for their space: Icon Woody Fresh Balsam & Cedarwood Glass Candle

Anthropologie's candle selection is bomb – you're bound to find a scent your giftee will approve of. We recommend this seasonal woody scent encased in a festive, tree-dotted glass!

Anthropologie

Unique lighter that looks like decor: Nomatiq Flume Electric Lighter

Pick up this electric lighter to coordinate with any candle gift. We promise they've never owned a lighter like this!

Anthropologie

Okay, she's a bookworm: I-SEA Aviator Readers

Whether she's working through her current TBR list or starting off the workweek, these chic readers will help her see clearly. You can snag 'em in a handful of colors and different strengths based on her vision.

Anthropologie

Straight to the point for the shoe lover: Maeve Pointed-Toe Moto Mary Jane Flats

All the cool girls are rocking pointed flats for winter. Bonus points for this pair being metallic!

Looking for more gift recommendations for 2024? Be sure to sign up for our email newsletter!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

This post has been updated with additional reporting by Meredith Holser.

gift ideas gift giving anthropologie shopping holidays gifts

Cheeky Gift Ideas That Suit Anyone and Everyone

Surprise your loved ones with these cheeky gift ideas that are perfect for anyone and everyone! From quirky gadgets to fun, useful finds and playful accessories, these picks are designed to bring a smile to anyone's face. Whether you're shopping for a close friend or that hard-to-please relative, these unique finds add a dash of humor and charm to your holiday gifting. Explore these playful gifts and make this season memorable with presents that everyone will enjoy.

Thanks for reading about our favorite finds from across the internet! FYI: We participate in affiliate programs and may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.

This calming toy to Help Reduce Anxiety

Amazon

This Purrble calming toy has been awarded Amazon’s choice, and will be both fun and soothing for children. It is a high-tech tool and a soft, furry toy that is a cuddly interactive companion that can help children stay calm in moment of stress and anxiety!

Everything You Need to Achieve Your Self-Care Goals This Year

The Best Aioli Recipes

More Delicious Aioli Recipes

Keep reading for a few sneaky ways money can ruin your friendships:

1. Talking About Money Can Expose Hidden Feelings

2. And Money Can Also Create Unease In Conversations

3. Making Assumptions About Other’s Money Status And Financial Situation Can Lead To Disrespecting Boundaries

4. Lending Money Is A Slippery Slope That Can Lead To Distrust And Resentment

5. You Can Worry You're Not A Good Friend Or Family Member For Setting Money Boundaries

Yes, Financial Boundaries Are Essential

The Final Verdict:

How To Know If You're An Empath

Are there really assigned roles in friend groups or am I just imagining things?

What actually makes someone an empathetic person?

It sounds like I'm the empathetic friend, but are there any downsides to this?

How can I protect my peace as the empathetic friend?

I know how to be there for others, but how do I ask for emotional support when I need it?

Let's jump into the best gifts from Anthropologie for the season! These are perfect for teen girls, Gen-Z-ers, fashion lovers, and those who can't help but hop on the latest trends.

For the one that plans like it's a full-time job: 2025 17-Month Monogram Planner

For the cozy-chic gal: UGG Classic Mini Boots

Bring street style to their closet: The Oversized Brigitte Satchel by Melie Bianco

For the skincare-obsessed: NuFACE Mini+ Gift Set

For the girl on the go: New Balance 530 Sneakers

Being trendy is too easy: Cherry Lips Bag Charm

To wear with her cowgirl boots: Worn/West Let's Go For a Walk Trucker Hat

Seasonal scent for their space: Icon Woody Fresh Balsam & Cedarwood Glass Candle

Unique lighter that looks like decor: Nomatiq Flume Electric Lighter

Okay, she's a bookworm: I-SEA Aviator Readers

Straight to the point for the shoe lover: Maeve Pointed-Toe Moto Mary Jane Flats

This calming toy to Help Reduce Anxiety

This Puffer Bomber Is So Chic

Blow Off Some Steam With A Dammit Doll

A Form of Shart

Fidget Putty Is Perfect For Concentration

Advent Calendar But Make It Makeup

Mini Karaoke Machine

These Slippers Are Perfect for Cold Weather

Remove Sebum and Blackheads With This Tool

The Not-So Piggy Bank

Put Your Phone on DND and Enjoy Some Quiet Time

The Top Selling Pillows On Amazon

Shoe Spray to Spray the Stink Away

This Organizer Bin With a Genius Design

A Portable Photo Printer To Make Prints Anywhere

This Desk Lamp For Lighting But in the Cutest Way

Cowboy Hat-Wearing Duck Lamp

This Comfortable Bath Pillow Takes Relaxation to Bliss

The Stanley Stainless Steel Tumbler Is a Fan Favorite

Go Solo

Wrap Up In Warm in These Essentials

Comfy Couch Blanket

Nostalgic Glow From This Tetris Lamp

They'll Feel Pampered With This Laneige Holiday Gift Set

Astronaut Galaxy Night Light

Handprint Kit

This Heated Neck Stretcher For the Whole Body

This Camera Bundle for Pro-Level Shots

Give Their Plants a Personality with these Magnets

This Book Nook for DIY Enthusiasts

Relieve Tension With an Infrared Heat Mat

A Coloring Book with a Sense of Humor

Legacy Journal

Christmas Snow Globe for Magic Glittery Moments

For the True Crime Lover

This Kit to Crochet the Stress Away

These Solar Wind Chimes For Musical Days and Nights

Every Kitchen Needs One

This B5 Balm Soothes Dry Skin

Gift the Joy of Cozy, Warm Sips with a Temperature-Controlled Mug

The Screaming Goat: For the Office Jokester

This Smart Notebook Transmits Handwritten Notes