10 Things I Learned In My 20s That Are Making My 30s Better

Jasmine Williams
Jul 30, 2024
adulthood 20s vs 30sadulthood 20s vs 30s

My best friends and I always have conversations about who we were in our 20s compared to being in our 30s. Needless to say, considering we're no longer sweating profusely in house parties until 5 a.m. or nursing wild hangovers that left us crouching near toilets the next morning, hilarity often gives way to gratitude. Yeah, we're willing to admit we were fun, hot messes 12 years ago. We're still fun, but we're a little more refined in this season of adulthood.

The beautiful thing about aging is how much growth accompanies it. I'm calmer, more patient, and less prone to pettiness when I feel offended (thanks therapy). Seriously, my self-improvement makes me want to hug the confused, scared, and insecure girl I was in my 20s.

Since I physically can't do that, I like reflecting on the differences I've noticed about myself in my 30s compared to my 20s. I wouldn't say I'm a completely different person, but at the same time there are plenty of changes.

P.S. I'm still learning how to embrace change so circle back when I'm almost 40.

Fikry Pradana/Pexels

I Thought I Still Had To Be The 'Good Girl'

My mom used to get a ton of comments about how well-behaved my sister and I were, but I didn't know I was internalizing them until it was too late. I used to thrive on not being considered a disappointment by church members, people at school, and adults in public. All of that praise made the moments I did make mistakes or do typical kid stuff feel like I was a complete failure.

Every comment about how rude, selfish, and sexual kids my age were emphasized they were things I felt like I had to avoid. I was the girl who didn't care about boys or dating until I did. I was also the girl who participated in purity culture and regaled my virginity as something sacred. Any rule there was, I followed them as much as possible.

But, I eventually saw this left little room for "error." To add insult to injury, there were people who would make comments about my biological dad I tried not to embody. I didn't want anyone to think I'd head down the same path because they thought I looked or acted like him.

The thing about being the "good girl" is that people expect you to perform for them all the time. It's tiring and unrealistic to expect a young adult to fit into every expectation the world has because we're all bound to mess up. I know firsthand how it feels to make mistakes and think you're going to be canceled for the rest of your life because you failed in the eyes of others. It's a lonely and depressing feeling that can follow you unless you get to the root of it.

Ogo Johnson/Pexels

Genuinely Liking Myself Felt Like An Uphill Battle

Being a people-pleaser is probably why I didn't even like myself. It's not that I didn't know who was, but I filtered between settings. Either I thought I wasn't enough or I believed I was too weird to be genuinely liked. There was also belief that my skin color wasn't the "right" shade and my hair wasn't the perfect length.

So, I was always baffled when someone showed interest in me. I thought they only showed interested in me out of pity or some crazy dare just like She's All That or Cruel Intentions. My mindset was, "If I don't like me, why would anyone else?"

My self-esteem was in the dirt and I was the one refusing to nuture it because I genuinely didn't know how.

Pixabay/Pexels

Finding "The One" Was My Roman Empire

Sigh. 20-something Jasmine was fixated on falling in love with "the one" because of all the Disney movies and TV shows I watched that revolved around adults in relationships. I searched for my perfect prince and even thought I'd found him right before I turned 20.

I started dating this guy and fell in love for the first time. It was one of those relationships where we talked all the time and experienced multiple moments of jealousy. Still, I thought he was going to be the person I married so I began molding myself to be everything he liked.

I changed the way I dressed, started listening to music he liked, and even dimmed my personality so I wouldn't be "too much" for him. And when we called off our engagement after he wanted an open relationship, I ended up asking him for forgiveness. 🫠

It took him being low-key verbally abusive for me to snap out of my self-imposed, "He's the one" fog. The day I grew a backbone and called him everything under the sun was the moment I stopped making falling in love my personality.

Samson Katt/Pexels

I Assumed It'd Be Easy To Start My Career

I partially blame my love for Livin' Single, Sex and the City, and The Devil Wears Prada for believing I'd be able to become a career girl with little effort. Okay, that's not true. I knew I'd have to work hard, but I didn't realize that started a journalism career wasn't as easy as 1-2-3.

I assumed I'd be able to get my foot in the door, but felt crushed when I realized a lot of places wanted someone who had completed an internship. Since I was focused on fashion journalism and couldn't figure out my college trajectory for a while, I didn't know how I'd get my foot in the door while living in Georgia.

My mom wasn't a fan of me going to New York either, so I started giving up on starting a career. It seemed like I was placing too much stress on myself to hit a milestone by a certain age. So, I decided to cut my losses and worked at a law firm for 10 years. It's ironically the place I was able to learn the valuable lessons I'm now applying to my career.

Leeloo The First/Pexels

Believing Healthy Relationships Were Perfect

My little stint with my ex-boyfriend made me believe healthy relationships were the opposite of what we had; that they were perfect. You should've heard the way I started weaving in therapy speak to explain why healthy relationships were so great and full of boundaries, especially since I'd never been in one.

I had no idea that relationships still experience highs and lows, nor did I know how to navigate disagreements. I was still on edge from my last relationship because I'd think, "No man would ever speak down to me again." Can you imagine bringing this energy to a relationship with someone who's willing to work towards having something healthy?

Thank goodness for growth!

Elina Fairytale/Pexels

I Expected Parents To Be Perfect

I'm not proud to admit this, but parents used to annoy me when I was in my 20s. I thought my generation had lied about what makes a great parent because it felt like there weren't any. If you ever wanted to meet someone who had their head up their a— about parenting, I was your gal 10 years ago.

Honestly, I said a lot of biased and downright awful things about parents when I didn't have a child. I used to judge parents for letting their kids scream in public and even judged my own parents for not knowing how to handle every situation the way I thought they should. The truth is, I thought parents were supposed to be the all-knowing heroes in their kids' stories. People who could handle anything life threw at them. It just never really occurred to me that parents were individuals who have their own trauma, desires, fears, etc.

Also, I milked the whole being child-free thing. I'd think things like, "That person is just miserable because they're stuck being a parent." As a mom with a toddler who has severe eczema, I cringe at how much of an entitled a—hole I used to sound like. I think it's partially why I understand the "childfree by choice" comments, but can't get with the crowd who tries to pit their choices above others'.

My Mindset In My 30s

Anna Nekrashevich/Pexels

Getting Focused & Honing My Skills Helped Me Start My Career

I have no problem telling anyone who'll listen that I wasn't prepared to start my career in my 20s. I was wildly all over the place, had no self-esteem, and couldn't stay focused on one thing to save my life. Everything I'm doing in my career requires confidence, a willingness to accept constructive criticism, and extreme focus.

At any given time I'm juggling two assignments at once, preparing for an interview, or trying to organize my inbox so I can respond to emails. This is usually accompanied by keeping an eye on my toddler, so it's the perfect time for me to handle so many responsibilities since I get to work from home.

What helped me get to this point is learning how to recognize when I was getting overwhelmed by things instead of spiraling. I haven't mastered it, but I'm able to notice when I need to take a step back to redirect myself. Sometimes this looks like going for a walk, taking a quick shower, or focusing on things I can see, touch, hear, and smell.

The other thing I credit with helping me prepare for my career is practicing like I already had it. I started blogging in 2014 and would interview other content creators like I was already getting paid to do it. This prep, along with seeking out remote internships or publications I could write for, helped me truly understand what my current role entails.

SHVETS production/Pexels

Going To Therapy Helped Me Accept And Love Myself

I'm still learning how to love me in every season of life, but I credit my mom for introducing me to therapy. I frequently tell her how much she saved my life because I don't know where I'd be without it. I've mentioned it before, but this is where I learned how to confront certain narratives I believed about myself.

From believing I had to perform for others' approval to questioning my worth as a young Black woman, I was able to start peeling back the layers of things I'd internalized from childhood. Once I did that, I could truly see myself and it was scary at first.

I'd spent so much time running away from who I am that I didn't know if I was capable of accepting what I saw. But, the therapists I worked with did such an amazing job of helping me do just that. I still have to recite a few affirmations in the mirror from time to time, but it feels good to rely less on the opinions of others.

I can actually hear my own voice in my head instead of past bullies or adults who didn't realize how harmful their "jokes" were. That's priceless to me in my 30s.

Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

Healthy Relationships Aren't Perfect...At All

I think there's still a huge belief that people who have relationships we admire must be perfect. As someone who's been actively working on having a healthy relationship with her fiancé, I'm here to tell you there's nothing perfect about it.

Do we curse at each other or physically fight? No, never have. Have we experienced moments of intense jealousy? Also no. But, we've had to learn how to navigate each other's traumas and personal quirks. We've certainly had to relearn how to prioritize each other after becoming parents which has been TOUGH. I'm talking two years of "I don't really like you at all right now."

If I was in my 20s, I probably would've left because I wouldn't have wanted to deal with anything that didn't feel perfect. I mean, who wants to be willingly stressed out by their partner when both people are dealing with something new and are sleep-deprived + scared?

But I've realized it's not enough to say you want to have a healthy relationship with someone. Setting boundaries, learning to communicate, and being accountable takes work. The reality is that you're not always going to be on the same page with someone you love, and it's okay to agree to disagree.

My fiancé and I have 10 years under our belts so we've had a chance to navigate our 20s together. There's been a lot of growth and apologizing. We both feel that we're doing a great job, even when we have 10 minutes where we really don't want to talk to each other.

That's the other beautiful thing about healthy relationships being imperfect. You start picking up on each other's cues and can say things like, "I'm going to sit over here for a bit and I'll come back once I calm down," instead of having so many big arguments.

It feels good to say I don't need my fiancé or myself to be perfect. We have love, respect, a desire to learn, and a commitment to navigating all the changes that occur in life. That's more than enough.

Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

Becoming A Mom Opened My Eyes About A Lot

When I made the decision to be okay with my pregnancy in 2020, my feelings were crushed by someone close to me during my first trimester. I'd already started panicking about my past comments about parents, but I was also worried about how society would see me once it realized I was about to become a mom.

It was heartbreaking to feel like I was already being attacked for how I was choosing to think about my child. I didn't think it was a conversation I'd need to have because I assumed that person would accept my choices the way I'd always accepted theirs. That fateful interaction made me realize how easy it is for people to put their truths and identities on a pedestal over others. Sometimes it's unintentional, but it doesn't hurt any less.

It also made me start examining my own internalized biases. Eventually I started freeing myself from the idea that people are supposed to be one way vs. the other. I also gave myself permission to understand that people will say and do things no matter how I feel. That any of us could follow every last "rule" imposed on us and someone would still have an issue with me. Basically, my people-pleasing ways started to disappear over time.
The other thing I truly understand is that parents aren't perfect. This is not me glorifying imperfections to the point I think I can get away with anything, but it is an acknowledgement. Yes, I've been in and out of therapy since I was 20. Yes, I have the tools and resources to be more self-aware. But, none of this means I've arrived at the pinnacle of perfection. If you ask me, I don't even think it exists anymore.
Perhaps the best thing I've learned since becoming a mom is how hard parenting is. There's not enough planning, money, or love in the world that can make it a breeze. It's the literal act of being responsible for someone outside of yourself and I think doing it on a daily basis means it'll always be accompanied by mistakes, just like anything else we do in life. But it's oh so worth it.

What are some differences you've noticed about yourself in adulthood? Let us know on Facebook!

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9 Sneaky Ways You’re Self-Sabotaging Without Even Knowing It

You could be secretly — an unintentionally — self-sabotaging in your day-to-day life in more ways than you know. From your job to your friendships, there are probably a few ways that you're counting yourself out and putting yourself last when you don't have to. And that kind of self-sabotaging behavior? It's seriously bringing you down.

Rest assured that this isn't another article meant to make you feel bad about yourself though. It's more of a friendly nudge for all of us to stop being so mean to ourselves because self-sabotaging isn't exactly rooted in self-love. It's like setting small parts of ourselves on fire...then complaining about how much it hurts. That doesn't sound fun, does it?

If you're vigorously nodding your head, let's make a vow to do things a little differently. But first, we have to face the subtle signs of self-sabotaging we just can't seem to stop doing.

Buckle up because we're exposing 10 signs you're actually self-sabotaging!

Mikhail Nilov

1. Treating Procrastination Like It's The Love Of Your Life

We see you snickering to yourself, but it's time to evaluate your relationship with procrastination. Whenever you do it, does it make you feel better about yourself or do you rush to complete whatever you were supposed to do? If you've noticed your habit is a daily part of your life, chances are other people know about it too.

One study found that "1 in 4 Americans say their friends expect them to procrastinate on takes" while "1 in 12 say even their employer expects" late tasks. It may elicit a few jokes, but we wouldn't be surprised if you told us people are starting to rely on you less because you're not starting things when you said you would.

We know it's familiar to reach for procrastination, but it's not helping you in the long run.

Polina Tankilevitch

2. Critiquing Your Appearance Like You Have A Built-In Bully In Your Ear

We couldn't decide if this should be the first self-sabotaging thing we covered, but we know it's serious enough to talk about early on. The Florida House Experience discovered almost 50% of women begin questioning their body as they age which is scary to think about. But what if you're doing that now?

It's easy; we know. Still, there's no reason to repeat negative things about yourself like you're an annoying internet bully who likes to pick fights with everyone. It's soul-crushing and puts you in a position to find new things to critique no matter how many times you swear you'll stop.

Find ways to counter whatever negative thing you're thinking. Here's a few of our tips:

  1. Instead of saying "My body doesn't look like the girls on social media," say "My body's been keeping me healthy so far and I love it for that."
  2. Instead of saying "My face is terrible because I have so much acne," say "My face is doing it's best to signal that I need to take care of something."
  3. Instead of saying, "I hate that I have to wear glasses," say "How cool is it that I get to wear something stylish that also helps me see?"

Anastasia Shuraeva

3. Treating Yourself Because "You Can't Spend It When You're Gone"

We're not financial experts whatsoever, and we honestly don't believe in restricting yourself to the point you can't ever enjoy your money. It's just you shouldn't carry recurring debt so you can have the fun you want. You could be an emotional shopper or have a huge FOMO; two things we know a lot about. Usually we'd say it doesn't matter, but your underlying why absolutely does.

The only person who can get to the root of what's causing you to spend excessively is you, though we'd also argue that a therapist and financial expert can help you even more.

cottonbro studio

4. Not Cleaning Up After Yourself Regularly

The thing about cleaning is that you don't have to love it to do it. It's more about making sure you respect and value the space you're in more than making sure your inner child is appeasing your parents. Leave them and anyone else out of the equation for once.

Wash your dirty dishes with old food stuck to them because you want to have something clean to put your new meals on. Wash, dry, and put away your clothes because not seeing a huge pile makes you less anxious. Put your shoes in a safe space so that you stop spraining your pinky toe.

See how that works?

Liza Summer

5. Being Scared To Set Boundaries Because You Don't Want To Be "Mean"

People pleasers to the front! You're still putting everyone else's needs and emotions before your own, aren't you? We see you and think you have a beautiful heart. We also think it's time for you to stop willingly allowing yourself to shrink or feel uncomfortable because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

A hard fact it's time to understand is that you're never going to please everyone nor should you willingly accept toxic behavior. Your best friend or sister doesn't get a pass for making passive-aggressive comments if you wouldn't let a stranger do it.

Mikhail Nilov

6. Ignoring What You've Accomplished Because You Think You Can Do Better

What are you in a rush to prove Ms. Perfectionist? That you can make your boss regret passing you over for a promotion? Maybe you think you can make your ex regret mistreating you because you've gone on to accomplish everything they said you wouldn't.

Whatever your reason for chasing the next thing is, we want you slow down and look around you. If you're able to afford your rent or mortgage, have a car to get you from point A to B, or have received work accolades, you're not failing. You are doing so much better than you give yourself credit for and it's time to recognize that.

Every time you feel like you have to chase the next big thing, you're signaling to yourself that what you have done is insignificant and it's not. The fact you get up every day to try counts so it's time to give yourself more credit!

cottonbro studio

7. Pushing Your Partner Away Because You're Afraid Of Being Hurt

Eh, we're calling ourselves out big time here. Sadly, we're guilty of being mean to our partners because we've kissed a few snakes in the past and found ourselves nursing broken hearts after getting wounded. Unfortunately, this made us carry fear from past situations into our current relationships.

If this tune sounds familiar then you're probably guilty of starting drama with your partner before they can even think about playing with your feelings. But, what if they're a genuine person who cares about you and you're just being mean? Does that seem fair? Chances are you don't even realize you're doing it which makes this one of the trickier self-sabotaging things you've been doing.

We're not here to berate you for it though because —like we said — we've been there. If you want a shot at having the healthy relationship you want, you have to put down your proverbial fists though — trust us.

Christina Morillo

8. Being Afraid To Speak Up At Work Because You Think Your Ideas Are "Stupid"

Hey, Ms. "I Want A Successful Career!" You're not going to get there if you bite your tongue whenever your boss asks if anyone has fresh ideas to share. We're guilty of sitting on things too because we've been overlooked in the past, but all jobs aren't like that.

If you work with a collaborative team where people genuinely care about your input, don't be afraid to speak up. Even if all your ideas don't come to fruition, it still helps when you actively bounce ideas off your co-workers.

This is the only time you'll hear us say this, but teamwork really does make the dream work.

Vlada Karpovich

9. Turning Down Event Invites Because You're Nervous To Be Yourself

Who made you feel like you have to hide from the world when you have so much greatness inside of you? Point them out so we can have a word with them. Just kidding, sort of.

Really, we're more concerned about how many opportunities you're letting pass by because it means you'll have to actually talk to people and let them see you. It's obvious someone wants to see you if you're receiving invitations to pop-up shops, NYFW shows, and even just a friend's birthday dinner!

If you've been dreaming about rubbing shoulders with certain people in the industry you work in, put your best foot forward and show up! You've been doing the work to get to this point so don't hold back.

We promise you've got this!

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8 "Classic" Italian Baby Names For Your Beautiful Bambino

One of the first (and most meaningful) decisions you'll make as a parent is selecting your little one's name. If you're drawn to rich cultural heritage, Italian baby names serve as stellar options that offer a blend of tradition, charm, and history.

So, whether you're of Italian descent or simply appreciate the beauty of the language, here are some Italian baby names that you can't go wrong with.

Scroll to see all the classic Italian baby names we can't get enough of in 2025!

1. Bianca

Yarenci Hdz

Bianca is a beautiful moniker for girls that means "white" or "pure." It's simple yet elegant, signifying innocence, freshness, and grace.

While it originated in Italy, this name has since become popular in numerous countries, including Brazil, Germany, and Romania. It also carries literary charm since it's linked to the character Bianca in Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.

2. Carlo

Helena Lopes

With both Italian and German roots, Carlo is a distinguished name that actually means "free man." It has traveled across Europe due to its popularity, showing up everywhere, from the streets of Naples to the mountains of Bavaria.

It has a regal sound that carries a sense of freedom and strength. That's why Carlo is a great choice for parents seeking a name that embodies heritage and an adventurous spirit.

3. Isabella

Gustavo Fring

With roots in the Hebrew name Elisheva and the English variation Elizabeth, Isabella carries a sense of grace and reverence. It means "devoted to God" and has remained popular for centuries as a favorite among royals and celebrities.

Plus, its connection to the Italian word "bella" makes it an even more fitting and timeless pick for a beautiful little girl.

4. Alessio

Jonny Pinto

This strong yet graceful Italian name means "defender" and encourages little boys to stand up for what they believe in. As a shorter form of Alessandro, it also has a melodic flow and a distinct, stylish sound.

Alessio's Italian roots make it a wonderful option for those who want to honor their heritage with a classic name that stands the test of time.

5. Francesca

Catalina Carvajal Herrera

Francesca has both German and Italian roots. It's likely derived from the Old Germanic word "franko," which means "Frenchman," but it also connects to the Italian name Francis and translates to "free."

This gives Francesca a sense of independence and individuality, encouraging self-expression and freedom. Moreover, it's associated with St. Francis of Assisi and the Franciscans who embraced humility and love for all living things.

6. Lorenzo

Goda Morgan

With origins in Latin, Italian, and Spanish, this name means "from Laurentum" or "from the town of bay trees." Lorenzo has a connection to nature that's elegant and rich in historical significance.

As a variant of Laurence, it has been a beloved name in Southern Europe for centuries. Lorenzo's lasting appeal is partly thanks to its association with influential figures, such as Lorenzo de' Medici, the Florentine Renaissance prince, and the name's appearances in Shakespearean plays.

7. Luciana

Thomas Ronveaux

Luciana is a feminine name with Italian roots that means "light." It's derived from the Latin word "lux," which signifies brightness.

Naming your daughter Luciana is the perfect way to honor her as a shining presence in your life. This pick symbolizes warmth, joy, and hope while delivering a soft sound.

8. Matteo

Hanna Auramenka

Lastly, Matteo is a charming and masculine name with origins in both Italian and Hebrew, meaning "gift of God." As the Italian version of the classic Matthew, it carries a more romantic flair.

This name also has a lively, energetic vibe and offers the cute nickname option Teo. It's a timeless choice with meaningful symbolism that doesn't sacrifice modern style.

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20 "Inspiring" Self-Improvement Books To Read For The Best 2025

2024 was so tough that I almost thought I didn't accomplish any of my goals. But revisiting the beginning of my 2024 planner and gratitude journal showed me that I actually did a lot of what I intended to. However, I really want to be more intentional about my self-improvement this year — especially as I navigate the loss I've faced throughout this year.

In true book lover fashion, I have 20 books I've added to my TBR pile to help me think about how I want to be a better person aside from achieving career goals this year. They're the most personal book picks I've shared all year because I know I'm not the only one who wants to live differently in 2025.

TW: Two books about healing after pregnancy loss are featured.

Scroll to find the most inspiring self-improvement books to help you have the life you deserve and want in 2025!

1. Don't Overthink It by Anne Bogel

I know some of us are worried about politics, reproductive health, inflation, and other troubling things. But, we're not going to help anyone, especially ourselves, if we're consistently frozen by worst-case scenario thoughts. IMO, Don't Overthink It should be read immediately after Amanda Montell's The Age of Magical Overthinking because it's another needed reminder to stop hurting our brains.

She shares essential tools to help us rewire our thoughts so we're not completely consumed by 'doom-thinking,' which I think a lot of us need. Her ultimate goal? Helping us enjoy the time we're alive.

Amazon

2. The Worst Girl Gang Ever by Bex Gunn & Laura Buckingham

Speaking of reproductive health, this doesn't immediately seem like a self-improvement book — except it is. II don't know how many other women experienced a miscarriage this year, but I know I'm not the only one.

Though the title seems like a funny dig at something that doesn't feel hilarious, it's more than that. The Worst Girl Gang Ever does an amazing job of naming the confusing period that follows pregnancy loss and how lonely it can feel. It's not that other people haven't experienced it, but it operates like an 'invisible' pain.

Authors Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham know that this is a gang no one would willingly sign up for, but they hold space for every emotion that surfaces. Most importantly, The Worst Girl Gang Ever is a reminder that this isn't something to feel ashamed about. That it's more common than people realize and it's possible to heal from.

Amazon

3. All the Love by Kim Hooper, Meredith Resnick, LCSW, AND Huong Diep, PsyD

In case you're in need of more guidance after dealing with pregnancy loss, All the Love shares the losses author Kim Hooper experienced. With the help of licensed social worker Meredith Resnick, LCSW, and board-certified psychologist Dr. Huong Diep, PsyD, you'll find a thorough explanation of the different types of miscarriages. There's also a deep dive into the emotions and fears that may arise depending on how you felt when you first received a positive pregnancy test.

Amazon

4. Feel-Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal

Dr. Ali Abdaal wants to change how you think about being hustle culture. Being productive does involve work, but there's more to it than that. Simply put, Dr. Abdaal's discovered that you produce better results when you "feel good." You'll find information on:

  • Hidden 'energizers' that make it hard for you to be productive
  • 'Blockers' that encourage procrastination
  • 'Sustainers' that side step burnout and lead to a more fulfilling life

5. How to Stop Breaking Your Own Heart by Meggan Roxanne

Is your mind swirling from all the different messages that tell you you're supposed to be achieving multiple things at the same time? We're in the same boat then. But, what if we didn't have to feel so stressed? As someone who's struggled with her mental health, Meggan Roxanne knows what it's like to feel weighed down by life and society's demands.
In How to Stop Breaking Your Own Heart, you'll learn how to:
  • Stop letting your expectations run the show
  • Create tangible boundaries
  • Quit silencing your voice
  • Walk into a season where self-love is the norm

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6. The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

Mel Robbins wants you to embrace two words in your life: "Let them." According to her, most of our problems stem from being worried about what everyone else thinks. You could be a people-pleaser or someone who thinks they need consistent praise to know they're on the right path.
The Let Them Theory will encourage you to change your perspective about what makes you feel joyful across 8 focus areas. By the end of the book, you'll be wondering why it's taken you so long to revamp your mindset.

Amazon

7. How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economyby Jenny Odell

If you're tired of feeling like you're over-performing, Jenny Odell wrote How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy for people like us. It's meant to help us change our approach to everything from politics to the greater world we live in. But, don't think it's just an anti-capitalist manifesto. It's more about teaching us how to focus on things that aren't rooted in anything that feels distracting.

Amazon

8. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert

Creative unite! It's about time we think about our processes if we have them. But first, Elizabeth Gilbert wants us to spend time being inspired again, beginning with feeding our curious nature. However, this isn't just about creating art.
Gilbert wants us to live big, juicy lives that feel good and if that sounds delulu as we head into 2025, I'm not sure she'd bat an eye before telling us that's how it's supposed to feel.

Amazon

9. Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily (No Matter What) by Matthew Hussey

2025's the year you're ready to let go of limiting beliefs about romantic love so you can start dating intentionally, or something like that. Listen, I still believe in the beauty of it so I'm all for this being one of your goals in 2025. To help you get on the right track, I'm recommending Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily (No Matter What).
You're going to break up with your tendency to self-sabotage because you want to ruin things before the other person does. You're also going to learn how not to give too much to a person while leaving nothing for yourself. Sound familiar?
Hussey knows, but has all the tools you need to tidy up your love life (and habits).

Amazon

10. Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight

This books leaves nothing to your imagination because it's very straight forward. No matter how good of a person you think you are, there's probably a few habits you could stand to change. For some of us, our FOMO even though we keep RSVP'ing 'no' to events or parties is part of our problem. For others, it's knowing your social media account isn't going to grow just because you keep looking at it.

Sarah Knight wrote Get Your Sh*t Together as a way to help you clear some things out of your mind. You'll learn how to organize (not compartmentalize) things so you stop making self-depreciating jokes about your procrastination habits. She also has neat tips about reaching the money goals you've yet to accomplish...*sigh.*

P.S. The last sentence was actually directed towards me.

Amazon

11. The Happy Me Project by Holly Matthews

Guess what? Self-improvement isn't just reserved for influencers on the internet who seem to know just what to say. Holly Matthews wants you to know you can work on yourself in order to shape your life the way you want.

After losing her husband to brain cancer, she had to figure out how to raise two daughters while also taking care of herself. Once she learned how to do so, she decided to share her findings with readers in The Happy Me Project.

Think of it as a love letter from a friend who's experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

Amazon

12. The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser

Is it possible to be 100% selfish? Sure, but not if we're prioritizing our mental health or looking to improve areas of our lives. Before we do any of these things, Shannon Kaiser says it's imperative that we focus on loving ourselves first. This means it's time to let of limiting beliefs about mistakes we've made and trauma we've experienced.
Any thought that makes us believe we're incapable of living a life we love while loving ourselves will be challenged as we read The Self-Love Experiment.

Amazon

13. Own Your Glow by Latham Thomas

Latham Thomas is a wellness and lifestyle guru who makes it her mission to help others live lives that feel beautiful to them. She shares real examples of women who have felt stuck in their lives and offers ways for people to move through certain blockages as a result. Some of these tips include do include lifestyle changes (yes), but that's necessary when we want to part ways with old habits.
My sister gave this book to me as a birthday gift when I was in my 20s and I always refer back to it when I need help moving through something difficult in my life.

Amazon

14. Emotional Detoxby Sherianna Boyle, MED, CAGS

We've all experienced food detoxes in our lives, but when have we engaged with something like Emotional Detox before? Wellness expert Sherianna Boyle, MED, CAGS is challenging us to to check in with ourselves emotionally and mentally because she's sure it's been a while since we've done it.
Even though we don't like to think about it, it's impossible that we can say and do toxic things when we're not allowing ourselves to process how we feel about something. It doesn't mean we're 'bad' people, but unchecked emotions can lead to a lot of unchecked movement in other areas of lives.
With her C.L.E.A.N.S.E. method, Boyle teaches it's possible to reset ourselves so we can feel at ease:
  • "Clear your pathways"
  • "Look inward"
  • "Emit positivity"
  • "Activate"
  • "Nourish"
  • "Surrender"
  • "Ease your way into your best self"

Amazon

15. Financial Feminist by Tori Dunlap

Did you think it's time for us to stop talking about finances? More than ever, we need to confront our relationship with money and see what's causing us to make decisions that take more money out of our pockets. As a fan of #treatyourself culture, even I know it can be rooted in something deeper than wanting to reward ourselves.
What Financial Feminist does is speak a language that doesn't punish us for wanting to have nice things. Instead, Tori Dunlap talks about how creating a budget for bills, paying back debt (hi student loans), savings, and things that bring you pleasure are essential for living life to the fullest.

Amazon

16. Democracy in Retrograde by Sami Sage and Emily Amick

I usually shy away from talking about politics, but I'm not interested in the social awkwardness and repeat of 2016. Democracy in Retrograde challenges us to confront our uncomfortable feelings about being bombarded with divisiveness and a general lack of distrust in just about everything.
Lawyer Emily Amick and Betches cofounder Sami Sage don't want us to crawl under our beds so we can hide from the world. Instead, they want to equip us with tools to form real communities that can help better this country. In order to do that, we have to start reading and educating ourselves instead of solely relying on the media to tell us how to feel.This sounds rich coming from a journalist, but I spent enough time with grandparents who were easily swayed by the news to know how it can affect people's rational and comprehension skills.
Self-improvement is amazing, but it doesn't always have to be about learning how to love yourself. Sometimes it involves learning more about the country you live in so you can be armed with knowledge when the powers that be try to make you feel like you're another uneducated citizen.

Amazon

17. It's Not Hysteria by Karen Tang, MD, MPH

Am I really including another book about reproductive health? I am because having a miscarriage made me realize some people have reduced having a uterus to whether someone is giving birth or not. While one does include ovaries filled with eggs, there's so many other things that occur. For example, there's things like PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids, cysts, and more that can affect a woman's health that people still aren't fully aware of.
Dr. Karen Tang, MD, MPH wants to help change the conversation so that people are more aware of how their bodies work. Also, she willing to shed light on how why pelvic challenges occur and how they can be treated.

Amazon

18. Glow in the F---ing Darkby Tara Schuster

Tara Schuster knows what it's like to fall apart and hit rock bottom because she's done it several times in her life. From having a tough childhood to losing the job she let define who she is, she's been through a lot. It wasn't until she had an "ah ha" moment during the pandemic that she decided to take back control of her life, so she wrote Glow in the F---ng Dark.
It's full of encouraging tips about allowing ourselves to heal from painful moments so we can go on to embrace the life we deserve to live. Unlike other self-improvement books, this one reads like something your bestie is willing to drop in your groupchat when she has wisdom to share.

Amazon

19. Women Living Deliciously by Florence Given

Doesn't the title make you think about your favorite comfort meal? It might just be me since I'm writing this instead of eating breakfast, but I digress. There's something beautiful about a book that encourages women to live audaciously in a world that loves to try to silence our voices.
Within these pages, Florence Given walks through everything from shame to self-objectification to help us see ourselves clearly. If you ask me, we could use a lot of clear views of ourselves so we can stop succumbing to programming that wants to keep us mindless or insecure.

Amazon

20. Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy by Matthew Kelly

Matthew Kelly was just like us — always hustling and bustling to the next thing. It'd become second nature because we live in a world where everyone's busy. But everything changed for Kelly one day and he decided, "No more."
He shares his own experiences with being on the go so much and how it affected the quality of his life, but he also includes how we can break up with this unhealthy cycle.
It's not that you can't be productive in life, but he's more concerned about you focusing on one thing at a time so you don't experience life-altering burnout.

If you need more tips about how to ease into 2025, we have 25 deep questions you can ask yourself before planning your goals.

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

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12 Butter Yellow Dresses For A Springtime Pop Of Color

Nothing screams springquite like pastel hues, but right now, butter yellow is hot. This season’s crop of dresses is definitely embracing the shade in the best way possible! From breezy sundresses to flirty slips, these butter yellow beauties are simply perfect for donning spring’s “it” color. If you're looking to refresh your wardrobe with a color that feels effortlessly chic, these 12 picks are a must-see!

Scroll on for our 12 favorite stylish butter yellow dresses you can shop now!

J.Crew

J.Crew Cotton Poplin Zip-Up Shirtdress

This shirtdress has the perfect laid-back vibe for your spring weekend 'fits, though it's still polished enough that you could turn it more formal with heels and a sophisticated jewelry stack.

Target

Wild Fable Drop Waist Mini Sundress

This Target dress has our full attention! The drop waist is undeniably flattering on all body types, plus the butter yellow shade is right on point. All for $30?! We're here for it.

Abercrombie & Fitch

Abercrombie & Fitch Premium Linen Drop-Waist Belted Maxi Dress

This strapless maxi is ideal for this year's Easter plans, as a wedding guest dress, or as a getup for a garden party! The attached belt pulls the look together perfectly.

Urban Outfitters

Amy Lynn Puffball Midi Dress

Along with butter yellow being a huge trend in today's fashion, bubble hems are equally as cool. Combine the two with this adorable tie-strap dress that supplies a super femme feel.

Nordstrom

Petal & Pup Aliyah Cotton Eyelet Maxi Dress

The breezy cotton material this dress is made of makes it so comfy to wear all day long. What's more is it boasts an adorable eyelet pattern for added spring flair! The square neckline is also extremely flattering and will draw all eyes toward you.

Banana Republic

Banana Republic Knit Midi Dress

Inspired by ballet fashion, this "subtly stretchy" midi dress pulls you together without being overly restrictive. The sheer skirt is luckily lined with a mini-length slip that ensures coverage as you move!

Anthropologie

Anthropologie The Tilda Slip Dress

For a fuss-free slip dress, this silky pick from Anthro is the way to go. It's super sleek and chic, so you can dress it up or down with ease. From comfy sneakers to elevated heels, you'll be lookin' oh-so fab!

Free People

Free-est Taking Sides Maxi

The tiered design on this maxi moment is downright whimsical. We'd wear it to a springtime picnic or happy hour to feel like instant royalty! Plus, it's made of cotton, so you won't have to worry about losing that easy, breezy fit you love.

Urban Outfitters

AFRM Vienna Asymmetric Ruffle Maxi Dress

Hello, ruffles! This butter yellow dress is practically covered in 'em, perfect for formal occasions and dinner dates.

Target

Wild Fable Flutter Short Sleeve Maxi A-Line Dress

How dreamy! This maxi that's fitted with flutter sleeves has such a playful and femme effect, which is heightened by the cutie bows atop the shoulders. This pick is another excellent choice for an Easter dress, but it's easily timeless enough to don all spring and summer long!

Nordstrom

WAYF Cara Floral Cap Sleeve Linen Blend Midi Dress

If solids aren't quite your style, this midi is covered in floral motifs to help you embrace the blooms of spring even further. The lace linings around the hem and neckline are irresistibly cute, too!

Free People

Free-est Onda Drop-Waist Long-Sleeve Mini

The combo of the drop waist and three-quarter-length sleeves on this marvelous mini dress lend it such a romantic feel, which is ideal for date nights and cocktails with the gals. We'd let the squared neckline shine by wearing this with our hair up and some kitten heels for added cuteness!

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7 “Outdated” Coachella Fashion Trends You Don’t Wanna Be Caught Wearing This Year

Festival fashion has always been about making a statement, but some trends are best left in the past. Remember the good old days of flower crowns and dip-dyed denim? We hate to break it to you, but certain Coachella staples are starting to feel more costume-y than a cool-girl outfit. If you want to keep your festival looks fresh as ever, it’s time to retire these “outdated” trends and make room for something new.

Scroll on to discover 7 Coachella and festival trends that were once everything to the fashion community, but have since fallen out of style.

1. Studded Denim Shorts

Etsy

One Of A Kind High Waisted Studded Shorts

Studded denim shorts were everywhere in the early 2010s, thanks to festival fashion legends like Kylie Jenner and Vanessa Hudgens. They were truly so edgy, but the excessive embellishments have since fallen out of style.

Levi's

Levi's Baggy Dad Jorts

If you want to go the denim route for a festival ‘fit, you’re better off rocking high-waisted designs or baggy jorts for a more current feel.

Urban Outfitters

Silence + Noise Mona Studded Shoulder Bag

To channel the good old days of festival fashion, you could totally bulk up your Coachella ‘fits with cute studded accessories like hats or purses!

2. Combat Boots

Amazon

Amazon Essentials Lace-Up Combat Boots

Combat boots – you know the ones! They were once the go-to footwear for grungy festival looks, but along with not being super practical for all-day wear, they just add an unnecessarily bulky vibe.

Tecovas

Tecovas The Beth Boots

Instead, cowgirl boots are the “it” shoe to wear to festivals like Coachella. They’re way more comfortable and go with everything from denim shorts to flowy mini dresses!

3. Fringe Tank Tops

Etsy

Fringe Beaded Tie Dye Top

Remember when everyone and their mothers were chopping up their tank tops with fringe hems? We definitely participated in this festival-inspired trend, even tying little plastic beads onto the strands. Oh, take us back!

Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters Zolli Embroidered Open-Back Fringe Halter Top

Fringe tank tops were most certainly a symbol of the boho aesthetic that was so big in the 2010s, but they’ve now been eclipsed by sleeker styles.

Free People

We The Free Fringe Out Vegan Suede Jacket

If you still want to embrace the Coachella nostalgia at your next festival, try out a fringy poncho or jacket or a purse for something a little more low-key.

4. Flower Crowns

Etsy

Sun Flower Headband

Nothing screams ‘early Coachella’ more than flower crowns, but this trend came and went so quick. Flower crowns became so overused that they became cliché – LOL.

Free People

Free People So Silk Bandana

Luckily, you can still achieve the carefree vibe without having to put one on! Opt for chicer hair accessories like hair clips, bandanas, or bows. Plus, braided hairstyles can totally replace the need for anything excessive.

5. Gladiator Sandals

DSW

Vintage Foundry Pruitt Sandals

Oh gosh, we totally regret that these were even a fashion trend. Gladiator sandals – especially the knee-high, lace-up versions – were huge at one point, but they’ve since lost their appeal due to their impracticality. Not only are they hard to walk in, they take literal years to put on and take off, and can cause weird tan lines if you’re standing out in the sun for a festival.

Teva

Teva Flatform Mevia Sandals

These days, chunky platform sandals or cowboy boots are more the norm when it comes to festival fashion.

6. Crochet Dresses

ASOS

ASOS Monki Crochet Knitted Mini Dress

While crochet absolutely still has a place in festival fashion, the fully-crocheted maxi and mini dresses that were once all the rage now feel a wee bit overdone – and too closely tied to the ever-popular boho aesthetic of the past decade.

Urban Outfitters

Motel Fulvia Ruffle Trim Slip Mini Dress

Instead, rock some sheer mesh dresses, flowy slip dresses, or lace-trimmed pieces that offer a more modern take on lightweight festival dressing.

7. Tie-Dye Everything

Los Angeles Apparel

Los Angeles Apparel Tie Dye Baby Rib Halter Top

Tie-dye was another huge festival trend. From shirts to shorts, everything was seemingly covered in the pattern around the 2010s. The visually heavy prints now feel pretty costume-like, compared to today’s more-refined festival fashion. Earthy tones and minimalist patterns feel more appropriate for today’s trends.

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