11 Things to Do Now for Your Best Year Ever

Leather pants will always make a statement, no matter where you wear 'em.

If you want to be The Moment at this year's NYE party, don't be afraid to have fun with your outfit! This iconic sequined dress and hot pink gloves combo def catches our eye.

Sequins galore! Pop on a matching set with your favorite boots and a chain belt to easily accessorize.

Save this outfit formula – sequin mini dress, tights, and a blazer – for an easy NYE outfit. You could easily shop your 'fit from thrift stores or secondhand shops if you're putting together a look at the last minute.

This little tweed matching set is giving all the luxe looks you need for an elegant NYE get-together.

If a big blowout NYE party is calling your name, you might want to dress a little lighter. Big parties can get crowded and rowdy, so be prepared to sweat it out in a mini dress and practical, dance-friendly boots.

The texture on this dress is everything. If you want your New Year's Eve outfit to stand out, opt for a piece with an interesting texture, pattern, or eye-catching color!

There's nothing a little black dress can't do! Break up the piece a bit by styling your go-to LBD with a colorful belt around the waist. We also adore the statement earrings in this gorgeous gal's ensemble!

Speaking of interesting patterns, leopard and cheetah prints are hot right now. Whether you don it on a top, pants, skirt, dress, or accessories, you'll be looking so chic.

Okay, fur coat! This layered outfit idea is fully convincing us to make a beeline to the thrift and find the fluffiest jacket around. Pair one with a basic black dress and tights, and you're golden.

We're head over heels with this frilly, fringey look. The sheer fabrics add a hint of flirtiness, which is all you need for a fun NYE function!

Leather jackets were practically made for New Year's Eve outfits. We adore the trench-length of this one, especially when worn with a maxi dress that's just as long.

Another pop of cheetah print! This NYE outfit idea has it all, from playful prints to shiny sequins.

This 'fit would be excellent for an at-home NYE celebration, where you want to look cute, but don't want to feel uncomfortable. Mini dress + cardigan + socks + ballet flats have never been so adorable!

You can never go wrong with a fun pair of tights!

1. You're never sure what kind of mood your parents will be in before you walk in the living room or kitchen.

Let's put this on record: parenting is tough — especially on top of trying to maintain a work-life balance. But, this doesn't mean you're meant to be unsure of what to expect every time you come around your parents. If you have to "'read the room'" a lot "before speaking," Slavens indicates this is one of the more subtle signs of dysfunction.

This is where you may have learned how to become passive-aggressive if that's something you struggle with. The reason for this is because "clear and direct communication is avoided and/or seen as bad or aggressive," according to Dr. Miller.

2. You tend to feel like you're constantly compared to and in competition with your siblings.

My heart truly wants to believe this isn't intentional behavior from parents, but I can't say I haven't heard people talk about feeling like they'd never measure up to the 'golden child' of their family. You may have felt insecure about your grades, the college you chose to go to, your career goals, or even your physical appearance. Slavens says this "struggle with self-worth or second-guessing yourself constantly" is yet another sign that your family's dynamic wasn't the healthiest.

Also, Dr. Miller says this could've caused you to learn to "shrink yourself in the presence of loved ones." Even worse, you may "feel the need to hide pieces of yourself in order to be loved and accepted."

3. There was constant yelling and screaming during arguments, making you fearful of disagreements or hardships.

If you grew up in a home where arguments always led to screaming and yelling, chances are you're not a fan of loud voices or hard moments. Honestly, Slavens says it's not hard to believe that "conflict make you anxious, even when it’s minor." Unsurprisingly, you may have become a referee during these arguments and currently find yourself being a mediator in your platonic or romantic relationships. Why?

Dr. Miller says, "You constantly feel the need to manage everyone else’s emotions often at the cost of your own needs and wellbeing." You know, to keep the peace.

Here are some more obvious signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

4. You had to take on a parental role when one of your parents decided to stop being an adult.

I imagine that having an emotionally immature parent is one of the most aggravating and stressful things to deal with. Not only that, but you may have had to help keep the household afloat. You may have had to get a job or two to help pay bills, listening to an adult conversation as your mom or dad laid their problems at your young feet, and more!

If you "family roles were flipped" and you "maybe had to parent your own parents," Slavens says this is a form of emotional dysfunction.

5. You weren't allowed to go anywhere with your friends because your parents wanted to keep an eye on you at all times.

Slavens says boundaries that "didn't exist" or "were rigid and controlling" is a sign your home was a little...interesting. Being concerned about your whereabouts is one thing, but it's another when you're unable to do anything without your parents' eagle-eyes on you. Something as simple as going to the mall with your friends may have become a lecture about the dangers of shoplifting or car wrecks. Again, these are valid concerns but they shouldn't be treated like the verbal form of doom scrolling.

6. You consistently witnessed one of your parents abuse alcohol or drugs at home.

This is a tough because substance abuse is so prevalent in varies socioeconomic statuses and communities. From the functioning alcoholic to the one who becomes belligerent after they've had too much to drink, it always affects those around them. Slavens says if "there was ongoing neglect, substance abuse, or verbal/physical aggression," your home probably didn't safe.

I recognize some of these signs of a dysfunctional family. But that doesn't mean they're affecting my current relationships, right?

I hate to break it to you, but it's possible your childhood wounds have shown up before. "Dysfunctional dynamics don’t stay in childhood — they tend to creep into how you connect with others," says Slavens. Similarly, Dr. Miller agrees that "we typically repeat what we learned at home with our families in our other relationships." How?

"This includes the beliefs and rules we follow, often completely subconsciously, about what can and can’t talk about and why, as well as what emotions are allowed to be expressed, who can express them and how, and how we should or must respond to those people and their emotions," explains Dr. Miller.

Another way to look at this is how Slavens has outlined it:

In Platonic Relationships:

1. Overextending yourself to please others, even at your own expense
2. Feeling like you have to "earn your friends' affections.
3. Avoiding vulnerability because it feels unsafe.

In Romantic Relationships:

1. Struggling to trust your partner or feeling overly suspicious
2. Repeating patterns like dating people who are emotionally unavailable or controlling.
3. Feeling overly responsible for your partner's happiness — or relying on them for yours.

OMG! How do I unlearn habits from my dysfunctional family?

Honestly, everyone has a few bad habits they've carried from their childhood to adulthood. You're not an outlier because some things weren't 100% normal so I don't want you to feel like you're a failure for not having having it all together. "Dysfunction doesn’t have to define your future relationships," Slavens assures. Dr. Miller says you can start to unlearn things "that aren't working for you anymore" by "gathering your family's larger context to gain insight into how and why, for them, the behaviors make sense."

By taking a look at your family's "history and larger social and political contexts" gives you a chance to "see them as whole people with full lives," she says. Once you do that, she believes "you can examine what pieces make sense for you to keep and what parts you'd like to learn to do differently." Her other suggestion? Don't forget you're ability to utilize a "therapist who works systemically, like an LMFT" who "can be a huge support in this process."

Slavens' tips include the following:

1. Practice self-awareness: Notice when a response feels automatic — like people-pleasing or shutting down during conflict — and ask yourself, Is this helping me, or is this a leftover habit from the past?
2. Set boundaries: If your childhood lacked healthy boundaries, learning to say “no” without guilt is a game-changer. Boundaries protect your energy and teach others how to treat you.
3. Learn healthy conflict skills: If conflict made you feel unsafe growing up, it’s natural to avoid it. But healthy conflict is necessary in relationships. Practice expressing your needs calmly and directly.
4. Therapy, therapy, therapy: A good therapist can help untangle the messy, “weird” things that got normalized and give you tools to rebuild healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
5. Surround yourself with healthier models: Whether it’s friends, mentors, or books/podcasts, seek examples of functional relationships and start observing what feels different.

While you're busy unlearning things, Dr. Miller also wants you to remember something. "Recognize that how your family does something is simply that; how your particular family system figured out and were taught to navigate the world. It isn’t inherently right because you’ve normalized it nor is the way another person or family does it inherently wrong," she says.

Ingredients for Paleo Christmas Cookies

For the cookies:

• 1/2 cup grass-fed salted butter, softened
• 6 tablespoons raw honey
• 2 eggs, room temperature
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
• 3 cups almond flour
• 1/2 cup coconut flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

For the frosting:

• 6 tablespoons coconut butter or coconut manna
• 1/4 cup cacao butter
• 1-2 tablespoons honey
• Plant-based food coloring
• Vegetable-dyed sprinkles, for topping*

How to Make Paleo Christmas Cookies

1. Add the softened butter and honey to a large mixing bowl. Cream the mixture together using a handheld mixer until it is smooth. Add in the eggs, vanilla extract, and almond extract and whisk until they are well combined. Pour in the almond flour, coconut flour, and baking soda, and continue mixing until the batter has come together smoothly.
2. Separate the dough into two, and place each one on top of a piece of plastic wrap. Roll each dough into a ball, then flatten to a thick disk, cover completely with the plastic wrap, and place in the refrigerator to firm up for at least 2 hours or overnight.
3. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Remove one of the dough discs from the refrigerator, unwrap the plastic and place the dough on top of a piece of parchment paper, then top it with another piece of parchment paper. Use a roller to flatten out the dough to about 1/4 to 1/2 of an inch thick. Work quickly with your favorite Christmas cookie cutters, and use a thin spatula to lift the cut cookies onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
4. Bake the cookies in the oven for 10 minutes. Let them cool for a few minutes, then place on a wire rack for further cooling. Gather the leftover scraps back into a ball in the plastic wrap or parchment paper and place it back in the refrigerator, while working with the other piece of dough. Do this in batches to keep the dough from getting too warm and so you don’t overcrowd the baking sheet.
5. While the batches of cookies are baking, use a small saucepan to lightly melt the coconut butter and cacao butter together over low heat on the stovetop. Remove the pan from the heat when the ingredients have just melted together. Stir in the desired amount of honey, then set aside to cool and thicken up slightly. If you are using food coloring, add in the desired amount into the frosting mixture (1-2 teaspoons of green or red should do the trick). If you plan on only using white frosting, only use a small amount of honey, as it can make the frosting an off-white or light brown color.
6. After the cookies have completely cooled, decorate them with the frosting and sprinkles as desired. If you don’t have any professional piping tools, an easy fix is to place the frosting in a plastic sandwich bag and remove all the air when sealing the top. Cut a tiny tip off one corner of the plastic bag, then gently squeeze and pipe over the cookies. Use one plastic bag or piping bag for each color of frosting. Top with corresponding sprinkles and enjoy!