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A lot of people pride themselves on being optimists, and TBH, if you canstay positivewith everything that’s going on in the world today, major props to you. For most people who consider themselves the glass-half-full type, it’s a lifestyle. They try to look at everything that comes their way, from relationship troubles to work mistakes, with a positive spin. But a recent study investigated whether optimists still stay more positive than pessimists when things get really tough, and what they found was pretty surprising.

Scientists analyzed nine previous studies to see how both optimists and pessimists brace themselves for receiving important and potentially negative news, like medical test results. They found that even though people who identify as optimists tend to be more positive in general, they too start assuming the worst as the moment of truth about something important nears. It’s easy to understand this instinct, since some people tend to believe that preparing yourself for the worst will ultimately make it less shocking if it happens. On the other hand, some people would rather stay positive whenever possible, since it’s easier to fight off stress and anxiety when you have a sunny outlook. Here, we’ve gathered some of our favorite expert tips for staying optimistic when you’re dealing with some super hard stuff.

How To Stay Positive

1.Learn to reframe negativity. “The trick to positivity is not avoiding pessimism,” says Elaine Taylor-Klaus, a certified professional coach. “It’s really about how quickly you can redirect your focus from negative to positive. Critical thinkers are going to see problems to be solved, but the ability to ‘reframe’ the conversation is the really important skill for people to practice.” She recommends getting into the habit of acknowledging negative thoughts and then asking, “What else is possible here?” This can guide you back into a positive mindset more quickly.

“Bottom line: Negativity happens,” she says. “Positivity is a choice, and the quicker you learn to reframe, the more time you’ll spend in a positive space. Then, over time, the more likely you are to turn directly to a positive interpretation of events.”

2. Ask yourself if this will matter a month or year from now. Sometimes things seem crucial AF in the moment, but might be inconsequential even just a few days after that. Just think about high school drama. “When we can leave the past behind and even know in the present moment that this feeling won’t last, it can help to remind us that time heals and life goes on,” explainsSharon Stokes, life-fulfillment coach.

3.Give back. Volunteering is an amazing way to change your entire perspective, saysLyssa Menard, a clinical health psychologist, founder of Strategies for Changeand assistant professor at Northwestern University’s medical school. “There are many organizations that don’t require an ongoing commitment, so sign up for an event that’s meaningful. Research shows that giving to others is one of the quickest routes toward happiness. While happiness and positivity are different, they’re correlated,” Lyssa says.

4. Role play to be more objective. Playing a little mind trick on yourself can work wonders, says Lori Scherwin of Strategize That, a career coaching service. “We’re often better at helping others than ourselves,” she notes. “Make the situation more objective and less personal to you. For example, consider if it were anyone else in the situation (like your best friend, partner or colleague). How would you see the same ‘problem?’ What advice might you give them to get out of it?” she asks. This will help you shift from being super hard on yourself to more objective, and most likely, more positive.

5. Make changes to things that are within your control. Spending time worrying about something that you can’t change isn’t really worth the effort. Instead, “Focus on areas where you have agency,” suggests Holly Burton, a career coach for women in male-dominated industries. “You may be stuck in a role you don’t love at work, but you could probably work a few extra hours a week and take on a project that interests you. You could also schedule some proactive meetings with your boss to make an action plan to develop the skills you need to make a lateral move,” she says. In most situations, whether they’re career-related or not, it’s possible to take actions to make things better for yourself.

6. Practice radical acceptance. Some professional coaches suggest trying out the idea of radical acceptance, which is basically accepting the things you cannot change, even if they’re not right or you don’t agree with them.

7.Try this gratitude challenge. First, journal about one event each day for seven days that made you feel happy and/or thankful and include the specifics of why it made you feel that way, going deep into the details. Second, send one random thank you email or text to someone each day, either personally or professionally. This message should include what they did and why it’s worthy of the shout out. Detailed gratitude journals are proven to improve your life satisfaction, so try to stick to a gratitude practice, even in the good times!

What do you do when you’re trying to stay optimistic? Have you tried any of these techniques? Tell us about it @BritandCo!

This article has been updated.

Bill Nye The Science Guy and neuroscientist and Emmy-nominated actress Mayim Bialik join Brit for a supersized episode about the science lessons all adults should know. First up, listen in to my conversation with Bill as we cover science hacks for everyday life, how to stay healthy according to science, and his thoughts on climate change.

Then, catch our special bonus segment with Mayim as she connects science and mental health. To learn more about all the things with Brit, subscribe to Teach Me Something New on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts.

We usually associate temper tantrums with toddlers or kids who can't get their way. While that may be true to a degree, I've since learned they can also be the result of kids having a hard time processing their emotions. So, what if I told you some adults don't know how to do that either? It seems there's reasons why having your own meltdown isn't such a bad thing, according to licensed psychotherapist Madeleine Phelan, LMSW of Madison Square Psychotherapand licensed clinical social worker + therapist Michelle Hession of Key Counseling Group.

Hession actually utilizes Internal Family Systems (IFS) at her private practice which doesn't look at adult tantrums in a negative way. Instead, it's often "judged by other models," according to her. "From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, adult tantrums can be a healthy way to release built-up stress when done mindfully," she says. She adds, "These outbursts are often a sign that parts of us feel overwhelmed, unheard, or unseen. When we express that energy — whether through yelling into a pillow, stomping our feet, or shaking it out — it can instantly reduce stress and help reset our nervous system."

From discussing the benefits of having one to outlining safe ways you can openly express your emotions, they have all the helpful details about giving yourself permission to emote.

Learn why adult tantrums don't have to be a bad thing!

1. Have something go seriously wrong at work? A quick (& private) adult tantrum can help you express those emotions.

Andrea Piacquadio

Even if you're one of the lucky people who love their job, nothing indicates things will go smooth sailing every day. Some times projects fall through because of miscommunication, misunderstandings, or a vindictive co-worker who looks to throw you under the bus every chance they get. Either way, it's sure to stir up big feelings that you may not know how to properly deal with.

As much as you may be trying to avoid this, having an adult 'tantrum' may be the very thing you need to do. Phelan says, "A tantrum can be a quick way to release pent-up frustration or anger."

2. Saw something crazy on your drive to Target? Adult tantrums actually help reduce cortisol in the body!

Anastasia Shuraeva

We've all had a front row seat to another driver's reckless behavior in traffic that's left us feeling rattled. We may have begun to grip our steering wheels even tighter despite developing sweaty palms. By the time we make it to our destination, we're likely on edge and in fight-or-flight mode. But instead of holding that energy in, Phelan suggests releasing it. "Releasing emotions and moving energy helps to regulate the nervous system and alleviate tension in the body," she says.

3. Journaling not your thing? Adult tantrums totally count as another way to express what's on your mind.

Ann poan

if you're not a fan of utilizing journal prompts or checking in with yourself, you may not know why you feel so upset about something. This can cause you to feel sad one minute and agitated the next. However, allowing yourself to have meltdowns can help you figure out what's bothering you so much.

Phelan says, "They can help clarify underlying emotional needs or frustrations." Not only that, but she says there's a reason why tantrums happen in the first place. "When we reach the point of having a tantrum, things have often been bubbling under the surface for some time, so reaching this breaking point can be a sign that something internal is needed our attention or to be expressed."

4. Did your partner make another passive-aggressive comment? An adult tantrum can help you figure out why you haven't talked to them about how that hurts your feelings!

August de Richelieu

While this is just an example of a way that you need to set boundaries, it's still a valid one that some people can unfortunately relate to. I'm currently saying a silent prayer for my 19-year-old self who dealt with a passive-aggressive partner.

Antoni Shkraba

But, are there healthy ways to have an adult tantrum?

According to Phelan, yes! I know this contradicts everything we've been taught in our communities about tantrums, but they don't have to look like the outbursts we've seen on social media. In her honest opinion, here are 5 ways to express yourself:

1. In Private: Choose a safe, quiet place to express emotions.
2. Physical Movement: Engage in activities like stomping, shaking, or throwing a pillow to physically move the stagnant, stuck energy.
3. Breathing & Grounding: Use deep breathing or grounding exercises to manage intensity and release pent up emotions.
4. Vocal Release: Scream into a pillow or use sound for catharsis.
5. Journaling: Write down the intense emotions to release them without acting out.

Alex Green

Similar to Phelan's suggestions, Michelle also shares her top tips for having a "productive" tanrum:

• Find a private, judgment-free space.
• Use physical movement like stomping or shaking.
• Let emotions out vocally, but intentionally (a sigh or growl works better than a scream).
• Set a timer for just a few minutes.
• Reflect afterward: What does that part of you need?

In Michelle’s words:
"Set a timer, yell into a pillow, and ask yourself: What does this part of me need? (Just don’t scare your kids or get fired from your job!)”

SHVETS production

Just because tantrums aren't horrific doesn't mean we're giving you a pass to be rude to others or have them whenever you want. Phelan warns, "They're inappropriate in certain settings, such as work environments and public places. They are also of course inappropriate if they involve harming yourself or others in any way." Hession says something similar in that she wants you to "avoid tantrums in public, around children, or at work" because "they can cause misunderstandings or even harm." It goes without saying, but violence is never the answer!

Also, Phelan and Hession want you to pay attention to how often you're using this as a way to calm down. "If tantrums become a consistent occurrence, healthier coping strategies are needed and therapy is a great place to start learning them," she suggests. Hessions feels that recurrent tantrums "may indicate unresolved trauma that's worth exploring in therapy."

Basically, therapy is always a great idea!

The final verdict? The occasional adult tantrum is okay, but don't rely it as you go-to method of regulation and expression every time you're struggling with your emotions!

Be sure to visit more self-care articles on Brit + Co!