Why Mindfulness Apps Might Be Making You More Anxious

At first glance, it looks like America has never been more connected. According to a 2016 Pew study, social media use among women is at an all-time high: 72 percent of American women are active on social outlets like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest. Compared to the five percent who partook in any social media in 2005, that’s a pretty big jump.

Inching along with the wild growth of social media is the decline of our mental health. We may be more plugged in than ever, but we’re also lonelier, more depressed, and significantly more stressed out. Does the technology that promises to automate our lives and connect us with others put us at a higher risk for mental health concerns? Experts say yes.

While the use of technology can facilitate quick connections, too much of it actually promotes isolation. Our follower count or texts threads may give us the impression we’re in touch with community, but looking down at our phones is no replacement for the grit of sharing day-to-day life with others. In fact, tech reliance can actually hurt our ability to connect at all.

“When everything you need is on the phone, there is little need to speak to others, listen closely, or make connections. People become uncomfortable with eye contact, social protocol, and ultimately have few close friends they can trust fully,” social worker Laura MacLeod told us via email.

Relying too heavily on tech use not only keeps us from engaging with those around us — it can also numb our senses. As humans, we grow and thrive when we are grounded in the physical world, according to psychologist Dr. Suzana Flores, author of Facehooked: How Facebook Affects Our Emotions, Relationships and Lives. Latched to our phones, we miss out on some of the main components of emotional well-being.

“We function and process information about ourselves and our world through our five senses. We need to hear the sound of laughter, we interpret someone’s mood through facial expressions and body language, we need to feel the hug from a trusted friend, and so on,” she said in an email. “Such interactions cannot be replaced by emojis or brief messages over a smartphone.”

The distraction and overstimulation that come with a plugged-in life may also contribute to our stress levels.”The high stimulation from devices and their content can actually change our brain chemistry; this is known as neuroplasticity,” said psychotherapist Tom Kersting, author of Disconnected: How to Reconnect Our Digitally Distracted Kids. “We have become scattered and distracted, which is a perfect recipe for depression and anxiety.”

Further compounding the relationship of mental health and screen time is the irony that many of us look to our phones to mitigate our tech addictions, as evidenced by the increasing popularity of mindfulness apps, the tech arm of culture’s meditation craze.

According to Financial Times, there are now around 1,300 mindfulness apps on the market. The most popular, Headspace — valued at $250 million — has over 11 million downloads. While these apps claim to connect us more deeply to ourselves and the world around us, they can actually do the opposite — especially if we use them as replacements for real-life support like therapy.

“Research tells us that the most important factor in creating therapeutic change is the therapeutic rapport between a client and their clinician. Although some clinicians will periodically communicate with their clients over Skype or phone these forms of connection cannot replace face-to-face interactions,” said Dr. Flores.

Whether we’re spending time on social media to find community with others or pursuing wellness via mindfulness apps, relying on technology to connect us to ourselves and others comes with mental health risks. How do we steward our minds, bodies, and relationships without disrupting the use of technology in our lives?

“I recommend we continue to enjoy our favorite apps and digital connections, but second only to our offline realities,” said Dr. Flores.

Do you use a mindfulness app? Tell us @BritandCo!

(Photos via Getty)

Ask anyone who’s found success in their career, hobby, or health – they’ll admit that they didn’t find it overnight. Instead, they’ll attribute their achievements to a simple concept: consistency.

Being consistent is way easier said than done, but it becomes less daunting when you’ve got someone by your side to keep you accountable.

Read on to learn more about Zabit, a new habit coaching app that empowers you to achieve your goals with the help of an expert personal coach.

Zabit

That’s why Roddy Lindsay founded Zabit, a new habit coaching service that relies on pairing clients with personal coaches – AKA the ultimate accountability buddies!

Whether you want to improve your workout plan, decrease your use of social media, limit your alcohol consumption, or get better sleep, Zabit coaches are there to motivate you toward your goals with one-on-one personalized messages, just like you're texting your best friend.

Zabit

“Zabit’s mission is to make accountability universal and affordable. Adding accountability to everyday habits to make them long-lasting should be as easy as ordering an Uber,” said Lindsay, founder and CEO of Zabit. “By combining the empathy of human coaches with the ubiquity of mobile technology, Zabit is forging a new paradigm for behavior change.”

Zabit

Zabit’s personal coaches are psychologists, wellness professionals, and advanced clinical psychology students with at least three years of training, so they’re equipped with all the right knowledge to help you stay on track with your goals, no matter what they are.

When it comes to your personal goals, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Pair with a Zabit coach today – you can get started now with a free 2-week trial. From there, plans start at just $8.99 per week.

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Eating out as a vegan can be a true challenge, especially if you don’t exactly know that what you’re ordering is 100% vegan. Fast food faves like McDonald’s and Taco Bell are secretly packed with vegan items, and Starbucks is no exception. From oat milk coffees to satisfyingly savory snacks, you’ve actually got plenty of plant-based choices when you pull up at your local Starbucks.

Scroll on to explore every vegan Starbucks drink and food item you can add to your order!

Vegan Starbucks Drinks

Starbucks

1. Brown Sugar Oatmilk Cortado

This new-to-the-menu espresso drink combines brown sugar syrup and oat milk to balance out the punchy coffee notes.

Starbucks

2. Latte (Iced + Hot)

You can totally enjoy a latte at Starbucks if you're vegan. Their oat, almond, coconut, and soy milks are vegan, plus many of their syrups qualify as vegan, too, if you want to flavor up your drink. According to this Starbucks supervisor, all of Starbucks "clear" syrups are vegan and dairy-free. Starbucks' regular and white mocha sauces and caramel drizzle are also vegan and dairy-free.

Starbucks

3. Americano (Iced + Hot)

Starbucks' Americanos are just water and espresso, so you don't have to worry about any dairy being in there. Optionally, you could ask for a splash of non-dairy milk and pumps of your fave syrup.

Starbucks

4. Brewed Coffee (Iced + Hot)

Same goes for their brewed coffees, including iced coffee. Easily ask your barista to add in some non-dairy milk and a few pumps of syrup if you desire!

Starbucks

5. Nondairy Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew

This vegan cold brew drink is crafted with non-dairy cold foam that's flavored with salted caramel – and it's delish!

Starbucks

6. Nitro Cold Brew

A plain nitro cold brew from Starbucks is fully vegan and dairy-free. You can choose to add a splash of non-dairy milk, if you wish your sip to be a bit smoother and creamier.

Starbucks

7. Iced Brown Sugar Oatmilk Shaken Espresso

This one's a classic: shots of espresso get shaken up with ice and brown sugar syrup to create a frothy foam, then the drink is topped off with oat milk to cut the bitterness. It's quite a delectable order, even if you're not eating fully vegan.

Starbucks

8. Starbucks Refreshers

All of Starbucks' fruity Refreshers are vegan. Plus, you can can add lemonade, tea, other flavor inclusions like strawberry and peach to add some extra oomph.

Starbucks

9. Iced Black Tea

Their refreshing iced black tea is certifiably vegan, too.

Starbucks

10. Iced Green Tea

If you prefer green tea, Starbucks' offering is vegan-friendly. If you tend to take your tea a bit sweeter, just order it with however many packets of your preferred sweetener, and your barista will add it in.

Starbucks

11. Lemonade

You truly can't go wrong with a lemonade!

Starbucks

12. Hot Teas

Starbucks' hot teas are totally vegan, too. If you want to make them fancier, ask for an additional splash of your go-to non-dairy milk!

Vegan Starbucks Foods

Starbucks

1. Rolled & Steel-Cut Oatmeal

Now onto the food! First up is Starbucks' oatmeal, which you can fancy up with nuts, berries, and brown sugar. Make sure to order it with water to ensure it stays vegan.

Starbucks

2. Plain Bagel

Surprisingly, Starbucks' bagels are also vegan.

Starbucks

3. Everything Bagel

The plain and everything bagels will work for any vegan eater.

Starbucks

4. Avocado Spread

Plus, you can order your bagel with a side of this delicious avocado spread for a nutritious boost!

Starbucks

5. Spicy Falafel Pocket

This 100% vegan snack pocket is new to the Starbucks menu, but it's already become a fan-favorite amongst vegans and non-vegans alike.

Starbucks

6. Chipotle Almond Dip

You can order the Spicy Falafel Pocket with a side of this fully-vegan Chipotle Almond Dip (AKA Bitchin’ Sauce). Yum.

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Everyone deals with family issues, but some people had more dysfunctional childhoods than others. Are there ways to tell? According to family psychologist Caitlin Slavens of Mamapsychologistsand therapist Rachel D. Miller, Ph.D., LMFT of Hold The Vision Therapy, yes!

Slavens says, "As a family psychologist, I’ve seen how growing up in a dysfunctional family leaves its mark. Sometimes the signs are glaring, like obvious chaos or neglect." However, she said the signs can also be "more subtle" being that they're "things you don’t even realize were 'off' until you’re older." You may even "start noticing patterns in yourself or your relationships" if you've become retrospective, according to her.

Here are all the subtle signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

1. You're never sure what kind of mood your parents will be in before you walk in the living room or kitchen.

Emma Bauso

Let's put this on record: parenting is tough — especially on top of trying to maintain a work-life balance. But, this doesn't mean you're meant to be unsure of what to expect every time you come around your parents. If you have to "'read the room'" a lot "before speaking," Slavens indicates this is one of the more subtle signs of dysfunction.

This is where you may have learned how to become passive-aggressive if that's something you struggle with. The reason for this is because "clear and direct communication is avoided and/or seen as bad or aggressive," according to Dr. Miller.

2. You tend to feel like you're constantly compared to and in competition with your siblings.

August de Richelieu

My heart truly wants to believe this isn't intentional behavior from parents, but I can't say I haven't heard people talk about feeling like they'd never measure up to the 'golden child' of their family. You may have felt insecure about your grades, the college you chose to go to, your career goals, or even your physical appearance. Slavens says this "struggle with self-worth or second-guessing yourself constantly" is yet another sign that your family's dynamic wasn't the healthiest.

Also, Dr. Miller says this could've caused you to learn to "shrink yourself in the presence of loved ones." Even worse, you may "feel the need to hide pieces of yourself in order to be loved and accepted."

3. There was constant yelling and screaming during arguments, making you fearful of disagreements or hardships.

Kaboompics.com

If you grew up in a home where arguments always led to screaming and yelling, chances are you're not a fan of loud voices or hard moments. Honestly, Slavens says it's not hard to believe that "conflict make you anxious, even when it’s minor." Unsurprisingly, you may have become a referee during these arguments and currently find yourself being a mediator in your platonic or romantic relationships. Why?

Dr. Miller says, "You constantly feel the need to manage everyone else’s emotions often at the cost of your own needs and wellbeing." You know, to keep the peace.

Here are some more obvious signs you grew up in a dysfunctional family

4. You had to take on a parental role when one of your parents decided to stop being an adult.

cottonbro studio

I imagine that having an emotionally immature parent is one of the most aggravating and stressful things to deal with. Not only that, but you may have had to help keep the household afloat. You may have had to get a job or two to help pay bills, listening to an adult conversation as your mom or dad laid their problems at your young feet, and more!

If you "family roles were flipped" and you "maybe had to parent your own parents," Slavens says this is a form of emotional dysfunction.

5. You weren't allowed to go anywhere with your friends because your parents wanted to keep an eye on you at all times.

Ketut Subiyanto

Slavens says boundaries that "didn't exist" or "were rigid and controlling" is a sign your home was a little...interesting. Being concerned about your whereabouts is one thing, but it's another when you're unable to do anything without your parents' eagle-eyes on you. Something as simple as going to the mall with your friends may have become a lecture about the dangers of shoplifting or car wrecks. Again, these are valid concerns but they shouldn't be treated like the verbal form of doom scrolling.

6. You consistently witnessed one of your parents abuse alcohol or drugs at home.

Ksenia Chernaya

This is a tough because substance abuse is so prevalent in varies socioeconomic statuses and communities. From the functioning alcoholic to the one who becomes belligerent after they've had too much to drink, it always affects those around them. Slavens says if "there was ongoing neglect, substance abuse, or verbal/physical aggression," your home probably didn't safe.

I recognize some of these signs of a dysfunctional family. But that doesn't mean they're affecting my current relationships, right?

Ron Lach

I hate to break it to you, but it's possible your childhood wounds have shown up before. "Dysfunctional dynamics don’t stay in childhood — they tend to creep into how you connect with others," says Slavens. Similarly, Dr. Miller agrees that "we typically repeat what we learned at home with our families in our other relationships." How?

"This includes the beliefs and rules we follow, often completely subconsciously, about what can and can’t talk about and why, as well as what emotions are allowed to be expressed, who can express them and how, and how we should or must respond to those people and their emotions," explains Dr. Miller.

Another way to look at this is how Slavens has outlined it:

In Platonic Relationships:

  1. Overextending yourself to please others, even at your own expense
  2. Feeling like you have to "earn your friends' affections.
  3. Avoiding vulnerability because it feels unsafe.

In Romantic Relationships:

  1. Struggling to trust your partner or feeling overly suspicious
  2. Repeating patterns like dating people who are emotionally unavailable or controlling.
  3. Feeling overly responsible for your partner's happiness — or relying on them for yours.

OMG! How do I unlearn habits from my dysfunctional family?

Antoni Shkraba

Honestly, everyone has a few bad habits they've carried from their childhood to adulthood. You're not an outlier because some things weren't 100% normal so I don't want you to feel like you're a failure for not having having it all together. "Dysfunction doesn’t have to define your future relationships," Slavens assures. Dr. Miller says you can start to unlearn things "that aren't working for you anymore" by "gathering your family's larger context to gain insight into how and why, for them, the behaviors make sense."

By taking a look at your family's "history and larger social and political contexts" gives you a chance to "see them as whole people with full lives," she says. Once you do that, she believes "you can examine what pieces make sense for you to keep and what parts you'd like to learn to do differently." Her other suggestion? Don't forget you're ability to utilize a "therapist who works systemically, like an LMFT" who "can be a huge support in this process."

Anastasia Shuraeva

Slavens' tips include the following:

  1. Practice self-awareness: Notice when a response feels automatic — like people-pleasing or shutting down during conflict — and ask yourself, Is this helping me, or is this a leftover habit from the past?
  2. Set boundaries: If your childhood lacked healthy boundaries, learning to say “no” without guilt is a game-changer. Boundaries protect your energy and teach others how to treat you.
  3. Learn healthy conflict skills: If conflict made you feel unsafe growing up, it’s natural to avoid it. But healthy conflict is necessary in relationships. Practice expressing your needs calmly and directly.
  4. Therapy, therapy, therapy: A good therapist can help untangle the messy, “weird” things that got normalized and give you tools to rebuild healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
  5. Surround yourself with healthier models: Whether it’s friends, mentors, or books/podcasts, seek examples of functional relationships and start observing what feels different.

While you're busy unlearning things, Dr. Miller also wants you to remember something. "Recognize that how your family does something is simply that; how your particular family system figured out and were taught to navigate the world. It isn’t inherently right because you’ve normalized it nor is the way another person or family does it inherently wrong," she says.

Slavens' final thoughts? "It’s not about blaming your family but recognizing how your experiences shaped you — and giving yourself permission to do things differently. You’re allowed to rewrite the script."

Visit the top signs to recognize if you have toxic friends on Brit + Co!

What is it about family sagas that seem to make book clubs more interesting? Maybe it's because we know interpersonal relationships can be a little dysfunctional. It could be that we still don't know how to communicate with the people we love the most. Even if we love our parents and siblings, reading about other families' fictional twists and turns gives us a rush of adrenaline.

So it's no wonder Jenna Bush Hager's January book club pick feels like something we can read without putting down. It's full of complicated relationship dynamics, love, and reconciling one's identity with their past. You can say it's the perfect read to kick off your 2025 reading goals!

Learn more about Jenna Bush Hager's 2025 book club pick and fall in love with one character's journey of self-discovery.

Amazon

The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus by Emma Knight

Penn should be excited about advancing her education at the University of Edinburgh, but she can't stop thinking about the secret her parents have been keeping from her. For some reason, she believes she'll uncover it while she's in Scotland because Lord Lennox — her father's friend — is in the area.

Her hunger for the truth leads her to Lord Lennox's estate where she she starts mingling with his family and even discovers love in this moving novel.

@readwithjenna/Instagram

Jenna Bush Hager's Thoughts About The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus

Jenna Bush Hager thinks readers will love The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus because "it's a rich novel" with themes of "friendship and motherhood" (via Instagram). It's so good, she's sure "it will sweep you off your feet (via Instagram).

We hope you enjoy reading about Penn's journey in The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus and encourage you to check out Reese Witherspoon's January book club pick next!

Trader Joe’s loves to keep us on our toes when it comes to their new arrivals. We’re constantly monitoring the aisles to discover all the new TJ’s sweet treats and savory snacks they launch – and these 7 new picks for January 2025 are not to be missed! All of these Trader Joe’s products will run you less than $5, which only makes sealing the deal on your grocery bill easier.

From delicious dips to a very enticing new frozen meal, these are the 7 best new Trader Joe’s finds you absolutely need to try in January 2025.

Trader Joe's

1. Teensy Candy Bars

These tiny little candy bar bites ($2.99) resemble Snickers in the best way possible: layers of nougat, caramel, and peanuts are enveloped in a delicious chocolate coating for maximum snackage. We're gonna have to resist eating the whole bag! TJ's even suggests using these bits as decoration for other desserts, like sprinkling some on a scoop of ice cream or baking them into some cookies.

Trader Joe's

2. Olive Tapenade Hummus

Trader Joe's array of dips is simply too good to resist, and this newcomer hummus ($3.49) is no exception! It's a tub of "smooth and nutty" hummus topped with a tapenade comprised of black olives, manzanilla olives, capers, and olive oil to give it a salty effect. It's gonna taste so great as a dip for crackers or as a spread on a Mediterranean pita wrap.

Trader Joe's

3. Organic Concord Grape Jelly

This squeezable grape jelly ($3.49) is nothing short of nostalgic. Trader Joe's says it's "super smooth, joyously juicy, and potently purple," which immediately has us sold on making PB&Js every day now.

Trader Joe's

4. Spicy Chicken Nuggets

Oh, yeah. Bring on the spice with these spicy nuggs ($3.99) that make the perfect easy meal no matter the time of day! Made from all-natural chicken breast and rib meat, breaded with wheat, rice and corn flours, then covered in hot sauce and lightly fried, TJ's has their texture down to a tee. You can easily cook 'em in the air fryer, oven, or microwave before chowing down!

Trader Joe's

5. Crispy Potato & Poblano Pepper Tacos

These halved and fried frozen tacos ($4.99) will totally crush your Taco Bell cravings, since they come together super quickly and contain flavors with mind-blowing authenticity! Each taco is filled with a blend of seasoned mashed potatoes and some "ever-so- slightly spicy" poblano peppers that'll work so well with any dipping sauce, from TJ's salsa to their creamy Jalapeño Sauce.

Trader Joe's

6. Strawberry Mini Hold The Cone!

Just in time for Valentine's Day, Trader Joe's is debuting a new flavor ($3.99) of their classic Hold The Cone! frozen dessert: strawberry! These tiny, chocolate-covered cones are lined with even more "rich" chocolate on the inside, then packed with strawberry ice cream, which TJ's says is crafted with plenty of strawberry purée.

Trader Joe's

7. Caesar Salad Dip

Trader Joe's shoppers have said this new Caesar Salad Dip ($3.69) makes a perfect girl dinner addition– which, if you get it, you get it! The tub starts with a "creamy" base that's then loaded up with Caesar-seasoned sour cream, mayo, anchovy paste, Parmesan, and finely shredded Romaine for the crunch. It's best enjoyed with crackers or veggie sticks to dip, but you could also smatter fried chicken or seared steak in it for some ahh-mazing flavor!

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