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How To Be Good At Being Bad

Climbing entered my life when I gifted my boyfriend a climbing class for Valentine’s Day. He’d wanted to try climbing for months, so I figured I’d encourage him to explore it and ventured out to even try a class for myself, too. Months later, I’m suddenly a regular climber. The intro class definitely taught me a lot to actually get started, but there was one thing I had to discover on my own: how to be good at being bad.

It's Okay to Be Scared of New Things

Growing up, messing up and getting things wrong frustrated me. I’m not talking about your regular huff-and-puff frustration — I’m talking about some seriously world-ending, hyper-critical bouts of defeat and honestly… straight up anger. I was angry that I didn't live up to the flawless standards that everyone else seemed to be. I never wanted to ask questions in school because I was afraid I’d be wrong. I lived in my comfort zone for a long time, just to avoid any negative feelings. Despite the abundance of advice and encouragement I received (thanks mom and dad), my fear of failure was huge.

I tackled that fear bit by bit throughout college. I met challenges I’d never faced alone before, coming with my fair share of failures and flops. As I transformed and uncovered more of my identity, I finally gave myself permission to try new things, like group exercise classes and concert photography. The more comfortable I got with failure, the less consequential it was if I messed up. This was a big win, but the importance of being bad at something didn’t fully click until I started climbing.

How I Actually Learned To Embrace Failure

The very first thing the instructor taught us was how to fall correctly. I’m supposed to reach new heights, but they literally taught us how to fail first. The metaphor writes itself. The second thing we learned was that building strength for climbing takes time. Being an (admittedly very) impatient person that wants perfection on the first go-around, I wasn’t exactly delighted to hear that. Before I even touched the climbing wall, I was in my head. With worries and insecurities racing through my mind, I remembered little Meredith who robbed herself of the joys doing that something new could bring her. So I went for the route. Step by step, and reach by reach, I clumsily made it to the top. It felt like I could do anything!

Since then, I embody that fearless spirit each time I return to the gym. Success on a wall isn’t always guaranteed, but dedicating more energy to my victories rather than my failures (or potential for failure) is something I’m working on – and that’s worth celebrating.

Facing Your Fears Head-On

From my experience, fear can be isolating and soul-crushing. You’ll never fully conquer your fears, so using them as a catalyst for new experiences is the best thing you can do in this life. You can be good at being bad in all areas of your life – it helps you gain perspective on relationships, work, and new hobbies. Breaking out of your comfort zone is more fulfilling than staying in it, even if you take small steps. Eventually, you’ll reach new heights.

So let’s start from the beginning. Paris Geller (played by Liza Weil) joined the GG crew in Season 1, right as Rory Gilmore (the show’s sort-of protagonist) walked into Chilton Academy, a private school where Paris was attending, for her first day. A far cry from Rory’s relatively timid and soft-spoken personality, Paris tore up the screen with her high-strung personality and immediate rivalry with Rory (Rory did not feel the same), who Paris viewed as the only candidate who could possibly challenge her spot at the top of the class standing. As the year progresses, the two become friends, which of course Paris still highly questioned.

The rest of their high school experience is plagued with repeated ups and downs, from Paris’s parents’ highly publicized divorce to their joint student government campaign and, most notably, Paris’s C-SPAN meltdown, courtesy of a Harvard rejection fueled by what she can only assume to be wide-spread knowledge that she lost her virginity. Despite losing the Valedictorian slot to Rory (which Paris comes to terms with after finding out Salutatorians tend to be more successful), Paris walks across the graduation stage and accepts her diploma from the school’s headmaster, to which she iconically quips, “no hard feelings.”

Fast forward to Paris’s first year at Yale, a school she knew Rory was attending but had no intention of ever seeing again. Not to the surprise of Paris’s life coach, the two frenemies were placed together as suitemates, a pairing that ultimately served as a catalyst for lifelong friendship. Throughout college, Paris pursues pre-med and pre-law degrees, joins the Yale Daily News alongside Rory, dates an elderly professor (he passes away, leaving Paris to grieve), moves on with the editor of the Yale Daily News, Doyle McMaster, and potentially saves Rory from abandoning Yale forever by admitting to Lorelai that Rory is the only person who ever listened to her, challenged her and motivated her.

Paris then proceeds to become the editor of the Yale Daily News, a position in which her power-hungry tendencies took full-force, resulting in a forcible resignation, kick Rory out of their shared apartment, let Rory move back into their shared apartment (now with Doyle), be accepted to a slew of prestigious medical and law schools. She ultimately chose to attend med school and break up with Doyle, to which he refused, and tells Rory that they’re on their own but she can still do great things (Of course this doesn’t last, the two are meant to be best friends.)

Somehow this doesn't even scratch the surface of the character of Paris. As you can tell, Paris is a fiercely loyal, protective woman who fights for herself to no end. She (literally) doesn’t care what other people think (so long as they’re not within her immediate circle) and never stops pursuing her dreams, no matter how many times she probably should have. She is the epitome of feminism in modern television — perhaps taken to an extreme — and serves as a necessary counterweight to Rory’s floundering sense of self.

So long as she keeps her need for perfectionism in check, Paris has one of those few personality types whose wild ambition and outspokenness is directly beneficial to her success, a success that she, and only she, can define. Sure, she has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but when balanced by Rory’s soft-but-straightforward approach, Paris can quickly reset, reevaluate and move forward.

That's the thing with Paris — she’s always moving forward. She doesn't get into Harvard? Tough. She takes a few days to wallow before considering her other options: Yale, Columbia and Princeton. She doesn’t know whether to choose med school or law school, so she takes stock of her bearings, reflects on her past dreams, and makes a clear, concise decision that she moves forward with.

Her brutally honest nature (both internally and externally) is exactly why Paris works. She’s generous when needed, comfortable with giving tough (and oftentimes tougher) love, is able to express vulnerability with the people she loves, doesn’t allow outside influences to affect her path and never let’s someone (especially a man) tell her she’s less than (*cough, cough*—Rory). For an early 2000s show, she showed women that there is power in education. There’s power in stepping away from a caretaker role. There’s power in expressing your opinion, no matter your age.

There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s inspired countless women over the years — after all, she’s inspired me! Even though she’s had her controversial moments, she’s always been a cheering voice for women, even if it’s behind her resting grimace. For these reasons, and so many more, I am hereby deeming Paris Geller the best of Gilmore Girls — the heroine, perhaps, and a feminist icon to all.