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How To Be Good At Being Bad

Climbing entered my life when I gifted my boyfriend a climbing class for Valentine’s Day. He’d wanted to try climbing for months, so I figured I’d encourage him to explore it and ventured out to even try a class for myself, too. Months later, I’m suddenly a regular climber. The intro class definitely taught me a lot to actually get started, but there was one thing I had to discover on my own: how to be good at being bad.

It's Okay to Be Scared of New Things

Growing up, messing up and getting things wrong frustrated me. I’m not talking about your regular huff-and-puff frustration — I’m talking about some seriously world-ending, hyper-critical bouts of defeat and honestly… straight up anger. I was angry that I didn't live up to the flawless standards that everyone else seemed to be. I never wanted to ask questions in school because I was afraid I’d be wrong. I lived in my comfort zone for a long time, just to avoid any negative feelings. Despite the abundance of advice and encouragement I received (thanks mom and dad), my fear of failure was huge.

I tackled that fear bit by bit throughout college. I met challenges I’d never faced alone before, coming with my fair share of failures and flops. As I transformed and uncovered more of my identity, I finally gave myself permission to try new things, like group exercise classes and concert photography. The more comfortable I got with failure, the less consequential it was if I messed up. This was a big win, but the importance of being bad at something didn’t fully click until I started climbing.

How I Actually Learned To Embrace Failure

The very first thing the instructor taught us was how to fall correctly. I’m supposed to reach new heights, but they literally taught us how to fail first. The metaphor writes itself. The second thing we learned was that building strength for climbing takes time. Being an (admittedly very) impatient person that wants perfection on the first go-around, I wasn’t exactly delighted to hear that. Before I even touched the climbing wall, I was in my head. With worries and insecurities racing through my mind, I remembered little Meredith who robbed herself of the joys doing that something new could bring her. So I went for the route. Step by step, and reach by reach, I clumsily made it to the top. It felt like I could do anything!

Since then, I embody that fearless spirit each time I return to the gym. Success on a wall isn’t always guaranteed, but dedicating more energy to my victories rather than my failures (or potential for failure) is something I’m working on – and that’s worth celebrating.

Facing Your Fears Head-On

From my experience, fear can be isolating and soul-crushing. You’ll never fully conquer your fears, so using them as a catalyst for new experiences is the best thing you can do in this life. You can be good at being bad in all areas of your life – it helps you gain perspective on relationships, work, and new hobbies. Breaking out of your comfort zone is more fulfilling than staying in it, even if you take small steps. Eventually, you’ll reach new heights.

Elle remembers "sobbing" during one particularly emotional Dakota Fanning movie.

“When Elle’s in anything, it makes me feel it deeper,” Dakota Fanning said at TheWrap’s Power Women Summit on December 3. “She never can fully disappear into a character totally for me as her sister. She obviously does an amazing job, but I’m always gonna see my little sister a little bit.”

And Elle is just as touched by Dakota's roles, and remembers "uncontrollably sobbing" after seeing Now Is Good, a movie where Dakota's character was dying of cancer. “Because it was my sister, I had a real traumatic reaction after that premiere and the screening,” Elle says. “Obviously the acting, but it was something felt on a deeper level.”

“I’m doing this job, I’m an actor because my sister started before me and I watched her,” Elle continues. “I wanted to do exactly what my big sister wanted to do.”

And their movies have also made an impact on everyone who watches them.

When Brit + Co caught up with Dakota Fanning at the world premiere of The Watchers, I had to ask about one of her most iconic movies: Uptown Girls. "I love it," she says of TikTok memes and edits giving the movie new life. "It's nostalgic for people who are kind of around my age, who grew up watching that movie, I think it's like a comfort movie for people. And so I love that people are still revisiting it and loving it. And maybe now that everyone's older [they're] understanding different things about it."

Dakota starred opposite Brittany Murphy, who also had roles in movies like Clueless, 8 Mile, and Girl, Interrupted. Brittany passed away in 2009 when Dakota was 15. "I loved Brittany so much and I still miss her," she says. "So anytime that she has, you know, a moment where people think about her is also nice."