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How To Be Good At Being Bad

Climbing entered my life when I gifted my boyfriend a climbing class for Valentine’s Day. He’d wanted to try climbing for months, so I figured I’d encourage him to explore it and ventured out to even try a class for myself, too. Months later, I’m suddenly a regular climber. The intro class definitely taught me a lot to actually get started, but there was one thing I had to discover on my own: how to be good at being bad.

It's Okay to Be Scared of New Things

Growing up, messing up and getting things wrong frustrated me. I’m not talking about your regular huff-and-puff frustration — I’m talking about some seriously world-ending, hyper-critical bouts of defeat and honestly… straight up anger. I was angry that I didn't live up to the flawless standards that everyone else seemed to be. I never wanted to ask questions in school because I was afraid I’d be wrong. I lived in my comfort zone for a long time, just to avoid any negative feelings. Despite the abundance of advice and encouragement I received (thanks mom and dad), my fear of failure was huge.

I tackled that fear bit by bit throughout college. I met challenges I’d never faced alone before, coming with my fair share of failures and flops. As I transformed and uncovered more of my identity, I finally gave myself permission to try new things, like group exercise classes and concert photography. The more comfortable I got with failure, the less consequential it was if I messed up. This was a big win, but the importance of being bad at something didn’t fully click until I started climbing.

How I Actually Learned To Embrace Failure

The very first thing the instructor taught us was how to fall correctly. I’m supposed to reach new heights, but they literally taught us how to fail first. The metaphor writes itself. The second thing we learned was that building strength for climbing takes time. Being an (admittedly very) impatient person that wants perfection on the first go-around, I wasn’t exactly delighted to hear that. Before I even touched the climbing wall, I was in my head. With worries and insecurities racing through my mind, I remembered little Meredith who robbed herself of the joys doing that something new could bring her. So I went for the route. Step by step, and reach by reach, I clumsily made it to the top. It felt like I could do anything!

Since then, I embody that fearless spirit each time I return to the gym. Success on a wall isn’t always guaranteed, but dedicating more energy to my victories rather than my failures (or potential for failure) is something I’m working on – and that’s worth celebrating.

Facing Your Fears Head-On

From my experience, fear can be isolating and soul-crushing. You’ll never fully conquer your fears, so using them as a catalyst for new experiences is the best thing you can do in this life. You can be good at being bad in all areas of your life – it helps you gain perspective on relationships, work, and new hobbies. Breaking out of your comfort zone is more fulfilling than staying in it, even if you take small steps. Eventually, you’ll reach new heights.

Talking to Vanity Fair for her newest film Lee, Kate Winslet revealed one project she wishes fans asked about more is Iris. The 2001 film stars Kate as a young Iris Murdoch against Judi Dench's older counterpart. And for Kate, nothing was more terrifying than working with such a wonderful actress.

"People don’t really ask me about Iris. It’s such a delicate film," she says. "It was the first thing I had done after having my daughter. Going to work with a baby, I’m playing Iris Murdoch, looking to Judi Dench’s older Iris Murdoch — I was sh—ting myself."

Considering how nervous I get when I meet my heroes, I can only imagine what it was like to meet Dame Judi Dench. Talk about a dream! Another film Kate loves is Revolutionary Road, and not just because she got to reunite with Leonardo DiCaprio.

"The thing that people say is, 'You got to work with Leo again.' Then they go off on the whole Leo tangent, which I totally understand," she says of the film, which follows an ambitious couple who find themselves trapped in the reality of 1950s suburbia. "But Revolutionary Road — f—king hell, it just knocked us all sideways. Unbelievably difficult material. I was very proud of that film and what Leo and I were able to create as Frank and April. It was so brutal."

The process for getting Lee into the world sounds equally brutal, considering Kate started working on it over a decade ago. As producer, Kate tells Vanity Fair she doesn't mind the fact she's done more for the film than if she only had an acting credit. "That has felt very necessary for this film. But it’s also just really important to me," she says. "It’s important to me that people know that it’s out there and might feel compelled to go and see it."

Because it turns out, commercial success or stardom on its own doesn't actually help your movie get made! "It doesn’t matter who you are," she says. "No one’s going to go, 'Oh, I’ll just back that pony because she was in Titanic.' It doesn’t happen that way, and I never expected that. That’s really important to say."

"I've gotten older and I’ve learned more and felt more confident in myself about whether or not I could actually do it," she adds. "It’s not something I would’ve done had I not felt so passionately about the subject, and Lee was just—she wouldn’t let me go."