7 Secrets Yoga Teachers Want You to Know

Between holiday travel and crunch time at work, it’s more important than ever to hit the mat this time of year. Whether you’re a seasoned yogi or a newbie just buying her first piece of Kate Spade yoga gear, everyone can benefit from a little expert advice. So we reached out to top instructors to get them to spill their best yoga secret. Here are their top seven words of wisdom.

1. Focus on the Basics. Sure, it’s normal to get classroom envy of the lady or fella who’s holding a headstand like it ain’t no thang, but mastering the fundamentals and devoting your energy to honing in on the simple poses is key. “It’s a yoga practice, not a performance!” Gina Marciano, yoga instructor at Studio Three in Chicago, reminds us. “It’s not about perfection, it’s about progress. Oftentimes, yoga poses are most beneficial when you go back to the basics and strip away the fancy variations,” Marciano adds. If you aren’t ready for certain poses in class, don’t be shy about grabbing a block to prop you up or other aids like foot bands. “This will not only make a posture more accessible, but will also allow your breath to deepen and for both your body and mind to be more responsive and less reactive to tension,” explains Marciano.

2. Try and Fail: It’s Okay! “Even if a pose looks super crazy or impossible, give it a try. You may surprise yourself, but even if you don’t, every time you try, it builds strength and confidence,” offers Rebecca Weible, Director and Founder of Yo Yoga! in New York City. Perfect example: You know that time your instructor tells you to have faith and let go and throw your feet into the air for crane pose? Trust yourself and just count “1-2-3” and then go. Hey, the worst that can happen is you teeter over and try again.

3. Connect With Your Breath. The secret? Well, it’s right under your nose and happening without you even noticing. “It’s your breath!” exclaims Karen Verechia, Yoga Instructor at Hilton Head Health, a wellness retreat in South Carolina. If you’re feeling stressed or frustrated, the yogi principle of connecting with your breath is key. “Focus on slowing down your breath. You can switch from your sympathetic nervous system (aka, the ‘fight or flight’ system) to the parasympathetic system (aka, the ‘rest and digest’ system), by simply taking the time for a fuller breath. You’ll emerge more relaxed and focused,” explains Verechia. Some important notes: Make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale by about two times. First count your inhale, and then double that count as you exhale. Verechia suggests trying for five to seven breath cycles in a minute, with a cycle of an inhale and exhale counting as one. When coffee cravings strike at work and you’re feeling sluggish, fatigued and like you totally can’t concentrate, try this “breath of fire” technique first, suggests Verechia: “Exhale strongly out of your month and pull your stomach in (like panting). Inhales just happen. Focus on the exhale and get a rhythm going. Aim for 60 counts, then rest. Notice. Repeat if necessary.

4. Choose a Mantra. “Before class, I say to myself, ‘I picked this choice. I did this for a reason. I don’t hate being in the brutal heat and humidity. I’m feeling fine.’ then I wish myself good luck and knock it out like a champ,” advises Patrick Mason, a TruFusion Yoga Instructor in Las Vegas. Whitney Owens, also a Yoga Instructor at TruFusion, shares “I like to begin my yoga practice in child’s pose to ground myself into the room and get present to listening to my body throughout the practice. I use the mantra, ‘Listen and trust your body.’ That way, I am working to stay away from injury, but finding my edge in each practice.” For you, your mantra might be as simple as “I am enough” or “Let go.” Use the quote to motivate and guide you throughout the whole class, particularly when you’re trying to hold a tough pose or find yourself struggling with a move. Check out these motivational posters for some inspiration.

5. Let Things Evolve Naturally. You’ve powered your way through planning and pulling off the perfect Friendsgiving and are a rock star when it comes to acing your cycling class. So, why are you having such a hard time nailing that Chaturanga in sync with the rest of your class? Don’t be discouraged. “Yoga is meant to be a lifetime practice, so there’s no sense in attempting to master every posture in the first week, six months or even year. Allow this to be the one part of your life that isn’t goal- or task-oriented and enjoy the freedom and ease that comes from that,” comforts Gina Marciano, yoga instructor at Studio Three in Chicago. “Forget about the destination and embrace every moment of the journey to self-discovery and abundant peace,” reflects Marciano.

6. Ditch the Mat Envy. You know the drill: Arrive in class, cool and confident. Until you realize you are next to the world’s most limber yogi who manages to have perfect hair and clothes and goes through class without a bead of sweat on her forehead. Instead of being jealous, remember this: “Don’t compare yourself to others while practicing yoga! Easier said than done, right? When we compare, we automatically focus our attention outward rather than inward and lose our connection to the breath and the present moment. As soon as you observe your thoughts starting to wander, bring yourself back to your breath. Take a deep inhale, exhale and bring your attention back to your own body and mind,” says Katie Manbachi, Yoga Instructor at Yo Yoga! in New York City.

7. Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate All Day Long, Especially Before Hot Yoga. You might think sipping on good ol’ H2O during class is enough, but yoga pros know better: “Hydrate well with electrolytic water throughout the day. If you are fully hydrated before class, you should not need water during class. Once class starts, it’s too late to gain the benefits of the hydration and drinking water becomes simply a psychosomatic crutch,” says Mark Balfe-Taylor, Director of Yoga at TruFusion. “However, for those who struggle with the temperature of heated classes, ice water will reduce your internal temperature, enabling you to cope better,” Balfe-Taylor advises. Bottom line: Sip on water throughout the day (here’s another reason to raise your glass, in case you need it), and still bring a bottle along to class.

Do you have a favorite yoga pose? Tweet us at @BritandCo!

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Just in time for a brand new month, we're kicking things off a 31-Day YogaChallenge this October. This year has had its fair share of ups and downs, but now it's time to recenter and refresh before our annual Holiday Season Sprint. You deserve to ease out of survivalmode and into a space where your stressisn't triggered as often. We all do.

From poses that lower your cortisol level to stretches that slowly eliminate back pain, here's everything you'll need to go from stressed to refreshed this month.

Week One (October 1st - 6th)

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To get our yoga challenge started, we're starting off nice and slow so that your body as well as your senses can awakened. Over the next seven days, let these yoga poses help you center your energy so you can feel present. Trust us - your inbox can wait 10 minutes for you to ease into your day.

Energy-Centering Morning Yoga

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10 min Morning Yoga - Gentle Beginner Yoga Stretch (NO PROPS)

Day One

This yoga routine keeps things light by allowing you to perform most movements in the sitting position. They'll help you begin to release any recurring tension you've been feeling.

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10 min Morning Yoga Stretch for Beginners - Energy Boost Yoga

Day Two

Begin day two of the yoga challenge with another morning stretch that elongates your spine and helps loosen any lingering tension in your hips.

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10 Min Morning Yoga Miracle! FEEL AMAZING! (All Levels Yoga)

Day Three

Continue stretching your way into day three of the yoga challenge with these soothing stretches.

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The BEST way to start your day! | 10-Minute Morning Yoga

Day Four

If things are beginning to feel repetitive today, don't give up! The goal is to help your body get used to being stretched before you start powering through your to-do list.

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15 MIN MORNING YOGA FLOW || Wake Up & Feel Energised

Day Five

If you have an extra five minutes to spare, try this 15 minute morning yoga routine for a slight change of pace.

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10 Minute Yoga Power Flow For Beginners

Day Six

Things are starting to get interesting with this power flow yoga routine. This requires you to finally leave the sitting position and we know you're grateful for that.

Image via Anna Nekrashevich / Pexels

For day 7, take the time to give your body a break from your first week of intentional morning yoga stretches! Make your favorite tea or pumpkin spice latte drink and enjoy the crisp fall air! The fun picks back up October 8th!

We hope you're enjoying October's 31-Day Yoga Challenge so far. Things are going to get exciting soon and we can't wait to hear all about your progress. Be sure to share your journey with us by tagging @britandco & #britstagram!

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For your friend who just can’t resist making a charcuterie board for every occasion to your cooking-crazy uncle, we’ve got the coolest edible gifts for 2024 right here. Gift something deliciously unforgettable – from decadent chocolate truffles to zesty spice mixes, these edible gifts bring joy to every bite. Edible gifts are also perfect for those who host you during the holidays and even coworkers! Get ready to spread some cheer with these edible gifts.

The 24 best edible gifts of 2024:

Below, find our top favorite edible gifts for everyone on your list!

Amazon

Graza Olive Oil Variety Pack

Any foodie will instantly recognize Graza's iconic squeezable olive oil bottles. This variety pack includes both their "Drizzle" and "Sizzle" oils that work wonderfully for a wide range of recipes.

Amazon

Coop's Original Hot Fudge

This hot fudge is crafted from super wholesome ingredients: pure chocolate, fresh cream, organic sugar cane, natural cocoa powder, and a touch of sea salt all come together for a heavenly (and very chocolatey) experience. Glob it on top of some ice cream to achieve pure dessert-y bliss.

Amazon

Tate's Bake Shop Chocolate Chip Cookies

These cookies may be light and crispy, but they're decadent as ever. Snag this 4-pack of bags (with 14 cookies each) to totally nail any sweet tooth's gift this year!

Flamingo Estate

Flamingo Estate Spicy Extra Virgin Olive Oil

This luxurious olive oil is infused with Guajillo chiles that bring an undeniable kick to whatever you cook with it.

Amazon

Hickory Farms Farmhouse Sausage & Cheese Food Gift Basket

Because who doesn't love snacking on meat and cheese? This loaded gift basket will keep them munching and satisfied during the in-between moments around the holidays.

Compartés

Compartés Boozy Chocolate Gift Box

This gift box's boozy chocolate flavors range from espresso martini to strawberry champagne. Gift them the entire box or split it up amongst friends for a fun (and alcoholic) stocking stuffer moment!

Fly By Jing

Fly By Jing Sichuan Starter Gift Set

This gift set from Fly By Jing includes four different chili crisps and sauces so your giftee can instantly spice up their dishes. We love using the OG Sichuan Chili Crisp on eggs, noodles, chicken, and more.

Kola Goodies

Kola Goodies Lilly's Maple Chai Box

This adorable book-shaped gift box is packed with a delicious maple chai drink mix for the perfect cozy beverage, which is simply a necessity around the holidays (and wintertime as a whole).

Fishwife

Fishwife The Starter Pack

Fishwife's variety of tinned fish can be used across a wide range of different dishes like sandwiches, wraps, salads, pastas, and more. Gift them this set of 7 tins so they can test out different recipes and find their absolute fave!

Uncommon Goods

Custom Message Shortbread Cookies

Let these sweet treats deliver your holiday wishes for you! You're able to customize the text on each piece of shortbread to bring even more cheer.

Subscribe to our newsletter for even more gift ideas!

Brit + Co may at times use affiliate links to promote products sold by others, but always offers genuine editorial recommendations.

My best friend and I have a running joke where instead of Thing 1 and Thing 2, we call ourselves Overwhelmed and Overstimulated. With so many devices, so many notifications, so many online clothing stores, so many streaming services (and so on and so forth), it's easy to feel stressed by everything happening in life. I get it!

That's why I talked to Sussan Nwogwugwu, Regional Nurse Practitioner Lead for digital health platform Done. Nwogwugwu offered some insight into symptoms that might indicate you have ADHD and how to help in those moments where *you* feel overwhelmed and overstimulated.

Figuring Out A Diagnosis

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While they can feel similar, there is a difference between having ADHD and just feeling overwhelmed. "On the one hand, feeling overstimulated may emanate from several stimuli, including stress, lack of adequate sleep, excessive noise, or sensory overload," Nwogwugwu says. "ADHD is a neurodevelopment disorder characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, impulsivity that significantly impair daily functioning, or hyperactivity and are present in multiple settings."

So overstimulation is the result of outward elements, but ADHD comes from inside your brain. And while stress can have its up and downs, ADHD and its symptoms are consistent.

Nwogwugwu also says claiming ADHD when you don't actually have it can be harmful. That's why it's important to talk to a pro (like a psychiatrist or a psychologist) instead of using TikTok to self-diagnose.

"Self-diagnosis may lead to misunderstanding, eventually preventing the individual from accessing appropriate support and proper treatment," she says. If you self-diagnose and treat one disorder when you're really struggling with something else, you won't get the help you truly need.

That being said, don't feel like you have to dismiss consistent patterns or habits if they're interrupting your daily life. Nwogwugwu points out a few behaviors that could indicate you have undiagnosed ADHD, like "difficulty concentrating and focusing on tasks that are not particularly interesting or stimulating."

"Undiagnosed ADHD could manifest through impulsive behaviors such as acting without thinking, interrupting others while talking, or a high inclination to risky behaviors," she continues. You might also misplace items, lose track of time, and constantly forget and miss appointments, but that's not all.

"An individual with unorganized and difficulty that results in a cluttered environment could have undiagnosed ADHD [and it] could manifest through restlessness where an individual has challenges relaxing and always feels 'on the go,'" she says. "In addition, it could manifest in challenges in following instructions [or] difficulty in multitasking effectively, and difficulties with impulse control."

Living In The Present

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Like so many other areas in the health and wellness space, ADHD can manifest differently in different people! That means that there's no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to getting diagnosed, which emphasizes how important it is to talk to your doctor.

One specific area where it depends on the person? ADHD affects women differently than it affects men.

"Inattentive symptoms are predominant in women, while hyperactive and impulsive symptoms are common among men," Nwogwugwu says. "Besides, co-occurring conditions such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders are more common in women than men with ADHD."

Women living with ADHD can also end up internalizing their problems, which impacts emotional regulation, self-confidence, and self-esteem.

Nwogwugwu also mentions how important it is to form an individualized care plan to make sure you're taking care of your specific needs — including your mental health. "Hyperactivity, impulsivity, and difficulties with impulse control may lead to interpersonal conflicts and social difficulties, affecting an individual’s self-image and self-concept adversely," she says.

Struggling with organization, attention, and time management can affect the people around you, which in turn might leave you feeling like you aren't meeting expectations for work or your relationships. We've been there, and we also know that stressing about those details can make it easier to mess up next time.

"This may cause frustration, feelings of underachievement, or actual underachievement that would lower an individual’s self-esteem," she says. "Persons with ADHD can face judgment, criticism, and stigma from society and feel rejected by peers because of their poor social skills. The negative experiences could have adverse effects on self-concept and self-esteem, especially among children."

Moving Forward

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But the good news is that your life doesn't have to come to a standstill because of an ADHD diagnosis. Whether your doctor recommends lifestyle changes or steps that are a bit more extreme, there are also some calming habits Nwogwugwu recommends adding into your routine.

"Breathing exercises and yoga could help address the feelings," she says. "The techniques slow down the heart rate and reduce cortisol levels resulting in improved and sustained attention and affect." Since breathing techniques are grounding, they help you focus on something besides what's making you anxious.

"Talking to someone who can help, this can be a therapist, friend, a family member, or a counselor can be a great way to get some relief," she adds. "It helps one to express emotions or sentiments openly, which may relief the burden. Expressive writingcould help in regulating emotions through neural activation. In other words, writing could be therapeutic for overstimulated or overwhelmed individuals by helping them feel in control of the situation."

If you're feeling symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD, make sure to talk to your doctor for a care plan! Check out our email newsletter to hear from more health experts.

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If you're finding it hard to make friends as an adult, or maintain friendships from different life stages, you're definitely not alone. According to Dr. Deborah Gilboa, MD, Scientific Advisor for Azar, and a recent study from Azar and Talker, it's not abnormal to feel heightened levels of loneliness. In fact, that study suggests Gen Z feels lonely every day.

"Loneliness feels isolating because it goes beyond just lacking company; it’s a lack of meaningful connection," she says over email. "Social contact without meaning can worsen loneliness as it increases the individual’s perception of isolation and lack of belonging. The antidote is true social connection."

But how can we find that real social connection and community? I talked to Dr. Gilboa, JustAnswer Mental Health Expert Jennifer Kelman, and NYC Psychologist Dr. Alexandra Stratyner PhD, for some insight into behaviors that attract friends. Here are some behaviors that will simply make you irresistible — and will help you identify good friends in others!

Keep reading for some advice on how to attract friends — and easy ways to be a better friend to the people you love.

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There's no shame in realizing you're feeling lonely, but it's also important to identify when that loneliness morphs into isolation. "Even though many might be experiencing the same feelings, that doesn't mean they are reaching out for support," Kelman says. "Many are not feeling enough strength to reach out to others or feel like they are being a burden so they reason alone with their feelings."

"It's also become more evident as our reliance on digital communication has grown, sometimes leaving us more connected online but feeling less understood and less connected in more meaningful, in-person ways," Dr. Stratyner adds. And then there's the social expectation of it all. "Many people tend to hide their loneliness because they feel shame or embarrassment about it. This can make it even harder to open up and connect with others who might be feeling the same way. The more we keep these feelings to ourselves, the more it reinforces the isolation, even though we all experience it in varying forms."

"It is hard to see light when things feel dark, and many go inward to deal with their feelings," Kelman points out. "Many are so burdened by their feelings that they might not feel capable to care for those around them or to show up and be present for others."

And just like Dr. Gilboa says, we're looking for true connection, not just surface-level friendships. But how can we make true social connection? Here's what they suggest.

1. A good friend shows care and empathy for the people around them.

If you care for the people around you, there's a very good chance others will want to be your friend. "People that show empathy toward others are very attractive qualities as it shows that one has the capacity to care for others and be present for them," Kelman says. "Those that are gregarious and selfless can be quite appealing as well. Those that are self-involved tend to repel others rather than attract."

Focusing on others instead of yourself can be easier said than done, but the it's definitely worth it. "People are drawn to those who show genuine care and understanding," Dr. Stratyner agrees.

​2. A good friend is reliable and trustworthy.

Our inner circle is going to be made up of people who know us inside and out, but it's unlikely someone will reach that level of emotional intimacy unless you really trust them. "In friendship people rate reliability, honesty and trustworthiness more highly [than romantic relationships]," Dr. Gilboa says.

​3. People are attracted to humor.

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I'm sure we can all think of someone who never fails to make us laugh. And being the funny friend can mean a lot of things: you know how to poke fun at yourself or you don't take things too seriously (unless they need to be taken seriously, of course). But that doesn't mean making other people the butt of mean jokes.

"A good sense of humor helps foster a positive, lighthearted atmosphere, making interactions feel enjoyable and memorable," Stratyner says. "Plus, everyone loves to laugh."

​4. You need to be a good listener.

No one wants to be talked at and never listened to. After all, we do have two ears and one mouth! But simply nodding your head and zoning out won't cut it. "People appreciate feeling truly heard," Dr. Stratyner says. "This demonstrates respect, interest, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level."

"Be a great listener without asserting your own views or agenda," Kelman adds. "Be available, vulnerable and present. Ask those around you how they are and truly listen to how they feel. Be open and direct and most of all, be a constant. Nothing better than knowing that you will be there for all things."

So engage with what your friends are saying and, even better, remember it later!

5. A good friend is generous.

Is there a better time to talk about generosity than Thanksgiving? Be generous with your time, resources, and your heart — but don't worry, that doesn't mean you have to let someone else steam roll you. After all, a good friend also won't take advantage of you!

"Giving to others and the community are wonderful traits and habits that are very attractive to others and may draw people in," Kelman says. "People want to be around people that give and are easy-going in their interactions with individuals and the world around them."

​6. New friends are attracted to positivity.

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When things feel dark, new friends will be attracted to someone who can make the world feel a little lighter. "People are often attracted to those who can find the silver lining, stay hopeful, and spread good vibes, especially in challenging situations," Dr. Stratyner says.

That's not to say you can never have bad days or process things like disappointment and grief. It just means you aren't ruled by them. (Listen, as an Enneagram 4, I'm talking to myself!)

Ok, you might be thinking, this is great but what do I do with this information? Here are some easy, actionable steps to take if you want to make new friends.

1. Understand why you're feeling lonely will help you address the real problem.

"First is to get an understanding of the loneliness and where it is coming from...finding community too soon may cause an increase in loneliness even while being surrounded by others," Kelman recommends.

You can't reach a solution if you don't know what the real problem is. I realized since I work from home, I need to do better about leaving the apartment, and my favorite way to spend an afternoon is coworking with a friend at a coffee shop.

​2. Finding new hobbies will connect you with similar people.

I met some of my best friends through a big movie group, which means when I have a meme or a piece of news to fangirl over, I know exactly who to contact. "Find activities that ignite you, find like minded individuals with whom to connect," Kelman adds. "Join a book club, pick up a new sport or hobby, but again, trying to immerse yourself too soon may not have any impact on the lonely feelings."

"The antidote to loneliness is social connection — true connection that paves the way for belonging," Dr. Gilboah says. "Talking to people to learn what interests and values are shared will open the door for the types of relationships that become community."

​3. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

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Listen. If you only ever order takeout and watch Netflix, you'll simply never make new connections. You gotta get after it! "Look for community events, clubs, or hobby groups that align with your interests, whether book clubs, sports leagues, or volunteering opportunities," Dr. Stratyner says. "Being around people with shared passions makes it easier to start conversations and find common ground."

​4. And don't be afraid to reach out first.

For some reason, we've decided that reaching out first (or double texting) means we're needy and insufferable. This is simply not the case because who doesn't want to know they were thought of!! Plus, there's a good chance that if you're overthinking every little detail, other people are too.

"Reach out, even in small ways, to those around us who may be feeling the same," says Dr. Gilboah. "Loneliness often leads to rumination - the act of dwelling on or spiraling downward through negative thoughts. Ruminating can cause further isolation and distracts us from the people and stimuli around us."

​5. Be present when you're finally with people.

When you do make special connections, it's super important to make sure you're offering your full attention. "Showing up emotionally and physically makes them feel valued and heard, strengthening your bond," Dr. Stratyner says. She also recommends checking in to remind them you're there, and genuinely celebrating their wins (which, separately, is definitely a sign of being a girls' girl). "If a friend is going through a tough time, offer to help in any way you can," she adds. "Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggle and offering your time can make all the difference."

"The best news about friendship is that Gen Z values authenticity above just about any other factor in friendship," Dr. Gilboah says. "Gathering the courage to be your true self and [mixing] that with empathetic listening will make you a sought after friend."

What's your favorite way to get to know new friends? Here are 10 Thought-Provoking Questions To Know Close Friends More Intimately!

With the holidays now approaching almost eerily quickly, you might already be feeling slightly uneasy about the family stresses that are bound to be on your plate (along with delicious Christmas cookies, of course). Spending a lot of time face-to-face with family can dig up old arguments or squabbles that everyone may have forgotten during the rest of the year.

Learn the 8 best ways to support your friend while they're in the middle of family drama

You’re not the only one dealing with the drama, though, and while your own family issues might feel somewhat out of your control, there might be more you can do to take the edge off the stress that your friends are feeling in anticipation of holiday gatherings. Keep scrolling for eight expert tips for how to best offer support to your most stress-ridden BFFs.

1. Listen without judging if your friend reveals an ongoing argument about a family will

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Being a good listener is one of the most basic — and yet most important — things you can do as a friend 365 days of the year, but when tensions run high near the holidays, those listening skills become all the more crucial. You might even consider resisting the urge to speak, like, at all. “Be a good listener and don’t give advice,” licensed marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says. “Supporting someone doesn’t mean that you have to fix their problem. Instead, truly being supportive means giving a hug when someone is crying and being a caring friend.”

2. Prep your pal to expect drama if your uncle's invited his new girlfriend and ex to dinner

Rather than reassuring your friend that things at family celebrations may not be as bad as they fear, trust what they know about the situation and help them wrap their head around what’s to come. This should minimize the stress for them in the long run. “If you expect it and it happens, situation normal,” certified life coach Susan Golicic tells us. “If you expect it and it doesn’t, well, then, a bonus!”

3. Help your bestie make a plan in case their fight-or-flight mode gets triggered

Going into any situation with a plan almost always feels better than going in unprepared. Per writer, speaker, and healing expert Alisa Zipursky, a helpful plan might include specific check-in times, a code word that indicates your friend needs extra support, and ideas for creating healthy boundaries with family members who make them feel especially triggered. “The idea is to make asking for help as easy as possible,” Zipursky says. “Making sure a proactive plan is in place well before someone enters the stressful situation can help relieve some of the anticipatory anxiety.”

4. Check in often by sending your friend periodic texts 

Licensed counselor Maria Inoa recommends that you prioritize regular touch-base texts over the course of whatever event is causing your friend the most stress. It’s not about solving the conflicts or taking away their pain. Instead, you can focus on offering gentle reminders that you are thinking of them and are available if they need you.

5. Create a new tradition that revolves around you and and your bestie's favorite Christmas movies

If your friend’s family holiday celebrations don’t exactly inspire positive feelings about the occasion, why not help them establish some better associations? Licensed clinical professional counselor Anna Poss suggests planning a “low-stress, fun way to celebrate with each other before or after the actual holiday.” Get a seasonal movie night or cookie swap on the calendar before everyone leaves town to hang with family. Those cozy vibes may help dull the negative, anxious feelings.

6. Write down words of affirmations for them to look at

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Grab some pretty stationery and put your love and support on paper for your BFF. “In the note, remind her how strong, courageous, and capable she is,” licensed psychotherapist and life coach Diane Petrella says. “Let her know how much you love and admire her and how grateful you are for her friendship. Write whatever you think your friend needs to hear to feel supported, grounded, and loved.” Remind her to hide the note in her pocket or bag so she can read it whenever she needs a little extra TLC over the course of the holidays. You can even go one step further and send them home with a care package, per therapistShannon Thomas.

7. Invite your friend to your family celebration

If things have gotten so bad with your bestie’s family that she wants to steer clear of their celebrations entirely, you may want to invite her to join you and your crew instead. Even if she opts to decline your invitation, it will mean a lot to her to know that she has choices. If your friend does take you up on the offer, Mountainside Treatment Center‘s family wellness manager Tina Muller recommends that you try to incorporate some of her favorite traditions into your holiday schedule.

8. Keep your phone nearby if your friend needs to talk about everything that happened

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“Before an event with possible family issues even happens, schedule a time not long after to see the friend,” marriage and family therapist Sarah Epstein suggests. “Now you’ve become the light at the end of the tunnel for them.” Be prepared to be a listening ear over dinner or a workout session so your pal can vent about everything that’s gone on and (hopefully) be ready to move on from there.

How do you and your pals support each other through the not-so-fun parts of the holidays? Tweet us @BritandCo.

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